Archived Messages from June 7, 2000 to June 20, 20000

Lurk...Lurk...Lurk...

I haven't been posting much...nor have I been online much during the past few days...but I have been lurking and reading posts.

Litter - CONGRATS!!! A NOVEL PUBLISHED!!! PAAARRRRTTTYYY!!! Tell me when it's out and where I can get it!
Allein

Teekay,

I read your short story and critiqued it. When I tried to send it I could not get online. My ISP has been messed up off and on for several days. I am currently in Tulsa and am writing you this message on my husband's laptop. I loved the story and thought you did well with the ending. You really had me going. I do not think a lot of people can execute that type of twist so well. This is the best story you have ever sent me. I had forgotten that some of us were doing ghost stories, and I was totally taken unawares. I will send you the file as soon as I get home which will be Thursday afternoon. There are only some minor corrections, nothing major, just a few suggestions to make the story read smoother.

I did a lot of work on TRB. I will send you chapters as soon as I get back.

Litter,

Congratulations!!! Somehow I am not too surprised. Tell me where I can get a copy just as soon as it comes out.

Must go now,

Rhoda

A post script for Tina!

Your feelings about posting your whole novel on the internet are exactly why I won't post my 'real work'. I don't want it that available since plaigarism is still not a thing of the past. It's easier now than before the web came about.

I do sometimes think about it, saying to myself that even if I did post the beginning, no one who would plaigarize could write exactly like I do, (or exactly like anyone else for that matter) so they likely wouldn't be able to finish it with the whole piece flowing the same way. An editor might catch that kind of thing. But I still won't take the chance of even losing the first bit. I lost it once before, when my computer caught a bad virus, and 30,000+ words were wiped.

Even my backups on disk were unreadable since the virus had plagued the whole system before our anti-virus protector caught on. Everything I saved (and replaced over top of previous work) was destroyed. My brother, computer scientist extraordinaire, was able to fish out tidbits, so in essence, I got almost every sentence back - but in complete dissaray. He found numerous copies of it in fragments, one for every time I saved it. Including all the edits and re-writes. It was such a mess I just started writing it fresh, not even using the tidbits. I even started writing it over again, beginning with a new angle (right in the middle of conflict) before I got anything back from my brother.
It was a blessing in disguise, that virus.
The first draft wasn't as good as I had wanted it to be, but the new one came out so much better, it was like a totally new story. I would have been floundering for months just trying to get the original chapter to sound right - so starting fresh really made a big difference!

So you see, there really is a reason for everything.

Here is a little story in that vein:

Once there was a man who had a strong, healthy son who had just turned 18. He and his son and his wife lived on a horse farm.

One day, their best breeding stallion ran off. The neighbour, on hearing the news said, "Oh, that's terrible news! I'm so sorry."
But the father just replied, "Good, bad, who can say?"

The next morning the stallion came back, and there were three young mares following him.
The neighbour again was at the fence, saying, "Oh, that's wonderful news! Lucky you!"
But the father just said, "Good, bad, who can say?"

One afternoon, his son was riding on one of the new mares, and the horse reared and bucked causing him to fall and break his leg.
The neighbour was again talking to his father, saying, "Oh, what bad news! That's so awful!"
And the father replied simply, "Good, bad, who can say?"

The next week a letter came in the mail. It was from the army, stating that all men 18 and up were to be drafted.
Since the son had broken his leg, he did not have to go.

A few months later, the neighbours all got news that their sons were killed in the battle, but since he had broken his leg, the horse farmer's son had been spared.


Good news, bad news, who can say?
******

Litter - CONGRATS! - let us know when and where it is available, so we can get a copy.

Jerry

LITTER! CONGRATULATIONS AND CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN! HURRAY!
I can't congratulate you enough! Don't go leaving us now, alright? WAY TO GO LITTERALI!!!
Count me in on buying a copy of your book!

Americo, I would love to write the anthem. Not right this minute, but yes.
Right now I'm drawing a big fat blank.
I think I'll go warm up these fingertips on my coffee cup, and the keys.

And I might have some reading to do, if Tina really did post the revision of her chapter 1 and the prologue as well - I do believe I saw it perched there, taunting me to leave the laundry pile unfolded yesterday. But it could have been an hallucination...
Sorry, Tina, I haven't read it yet, but the laundry isn't folded, either. Kids have a way of grabbing your attention (throat) and enticing (dragging) you away from things every once in a while (five minute intervals). And now that they are fast asleep, I remember why I think they're such beautiful cherubim.

Thank you Hallee, I really hope you gleaned a few useful tidbits from the crit of chapter 5. It sounds like you did!
If I can help, you know I'm right there.

As for Pussy, she can be a rather nasty feline. Very egocentric as well. But now I'm talking about her and she'll be happy I just mentioned her name... feisty furball!

Heather

P.S. Party for Litter at my place on my sundeck! We'll have BBQ'd ribs and lobsters, caviar and champagne, mushrooms dripping in wine sauce and cheese, and yes, Howard, I will make several large platters of fiddleheads! They're in season!

Litter, our guest of honour, will get the best seat of the house, the nicest napkin, and the tallest hat.

Ta ta!

LITTER: What a rush!!!!! I can't wait to have a copy in my grimy little hands!!!! Congrats and way to go!!

CONGRATULATIONS LITTER !!!!!

TINA - I'm looking forward to reading it - but it's 9:30 and I just got home. I'll check it out first thing tomorrow (I'm so excited...lalalala)

HEATHER: I'm on your side (are there sides? Are we supposed to pick?) because you have been so much more helpful in my craft and much nicer to me than Pussy. (hehe - I ought to put in an emoticon) :)

'Nite all.
Hallee

Litter - YEAH! I am happy for you. That is wonderful, wonderful news.

Take care you,

Rachel

Litter,

You are going to publish a novel? Sincere congratulations! Count on me to buy a copy.

Now my usual report.

Dear notebookers,

I heard of the revolution In the Empire performed, single-handed, by — who of all people? — Pussy, our Hollywood starlet. I hope that does not distract us from more important affairs, like the Euro soccer championship, in which Portugal has just beat Germany (3-0), three times world and present European champion. A name to add to our list of artists: Sérgio Conceição, who performed a hat-trick (three goals). In the other match, England lost to Rumania, and is packing to go home. My regrets to the subjects of Her Majesty the Queen. As I said once, I like the English, and I'm sad that they won't have a chance to play against Portugal again. I am sure they would do well, at least better than the Germans, who are also taking the plane back to their Vaterland.

As for the revolution, I advise the former PM and her former ministers not to try any actions which could lead to unecessary shed of tea. Yesterday Pussy had to go to her window at midnight and graciously wave to the soldiers of the former Minister of Justice, thus dispersing them (rebel Minister included) with their cannons. Another sign of rebellion can provoke unexpected reactions of that young lady, who, like the former PM, but surrounded by better collaborators, was born to win. 

So, angry at Pussy's unexpected coup d'etat /revolution, but resigned to our insignificance, let us behave ourselves and do our duty as mere writers and artists. I suggest that we compose the new hymn of the Empire and salute the new flag, which will be all white, a symbol of peace and milk and sugar.

Americo, ex-Minister of Sports and Games.

PS. Heather, Pussy asked me, as a token of admiration for your talent as a writer though poor leadership as PM, to invite you to write the words for the hymn of the notebook. Any volunteers for the music?

---
Warm congratulations to Litter again. Please do not leave us now, you are in good company.

And tonight is Litter's night. He is a good example for all of us.

CONGRATULATIONS LITTER!!!!!!!

T.J.

Hello Heather, Jerry and other silent lurkers!

It's official. Everyone I work with thinks I'm wierd. I walked around reciting 'Jabberwocky' all day at work and they've concluded that I've lost it. Gone over the edge. I just couldn't help myself!

I posted another bit of my novel. Just a short bit that finishes off what I'd left hanging on my last long post. Thank you Hallee for reading! So few people have read it that I'm still very insecure about putting it out there for examination. My sister wants a copy to read, and while I feel excited that she wants to, I'm also dreading her reaction. What will she think? Worse, what will she think and not say to me? What if she reads into it and comes up with all sorts of off the wall ideas about what I meant?

The crazy thing is that at the same time as I'm insecure about my story, I also feel that I haven't done a bad job. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but that's kind of why I'm here looking for input. I figure that if it is bad, strangers (not so strange any more) are the ones who'll tell me so. I'm fairly confident that most everyone here is honest about why they're here, and aren't out to pain others to build their own ego.

On that thought, I'm getting less comfortable with placing a huge amount of my story on the internet. I know the chances are slim, but I worry about copyright infringment. If anyone has been reading 'Shadow' and would like to continue - something I'd be hugely grateful for - I'd be more comfortable e-mailing it straight to you, and putting only specific sections in the workbook. Maybe I'm paranoid but that's just how it is.

Did anyone hear that? I thought I heard a snicker...;-)

Off to my garden on this beautiful sunny day! (Hope you like that rain, Heather.)
T.J.

Hi All,

My adrenalin is pumping and I cannot concentrate on anything else - except my Sci-Fi/End Days/Apocalyptic novel 'The Watchers'. (which has a little humour and love interest thrown in for good measure)

I cannot concentrate on anything else - coz it is being published!

Yeee Haaaaaaaaa!

catch you all later,

Litter

Yeeeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Heather - gets rather lonely here in non-prime-time doesn't it?

Where are all the people?

Good evening, everyone. Anyone?

Wow... suddenly I feel less responsible.
Although, as former P.M. of the page, I must tell you that I never really knew what exactly my duties were supposed to be. Take that, you scoundrel.

Hmmm. Yes, Jon, you're my scapegoat. Sorry, scapecat.

Nevermind, I'm drooling prose. Very bad, very ultra-ordinary prose, as well. Yuck.

Just checking in and found nobody home.
I won't cry. I'll just be back later when the action gets well, existent.

Heather
Heather
There's an echo in here.

That sounded as if I've only begun to read recently.
No, I could read very well at age 4.
Really.

Heather

Ok, so I'm not so disgruntled, and angst is not my server.

If I must be fired, then so be it.

But I won't go quietly. (You know me by now, don't you?)

You're welcome, Tina. I bought that book for my daughter a few years ago. She loved the pictures. It is a strange little copy of it with the illustrations by Graeme Base. Very odd, oh, yes, indeed.
I wonder what pharmaceudicals he injested before he sat down in front of his typewriter? Meaning Lewis Carroll. But I wonder what pharmaceuticals Graeme Base took, too.

~~~~~

Hallee, I posted a crit for chapter 5, remember to take it lightly and with loads of salt. I am not an official critique Master, by any means. Just one who loves all things literary. And I've only just begun my reading career.

Tip o' the hat to all of you

Heather

that last post was from me to sasquatch...i filled out the form wrong...again.

very wise words indeed.
what a relief.
mary

Thank you Heather!
T.J.

Pussy, I fear you have contradicted your pretty self and gotten involved in politics. I thought you said you hated politics!

An election must be called if the Prime Minister is to be taken out of office.

Thanks, Jerry, for your chivalrous offering to protect the P.M. undergoing a coup from the forces of cats.

I think I will just set out a small bowl of cream and go back to dreaming.

Besides, I have to rest if I want to finish chapter 4 today.

Goodweed, I would take up your thoughtful offer but at this time I am rather busy with my novel. I rarely write a short story for the workbook and I suppose that is what has raised a lot of hairs around here. But I did post a story in the shortie section.
Perhaps her majesty did not like it, probably because her loyal subjects were the pale faces that landed and began claiming much of North America. The advent of the much suffering, by her ancestors' cruel hands.

Good day to all, and you all have a say in what things take shape here. If you liked the miniature government we had going, say so.

And for Tina:

"JABBERWOCKY, by Lewis Carroll

T'was brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood a while in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came shiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

And, hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.

T'was brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe."



These were the words that Alice read, through the Looking Glass.


Ta ta!
Outgrabe ya later
Heather

Just to tell all the newbies that they have passed.

Internet problems again, oh dear!

PS. Did you people see my interview in PrettyFaces?

Jon is scuba diving in the Arctic (below the ice).

A* is watching soccer.

I'm so happy!

Mary person no i sasquatch do not go other places, do not like the dark places, and only come here where it is friendly and good persons. i have heard of other twisted persons but do not speak with them. and i sasquatch am only sasquatch not person. humans persons are made different from the rest and are more like the one who makes us all. i think humans persons will be less twisted if they memory that. i must go.

PUSSY:

Ready...set...go:
novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels, novels.

47 seconds...do I pass?

I would like to see both "As Darkness Descends" and Jack's original story back in the round robin. I would also like to see more participation. We can stretch our imaginations with such exercises. I find it educational and a great deal of fun trying to add to a story in such a way that I follow the a style that is perhaps not my own, but someone elses and try to blen my parts into the other. Besides, the stories were shaping up nicely.

But, that is just my opinion.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

Dear Pussy,

I did not know that we were under a government here. I just recently arrived, and would like to formally introduce myself, (Your Majesty - or just Pussy?). I am marinasun, I have a website with my stories posted there, I have posted one unfinished short story in the workbook, and have participated generally in the joyful roust we have going here in the Notebook. I welcome your rulership, and I too enjoy intellectual science fiction, and have non-intellectual stories I could post.

I must confess that I do enjoy the sport of smileys, and will quite often be found pasting them across any of my postings - even in the Workbook. Please... do not gasp. I was unaware that I was being disrespectful.

We shall all enjoy your structured eye governing us poor, uncivilized common folk... mere peasants.

Good day, my ladyship,
marinasun

I archived everything and closed down the Round Robins partly because Americo asked that I do so and partly because there did not seem to be any activity going. If any want me to put anything back up or to start something new you only have to ask, but I suggest that you ask quickly. As of June 30th I will be incommunicado for two weeks. Er. Well, maybe an internet connection will appear while in Hawaii, but I am not going to hold my breath. I will get pictures and post them on my posi-web page as soon as I can.

I would like to reasure all those who have made this bloodless coup take place -Thomas Jefferson, himself,(minus the lovely Ms. Hemings) said every good government must undergo a coup occasionally, or if not the people's needs will not be served.

He was obviously Pre-Marxist, but as he helped the US rebvolt against their oppressor (please take no personal offense) King George and his many tyrannie - Vive l'revolution!

On to more meaty stuff - to one who has no idea whatis going on in the Notebook - these posts are a hoot.

Candice

Ooops, I pulled a Hallee (sorry Hallee) and forgot who I am!
Then I say 'send me a copy anyone' and don't give my e-mail! Must be all this SUNSHINE getting to my head.

T.J.

Twas brilling and the slithy toves
Did gure and gimble in the wake
All mimsy were the borogroves...

Or something like that.

Thank you Sasquatch! I love that poem, have since I was thirteen and first read it. But I don't have it anymore, I lost my copy that a friend had copied out for me. Does anyone have the whole thing? I'd be eternally grateful for an emailed copy of 'Jabberwocky'! And Sasquatch, you should avoid those little red berries...;-)

My ghost story is happening and I can't stop writing for long. I love this excitement of words coming out exactly as I want them!

Boo!
T.J.

I was trying to get into the round robin stories to see if any ghost stories had materialized. I failed to enter properly but found the files for "As Darkness Descends" on my hardrive. It must have been saved by Netscape. Anyway, I copied and pasted it into my word processor. Any who would like to read the story, as far as it went, let me know. If you would like to add to it privately, let me know and we can play with it. I would like to hear from Gail Williams. I don't know if I just don't recognize her nick or whether she left the notebook.

If you want to work on this story with me, i'll send it via e-mail attachment in RTF (Rich Text Format) which nearly all word processors can translate equally well.

Any takers?

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

PUSSY, YOU CAN'T FIRE ME YOU ARE JUST A FIGUREHEAD!!!!! I WILL WAIT FOR JON TO COME BACK AND FIRE ME HIMSELF.

OR BETTER YET, I QUIT.

SASQUATCH PERSON:In attempting a little hands on research for a character I am writing, I visited parts of the lesser known, darker online chat rooms. Enlightening as it was, I was most surprised to see someone posting under the name 'sasquatch'. I didn't read what this person posted (1/2 afraid it was you'), but if it was you, I just wanted to warn you that if you do that too much you can go blind. That is how it works with us humans anyway.

ps. never ever talk to a girl named bunny. she is bad.

Humans persons i have again found a book in a place where someone discards old unwanted things. it has no covers and many of pages are not there i think but i can read of it but some is in a language i think is not of here. what is brillig and the slithey toves? and where is the home of this jabberwock or is this like a dream from eating too many of the little red mushrooms? Christi person i am thinking of you and ones you love. i know what love is and that it does not die. i must go.

Letter from the Queen

Dear Pussy, my little devil,

I read on the papers that you dismissed all the ministers, including Number One. Well done! Ministers are such a bore! I had one, some years ago, a woman — what a disgrace. I cannot remember her name, they say that she wore knickers of iron, yes, "the iron nickers." If I had your talent for dismissing ministers, I should have dismissed her 20 times. But, well, I hate politics as much as you do. You are a glory for all women! God shave you, as they shout here (when they are drunk).

PS. Please try not to send any of those lazybones to gaol. That's expensive, you know.

PPS. Congratulations on your fantastic football team. Those men are so handsome...

PPS. I've just fired my cook.

Hallee,

I usually don't talk to people who have never come to any of my tea-parties. But I make an exception to you, as you are so pretty. Well, tests for newbies... Good question. It depends on the newbie, you know. How about writing twenty three novels in five minutes? A piece of cake for you...
And you must also come to one of my parties. All former ministers will have to, anyway. A question: should I arrest the former Prime-Minister? They say it's usual in times of Revolution. I hate arresting people. I'd rather have their heads cut. What do you think?

ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS:

Due to the recent COUPD'E TAT, I have ordered the malita into full service to protect the PM. All citizens reporting to the central distrubition point will be immediately issued guns to protect our form of government. I also have requested the PM to place our nation under martial law, and implement through emergency powers act, enact a death penalty.

Jerry Ericsson
Minister for gun control and the death penalty.

PUSSY: Please, do tell. What might those required test be? For, I certainly would want to avoid offending someone who is so obviously high in status as yourself. :) (oops - emoticons offend you...hmmm...well, the smile was sincere, anyway.)

THIS IS A COUP D'ETAT!

My people

I am appaled to see how such a great Empire has had such a poor Government. I will not delve into the details of Heather's failure as PM and the incompetence of all her Ministers. I will just point out some of the most striking flops of her Government:

— Science-fiction, the most cherished genre of this site, has been reduced to zero, and is now in danger of been superseded by ghost-stories...

— English, the language of this site, continues suffering the most dreadful attacks, like undue capitalization of whole sentences, shouts of all kinds, emoticons, and even the use of words like pre-menstrual (for prime-minister) ...

— None of the ministers has been doing his/her duty, except A*, despite his badly desguised leaning towards his own team. Even Arik has ceased giving his prizes...

— New people have started writing to this site without doing the required tests. That explains the wilderness of the posts and the return to sentences like "my beloved country", "I loved your story" and shortly, if we are not careful, "the land of the free and the brave" or even "boo".

I could go on and on. But my time is short and my task immense. There is only one way to save the Empire. To dismiss all the ministers and their prime-minister. And to declare this Empire the first Anarchy in History. From this moment on there will be no more ministers and no more prime-ministers. (At least until Jon returns from his voyage around the world and sends me to the library.)

THIS IS NOT A COUP D'ETAT.

THIS IS A REVOLUTION!

Now back to my tea.
Pussy

PS. A* can go on writing his lovely reports on the wonders of the Portuguese soccer team.

Ms. PM,

Aren't ALL the ministers supposed to work? Why is A* the only one who writes reports? Are sure you know how to lead an Empire?

I tried ti say this last night but my post wouldn't go on - ladies - thank you for critiquing my chapter - as I was rereading it to my hubby last night I realized what I posted still has mucho problemos - I haven't really edited it correctly or the little things wouldn't glare at me.

So, anyway, dear hubby - he may be hubby #1, after this - when I finished said - hmmm, nice. Oh, well.

Church and home, Hallee, sounds great - here the big festival was OpSail 2000 with all the tall ships from 20 + countries and the sailors too - I had to get pics to refresh my memories for another book. Due to sudden downdrafts and torrential rain, we were caught under a tent. Another couple, really young, 2 Portugese sailors, a Russian doctor and his wife were also caught. The other groups - cepting the doc/wife and ourselves stayed until the rain subsided - great for the tomatoes and squash and zinnias - and we took the couple back to the tall ship they were part of. We were invited aboard and drank vodka - the Russian stuff, of course - until all hours. Will this make it into a book? - you'd better believe it!

Oh, well, as I had said thanks for the Great critiques - what I could use. Thanks forever.

Candice

Just to tell you that the name of my yacht is "My Flower" and is sailing somewhere in the vast ocean.

PS. I said "My Flower", not "Mayflower".

Heather, thank you for taking the rain! I hope you're getting nicely wet by now. I woke up to wonderful blue sky, warm sun and only a few high clouds meandering around the sky, so it seems we were successful.;-)

About your writing, it sounds like you craft your writing like a renaissance painter. One of the beauties of any art is that there is no wrong way to do it. The process is just as important as the result, to the artist, and the viewer always brings there own paradigm to the interpretation. Yes, I think we all want to finish things and begin the road to publication, but every minute I spend typing, thinking, discussing and editing is pure joy to me. It's the process that has the most meaning to me. I also find that in fine art. I silkscreen and draw, and it is the time I spend in the midst of that process, covered in ink, charcoal, conte and chalk, that I love best. The only wrong way to do it is the way that makes me uncomfortable, that makes the time spent seem an effort rather than pleasure.

Why don't you post parts of your book? There's no reason the sequences you've described won't work, but I couldn't give you feedback on a description any more than I could give a response on an unseen painting.

Hallee, thanks in advance! About detail, if you think I'm picky here, you should see me with my own work. Especially fight scenes. I actually enact them out with my husband to make sure they work (minus the blood and guts).

'Shadow' is on a low simmering back burner while I work on my short ghost story. It's such a completely different style of writing from 'Shadow'. It's great fun, and I'm eager to get it written. It's written in first person and it's given me a whole other kind of freedom in writing! Thanks Charles! :-) (if you're still around lurking)

Wow, this was going to be quick and short and here I am rambling on.... Going now. Bye.

T.J.

Errr, sorry everybody - don't know how it happened, but there's a GIANT space at the end of my last post.
Whooops. Chalk that one up to lack of attention. I think.

Heather, Presumed Malfunctioning

Hallee, as far as I know there aren't any archives for the workbook except the round robins. It's an idea we could zip past Jack! Jack, what do you think? Could you create archives for the other workbook sections or would that take up too much K? Oh, and Jack, with your busy schedule, I certainly don't expect your reply immediately! :o>

There is probably a reason that the workbook isn't totally archived. :o)

Well, I must say Hallee, that I use the opposite approach - I edit a whole lot, and can't seem to get past a chapter unless it is fine-tuned and perfect. This has been my system over the past six+ months. It's worked fairly well, but I'm not producing as much volume as I'd like to.
I know how the book ends, I know most of the (rest of the) middle, I just have to make the lead into the next chapter perfect so that everything lines up properly, flows just right, and all loose ends are either continued or tied up. That sounds like I don't leave the reader too excited about the next chapter, but I purposely leave things hanging a little (or a lot) at the close of a chapter. I have the mystery before me, and know how it unfolds.

Each word is exactly the one I want, to express what I am trying, as a whole novel, to say. I suppose I work well this way, if it weren't that I think it too slow an approach. However, I have tried doing things the other way and find that I can't keep moving on so quickly because I simply end up erasing a lot of writing that doesn't fit just so.

I guess it is the philosohpy of minimalism. Economy of words. Something like that. Although, at times, I think my description is a little windy still.

Each of my chapters is two to three times as long as the ones you have posted in the workbook (I can't think of the title you gave your novel about Anna... Was there one and I just forgot it?) That is something I didn't plan, it is just where the chapter break made sense to me. Using chapter 1 and 2 as my precedents, my following chapters are approximately the same length. I don't hold myself to writing them all that length. There might be a few shorties in there too.
At the present time, I have approximately 33,900 words contained in 4 chapters. So, that's just nearing the half-way mark. Some novels are as short as 40,000 words, but I had a feeling before I started this one would be more along the lines of 90K. Just something I well, knew.

I've a question about time, in a novel. If there are three or four days that hold a jumbled myriad of events - life-changing cataclysmic events, that is - would it drag the book to write about most of the opening events in detail? Then there will be a speeding up of time towards the end - with some further development in the middle of course. Does that sound as though it will be too slow and then too fast? I haven't got it written in stone...

My protagonist will have to heal physically and mentally during the latter part of the book. So this is why I intend to allot her quite a bit of time.
In the opening chapters of the book there are events that transpire that had to be developed indepth. The middle of the book sees a lot more action and circumstances needing much more indepth writing. But the last quarter will be sped up. I don't think it necessary to go day by day into her healing process - but just delve into the major turning points and give a sense of how long it is taking her to actually heal. (She will think several times that she is ready to face the world again, only to find that she cannot)...
I will pay attention to details and give my all to creating a sense that the book isn't just whipped up into one happy ending in five paragraphs. Her growth and realizations are important components. I don't want to zip them past the reader and then say 'done!'.
That would be cheating.

So, Tina, my dear, does that sound like I will incorporate enough details for your fine senses?

Give me any and all of your thoughts, my friends!
I know it's hard to give a true opinion without reading my novel, but could you please try?

Thank you... prematurely.

Glad to hear your daughter has completely recovered, Hallee.

Christi, my thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. Remember the strength you have within you, and remember that Sandi has chosen her time to leave. Something from Fried Green Tomatoes hits me now - about Ruth. It was said that, 'Ruth was a lady, and a lady always knows when to leave.'
Sandi is a fine, fine lady. With you by her side, I'm sure she will have the most soothing transition at her chosen moment to depart. What more can one ask for? Loved ones around when you go, and loved ones around you when you arrive.

Blessings to all of you.


Well, good morning to all, and a happy, prosperous Monday.

Is there such a thing? Hallee, you've spurred us all on! Thank you!

Heather, P.M.

Plucky Medusa

Happy Monday morning everyone! I intended to come on yesterday and wish everyone who's a dad Happy Father's Day, but by the time that church got out and lunch was consumed and my daughter was napping (she's completely recovered now), I was in the mood to write. So, I nearly finished a chapter and wrote two synopses (yuck...no...double yuck). I now have the full synopsis for my trilogy...now if I could only make myself sit down and edit the stupid things, I might actually get it submitted. Then the day had gone by and it was time for the Father's Day meal, and before I knew it, bedtime. The whole day just flew by. So, a belated Happy Father's Day to all to whom it's intended.

I've posted chapter 5. Tina - it's full of action and I know you're picky about that. Please, let me know (which I know you will) if it's hard to follow. I have a really hard time writing action, but this chapter came so easily to me, almost too easily, so I worry I may have written it too fast.

CANDICE: I saw your new post, but I don't have time to read it right now. When I finish this I need to write. I'll try to get to it sometime later today.

TINA: I'm almost through reading yours. Like I said, the weekend just flew by. I'm excited about it, though, and will post a crit for you this morning, at some point. Oh, and send us the rain! Even with the normal Florida afternoon thunderstorms beginning, we're still in water conservation mode and the fireworks have still been cancelled.

HEATHER: If I had the guts, and didn't have such a tight budget, I would quit my day job. But, my husband and I agree that unless I get three books published, I shall keep on working. I want nothing more than to write full time. Hopefully, the timing will be all right, though. Two more years and my daughter starts school. If I get off my rear and work on securing an agent, perhaps by that time I'll at least have some sort of ball rolling and a definite plan. (Two years - seems like such a long time, but I've been writing for 18 months and here I still sit, two hours before I have to leave for my day job!)

JACK: I know you're working on revamping the workbook. But, in case you don't do that the way you plan, a suggestion. Perhaps a link from the critique section to the posting section?

CHRISTI: My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family.

GOODWEED: Good lord! I almost thought your story was a ghost story (hahaha). I kept expecting the daughter to see the dad and run screaming because he was dead or something. A lesson learned, albeit a very hard lesson. I remember that the day we brought my daughter home from the hospital, the pilot light blew out in our heater, and we had to relight it. We lived in a manufactured home, and the whole setup was just off the kitchen. I was terrified the entire time my husband was messing with it, and if it hadn't been 35 degrees outside (we're talking about Florida in March - fluke thing) I'd have taken her out and waited.

And now, a general question for all. I have been posting this manuscript chapter by chapter; however, it is a romance story and there are, well, love scenes. I would never want to offend anyone, or post something I shouldn't post, or break any rules, etc. So, before I get to that point, I am curious as to whether or not I should post those scenes, or just let that slide and get back to the story. I've looked back, but can find nothing to compare it to now, and unless I'm missing something, I can't find any archives in the workbook.

Just spent some time in the workbook and I read some really good work!

Candice, I have posted a crit for you. Please remember that I intended it to be constructive, and that in dissecting things, I was paying close attention to what you wrote.

As a whole, I really enjoyed your writing!

(No soothsaying, not at all)

Marinasun, very intriguing. Posted a little crit for you as well, although it might be more along the lines of what we consider 'comments' rather than an indepth critique.

I am bumbling along here, folks.

Where is everybody?

I think I need to eat. Getting shaky.

My thoughts get very confused if my sugar gets too low.
Gotta go.

Heather, P.M.
(Pancreas Malfunctioning)

:o/

Wow is quiet in here today!
I can hear my own echo.

Hallee, I posted that crit I promised.

Heather, I've put in my request to have the rain transfered to you. My seeds 'n things are plenty wet. Of course, I haven't even finished planting stuff because it's been raining and I'm not fond of gardening in the rain.
I like Zinnia's too, but right now my Clematis is blooming and they are my favourite. I could fill my whole yard with Clematis if I had space.

Supper's ready, gonna go!
T.J.

P.P.S. Tina - I'll take your rain!
I love rain. Love walking in it, playing in it, sitting on the porch and relaxing with it all around. Unless, of course, there's lightening, and then I sit inside.


If you send me your rain, I won't have to keep watering those 2400 Zinnia seeds I've sown. Yes, your eyes are seeing correctly. 2400 Zinnia seeds. That's a lot of Zinnias. Instead of the House of Parliament, I'll be living in the House of Zinnias. Zinnia Heaven.
SIGH.

I think I like the word Zinnia. Zinnia oh Zinnia, how I like that Zinnia. Zinnias abound, I see them all around,
And I think it's up to infinity, the sheer volume of these Zinni -
as.

Anyway, goodnight!
I might lurk awhile, seeing that I have some zesty energy to spare tonight.

Heather, P.M.

Hello, there, my ministers and writerly friends.
(Writerly, for writers, as in Painterly for painters)
[It's a technique]

I realized today that I am not made for conventional jobs.
I thought this was well understood before, but perhaps the realization was too understated for my mind to get its' talons around. Now it is no longer something I can ignore. I am too weary of the brainless punching of the clock, the slag pile of mass consumerism and the catering of the hoard that must go with it; the endless labour that just gets erased the next day and must be done all over again. Not to forget the thanklessness of it all. I am not made for such things. I know my place is to weave stories for the mind. Stories that perhaps become the only escape from said slag pile, for employees and hard workers any and everywhere.

I do not look upon everyday work as needless, yet I know that it is not my perfect fit. There is another hard job that I am called to.
My place is to lift the weary head, to spread the tablecloth of life's mysteries and loveliness out as though a smorgasbord; and feed minds with care and warmth. (Or if it be horror, then I spread out a goulish goulash - sorry, terrible pun)
With every page I sweat and spend my fire upon, my dream comes a little closer to being a reality.

I was born to write. I live to write. I love it with a passion so firey and deep, it could be likened to something infernal. But it isn't. I haven't found the right word - but someday I will.

So keep that in your hearts and minds, dear writers, for you have taken up this vehement Quest as I have.
You ride with me on steeds, fast unto the lands of imagination, wherein we are unleashed. May the swords we have armed ourselves with cut through the thick vines that bind, may we be strong enough to slash obstacles that may stand in our way. For our swords are the pens and keys, our native lands mapped on the paper to which we run to each chance we get.

Thanks for listening (reading)
and may the muse impart every inspiration you ask of her.

Thank you, Americo, for your report. There's nothing better than reading a report written by an enthusiast; for had you not enjoyed the sport you write of, I would be sleeping.

As you can see I am wide awake!

I don't know why this realization has me misty-eyed. Maybe it's because I have finally given myself permission to be a writer, no guilt. No guilt for not being right for regular working hours. No remorse for not liking my poorly paying 'job'. Nothing hovering over my head that peeps to me at odd hours, 'just keep your chin up and do this'. But without love? Love for the job? That is like marrying for nothing more than money or convenience. Not very much money, either.
I will not hang up my nametag just yet (still need a little flow of money, I admit) but I know that when I do, there will be no black clouds on the horizon.

I need to do what I love. Everything else bores me stupid.
I need to use my mind and imagination or it will atrophy!
But also, for now, I need to work where I work because I am actually learning more about people, and I need that. If I holed myself up completely, I would be a veritable hermit and I must stay realistic when writing my characters, especially for this novel. So I can see that right now, I need to hang on. I really need strength for it though. I thought I was going to have to run screaming from the building today. I am a lowly cashier.

I know there is meaning to exactly where I am - for that matter, when I am - and I must incorporate those lessons, and learn whatever it is I need to learn. There is a reason for everything.


Happy Father's Day, to all who are fathers.

Blessings to all,

sayonara!

Heather, P.M.

P.S. Can the Prime Minister please make more than minimum wage? It's not so laughable to hold office if the salary at least semi-accurately reflects the effort.
Thanks!

Candice, I left you a crit in the workbook.

Everyone who wants rain, come here and take it away! Free to all takers! I want summer! Aaagghhhhhhh!:-[

T.J.

Ms Prime-Minister,

Another beautiful poem has been produced in the Euro Championship by the Portuguese soccer team, when, in a tough match against Rumania yesterday, they scored in the last minute. "These people are indecent, they make love with a foot ball in front of millions of spectators," a BBC commentator said. In fact Figo, Rui Costa, João Pinto and their play-mates should be arrested, before they make a baby on the pitch.

Not a poem but rather a spine-chilling ghost-story was the match England vs. Germany. The Englanders gave up their old "shoot into the clouds" style and adopted the Portuguese artistic way of making music with a ball. Result: after 34 years without a serious win over the sage, boring Germans, they won 1-0. My heart rejoyced, Ms. Prime-Minister: the Englanders have now a new lease of life and, with some luck, a chance of meeting the Portuguese again — hopefully in the Finals— and be turned into mince meat again.

Yours respectfully,
Americo, Minister of Sports and Games.

Hi!

Just found it! Disregard previous post. What an idiot!

In Jack's e-mail there was a link to the right place. Have tucked it deep down into my pocket.

I can now rest. I'm lounging in the corner of my cage and nibbling on a raw steak.

; )
marinasun

Help!

How do I get into the short story workbook? I click on the link for the workbook, and it takes me to a page that only has the submission form for getting your password and a link to the archives. Do I have to get a password each time?! I really want to get in there...

I'm pacing back and forth like a caged lion...

Thanks,
marinasun

Hello all
Very tired... must go to work in the morning...I am not a morning person...was born a night hawk...well, alright, a bear as well... like to hibernate...got ten pages of writing done last night...sorry I couldn't visit...Christi, my prayers are with you.

As you can see, I am running out of st--

Boo!

Americo, Jon, Pussy - Hello to all of you. I know why the lot of you are not around today. You are having a party to celebrate the hearth pounding win that Portugal had today!

Wow, wow and wow! The dying seconds, the final chance. A free kick and YES! Portugal takes the match with a second to spare! What a game! I was excited and I'm not even Portuguese. I can only think that Americo, Jon and Pussy must all be dancing. Pussy is likely trying to gain the attention of some yummy soccer hero... You go kitty!

Jon - Don't worry, I'm sure it will only be a passing fancy.

Americo - Hope you will be able to get back on the net soon. You are missed.

Pussy - Have you made any cakes? I still remember the last one you let me try... It was dreamy.

TO ALL THE NEW FACES - Hi, nice to meet yah.

Take care all,

Rachel

The Misadvendures of a Do-It-Yourselfer

Author: G.W. North

Jim walked the dark stairway into his dry but dusty basement, sure of his abilities. He made his way straight to the circuit breaker box and tuned off the power to his high efficiancy gas furnace.

"What's wrong with this thing?" he said quietly to himself as he removed the sevice panel.

He looked over the wires and checked the various connectors to insure everything was snugly in place. Again using his wooden handled screwdriver, he removed the combustion box cover. H took a small flashlight from his pocket, turned it on, and peered into the unit's dark recesses. Everything looked ok.

Jim stood, returned to the circuit panel, and actuated the circuit breaker. A squirrel cage fan began to hum, blowing fresh air around the firebox. After waiting a moment, he heard a relay click and the sound of gas hissing into the combustion box. He watched for an ignition spark which never came.

He said to himself "Maybe I can use a long match and manually ignite the gas."

Jim went upstairs, after again turning off the circuit breaker, to get a couple of long kitchen matches. He returned to the basement and re-energized the furnace power. He waited for the gas to cyle on once more, matches in hand, ready to be lit. The relay clicked and Jim lit a match. He placed the flaming end into the fire box and was instantaneously asaulted by a burst of flame which singed the hair from his mustache, eye lashes, eyebrows, his bangs, and an inch of hair from in front of his right ear. There was no pain. The flame hadn't lasted long enough to damage his skin.

"Wow!" he exclaimed. He got up and turned the furnace power off once more. He turned out the basement lights and returned to his living room. He thought to himself "Man that smells bad."

He knew the stench of burning hair from other situations he had experianced in his youth.

He called to his daughter "Hey bug."

"What, Dad?" came the familiar reply.

"Come here a minute. I want to show you something."

"I'll be right there."

After a moment, she entered the living room saying "What's that awful smell? Is that the dog?"

Jim replied "No. It's my hair."

Bug moved close and inpected her father's head. "What'd you do?"

"I tried to light the furnace with a match. Look at my eyelashes and eyebrows."

"Moms gonna lecture you about this."

He replied "Mom's not going to know about this."

"I think you'd better tell her."

"She'll notice it soon enough."

"What, are you afraid of a scolding?"

"Listen little girl. It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done, but the house is still standing and I didn't lose much hair. So just keep quiet. I only showed you so you would know not to do such a thing if you ever have a broken furnace."

"Well I think you're going to have to get your hair cut."

"Naw. I think I'll leave it as a momento to remind me not to try that again."




The above story is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the foolish (sheepish red faced look comes upon the author). Please be careful whenever survicing any flamable gas appliances, liquid fuels, etc. The flame front from less than 2 seconds worth of gas filling the fire box was enough to wake me up. Except for the extroardinary reflexes I was blessed with, I could have damaged my eyes with such a stunt. It's just not worth the risk.

Anyone who wants to build a story out of this real life experiance which happend less than half an hour ago, feel free to write. Hopefully, someone else won't have to go walking around with the smell of burnt hair, or worse.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
The

Hullo everyone!

Litter,
Thanks!

Teekay,
I think that your 'walls down' talk was cool, and if that woman was too jaded to take it for what it was, don't sweat it. Those kinds of conversations can be so illuminating--you always learn something new about yourself and the person you're talking to. I have these convos with my Hubby, Mum and Sis usually--sometimes with my friends, and hadn't noticed that they coincided with my writing. But you got me to notice that I am much more open to new ideas when I'm deep into my writing. It lasts for days sometimes. Thanks for pointing it out!

Jack,
Good luck on the surgery of the workbook. You are a great doctor, with deft hand-eye coordination, and I'm sure it will all go well.
Those wet suits DO look hot! Just thinking of having one on in our 110 degree heat puts me into a sweat. I need a glass of lemonade now.

Mary,
Ewwww, creeeepy! You should use the motuary across the street for a ghost story. It is quite vivid--something I'm not likely to forget soon.

Hallee,
I hope your daughter AND you are feeling better. Oh the anguish of a mother when her cubs aren't feeling well. Made me sniffle a little--whoops, here I go again. *sniffle*
Upon further reading, I see that everyone is up to snuff again. Hooray!

Looks like I'm missing out on much great writing at the workbook. This week was a busy affair and I have just now gotten caught up on the posts. I hope I have time to check out all the new writing sometime this weekend.

My Mother-in-law's time is becoming short. We may only have a week longer to spend with her, so if I'm remiss in my time here, know that I'm thinking of you all. Love to all, especially you who I didn't get the time to respond to. :)

Christi

Hallee: Thanks - very helpfu. Just what I needed. I have a problem deciding what to write or not - first person or omnipotent voice. Just can't play God - been a mom too long.

Tina: whenever - thanks for reading - prior to doing so.

MARINASUN & CANDICE: I've left you notes in the critique sections. (Though, marinasun, I spelled your name wrong...sorry :( )

TINA: I know exactly where you're coming from.

And now, I shall take my bows for properly filling out the form to post my post. (Geesh)

Hello Candice! I'll be happy to read your post... after work. Welcome.

Ditto to Marinasun. Sometimes work gets in the way of life. Actually, work ALWAYS gets in the way of life.
So many things I'd rather be doing....

T.J.

I meant - TALK about needing to check for corrections.

I guess 3 am is too late to stay up writing - at least for tonight - this morning.

First I want to say I am not sure about this writing stuff and I need some critique. So I put what I have - Chap 1 - of a novel - romance? - for anyone to take a shot.
Please be constructive and tell me to dump the idea of writing if thats what you see - do I sound like I have an inferiority complex? Not generally, as my family will attest, but this is . . . as you all know . . . personal.
Oh, yeah, I put the wrong e-mail on the workbook page, too. The correct one is here.

Take about needing to read for corrections...

Woops - that webpage address of mine should be what is above.

I have to proofread these things!

marinasun

Hi everyone,

I just posted something in the short story workbook - an unfinished piece, but I hoped it would get some of your creative juices flowing.

HOWARD: I can't find any posts of yours. Is there a back issue section I'm not aware of?

Thanks everyone,
marinasun

My uncle Jim went to Ireland to do some personal geneological research. While there he interviewed local old-timers, rubbed cemetary stones, and sampled local brew.

One evening after more brew than research, he headed through the cemetary as a shortcut to the hotel. He fell in an open hole, apparently dug for a funeral tomorrow. Too drunk to figure out how to get out of the muddy thing, he resigned himself to wait until the morning and the embarrasment of asking for help. He curled up and went to sleep. Some time later he heard a thud and groan, came immediately awake and saw another drunk standing to look up at the rim of the hole. The fellow clutched at the soggy ground just overhead, it gave way and he slid back. The fellow jumped, slipped, and slid. Uncle Jim thought he'd save the man the trouble, rose to go over, put a hand on his shoulder, and said, "You can't get ou . . . He did!"

And, I did it again. (Good going, Hallee) Unless someone posted since me, the anonymous post below is from me. ::sigh::

G'night all
Hallee

GOOD EVENING ALL. My daughter is better. Still a little touch on the feverish side - but so much better. And I'm tired - hahaha - no sleep yet. I had to work today while my husband got to stay home and play nursemaid all day. I think the whole family is going to retire very early tonight. :)

HEATHER: I shall have to agree with you on Mr. Kilmer. YUM By far my favorite. In cosntruction - PM stands for project manager. Seems fitting for the ghost stories.

JACK: Everything you talked about with the diving sounds absolutely facinating. Good luck with it.

HOWARD: As the sister of an older brother...shame on you (hahaha) - of course, I'm sure I tormented him as much as he tormented me. In our late pre-teen and very early teen years, our dad was a Ranger Instructor out in the swamp in Eglin Air Force Base. WAY out in the swamp - 17 miles to a main road. We had so much fun playing out there in the dark - even played a game called Ghost in the Graveyard. Your story brought back so many memories.

TINA: Your note in the critique page has left me with a warm glow and the urge to write even faster - to get more books done. It is exactly the goal I want to accomplish - leave the reader wanting to go on to the next chapter until they've read the whole book. And also to maybe reform some who may think they wouldn't enjoy a romance. :)

MARY: With your settings...it would be so easy to write horror stories. The inspirations would be all around you - from the inscriptions on the stones to imaginings of the late nights in the mortuary ::shudder::.

And now, I'm off to write for the first time since yesterday morning. The story is coming to a head, the action is growing to a crescendo, and our hero and heroine have still to confess their love for one another. Happy Friday to you all.

HEATHER -- (PerMissable) do you have to be married to be a marriage counselor? Addicted to be an addictions counselor? I think it helps the process to be able to say "Yeah, I've been there." But, on the whole, editing is like counseling in that it is a whole different mind-set from the person you deal with on the other side. I was a journalist/photog in the early 70's and found that having learned the craft I could teach it (edit the works of beginners). Some things were(are) easier to spot in the writing of another. Spelling is an easy exampl;e, when I read my stuff I found myself reading what I knew _should be_ there rather than what was. Continuity involves a similar mental bridge; it was not always clear to me that a connection was not made.

In those days when I was young and muscular and full of flamable liquid, I felt as though I had something to say. Wrote, gave poetry readings and made a local name for myself. I no longer have the same ego. (I haven't had a drink of booze since '80 or '81. I am so dry I'm a fire hazard).

The drive to write lessened, but I still couldn't help twirling a pencil over what I read. Along the way I got two degrees in English and a lot of practice at critique. In some ways I think the Masters in English moved me further from writing than anything I've before or since.

James Fenimore Cooper wrote his first novel after reading a published dud that made him think "I can do better than that." I have been looking at themestream stuff that gives me the same feeling. I think it's time to go to General Nutrition Center, get energy drink, and write again.

Howard - You missed me! Thanx:D

Americo - I noticed (smiles). I even left yah a couple of notes here.

Take care all,

Rachel

Mary - When I was the Chief of Police for the City of Bowman ND, we lived one house away from the big black house on the corner, that was the funeral home. Shortly after we moved into our home, the undertaker sold out, and the new fellow that took over had a couple of kids the same age as ours. It didn't take long before our kids became acquainted, and began playing together. This of course led to the adults meeting and becoming good friends. After several invites back and forth, we became comfortable being in the main house, which was where the new undertaker and his family lived, and our kids became very comfortable playing hide and seek down in the basement amongst the coffin displays. They did however stay away from the prep room. Well the undertaker didn't know many others in the community, and when he needed help loading a coffin, or moving a body, he often called on me. Now this never bothered me much, unless of course it was a friend who was in the prep room. One day, while I was helping him prep the body of on very over-weight lady, who had broken the lift straps, and ended up on the floor, my wife decided she needed the checkbook which happen to be in my back pocket. She knew where I was, as she was home when the neighbor called, so came over and found us in the basement. We had just got the lady up on the prep table, when she walked in. As I turned and began talking with her, the undertaker hit the floor peddle which elevated the top portion of the table, and raised the dead person into a sitting position. My wife, not familiar with the procedure, turned ash white, turned and ran from the room. Well the undertaker and I had quite a laugh over this, and my wife staunchly refused to ever go into the prep-room again, even after I explained what happened.

Wait -- did you mean the post below about living near the cemetary? It looked so familiar that I just took it for granted! What I mean is, when I was younger (much younger) we lived next door to a cemetary also. Real quiet neighbors, if I remember correctly. Once in a while our well water would get a funny taste to it, but I don't remember anything real scarey happening. Except for when old uncle Lloyd took a short cut one night, and stepped in something that moaned, and he dropped his jug, and ran right into the iron mesh gate. Strained himself pretty badly.
howard

MARY -- Thud? What thud? I didn't hear any thud! Where's the thud?
Thorry, I thuddenly got carried away... mutht have thtumbled over thome thtuff on the thtairth. Wath exthpecting a thtory about things that go thump in the night and waketh from a thound thleep.
THLAP!
There -- that's better! WOW ! now my tongue feels like I had a shot of novocaine!

Anyway, where's the one that went plop? (I refuse to start in on th*d again!) People were looking at me like I wath thome thort of thtrange thailor. Errgg!

I like ghost stories too, and have a couple all sssset to gho!

ssssso long!
:-}) <===(smiley face with handlebar moustache)
howard

P.S. I have no idea whether or not I just said the dumbest thing on Earth...
Don't you have to be a writer first to be an editor?

I actually don't know.

I know you have to write something first in order to edit it! Ha ha ha ha ha :oD


H, P.M.

Teekay, my sweet friend,
there is no need for guilt at all. In fact, I haven't read your second crit of 'Whisperings'. I will do that after I have finished here.

You have not broken the sacred writer's code of ethics, if there is one. I think writers are about the only ones who can truly give a critique that will mean something to another writer. If that was your first impression of my story, then that was your first impression, that's all.
And first impressions are what I need to know about - some readers do not take a fine eye and dissect the writing. Some reader will only read it once, and so it's important to know what first reads catch in a short story!
Editors who are also writers I find are the most accurate and helpful to critique work - and we are all writers and our own editors here.

I wouldn't still be around if I couldn't handle and put to use critiques, no matter the result. I don't want critiques to be as water from a duck's back. I dissect and analyze and use the crit to improve my work!

I think I still could use some expansion on what the characters look like in my latest ss. You were right on that, Teekay! It's pretty hard to get a good idea of what a character looks like and how they act if I neglected to write even an iota of description on them!
If, relying on our residual image of Native Peoples, we create the characters in our minds, could it not leave a lot of room for stereotypes? Yes. Point in fact, if we don't describe and round out characters, no matter how short the story, we are forcing the actions and words to carry the character. Now, this isn't wrong, necessarily, but when talking to someone in person, you do get a sense of who they are by appearance. How can you imagine a character's actions, if you have no idea what they look like? Can they tap their foot, and be real in our minds if we don't know whether it's a long, slender foot in a sandal, or a short stubby foot squeezed into a pump that's too small? Sometimes those little things are the life of the character.
If that is missing, it leaves a bit of a hole in the story. It also means the action and dialogue have to make up for the lack of imagery about the character.

Now what I want to know is if 'Whisperings' carries itself without the added imagery. Does it? I'll have to give it a read and see.

Heather, P.M.

(Poseidon Maniac)

Nice to see my ghost story went over with a nice big thud! :-)

TEEKAY: Cheer up girlie, I'm sure Heather will forgive ya.

GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY ELSE!!!

I'm having Internet problems and a lot of trouble to get or send messages of any kind. They say it's because of the Sun, which seems to be exploding all over the place.

Just in case someone wondered about my whereabouts.

Well, it's very late and I'm very exhausted. Dealing with stomach flu all day and writing a chapter during down times would be bad enough, but then her fever spiked to 103.6. I did get it to come down, with Tylenol (pretned there's a trademark symbol there - I'm tired) and a sponge bath (all the while she's talking about birds flying on her ceiling - ~sniffle~), but I'm afraid to sleep now. The medcine will wear off soon, and I worry the temp will spike back up. I tried to read new stories posted, but my head is too tired, so I'll do it probably this weekend. Sorry, Tina - I was so looking forward to a new post from you, too.

(((((TEEKAY)))) - you just looked like you needed a hug.

Since I'm too fried to be intelligent and respond even to any notebook posts, I think I'll just start researching my next book. That's mindless to just sit and save files.

Bye, all.
Hallee

MARY: Sorry. Can't add on to this story at this time as I am too depressed. I am going to eat.

Back Again
still feeling incredibly guilty about HEATHER's crit. I feel as though I have breeched some type of writer's ethics code.
I am aware of the blood, sweat and tears that goes into a piece of writing and I am totally pissed off with myself to have not given HEATHER's work the attention it deserved.
In future, if I don't have the time to critique I am simply not going to do it. It isn't fair to the author and a half hearted crticism can do a lot more harm than good.
Once again, I am really, really sorry HEATHER.

GOODWEED:

Your posts about cemeteries were very interesting. Our back yard butts up to an old, five foot, wrought iron fence. On the other side of that fence is an ancient cemetery. We just bought this house two years ago, and the fact that the cemetery was there never entered my mind. The stones are all white, leaning, and barely readable. The moon comes up over them at night and I must admit it is quite spooky. When my friends came over to see the place for the first time, they couldn't believe that the cemetery didn't bother us. What bothers me more than the cemetery is the mortuary/funeral home across the street. You can tell what nights they are embalming, because all the lights are on in the basement. We live in a very small town, so I generally know who it is, which makes it even more weird. Sometimes I feel like there is a story there, but I haven't been able to 'dig' it up yet.

MARINASUN:

Glad you decided to stick around.

HEATHER AND JERRY:
I think I forgot to cast my vote for ghost stories. I think it is too late now, but I vote yes anyways.

BTW, Heather, thanks for the immunity. I probably don't really need it, I just wanted an excuse to write a sentence with a bunch of PM's in it!

I don't know if anybody needs warming up on a ghost story to get you in the mindset, but we could all try something we used to do around the campfire. I will start a ghost story (usually it was pretty tacky) with a few sentences, and the next person who wants to , can add a few more until we have a story. I will start:

Gina knew the sound. That scraping metal on metal that sliced her eardrums like a Ginzu.(warned you it was tacky!) She froze to the spot, waiting for the smell that would tell her which way to run.

HEATHER: Huge smacks up the side of the head for me!!! I have posted an entirely new critique. Please totally ignore the first one. It was worth absolutely ZERO.

Afternoon All Y'all,

HALLEE: I was definitely NOT making fun off you - deliberately anyway. I really have used your name (which I love) in my story. The story is rather different from what I gave the impression of though. I'm really glad you laughed though, and I hope your daughter is well soon.

HOWARD: Yes please. Thankyou.

HEATHER: She said she was going to ring next week about going for a coffee. It'll be interesting to see if she still does. hee hee.

JACK: That sounds like a great idea. Good luck.

GOODWEED: I'm sure an older woman could run just as fast - or die trying. heh heh
You are going to have to leave your novel for just a short while, now that you have given us such a tantalising taste treat.

My son is at his grand Mothers today, so , of course I have every intention of knuckling down and working on my novel. Wow. I love the sound of that. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel.Working on my novel. Working on my novel. Working on my novel.


But first, to do a bit of web surfing BWAH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Hello!

Just finished posting my re-write in the workbook. I had to do it in two chunks. I'm happier with it now! I'm sure further refinements will follow.

Everyone! Go read Hallee and Clayton and Heather and Jerry and Rachel and Teekay and everyone else I probably forgot! There's some great stuff happening there! Leave your comments so they at least know you read it!

There, now that I've kicked some butt....

Heather, PM (Pesky Mosquito, Pleasant Monday, Printed Material)
Pluto has one moon, Charon. 'Course, Pluto is smaller than our moon, and Charon is tinier than Pluto, something like 1200 km wide.

Jack, I'm green with envy and so glad you've gotten down there! I LOVE NUDIBRENKS! (Don't know if I spelled that right but don't feel like looking it up.) You should have an easier time with your bouyency once you use your dry suit.

Goodweed, I hope your sister got even. My big brother didn't try and scare me, just gross me out. He once told me (young, impressionable six year old) that the long white things in chili were worms not onions, and I didn't eat another onion until I was 13!

Hey, are the ghost stories official yet? Now that I'm thinking about mine I'm getting itchy to attack it.

Gonna go write now. Or edit some more.
T.J.

Don't mind my grammar - it's slacking off at the moment.

(Litter, YOUR rant... so pardon my lack of grammaquette)

me

Goodweed, good to hear from you!
I just might have to add something to 'Darkness Descends'.
It will be different than what I'm currently writing (novel wise, that is). A nice vacation for my imagination.

Jack, the seastars are my favourite, and I am jealous! Take a photo of the one with the most arms. I have a great pic of one seastar that has almost 20 digits and is purple-blue on top and red underneath. But I didn't get to be the one to photograph it!
Someday I'll take the diving course and join the wonder that is the sea for a while. I could write for hours on the extreme joy I feel being around and in the water - but especially the ocean. It's like a foreign country to me, truly fascinating and incredible. A world of its' own.

Night all, and to all an a-musing eve.
Heather, P.M.

Prison Mate?
Planetary Motion
Pluto's Moon
(does it have one? Or is it just like one?)
Prudish Mistress
Pre Monition (joke)

Anyway, there are seemingly endless things that fit a two digit anagram.

Of course. **slaps face**
**turns face to slap other side**

(Howard, laughed so hard when you said that your keyboard only has one 'H'!)

Litter, you're rant was right on the money (ulp!)
I've been meaning to check out the site and will keep that to the forefront of my frontal lobe.

:o> H**

That should have been spelled - La Jolla Cove - pronounced La Hoya.

Seeeeya; Goodweed of the North

Jack;

SCUBA - Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus! What an acronym. Which certification are you going for, Naui or Paddi? I missed my final certification dive as I was in the U.S. Navy and had duty that day. I COULDN'T GET OFF THE BASE!!! Two hundred dollars swirled down the toilet. I love diving off of San Diego. The only problem I experianced was sea sickness. We usually got to our diving site by catching a rip tide and snorkeling out. Needless to say, the water near shore was murky from wave action, rendering sight non-existant. Waves always crested over the snorkles, treating us to frequent swallows of sea water (YUK!!!(And don't tell me, I know. One exclamation point has as much power as three. And multiple exclamation points are a sure sign of the amature but at least my nested paretheses are correct.))

All in all, after inflating my BC, floating on the top, and vomiting on the water surface, my stomach settled down and I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the dives. The colors and life in Lajoya Cove are incredible. The fish (including small sharks and dogfish) off of Pacific Beach are amazing. Would that I could go back in time and body to 1977 and an 80 cubic foot aluminum tank with 3000 pounds of air, and take my wife along, that would be close to heaven (but everyone knows that heaven is full of great trout streams, beautiful fly rods, and mosquitoes that don't bite).

Enjoy yourself in the water. But remember to treat the blue lady with respect and caution. I personally knew two good men who drowned in diving accidents, one from hypothermia in waters coming out of Lake Superior into the St. Mary's River (the river on which I was raised, max temp - 67' F.), and the other from asphyxiation when he ran out of air after getting tangled in ocean veggies. Take care freind and enjoy.

Seeeeya; Goodweed of the North

By the way, "As Darkness Descends" has some otherworldliness in it. Anyone who cares to add to it is welcome.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

Rhoda, Christi, TeeKay;
and all the rest, are here on Gilligan's Isle. Oh, um, how one's mind wanders.

Thanks for the wise words of encouragement. I will indeed take a look at ghost stories. It sounds like fun. I grew up next to a large cemetary, played army in it in the day, picked nightcrawlers in it at night, hunted in the woods behind it, chased parkers out of it, slept in a tree fort in the woods behind it, got chased out for racing motorcycles through the twisting dirt trails with my best freind (the caretaker's son no less), etc. I've seen strange things in the night. On one side of the road, which was a block away from our river-front house (long driveway to shovel in the wintertime), and on the other, a very large river (a mile wide in places and over thirty five feet deep) set the stage for many a frightful night (when I was a lad of but seven years that is). The river produced wonderous fogs which when mixed with the moaning cry of a foghorn, produced an incredible ambience for ghost stories, or scaring your little sister half out of her wits when she was coming home after dark and had to walk that long driveway which was flanked on either side by thick woodland, moohuahahahah (ever seen a 12 year old girl run from things which make spooky sounds and go bump in the night, just out of sight? She was fast!).

Anyway, I think a bunch of creative minds like those found at this site should be able to create a fun story. Did you know that single photon can exist in two places simutaneously? So says quantum mechanics and an experiment or two in Sweden. It has been hypothesized that multiple dimensions exist, with spirits which can see us, react with us. But we are sooooooo limited in our own knowledge and abilities. Hmmmmmmm. And the body is merely an organic machine by which we interface with the physical world. It has no life of its own , except that which is given it by our spirits. And the forces of the universe require that matter organizes itself into forms which can house spirits, or should I say energies, harnessed by the master energy of all energy and matter into humanity. A supreme being? He is that after all now isn't he.

And what spirits, great and small will seek to influence your life for good or evil, subtly or profoundly. Will they come in the night, like a shadow, hiding in shadows, or will they blaze into your life with the power of a whirlwind?
(Hollow, echoing laughter: heheheheheheheheheh!)

Oh, and I am now 100 pages into book three. And, I re-mailed (is that a word?) my first three chapters, synopsis, and cover letter (with prologue) to Tor, today, priority mail! Take that, you worthless spirit who seeks to keep me from being published!

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

Whoa! Can I babble or what!

p.s. I have reduced the Novel Workbook to the latter part of May postings and did a similar cut in the Short Story Workbook. This has reduced things to 150k for the one and 78k for the latter. Let me know if this works for those attempting to post. I am going to hunt up some alternate scripts that may work it so that each story is stored as a separate file and comments are stacked below the story in question. Wish me luck and good writing everyone.

Hallee: in regards to being cold. No, actually I was bordering on roasting inside my wet suit. I was very very anxious to get into that nice cool 52 degree water in Puget Sound. Of course, once I master my buoyancy a little better I will shift to our custom dry suits and then we will not even worry about most any cold. We step into the suits, scrunch our heads and hands through the latex seals and zip up. We can get into the same with jeans and shirt or insulated underwear and be barely damp when we hit, go under and come back out of the water. This all means that we will be able do as one set of divers learning how to ice dive, go down through a hole in the ice in a lake up around Stevens Pass in the Cascades and turn upside down and moonwalk on the underside of the ice. Personally, I am not up for that yet, but I am definitely looking forward to being at the bottom of a Hawaiian bay watching the Manta Rays come in and suspect both Fran and I will be diving two to three times a month or more. Here in the Puget Sound area it is actually desirable to dive during the coldest part of the winter since that is whether there is the least algae and the greatest clarity. If you ever do decide to dive I think you will love it. I am finding more and more than the environment is very natural to me and the sense of wonder watching sunlight glint off schools of fish doing a ballet above me or petting an anemone or surprising a crab that goes scuttling way or picking up a starfish er seastar and holding it in my hand and then setting it back down so it can wiggle its way back into a comfortable spot is all well worth it. My, that is a very nice run on sentence if I do say so myself ;-). Bottom line, this is an avocation that will likely lend itself to some extraordinary pictures, extraordinary stories and some great sources for both non fiction and fiction writing. Take care. I am off to do surgery on the workbook.

Hi All!

Better day, thus far. (I think.) Just back from my 17 year old daughters school prize-giving ceremony - She got 3 awards, so were are all really chuffed (Scot's vernacular for pleased!)

Howard mentioning 'themesetream' reminded me of something I was going to raise as a topic a few days ago, before the miseries set in. I have found a number of really good writers on themestream, a larger number of those with less talent but some promise, and an even bigger group of, what I can only describe as, literary rapists.

It seems that the way to make real money on a site like 'ts' is not to produce really good quality, but to produce lots and lots of anything with a catchy title, which will draw people into reading the articles. I'm busy monitoring (for my own edification) a group of people who are producing, in some cases, between 6 and 10 pieces of 'work' per day, most days of the week.

But this isn't quality stuff - as some wit once said: 'This isn't writing, it is typing, and not very good typing at that.' Some of it is only a moderate paragraph long and there are many serial 'writers' who seem to do nothing but rework extracts from 'Encarta', cookery books, how-to-do-it books, and so forth. One of this group has even advocated that it is okay to republish recipes as long as the person 'puts it in their own words'!!! This is a lot closer to plagiarism than I ever hope to get. (even unintentionally)

Has any one else that has been there found likewise? How do you feel about quantity, rather than quality, possibly 'turning off' the readership so that those who deserve to be seen are penalised along with the plagiarists and volume mongers?

I can't help think that, when themestream reckon they have enough writers of suitable quality, they will bring down the shutters and bounce all the literary rapists… At least I hope so.

Rant over :o) Got to go and write a dozen or so plagiarised paragraphs…

Ciao for now,

Litter

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for your welcomes. I'm happy to be here!

MARY: Thanks for the tip! I did! I live in Des Moines! ; )

TINA: I think your comment in my Guestbook was cut off. Thank you for it. You're right, I should choose another martial art. I didn't realize... And that character, including Dave, are the main characters in a long series of plots I have - and a few more tidbits like that one. She is my favorite female character of mine.

HOWARD: Thank you. Glad I'm not alone there. I'll look at your stories first! ; )

marinasun

Heather - finished reading your fine legend - left you some comments on the critique page - thought it was a very fine story indeed.

Clicked on my tray suite button in my tray, with your name in it, and it said - Pasurage Mead - another to add to your fine collection of PMS (did I say PMS?) I meant PM's I think.

RACHEL! I/we missed you!

HEATER -- (sorry, there's only one H on this keyboard...)
You might luck out and get the same Uncle Sam costume that Lucy Lawless wore in her now famous appearance (I have a video clip of that, if you're interested) at a hockey game, I think. Yes that'd be the one.

ALL -- Jerry mentioned WWW.THEMESTREAM.COM a while back, and I've been looking at it with great interest. Besides articles by Jerry and Litter, I just found an excellent one by Bruce Beckett, called "Six Tips for Writing Better Sex Scenes." I won't copy it here because they do get paid when people read their articles. Go there and check it out! There's also a great one on overcoming writer's block. Heather will enjoy a couple of the suggestions in that one.

back on your heads!
howard

I'm here. Who calls?

Americo - Are you able to receive e-mail yet? Let me know.

Rachel

Heather - tried to read you story last night, but, alas, I had already taken my pain killers, and my head was not working well enough to follow it. Will give it another try this morning. It did look very interesting, I like that type of story. Was having a heck of a time with my ISP last night, tried to leave you a note but our server was down, and didn't come back up till this morning some time.

Jerry

Howard, I'll sing and even dance in an Uncle Sam suit, but I've never seen one at the Costume Palace. Where does one find an Uncle Sam suit?
Can I just wear some stripes?
How about a nice Maple leaf flag? I'll take the stage in it and drop it on the finale, where it will be known that I wear maple leaf boxers and undershirts. Oh, and socks too.
Besides, I was just backup vocals most of the time - wouldn't want to take too much attention away from our lead, wearing the Elizabethan gown and a powdered wig!

Howard, you can inspire leagues of people to sign up for any cause you back. I'm sending you some extra strength!
And a song.

Heather, P.M., and about to venture out into the great green belt of the yard.

Raaaaaaaaaachellllll! Hellllloooooooooo!
?????????????

Teekay, you are not alone. And I think you put your finger right on the reason. When we're being creative, the flow of energy is wide open, and it's a wonder to realize what our minds can open up to. FLOW, baby!

And I've babbled nonstop quite often - even here! ****GASP***

Just thought I'd relieve your concern with whether or notyou need to be committed. That's a galloping NO.

If she never calls you back, well, then don't worry about it. Genius sometimes gets a little lonely.

~~~~~
Tina, yes, you should be congratulated for being so consistent with posting crits. Your dedication to helping others is a song we all need to hear and sing ourselves.

(What's with these flower-pod-words, today? Teekay!?)

I will return to the workbook and check out any new developments, as I didn't get to every section in the last few days. Did visit the poetry page and left a comment or two.

Was it you Hallee, or Tina? Someone asked what inspired "Whisperings". I think it was the thought of GHOST STORIES combined with memories of Val Kilmer.
YUM. Anyone not quite making the connection on those two inspiring my story hasn't seen Thunderheart.

It is one of my very favourites, and not because of Val. But he helps! ***SIGH***

Graham Greene is another favourite actor.

My son is now cuddling my leg, wanting to foray into the great outdoors (mud, garden, sandbox) and so I must be off.
Hallee, I hope your daughter is feeling better! (((HUG)))

Heather, Pre Mortem
Phantom Morals
Plethora of Monikers


Oh, and a note for marinasun: Everything we write doesn't disappear from the notebook, even if it no longer appears on this page - Jack archives the messages and anyone wishing to look back over the past months and years (or last week) may do so by accessing the archives.

You can go back and read how Americo was an instigator from the moment he stepped aboard! (And still we love you, A*)

H**P.M.

HEATER -- I wanna see you sing in an Uncle Sam suit! :-)

HALLEE (and others) Thanks for the encouraging words, notes, hugs, and cards, even! I guess the next best thing would be if I can get others to sign up for the program. I presented the Pheresis program in a college ethics class, and several signed up for that -- maybe I can do the same for the marrow donor program.

MARINASUN -- Welcome to you, too, and I hope you stay and join in the fun. There are some very nice folks here. I don't care much for the graphic stuff either, so you're not alone.

MARK -- Are you saying that Molly's face goes through your mind like smoke through an exhaust fan? Or that it's drawn there? :-) Intriguing -- is that what they term 'minimalist' poetry? That last is a serious question -- I've never seen a real description of minimalist, and I'm wondering. Neat references to the Susquehanna in your other poem too! Flowing like the emotions, yet within boundaries also, like the math. And never the same.

SASQUATCH -- I agree with Mark on the cyclic thing, although I do enjoy it. I've seen the Escher print you described (the hands) and have a copy of it somewhere. That is indeed a sad tale about the old man in the cabin. You are an interesting person, and I know an anthropology student who would love to chat with you.

TEEKAY -- Are you up for a classic Scifi novel? I've got one by Alan Dean Foster, called "Midworld" that I'll send along, if you like.

DISCLAIMER -- Anyone unmentioned is NOT forgotten -- just ran out of time!

howard

TINA: I meant to tell you this morning, then I got sidetracked by everything else I meant to say. I wanted to thank you for the way you take the time to post the critiques. You consistently do it for everyone, and it's work to do that. I wanted to make sure that you know how appreciated it is. Probably not only by just me.

Well, I guess they say be careful what you wish for. I was sitting here this morning wishing that I had some more time to write and get things done today, and my daughter, poor heart, woke up with a stomach bug. :(

So, I've posted the next chapter in the workbook, for those of you interested. Enjoy - or tell me why if you don't. :)
Hallee

OOPS! The post below is from me. I forgot to fill in the top. ::slapping my forehead::
Bye again.

Hey everyone. I've been writing every second I have to spare, so this is just a quickie.

TEEKAY - I can't tell if your making fun of me or not, but it doesn't matter because you're hillarious. I was laughing so loud, my secretary came into my office to see what was up. She didn't understand. I guess it needed some background.

TINA & CLAYTON: At some point, some time today, I'm going to post chapter 4. Right now, though, I'm going back to writing chapter 13. Tina: hahaha - keeping you guessing? My friends who are reading it are mad. They still can't figure out if Mike is doing it, and we're nearing the end. But that's the point, I guess. You don't want the reader to put down the book. Thanks for the notes, by the way. It is incredibly encouraging, when I worried critiques would be quite the opposite.

HOWARD - God bless you for your heart. I can't believe they wouldn't even consider a probable match who was willing to sign a disclaimer. It makes me mad, and makes me determined that when I find a few hours, I'll go do whatever I need to do to get registered to be on the list.

MARK & MARINASUN: Welcome, though I'm still so green it shouldn't come from me.

SASQUATCH: I'm not a big poetry fan, probably because I couldn't write a poem if I tried, but I loved Trees. What a great poem.

JERRY: I read your story & meant to go back and post a note for you, but, alas, I forgot. I laughed - good story. I'll try again to remember to put it on the critique page.

All of you who like editing: ::heavy sigh:: I can't stop writing long enough to edit. Only 2 of my books have been edited, and they haven't been edited thoroughly. I end up reading them, then get caught up reading and forget what I'm supposed to be doing. Then I start writing the next book and they sit next to my computer and collect dust. I think I'm the type of person (i.e., lazy) who is going to end up having to pay for editing services. Of course, that would take getting published, and yet again, there is the laziness issue.

HEATHER: ::a respectful nod to the PM:: (whatever you choose for that to stand for today) - sounds like you were perfect for the job. What fun!

JACK: You looked cold in the pictures. I think I may have lived in Florida for too long now. My heart is in the pacific northwest, or I thought it was until I saw something that reminded me of how cold the coast is there. ::smiles:: How fun to learn to dive. Something I've always wanted to do.

Okay - I intended for this to be a quickie, and here it is, I've been at the computer for almost an hour. It took so long to read and catch up. I must run now. I really want to finish this book, because I've been thinking more and more about the next book I want to write, and I can't wait to start it.

Bye for now.
Hallee

Sorry people are having trouble with the Workbook. I will try to get a little time to put archive things and limit novel and short story workbooks to the last two weeks. I am hoping to get the new script up, but ran into a snag when I discovered that I could not use it in a pass word protected area. I will see what I can come up with. A little tired right now. Check with you tomorrow. Take care.

Just tried to post the revamped opening of my story, but it wouldn't post. Add me to the list of Frustrated Posters. (Posting Misfits?) I'll try again tomorrow. Is the workbook too big or something? Jack? Help!

Oh, I just remembered something from yesterday, which was really quite strange and I wanted to share it with you all to see if it happens to others or if I'm just a wierdo.

It was the middle of the day and the baby was asleep and I was writing this novel I've started and I was just totally engrossed.

Anyhow, the phone rang and there was this woman on the other end whom I'd met once and talked to on the phone a few times.

I found myself just spilling my guts to this woman. Luckily I wasn't a government agent or I would have told her all the top secret stuff.

I didn't tell her anything juicy, coz I don't have anything juicy to tell, but I just found myself blurbling like and idiot. Sort of deep and meaningful and spiritual type of stuff.

And I could tell by her response that she thought I was one. (I wonder if she'll ever call again.) I was beginning to freak myself out.

Anyway, I just couldn't stop myself. I thought about it later and came to the conclusion that writing puts you into a type of meditative state and in such a state,all the walls go down and you are thoroughly open and exposed.

Has anyone else experienced this before?
Next time, the phone is going off the hook and I refuse to answer the door.

Thanks for listening.
Bye.

Hello!

A quick note. I left a crit for Hallee and Clayton in the novel crit page.

Heather, I'd leave you one too but I need time to think about it. What inspired 'Whisperings'?

Sasquatch, I agree with Mark about your cyclic style, but I LOVE it. Life rarely gets straight to the point, and nature is an amazing, wonderful cycle. It's truthful and honest to paint it that way.

Marinasun, get yourself a password and check out the workbook! Lotsa good stuff there. We never see your home address or anything when you go there. I'll go find your site, I know you put a link in here somewhere....

T.J.

Jerry, any old time is the witching hour...

*cackle*

Heather

Jerry, I DID read your stories in the ss workbook - earlier today. I didn't have time to comment, as I was composing my own ss. But I must say, your talent has unveiled itself at high noon! BRAVO!
(By the way, I read all of the shorties you wrote and posted in the WB lately and liked them ALL!)

The 'perfect Woman' sounds like a real bitch!

:o>

Hey Jade, wanna gimme a hand with the next NB mini-project?
We've got to start this ball rollin'! (What ball?) *snicker*

AND I take it that GHOST STORIES TO FRIGHTEN JUST ABOUT ANYBODY** is a GO?

YES, YES, YES
----Hey! Who wrote that?!
wooooo oooo oooooooo

Heather, P.M.
(No, I didn't post the one about 'pretentious mammaries', if that's what you all were wondering.)

Litter, I think I did have you in mind when I mentioned that I knew someone who wanted to BE my bra.
This old underwire contraption would love to retire.
8o)

H**

Mark person i thank for nice words on trees poem. i have seen in an old cabin in the trees a picture of a hand marking a hand but did not know which hand was marking first. it had this escher word you say on it. it belongs to old humans person who was good to me when i was sick. it is his best thing except for the book he reads to me from about the one. i go to see him again but he is cold and still with head resting on this book. i laid him and his book in a safe place to wait. i think he is happy now. he was always like sasquatch alone, but i think he is not alone now. i am sad but happy for him. he is my friend. i hope he remembers me also and i thank him for being kind. i found friends also here. i must go.

Hi All,

MARY: What are you doing girl. You should be asking for a darn raise. Obviously Minister of what it is you do, is a very challenging position and not everybody would be able to do it. I for 1.

LITTER: I agree. That P.M post did have a scent of HEATHER about it.
Hope things get better soon. Thanks too for the info. I'm going to memerize that for next time I want to impress. (It worked on me.)

RHODA: When I was a kid, I used to live in Darwin and every now and then there'd be cyclone warnings. Really freaky stuff but sort of exhilerating as well. Nothing bad happened until the year we moved away though. That was when Cyclone Tracy ravaged the town on Christmas morning of 1974. Heart breaking.

Okay going to look at the WB. About time too.

Heather - I will read yours if you read mine. Posted one a couple of days ago, but nobody seemed to notice. Think it must be all this Post Mortem stuff going around or something.

Anyhow, I am off to the workbook to read your story. Did take quite some time to get down here to make my post, maybe it is the internet itself or something. Maybe it is the witching hour?

Write On.

Jerry

Rachel - I have had some trouble posting as well.

Teekay - Can't help you with the first, but the Hunchback's name is Quasimodo. I know this because this is my favorite book (so far).
Allein

Americo - I received your correspondece. I replied this morning, but am having difficulty in getting my e-mail through to you. I hope that all is well on your end.
Take care you,
Rachel

ALL - Is anyone else having trouble posting on the notebook? ARGH! How frustrating. I can't get my mail sent, I can't post on the notebook. It's enough to get a gal worked into a tissy!

Teekay,

I got your story, and I will be thrilled to read it. I am having a hard time with the battle scene at the end of my book. I am having to write out of sequence. Maybe I should just kill everyone off. Perhaps a large meteor is in order. No, just kidding. Please bear with me. I mean to have the rest of this book out to you before I leave town next week.

I just wrote out my schedule in my date binder until the middle of July. It is truly scary. I thought summer was supposed to be a vacation! I have trips to Tulsa and Louisville in the works. In between there are picnics, church camp, a Carolyn Arends (A Canadian musical artist) concert, Boy Scout camp, ball games in Amarillo, and heaps of other stuff.

Have to run and fill out my son's application for Boy Scout camp. Then I have to pay bills. Ugh. What a day!

We had a neat tornado scare yesterday. We had two warnings within two hours. Nothing bad happened, Praise God, but I did see my first funnel cloud, and it was awesome. It did not appear to be spinning. It just looked like a funnel in the sky. It really scared the kids. Today every kid in Perryton has been hyper. I think it was because of the weather and the sirens yesterday.

Happy writing,

Rhoda

Mary, protection granted.

You have immunity as of this moment, whatever time it is GMT. (Greenwich Mean Time)

I left a short story on the shortie workbook page, if anyone would like another critiquing job. It's titled 'Whisperings'.

Pretentious Mammaries indeed. They preceed me, and announce my arrival in the most annoying tone.

At least they're not stuffed into a Xena, Warrior Princess metal bra. Ouch! What happens when it's really sunny and humid? (I can see the guy at the hardware store, the expression on his face when asked if CLR removes rust stains from nipples!)

Immutability

Smoke to an exhaust fan
Molly's face to my mind

Sasquatch -- familiar with M.C. Escher?

Your poems remind me of his works, you start somewhere, work through some variations or complications and end up back at the beginning.

Either that or it's like twirling on a barstool :)

Anyway you have a positive talent for seeing the cyclic nature of things. Frankly, I tend to appreciate pieces that have a single point; your poems (the two I have seen) seem to have multiple points as they work around the circle. Trees, I think, is a better single statement of "The Great Cycle" even tho it has
-> trees stay in place
-> wind moves things
-> age changes things
-> trees stay in place
Still, I like it better when the writer comes right out and says what his[her] point is.
You read "War and Peace"? Every character in it goes through up and down cycles as the background cycles through War and Peace. The heroes of the story are the ones who believe in some higher power [god, nature, cyclic history]. The villains of the story honor no power outside themselves. I don't know your other stuff, but the two I've seen seem to be working on the right side of the tracks.
Howard copied your poem 'alone' and emailed it to me separately. It was that piece that made me get active here.

TEEKAY -- thanks for the 'scroll down' advice. I found the reference to the idea of keeping notepad and NB open at same time - I could already do that. My problem was that I was writing in the WB pad at the time and did not realize until just now that it is at the bottom of the page I had just read, I could have gone up and looked directly at Heather's poem instead of trusting my memory.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the invite, Mary, but I don't want to put my home address on the internet. (I know it doesn't stay for everyone to see it, but still.) Can I post a story I have, a part of a story, here? And you Mary, or someone else, can send me their story or can post it here, too. Sorry about this, it's okay if I can't.

marinasun

Here is the missing 'n' from below

Mary - TFTLOAAE - Thanks For The List Of Acronyms And Emoticons - Simple! :o)


Mary - TFTLOAAE - Thanks For The List Of Acronyms And Emoticons - Simple! :o)

Howard - The rejection from the Bone Marrow program sucks bigtime. Bureaucracy wins out against health again! Oh, and I don't think it is Heater's (sorry :o) 'tail' that is being tweeked...

Heater - Would the candidate for that particular DD post have my name on it, by any chance? ;o)

Mark and Marinasun - Hi!

Christi - it was good enough for the double posting.

Teekay - William Shakespeare was never a Poet Laureate. The post in the UK used to be a Court appointed one (as in Royal Court) but now it is a government appointed post. Technically, the PL is supposed to record important national and Royal events, in prose and poem, but it is pretty much a status thing now - public acclamation for being 'the best'.

Crappy last few days for me people so that is it for me. Apologies if I've neglected anythig I should have answered.

Ciao for now,

Litter

Is something strange happening here? I got in the NB and saw some recent posts, then a scrambled section. Reloaded, and the NB looks normal again, but those posts are gone.

HEATER -- I think someone is tweaking your tail! Pretentious Mammaries? Woops! :-) Whoever that was is in a Presumptuous Mood!

howard

HI EVERYBODY! Just wanted to check in and see what is going on here. Have a great day!

LITTER: Try as I might, I can't get your acronym. I think the first four letters are Thanks for the laugh? Sorry, but you have me stumped.The minister of translations stands humbled.

HEATHER: Protect Me Prime Minister, so President Maxim won't Pound Me with a Portugese Mashie, Permanently Maiming or Possibly Murdering the Pathetic Minister of translations!(Or worse yet demote me!!)

Hello!

Christi, I'll send that book out PM (Posted Mail) as soon as I go near a post office! I like your idea about one sentence comments, so I'll put in a page for those. I wouldn't mind being on the list for 'Ender's Game'. I've always liked Card's writing, especially his Red Prophet series. Sounds like Ender's Game is even better.

Hi Mark and Marinasun!

Howard, I'm sorry for your news. That you were willing speaks volumes, though. Two of my cousins needed an organ transplant, and one with leukemia needed a marrow donation, so I'm partial to the cause.

It's my day off today and I'm gonna try and get some real writing done. Between hayfever, a cold, and visitors it's been 2 weeks since I seriously sat down and wrote! Aaaahgggggggg!:-< Course, I've been editing the opening scene again. Thanks all for the suggestions! It's getting sharper. When I'm happy with it again I'll repost it.

I'm off to see the wizard....
T.J.

ummm...
Pretentious Mammaries?

(ducking for cover)

Whoops, thought of another:

Para Mecium!

Heh heh.

Mark ~ You are right that my poem sounds like I was a bra!
Funny, I would not have seen that myself.
So, not so many people you've met can chat C++? Or Mensa, for that matter? Well, I'm afraid I'll disappoint with my confession: I do not know C++ or anything but BASIC make that REALLY BASIC! But my older brother has his Masters in Computer Science, and he created the database systems for the Human Genetics Program worldwide for his Masters' Thesis. He has projects on the go in Britain, and here in Canada. He also got married last year so while his wife is back in U of T achieving her own Masters, he is hard at work with computers. My younger brother is an Engineer. He just graduated from U of Michigan. I was a nurse, but finally just slapped myself upside the head one day and admitted that I couldn't be everyone's personal saving grace. Nursing is one of the most emotionally and physically draining jobs. When you touch and hold and clean and patch people all day, you give them your energy. You pass it on through close contact. Mind you, nurses won't be a lonely bunch. But sometimes you see too much and your eyes cannot close to anyone in need. One day you turn around and your own identity is wrapped up in others. And you wonder how it slipped away on you.
I also had to admit that my creativity was at zero while I was a nurse. I spent so much of myself helping others that I had little energy left when I came home, for my family, and even less for my writing and art.

I really liked your poem and agree with a previous post (sorry, was it yours, Howard?)
that you have drawn a parallel between mathematics and emotions. How you add up your experience and wishes and dreams and try to match them to another's. And in your poem, the pain is obvious, because you found that her sum total was not the same as yours. Rather like algebra, the x's and y's just cannot be added together.
That stems from a Universal Law that like attracts like.
(Forget what you may or may not know about magnets and/or axioms of our cultures)
Think atomic structure and valance electrons. Think solution, saturation, chemical properties.
You know what always awed me? How the entire Table of Elements just so happened to work out into a table in the first place. How each element fit, fell into place. So busy memorizing the physical aspects of said elements, it takes a step back to appreciate the way things are.

Anyhow, I go on and on and ...on.
Sorry everyone.

How did I arrive at chemistry?
Oh, yes, the mismatch of it in Mark's fine poem.

Keep posting!

Welcome to newbies!

Let's see what's up in the WB shall we?

Heather,
P.M.

Pretty Monkey
Podium Machine
Prime Meridian
(I like Pregnant Moose)

p.s.

Just noticed the suggestion of ghost stories. Count me in. Do not have a lot of time, but this might have some interesting possibilities.

Fran and I finished our second open water dive. To get some idea of what this all looks like, I have included a couple of small photos from my first dive.

I am still overweighted with sixty pounds of lead weights to keep me down, but this gets me past my occasional anxiety and otherwise successfully lets me pass the skill test