Fri Jan 26 23:02:23 PST 2001

HALLEE: Thank you for your comments.

JERRY: Through my travels I have experienced a great many things. Both very good and very bad. But for some reason, after 42 years, I've never had to deal with the death of a friend. I cannot imagine the pain you must feel. Your writing reflects a torture that I do not want. This may sound odd, but I thank you for those thoughts. In some way, it may help me with the inevitable.

John

Jerry - Your story made me cry. It was very well written and touching. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all those affected by your friend's passing. (((BIG HUGS)))

Mary - I like Napster too. My boyfriend has a CD burner so I get to make all the CD's I want.

Okay, now to bragging. My dog did the CUTEST thing tonight! I was lying in my father's recliner and she comes up, jumps into the chair and lies down on her back to be like me. I swear she thinks she's human sometimes. My mom got a picture and when it's developed (which knowing them won't be for a while) I'll post it on my website.

*smiles*
Allein

"Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog."
- Homer Simpson

"What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over her, but he can't quite make it."
- Bart Simpson

BARNABAS: Re. the story - you're very welcome.
I tried to check out that link you posted, butit didn't work.

JERRY: I don't know what to say. Words seem so inadequate at a time like this. Thank heavens for morphine. Imagine that type of death without it.
Perhaps in the days before morphine people expired a lot quicker once they had the illness.
And thank heaven for chilhood immunisations while I'm at it.

DEBRA: Thanks. I'll get the bookshop I buy from to order it in from America.
Once I have it you must send me a little hand written note so that I can post it into the book.

In memory of my old friend who we will bury in the morning, I am going to repost this little short I wrote when I was agonizing about going to visit another fried who passed on from the same horriable illness.

The End
By Jerry A.G. Ericsson

The pain was exquisite, even the morphine could no longer keep it from entering his brain. His bones were being destroyed by the very weight of his body. The cancer that began well below his belt line now attacked the very structure of his body, his bones. Last week it was his arm that broke when he attempted to lift the weight of the coffee pot that Jane left on his bedside table. This week his spine began deteriorating. His doctor fitted him with a neck brace because the vertebrate in his neck shattered when he turned his head to speak with his daughter Julie.

Leroy reached up and increased the drip rate on his morphine drip, the increase in the flow of the drug into his vein gave him a rush he would have enjoyed not so many years ago, now it simply gave some relief, perhaps a chance for him to get some much needed sleep.

In the hall Jane retrieved her jacket from the closet, and stopped for just a few seconds to insure that her hair looked just right, her makeup was applied the way Robert liked it. She couldn’t wait until the cancer did its job and she was free of Leroy. Her marriage began as a joke, and quickly turned into a tragedy, when she found herself forced to care for her invalid husband. She hated every second of it. Changing his dirty diaper made her cringe, she would have left him had the cancer not evolved so quickly.

Jane left the house and headed uptown to the Hub bar, where Robert waited. She couldn’t wait for the change in pace, she needed the relief that alcohol brought her, she needed to feel Robert’s strong arms hold her close, she needed to hear his declaration of love, even though she knew deep in her heart that it was a lie.

Leroy slept for a few minutes, those minutes were minutes of freedom form the pain, minutes when he could again walk through the forest, feel the wind in his face, enjoy the aroma of the dogwood, the fresh smell of the wind as if flowed off Lake Louise. Beside him in his dreams walked Duke, his favorite hunting dog, the one that Jane had put to sleep so she wouldn’t have to feed and care for. Together they walked, his shotgun carried at his side, not really even looking for the elusive grouse that hid in the underbrush. Then the pain hit him again, and he was awake. He felt at his side with his good left hand for the buzzer that was clipped to his sheet. There it was, slowly so he didn’t break a finger, he picked it up, and pushed on the button. He needed to be turned; his muscles were in spasm, a condition brought on by the drugs that kept him alive. He waited, but no one heard, no one came. A few minutes later, he pushed the button again, perhaps, he though, Jane was in the bathroom, or maybe outside having a cigarette. Again his bell went unanswered. He grabbed at the rail that kept him from falling from the bed, and pulled with all his might. The bone in his left arm snapped like the twigs that he used to step on in the woods on his fathers farm. The pain was overwhelming. He fell back in his bed, gasping for breath from the exertion, and the pain. Slowly now supporting his left arm with the cast that encased his right, he reached for the IV control that fed the morphine into his withered body, he opened it wide open, and within a half hour, his pain was over. His last waking though was that Jane would be so relieved when she came home.

By the way, I was visiting with my niece who was in the room when my friend passed on, he was getting the morphene drip, much the same as the fellow in the story. I guess it is common when one is in so much pain.

Jerry

Teekay:

It's Sweetie here's the best reason on the planet to say no to your boyfriend.

"even if you've already said yes"


It's really short and to the point.

It's for teen girls.

Debra

From where I come from (you'll be getting alot of this) IQ is everything. If you aren't smart the way they want-doomed for life.

Check out the webpage above to find out more about NZ writers. I go there too.

Jerry
Sad. Very sad. Silence.

John and Teekay
Thanks for reading my Short story.

Something on the line of perfection huh. Hmmm...

What about this- A poem to go along with my short story "Impressions"

Some say we are perfect.
Some would give all to be like us.
Others would sacrifice their lives to be one of us.
But we know who we are not perfect.
For we have no feeling no emotion.
Only the drive to compete and eliminate.
Greed and power are all we want.
Love is beyond us.

We will destroy ourselves.


Heather
No need to build a tunnel to Japan, catapult should be fine.
See your novels running away.

Mary
I use to listen to songs on my computer but they got annoying after a while, clouding my thoughts.

As if I don't spend too much time on the internet already, I am addicted to Napster now. That's just great.

JOHN: Wow..well done. What a story.

Hallee

That's funny - I got Mark's wink to work, but not Jerry's. I got the infamous 'page unavailable' when I clicked on the link.

Oh, and now my Norton anti-virus program has herpes...
Not my computer, just the protection. Why, oh why, does it have to give me a look at its aggravating rash?
I wonder if people who work at condom factories ever have the urge to slick a few with....
UGH, a nasty thought.

Never you mind, folks. It's a Friday night and I've done something BAD.
I started writing on a fresh document in corel word 2000 just for a break from my novel, and you know what?
I unwittingly have the opening of my second novel. NOW I have to whip my own rear to stop myself from working on IT and not Haven.
AM I TOO STUPID FOR WORDS?

no, don't answer that. I'm just making life a lot harder.

Or, I should say, the writing life.

Got Writer's Digest mag in the mail today, and I didn't even order it. Neither did my husband. I wonder if there's a magazine fairy?


Heather

Hi All,

MARK: My computer must be a bit slow on the download -well DUH!!!!!!, I thought you had dropsy to begin with, but then I did the 'back' 'forward' thingee (I'm sure there's a more advance term for this, but I'm unaware of it) and it worked great. So good in fact that I actually got 2, count 'em, 2 winks!!!!
Just imagine what you could acheive if you used your powers for good instead of evil. Mind boggling. heh heh.

RHODA: I saw your sense of humour. It was very pretty. It was pink gingham with lace around the edges. :-)
Can't help you with the fish. All I really know about fish is how to eat them.

RRRRAMON: I love that name!

TINA: I haven't commented on your story yet coz I haven't even started reading it. If I printed out all those pages my printer would fizzle up and die. Dammit!

JERRY: The page was unavailable.
I am so sorry for your loss.

DEBRA: Could you please refresh me on the title of your book. I want to try and order it in. My aim is to collect the works of all here when they are published.

Seeya.

JERRY: I couldn't get Mark's wink to work either, but when I clicked on the link to yours, it downloaded to my desktop and played on my windows media player. Is that what was supposed to happen? Pretty cool, by the way.

Greetings all. A little something whilst I catch up on all the postings

My shortie:

"I believe that the subject is perfection?"

"Yes, that's right!"

"And that, mostly, people are more appreciative than precious about entries?"

"Uh, huh."

"Hmm, I think I shall endeavour to submit a 'perfect' shortie then."

"Good. Thursday is shortie night -- you do know that, don't you?"

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"Today is Friday…"

"Bugger!"


Actually, I was staying with my mother last night, so no internet connection...

Ciao for now,

Litter

Mary:

You and me both Mary. I'm getting old again and they just started. They usually last two weeks.

The last time this happened I was 39 weeks pregnant with twins.

Debra

Jerry - my deepest condolences on your loss. I will be praying for you. *hugs*

Christi - "Grammy". :) I never had a Grammy either only two grandmas.

And now, Spamku:

Boy trapped in ice box
Nothing else inside but SPAM
Boy eats own left foot

"Don't play with your food."
"What else can I do with SPAM?
Eat it? Yeah, right, Mom."

It is still moving
Mom said it's already dead
I don't believe it

Played sick to stay home
Mom gave me fried SPAM for lunch
Not playing sick now

Gave SPAM to teacher
Thought it was a nice present
Got all Fs on card

For more spam-ku, visit: Spam Haiku Archive

*smiles*
Allein

"Stealing! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whats-his-name?"
- Homer Simpson

Well all your talk of kids finally did it to me. Here's a true story I've been putting off for 25 years. Always meant to write it down...Never did until today. Y'all are responsible so you have to read it. It's called "Jeff Shipton"



When I was a lad... Ok, lemme start over... When I was a young geek, I had few friends. In fact, only two, Dan and Brian. My two friends and I would meet after school and be “bestest buddies”, but during school, we associated rarely, if at all. Sounds odd to say that now, but at the time, I had classes, chess, and band practice, all of which Dan and Brian had no interest, so thinking back, I understand why.

My time spent at school was solitary. My eyeglasses were usually repaired with tape, I was the shortest person in the class and I had absolutely no interest in sports or girls. My grades were ok and I had a good relationship with my teachers. All these geeky scholastic aspects were a part of my daily routine and little did I know, they were secretly stacking up against me. After school, I was a normal kid. Dan and Brian and I would meet somewhere, head off for the woods, or go fishing, sled riding, hunting, trapping, or just plain hanging out. I had no clue of what was about to happen. Evidently, the geek had been targeted for execution.

Jeff Shipton was a jock. Oh, I’m sorry... Jeff Shipton was an aspiring athlete. He joined all the sports teams and clubs, hung out with the cool people, wore the right clothes and chased all the right girls. Classes?...Forget about it. Jeff’s only drawback, and the one that kept him from “Supreme Popular Guy of the Universe”, was that he was the same height as me. Quite a detriment when you think about it. Jeff sure took some ribbing from his peers about having the same stature as geeky little John. It’s funny…..I didn’t even know him at the time.

One night, our high school hosted a “Fun Fair”, a livey annual gala filled with booths sponsored by the various acedemic clubs. This was no small event, spreading itself over the three gymnasiums that occupied the Physical Education portion of the school. Everyone was going and I was no exception. I really didn’t have anyone to hang out with, but it didn’t really matter. My mom gave me 5 dollars to spend and dropped me and my brother off at the school. My brother belonged to his own group... He disappeared before the car door closed. This is where my hell began. I was being stalked.

They seemed to have a plan, but thinking back, I can’t imagine how. For the next two hours, Jeff and his pals manuvered themselves in and out of gymansiums, doorways, hallways and restrooms, for the sole purpose of punching me in the face as I walked around corners. At first, I didn’t know what was going on. For the first hour, I thought, “These guys think I’m someone else”. So, as they would swing at me, I would try to explain that they were making some kind of mistake. Ok, so I was a naïve geek. By halftime, I had blood on my face, tears in my eyes and I wouldn’t let anyone help me. People came near and ask what was going on and I would pull away just as quickly and hide my face. I was embarrassed to be who I was. I finally ran outside and waited for my mom to show up. My brother heard what happened, but I think he was a little embarassed himself and kept his distance. Mom asked if we had fun... My brother did all the talking. She never suspected a thing.

For the next couple of days, I planned my revenge. I told Dan and Brian that I would get off the bus, walk over to Jeff, and beat the crap out of him. For me, it takes two days to plan such a strategy. Monday came very quickly.

I got off the bus and looked around only to find that most of the student body was standing around waiting. Jeff was standing front and center. THEY KNEW!! The whole school knew. I talked to two people out in the woods on the weekend and millions of people around the world had been notified by Monday morning. And this was prior to personal computers and global satelite communications. But, I didn’t care. My mind was made up...Jeff must die. I walked up to him with a mission in my mind and determination in my eyes. Jeff took a slight step backwards as I was about to inflict the first deadly blow. He opened his mouth to speak. I was immediately apprehended by the bus driver.

That was the end of it. No talk of “the incident”. No suspensions. No groundings. Nothing. Not even a word between the combatants. 750 milliseconds of “rush” and the war was over.

Months later, we moved to another state to satisfy a career move for my dad. Within a year, the hormones had taken charge and I shot up to a respectable height. With the weight training program offered at my new high school, I was able bulk up a bit. After that year, we made a trip back to our old town where I was allowed to visit my old school, maybe talk to some of my teachers, and, of course, see Jeff Shipton. It didn’t take long to find him as I was quite focused. He was a little guy, I thought when I first saw him. I didn’t say anything to him as we first approached. He looked at me first with the eyes of unrecognition, but that changed as we got closer and he realized I was fixated. A very weak, but friendly, “Hi John” squeaked out of him. I nodded and said, “Jeff”, then I moved on.

To this day, I often think of Jeff Shipton and the millions like him. The bullies with misguided notions of power and fame, short-lived, but possessing a powerful impact. Jeff had talents and experiences I will never know. I like to think he grew up to regret that night, but for my part, it is ill-spent speculation since I’ll never seek him out again and I will never know. I learned something valuable though, that power is an illusion, brought on by circumstances and events. And power is lost as quickly as it is acquired.

I’m not a geek anymore and there is no doubt in my mind that I will protect my family with my life. I served my country with the full patriotic willingness to fight hand to hand, to the death if necessary. I am not a coward and never thought myself to be one. I still strive to better myself and to not allow conflict to muddle the issue. And I have yet to experience the sensation of hitting someone with my fist.

hello to all and i sasquatch am happy knowing you are also here. and new ones as also are here welcome. i sasquatch have been trying to read all of the words here but i will have to find a larger current bush to plug in to ha ha. did you know we have problems with electricity also here? you speak of hybrids and i have seen many different people all come together, and Yeti memory brings knowing of you joke as hybrids but some can not live together. now Yeti are fear for humans persons in home place after the mountains move. many humans are no longer. many more will be no longer. many are fearing and still hating ones who live near but all must help together. can not explain how sasquatch knows all these things but is part of Yeti knowing and memory. also know ground will move here soon and humans persons will be cold and fear. i sasquatch will try to help then. i must go.

So I was bored today, and I got to thinking about Marks wink thing. While it didn't seem to work on my computer, I thought I would try my had at the same thing. Click the link above, it might work. It works for me to type it in my browser at any rate.

Jerry

FORWARDS OK.
Hello all,
I don't mean to leap in the middle of an ongoing conversation, but I have an possible opportunity to get a reading in Seattle, but I'd like to pair with another writer or two, if possible. My novel, Homecoming, just came out in October--an experiemental small press novel--and I'm looking for local (Seattle to Portland) writer/s who have also had a book come out recently that would be a good fit with my work. I am particularly interested in fiction that is language based and slightly gritty. If you are interested, please respond to me privately. Send along a small blurb about you and your book, a number I can reach you at, best times to call, and attach a short-ish sample of your work (in Word .doc format please).
I will contact the writer(s) that I think would be a good match.

Thank you,
Caren Gussoff

Mary,

I enjoyed the e-mail. Your practical advice and experience are a great help. And I agree that I try too hard.

Heather,

Mary also mentioned that goldfish were not as easy as one might think. I will pass the information on to my daughter. I also agree with you about the limitations of IQ testing. IQ is a multifaceted thing, not something you can pin down with merely a test score and a psychological evaluation.

I wonder why so many young parents get together and compare kids? I have mainly seen this with potty-training, walking and reading. I understand how it is to have great pride in one's children, but who are parents really affirming when they brag about their kids accomplishments in a light that puts other children down? Themselves perhaps? Their DNA or their parenting skills? I remember these type of discussions when my children were younger. I don't see this as much with parents of older kids. I think as you move along, problems and trials come along to make even the best parents a bit more humble. I know I am.

Jerry,

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend to cancer.

Debra,

I hope your husband is better soon. I know those head-aches can be horrible.

Howard,

I often cast my novels while I am writing them. I do it mainly to have some sort of physical picture of my characters. This method works very well as you think about the actors and actresses who could conceivebly play each character. Sorry but I just can't see Ellen DeGeneres as Frodo or Bette Midler as Galadrial. I think Susan Sarradan (I can't spell that name right, but you know who I mean) would make a better Galadrial. How about Rosie O'Donnell as Sam and Jack Nicholson as Frodo? Donny Osmond might make a good Pippin.

I am thinking of putting Russell in Karate. I think he would like it.

Happy writing,

Rhoda

SOmeone stop me please PLEASE!
No?
Ok then...
The stars of the new Lord of the Rings movie ...


Drew Carey as Bilbo
Ellen DeGeneres as Frodo
Jack Nicholson as Sam Gamgee
Bette Midler as Galadriel
Woody Allen as Aragorn
Kevin Costner as Gollum
Bob Newhart as Gandalf
Al Gore as Merry
Bill Clinton as Pippin
Jim Carrey as Treebeard
and a special guest appearance by Yasser Arafat as Ghan-Beri-Ghan

It's a game we used to play -- recast a movie -- see who could come up with the most outrageous casting.
---
guess ya hadda be there...

How odd. I'm sitting here stretching out the stiffness from last night's jiu jitsu session, and the discussion comes around to kids and martial arts.

I feel pretty strongly about kids learning a martial art. If I do ever have kids, they'll be strongly encouraged to get into one (my obvious preference would be jiu jitsu). Ben, I hope that the VP doesn't try and use it against your son. Martial arts teach a person NOT to fight unless it can't be avoided through other means. People who don't understand that seem to think that if you take a martial art you must WANT to get in fights. Little do they know. I've seen two people kicked out of the club I'm in, because they went looking for trouble and started fights.

As an aside, did you know they're making a 'Lord of the Rings' live action movie? It'll be released this coming December. I can't remember who's in it, but I'll be going to see it!

Another great shortie night! yay everyone! I love this 'tradition' we've grown here! It does my brain so much good to take a break from my two regular projects, keeps me looser and more creative. Another reason I love being addicted to this place! :-D

And Mark, budding in line isn't polite. Were you playing with HTML again? ;-) Hmmmm?

Jerry, I've got you firmly in my thoughts and prayers.
So are you Rachel. And baby.
And Arik too, since he's gone so long without posting. Hope all is right with you Arik!

Time to go.
Tina

Jerry:

You never really know, that bet might have been what bought him seventeen years. If he was prone to cancer he might have died a long time ago.

You know?


I hate funerals too. I really do.


I'm sorry you lost your friend. I have a friend I love and it would kill me to lose her. So I can understand your pain.

Debra

Please excuse my latest post - very sloppy writing on my part. Typos, spacelessness problems, etc.
It is a little early in the day for me to be THINKING.

Ben, I don't know what to tell you. How will your son pass his courses if he can't write the exams? Or will he be able to write them late? (I'm not clear on this one, but I thought I remember a few kids during highschool being able to take an exam late due to special circumstances... might not apply to suspension however...)
I have my daughter in karate, and she's not allowed to date until she has at least 5 years of karate under her 'belt' so to speak. Now, if she decides that she hates karate after a few years, or wants to take jiu jitsu instead, by all means that will be fine with me. So long as she is well trained in a martial art.
I know this says a lot about society today. I still won't feel she's safe even with all that karate training. A sad state that the world has wedged itself into, don't you think?

Heather

Oh, good - I wasn't too sure about that fish tank problem - all I know is that we set the water for filling the fish tank out in a bucket overnight so that the chlorine would evaporate. I don't know about ammonia!

Rhoda, just a thought - are they small goldfish? If they are, they are the same fish that are sold as feeder fish for turtles and crabs and the like, so aren't expected to live long. I have had much better success with guppies, mollies, zebra daniels, red-tailed sharks, even kissing gouramis are hardier. Angel fish, on the other hand, are about the same. Expect the 'roll-over' of about half. Your toilet will be busy delivering angel fish to the great 'beyond'. I do want to start a fish tank, but I wanted to give a salt water tank a go - because I've always wanted to try keeping starfish, anemones, clown fish and a few others like that. Starfish eat live mussels, clams, etc., and at first I thought they might be too 'exotic or unusual to keep. But all I have to do to feed them is go to my local grocery and buy a pound or two of live shellfish, which will last the starfish a long time. Of course, I'd be buying some for me to eat at the same time!

Another point for Rhoda - I have never relied on IQ test results to accurately depict someone's intelligence. It might give insight intoa person's logic and common sense, perhaps, but not overall intelligence. If you were on the hyper-active side, your low score was most likely due to a lack of interest in sitting still. It is not a true reflection of your obvious wizardry! (And by that I mean quite amazing genius)

Nice wink, Mark!

Ramon, I do not think you are inferior at all. Don't go shrinking away into corners - delve deeper into your creativity! You can do it.

Tina, know what you mean about boiling blood. So many times when my brother or sister in-law would revive the 'my kid's better than your kid' conversation and attitude, I would keep my responses very brief and to the point: "Children can not and should not be compared to each other."

But at the same time, I wished my son would just talk while we were there, so he would show them that he was actually far more articulate! (I know, I know, it was an angry and selfish response, but I was entirely sick of hearing their comparisons.
Visits to their house didn't always end with kiddie comparisons - sometimes my sister in law would get into this sort of one-way complaint dialogue about her husband (my husband's jerk brother) and she would raise her voice enough so that he (and everyone else) could hear her from the next room!
I haven't figured out how to respond to that sort of rude badgering, (though I personally think she's right) so i keep to myself and just quietly sip my tea. I might even nod on occasion. I don't think she's wrong to feel how she does, but I could just die when she acts that way. I feel she is embarassing her husband, herself, and her guests.

I can't share the nitty gritty with you...unless it's in story form and I change the names to protect the terminally annoying.




JERRY - I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Blessings to you and your family, and some extras for your friend's family. I'll be thinking of all of you.

That's all folks,
Heather

It took a long time to read the messages this morning. I was too busy helping my little girl get her homework done--she wanted me to type the last page because she says I type fsster and she had to go to bed. I didn't realize I typed as fast as I do, but I guess she was right. Anyway, all this talk of kids was somewhat ironic. My boy--he just turned 15--got into two fights at school yesterday. As if one wasn't enough. I was really calm about the whole thing-I mean it's just a fight isn't it? Happens all the time I hear. I never had to fight when I went to school. I've taught him the usual, "walk away it's better to not fight" stuff we all teach them, but sometimes, it's hard. I know it is. He felt compelled to fight he said, because these guys have been bugging him for quite some time. He said they called his mother names, when I asked what kind of names, he said they told him she was a Skanky whore, a slut
and loose--but not morally, if you know what I mean. (I wonder how they knew her pet names--no, just teasing about that.)
But I was talking to a V.P. after I got home from work, and he said he's suspended for the next five days. And guess what? It's the end of the semester and now he won't be able to write his finals.
I tried to explain that there was no way any fifteen year old kid was going to be able to ignore something like that being said about his mother no matter what any adult told him. I was happy to hear that he took a couple of shots just to give them a "fighting chance", and then proceeded to give the main offender the shit kicking he deserved. I guess they figure because he wears glasses and has a warped sense of humor he'd been an easy mark. They didn't know he was taking Karate for two years, just to give it up for boxing, as well as playing football. He's been playfighting with me in the backyard since he was seven, and sometimes it got a little rough, but he always came back for more. The thing that amazes me, is that when he was younger we thought he was going to be a leftie, but some teacher was "kind enough to break him of that habit." Yeah right. Now he can lead with a left or right jab, and has a left hook that is deadly. I'm grateful he's still friendly with me.
Now what do I do with him for the next week? Homework assignment for today: Reda the beginning of LORD OF THE RINGS and give me a summary. He says he's been wanting to read it for a long time. But I picked up all three books for him at a garage sale in the summer time, and he hasn't even gotten past the first twenty pages. Maybe he will today?
Ben

I only have a second, but wanted to thank you all for sharing your toddler experiences, and let RHODA know that I sent her an email about how to fix her fish tank problem.

Hi All:

Well I was busy with my husband all night last night. He had a terrible migraine. He gets them sometimes once a year for about two weeks. They come up as soon as he sits down or tries to go to sleep.


Sorry

Debra

No its not monday. Just to brighten things up here's my all time favourite Simpsons Quote:

HOMER: Quick Bart make me mad.

BART: Well I'm flunking math and yesterday I was a little attracted to Millhouse.

CHRISTI: Country music makes me laugh, so really I shouild listen to it in droves. I've decided I need a change of job. I've just realised that the shorties I've posted have in fact been a bit dull. So I guess everybody has this image of me being a miserable fellow who has nothing better to do but harp on about the how cheesed off he is. I can be light and humerous, even chirpy. I promise to be so in my writing. Incidentally my last short was the first time I ever wrote a poem. I am not showing off when I say that I wrote whilst on the phone with a client (he just narked me off something chronic, and it is based on something my Dad kept telling me as a teenager "Don't trust anybody outside the family; not your friends, or teachers, anybody". Now I am 30 and we just fight all the time. I guess have issues concerning me DA that I need to thrash out but I won't do it on this site. Promise. Thanks for the message. Its good
to see things really kicking round here.

EVERYBODY: Nice work on the shorties. Again I feel I am over shadowed by the company of some amazing talent (crawls into an insecure ball in the corner).

Hi Anne. Welcome. Yes you have been noticed. What do you expect mind. Writers are notoriously observant (he says unaware his boss is looking over his shoulder - JUST KIDDING)and so any newcomers are bound to be noticed. Anyway welcome and heres hoping this forum does the same for you as its done for me.

This will probably be my last post before the weekend (Cooking Chinese Food tomorrow - I do a mean drunken chicken) which means I wont be looking in until at least Monday.

Take Care all in whatever you're doing.

RAMON
(Complete and utter miserbale git looking for :-).

Jerry, Hugs and strength to you.

Hi ev'rybodiiiiiiiiii! (Said like Grover)

Wow, great shorties. Really, guys! They're all so wonderful and different from each other. It's like going around the world and out into space in only one night. Made me want to cuddle up to a nice warm fire, sipping on a mug of coffee. Thanks, John.
Also I've enjoyed the conversation on kids. Nice to see such good parents here.

Allein and Teekay, When I was your age, you rotten kids ... (shaking my finger)
Sigh. Maybe I will let you call me Grammy; it sounds kind of sweet. I never had a Grammy. Had a Grandma and a Gramma, but no Grammy. (Incidentally, also known as the Millie Vanilli lament. Get it? No Grammy? Oh, that was baaad.)

Mark, I'm glad to see you're back. My hubby's coming to Binghamton really soon for job training. The thought went through my head that I wished I was going with so I could meet you. Does the thought count?

Hi Rhoda. I hope things are better in the morning. Hugs for you and your daughter.

I started on a shortie about perfection and it ran long and I didn't finish so I suppose I'll post it in the workbook when I'm done. See y'all tomorrow,

Christi

Unfortunately I could not do a shortie. I spent the whole evening trying to fix my daughter's new aquarium. So far we have killed three fish and my daughter lives in fear that she will wake in the morning and see another one of the darling things dead on the bottom. When these fish die, she grieves terribly, cries, gets depressed. I checked the ammonia tonight and found a high amount. I changed the filter and replaced half the water and still had too much ammonia. I replaced half the water again and got the level down to acceptable limits, but unforuately some of the fish went into shock. My daughter proclaimed that if these four fish die, she will never again want more of them. Any advice on goldfish would be beneficial.

Speaking of children, my Russell's teacher and principle have requested another meeting with me and my husband. Russell was doing better there for awhile, but fell back a bit. I hope I don't get another lecture about how I should have this kid evaluated for ADD.

Russell is extremely bright. I don't care if he test high for IQ or has a bevy of A's. I just don't wish for him to grow up hating school and having awful memories of it. I want him to learn, explore and get the joy out of reading that I always have found.

Heather,

Brains do run in families. I would venture to say by what I know of you that you are every bit as "gifted" as your brothers. It is too bad you never had much credit for it. I certainly hope you were never made to feel inferior. Personally I wouldn't want a "gifted" child in my family. The term itself makes me cringe. All it really means is that you scored well on some tests. I am sure that I am probably all wet on this, but it is important what one does with what he is given than just having an abundance of it in the first place. Every child, no matter his test scores, should have access to demanding and interesting classes. Every one's gifts should be cultivated and encouraged.

Boy, here I go taking a stabb at ADD and giftedness. Pediatricians and psychologists will just jump all over me for my uneducated opinions. Of course I only say these things because I flunked my sixth grade IQ test. I probably scored about a 75. If only I had been taking Ritalin, it might have been different.

Time for bed,

Rhoda

Ok, ok, so I am a bit bored and surfing the web, came across another site you may be interested, it is an English/American dictionary, where one can search a word and see how we spell it over here, or how you in British commonwealth spell it. Just can't seem to concentrate enough to write, another of my great friends from the past died today. Cancer, what a horrible way to go, it ate at him for several years. This morning it won. I was just leaving the house to drive to the hospital to see him when we got the call. Saturday I will be going to his funeral. One time oh, must have been seventeen years ago now, we made a bet, of sorts. We decided to quit smoking, and whoever started again would pay those who quit ten bucks. I paid mine, he never did. Never had another cigarette, and see where it got him. Well I guess nobody ever said life was fair. He leaves a good wife and a daughter the same age as mine. God I hate funerals.

Jerry

oops. I just overwrote someone's post. ?? dunno how.
The link is to my animated wink, it's 160k, so connection speed is important.

Here's the whole post.

All right all you mothers
I don't have any kids, so I'll just have to tell you how gifted I am.

Uh, OK. Click on the wink.
=====================
shorty

Well, I gotta say I don't know about this 'perfection' stuff. Seems to me like trying to be perfect is like having the flu -- the more you try to work through it, the more exhausted you get. And the people I know who had perfection as a goal, well, they generally wanted it for someone else, they wanted to show off. I guess in most minds perfection is no good without an audience.

'People Pleasers' I believe they're called. Gotta make things just right so's as everybody around will be happy and think good thoughts about 'em. Yup. People Pleasers. Mighty insecure group. Might as well admit their real aim is for a room in the house up on the hill. (And why are those places always up on the hill? Best view of Washington DC is from most windows at St Elizabeth's Hospital.)

Yup. Perfection ain't gonna happen. I'll get my backside into a good sweat workin' for yuh, but I ain't seen Perfect yet. People think they're gonna get it. Better learn where my hiney is, they can either check out the good sweat or kiss it goodbye.

======================
Welcome all the newcomers. One of the crazy things that happens here is that you feel compelled to come back. Along the way you may write something or you may edit something. Chances are if you are here it ain't because you got a Jones for eating Jell-o (tm).

All right all you mothers
I don't have any kids, so I'll just have to tell you how gifted I am.

Uh, OK. Click this Thu Jan 25 19:59:29 PST 2001

Howdy, hello, and greetings!

This talk about comparing kids makes me boil. Not the talk itself, but the sad facts. I don't have kids, but I've watched this happen with my nieces and nephews, and it always makes me so MAD! I'm the only one of my siblings who doesn't have kids, so I have plenty of nieces and nephews to feel protective about. Four of them are within three years of each other, and the comparisons never stop. THIS one is smarter, THAT one is more talented... how about they are all perfect and unique in their own way? Grrr... makes my blood boil.

Anyway, I came to post my shortie. Here goes!


Ahhh, the moon. Luna. So beautiful. The craters and mountains are perfect. Here, I'll add more power to the telescope, use a stronger lens. Oooh. That did it. Close enough to reach out and touch it! There's Autolycus. Lunik 2 is in that crater somewhere. Wonder if anyone will ever go get it?
Okay, let's cut the power back and find Saturn. He's sitting perfectly for a look at his rings. The buttery-yellow star. There it is! Oooh. Awestruck. Again. Everytime I see Saturn it staggers me. Hmm, if I use this lens and an orange filter... oh yeah. Look at those rings! Wow. I can even see the planet's shadow on the rings! Oh wow! This is so perfect!
This is great, but I'd better set up the telescope for the Space Station. It should come over in about five minutes, right over... there. Yeah. Come on baby. Where are you? Is that...? Has to be. It's the brightest thing in the sky. Moving fast. Line up my scope, use the wide angle lens, no filter. There... we... go!
Oh my God. Look at that. Look at that! I can't believe how amazing it is. People are actually LIVING up there! Oh oh, I have to track it faster, it's moving out of range... there we go.
It's stunning. I really can't think beyond that. I just want to watch, imagine what they see, imagine BEING there! What I'd give to see their view!
Oooh. It's gone. Guess I'll pack up now, put everything safely in it's box. I'll clean the lenses tomorrow. I don't want to do it now, not after such a perfect night.

TTFN
T.J.

Just happened upon the above site, maybe you have all been there maybe not. Anyhow it sounds good, but as they say if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is. Worth a look at any rate.

Jerry

Hallee, what parallel lives we live. My siblings are both extremely gifted, my older brother was considered a gifted child and took 'enriched' classes (at a different locale from the school) on weekends for much of his youth. Even in enriched classes he was bored. His ninth grade English teacher accused him of plaigarism - she couldn't believe someone that age could write so well, so he 'must have' taken it from somewhere, though she didn't have a clue where it might have been 'from'. FROM HIS BRAIN, DOLTRESS!
My younger brother had scholarships galore, and was allowed to skip his entire first year because he was too advanced for those courses. He was ranked ninth in all of Michigan in math during elementary school, won competitions nation-wide, etc... Now my older brother is going for his PhD, already has his Masters in Computer Science. He designed the entire database - infrastructure and all, for the human genetics program as PART of his master's thesis. They actually use his program. He could build a mastermind computer from three dead toasters and an oven grill, and it would be more powerful and faster than my new system!
Younger brother? Engineer, working for GM. He just turned 23, and has a cushy, high paying job, and not too many higher ups to pass on his way to the top.
I didn't finish University because I started a family. I also, have the only grandchildren in the immediate family.
But I too, have some gifts. I wouldn't say they're of the same calibre as my brothers', however. I did go to a highscool of the Arts, and had straight A's all through my 'educational prison term'. I found so many methods of teaching caging and suffocating, and when breaking such molds, though attaining A's, I was considered volatile and uncouth. It was not the place or time for such wild excursions into the unknown! (That was what my sculpting teacher said.) My photography teacher proclaimed that I was blind because he couldn't find a single negative with a unified depth of field. And now I see famous photographers with similar techniques. GRRRRRRRRR

Shame, shame, shame on me for not finishing college or University? (I stick out my tongue and taunt the one who pokes shame at me!)
Well, that's at least my very first reaction in my own defense.
Ha ha! I am a child at heart - silly and smart, and plotting to build a tunnel to Japan, so I can visit Viv.
Do you think ground water will foil my plans?

Nahhhh.

I wonder if it is possible to win an international PRIZE before my brothers?
Andrew (the eldest) might win for inventing a device that cleans your house, your garage, your car and your toilet, and can sort through your mail; Cameron, my younger brother, might just invent a new fuel for cars that isn't harmful to the environment...
And I just want to entertain a few people. I WIN!!!!

(A sad joke, really)

I could say it is all because I am the middle child, but that would be an even sadder joke...

Heather

BARNABAS: Yes, it's true - the passing of "giftedness". I mentioned my brothers IQ's, but they are also both artists. My youngest brother went to college on a full art scholarship - my older brother on a scholarship to go to USC for cinematography. (however that's spelled). And my little sister is a brilliant writer - she's a newspaper reporter - good enough that after graduating in May, working for her paper since July - she was the one sent to Washington to cover the Inaguration (however that's spelled). My siblings blow me away - I'm the dumb one, the only one who didn't graduate in the top ten of high school (though I was 13 - I still get ribbed) and the only one who didn't go to college. BUT (hahaha) I have the only grandchild for my parents - so there! hehehe - anyway, I'm getting long again and my daughter is ready to get out of the bath.

Hallee

At the risk of sounding like this is a kiddie comparison...

Mary - my daughter is going to be a vegetarian for exactly the same reasons. I asked her to wait until she had finished more of her growing because she doesn't like a lot of meat alternatives and I don't know how else to get enough protein into her. She agreed that she would wait, and help me search for recipes that she'll like in the meantime. (I've nearly given up hope - she's got some very particular taste buds)

And Christian hasn't taught himself to read, although he does tell me the story right back in his own words, after I've finished reading it to him. I've started running my fingers along underneath each word as I read it to see if he will catch on to what I'm doing. So far he just sees it as annoying - "Your finger is in the way! I want to see ALL of the picture!"

AW, Well. ;-)

Heather

I have a lot to say about "perfecting" kids to become geniuses but I'm not feeling too well. Maybe later.

As you can tell from the long messages I have below I have alot to say about raising children.

Mary
Completely understand what you are going through. Where I come from, parents have to pressure their children to do well because if they don't they will be doomed for life (how I wish I was exaggerating).

That reminds me, all you vegetarians out there, if you think about it very very carefully, vegetables and animals are both made out of living cells. Animals simply have these specialised cells known as brain cells clumped together to form a nervous center. Therefore, if you are vegetarian because you don't want to eat animals you should not be eating plants either because they are both cells!
The only reason (I can think of) why people prefer not to eat animals is because we are similar to them. As for exploitation of animals... maybe another time.

Small note here: I apparently did the same thing when I was young, pestering my parent's to read to me stories, but I only vaguely remember it now. As far as I can tell it had advantageous effects, if you do ask your daughter later in her life, prepare to be met with a blank face.

Viv
Don't worry, we all have a that bad habit.


Heather
Sounds like your son is a lot like me. That reminds me, like I told Mary, from where I come from there is no way you can learn at your own pace (the country would fall in a single day if everyone learnt at their own pace). You forget each child is different, for some learning at their own pace is better than spoon feeding them information. For others like me for example, you have to spoon feed me and then leave me to contemplate. I usually don't bother with things other. Information overload you see so I learnt to ignore almost anything. My eyes just skip over flashy things now adays. In fact I find reading with the TV blaring is about the same as reading silently.

Annie
One question, when's the festival?

Hallee
In my humble opinion, families with a "gifted" child in them usually have "gifted" children in related families. Its just a matter of what their gifted in, for example, on my father's side all his siblings and him are smart academically. On my mother's side I think only one of them went to University yet one of my aunts once belonged to the National Choir and is a gifted musician. Also most of my cousins and my sister are gifted in music. I'm pretty good at music too but never liked it.

Jerry
No one said it was fun, but it benefits the country ecomnomically. Socially is another matter all together...

Haylee, I know what you mean by a toddler blowing your mind.
This is pretty much the conversation I had with Christian when my grandmother died.

I sat him down with me in his room, and we were building a lego fort. (OK, so he was building it and my job was to sort through the stuff and find him the blue and red six-nub pieces)
"Christian, do you remember great Grandma from Paris?" I asked.
He finished the front gate. "Yeah." He hasn't looked up yet.
"Well, do you remember that she was very sick?"
He finished the corner on the right side, and is fiddling around with the idea of a turret. "She had to ride in an ambulance, right Mom?"
"Yes, she did. But Grandma's not sick any more, honey."
He doesn't say anything. Instead, he's working on the left side of the fort.
"Grandma died last night."
"She died?"
"Yes."
He goes back to building the left corner now. I've given him a new pile of the right coloured and sized bricks. He pauses, and holds a block in his fingers, mid-air. "Grandma doesn't NEED her body any more. She's happy now."
I couldn't say anything. I was trying to hold back the tears.

How can a three year old understand what dying even is?
But I tell you, he knows.
He has been adding since age 2. Not big numbers, mind you, but numbers between 1 and 5. I think most of his knowledge is intuitive or already understood from his own life experiments he performs - a lot of them he does without me realizing exactly what it is he's after.

Anyhow, my daughter is completely normal math-wise, but has a great intuitive understanding of many spiritual things, just as my son does. I don't think of them as gifted or normal, or anything but themselves.
The best way, really.

Heather

Geeze, doesn't anyone let kids be kids anymore, where is the fun in that? Pushing them to hard can only hurt them in the long run, they must be able to play, they say that children learn more through play then any other method. Anyhow that's what I think about the whole matter, someone telling me that their kid is better then mine because they can count to ten or something, and I would reply yes but how good is he at being superman, or batman.

Maybe I am just old fashioned.

Jerry

Geeze, doesn't anyone let kids be kids anymore, where is the fun in that? Pushing them to hard can only hurt them in the long run, they must be able to play, they say that children learn more through play then any other method. Anyhow that's what I think about the whole matter, someone telling me that their kid is better then mine because they can count to ten or something, and I would reply yes but how good is he at being superman, or batman.

Maybe I am just old fashioned.

Jerry

ANNIE, JOHN, VIV, all you newbies -- Welcome! I've just been reading all the great shorties, and I'm happy to be in such (continuing) good company!

JACK -- This site just keeps getting better and better! Thank you again for keeping it available for us! We appreciate it more than you know.

MARY, HEATHER -- the one-upmanship you describe is more common than you might realize, and is one of the most damaging things that can happen to a child. People get too selfish to spend time with their own kids, then criticize others for doing what they themselves should be doing.

JOHN -- you enjoy cooking! I do too. Have you seen the recipe du jour site and mailing list? Not only good recipes, but excellent writing as well!

MARK, AMERICO, SASQUATCH, GS -- where away?

MARY & HEATHER: I can't believe the similar experiences we have. Mine, however, is with my mother in law. My daughter is 5 months older than my neice. Kaylee turns 4 in March. My mother in law teaches gifted students. Kaylee is very smart - but then, my brothers and husband have genius IQ's, so it's just something that is. She can read, write words, count to whatever - 90, I think - and her memory blows me away. Sadly, Aliya is just normal, and we live in the same town. She's a normal kid who doesn't fret about the panhandler on the corner who has the hole in his pants, she doesn't worry when storm clouds roll in about whether it will make airplanes crash, and she doesn't have nightmares about war scenes from the evening news. She's just a normal kid who's into Barney and Blues Clues. My daughter is the opposite, and will worry and fret until she understands outcomes and reasonings, and it's becoming so terrible with my mother in law. I not only have to deal with her comparing Kaylee and my neice, I have to listen to her drill me about why I don't push Kaylee harder. Why isn't she learning to add yet? Good God - she's 3. She taught herself to read, and if it were time for her to learn to add, I can guarantee you that she'd bring me math in some form and ask me to show her.

ARGHH

HAHA- Mary - Kaylee eats meat because her dad insists, but she won't eat sugar. It's not good for you. She actually asked her aunt for a carrot instead of birthday cake once. HAHA - that is perfection - a toddler - a well adjusted happy toddler.


Wow - that was long. Sorry.

Hallee

Morning All,

ALLEIN: My birthday is on November 8th. You are now obligated to do something very nice for me. :-)

Great shorties guys, I enjoyed all of them.

CHRISTI: Can I call you Grammy too please? :-)

JERRY: I read 'a monster in the kitchen '(very appropriate title.)and I think it has great potential. I think you need to build up the suspense some more.

I loved the way it started off, but I think you got about a third of the way through it and then you just told it like you were talking to someone.

At the beginning of the story I could actually see what you were saying, but as the story went on I could only hear you speak.

I think a little more atmosphere and maybe a bit more focus on the monster and maybe an explanation or local legend about it. At the moment it doesn’t seem to be the focus of the story.

Anyway, that's just my opinion for what it's worth. I know you were looking for input.

Well now that I've had my notebook fix I'd better go and make myself a cup of tea.

A jooly good day to you all. (not to be mistaken for jolly.)

Ben: I believe everything that is written (Especially in PEOPLE) and movies make everything real. Oh what shall I do with such a conflict.... Oh, by the way, they want 3 days in the desert, not 4...My mistake

Heather: "The Perfect Thing to Say" was just great. I read it 5 or 6 times just to feel it

Mary: I've devoted a chapter in my book to your dilemma with your sister-in-law. Sadly, it's all too common. But on the bright side, there's a solution that is good for everyone.(I'll share it in the next couple-o-days..Heather, it applies to your experiences as well) If you'd like to hear the standard analysis, it is this...most children, under the age of 8, advance at remarkably different rates and it is because they are going through a thing called "Pre-Adolescence". Pre-adolescence is a time where the child is "learning how to learn" as their minds are undergoing a tremendous change. The parents can take that opportunity to get a preview of the volatility of their teenage adolescence because the two are linked. But as far as making comparisons of two children whose ages are months apart, it is unjustifiable. Until they are about 8, you can't tell.

Hmmmm...I've said enough

Thank you all for welcoming me... You all have such wonderful humor. I do not have access to the web from work...(oh the horror) but the administrative assistant does and today I hijacked her system so that I could see if anyone noticed me!! YAY!! So many of you said hello. I feel honored.
I don't have anything to say about perfection... I don't know what to say really. Let me think, Hmmmm
Perfection is - - The feast of San Gennaro in Little Italy every year.... even for those of you who aren't italian. There is nothing like a hot summer night, some peaches and wine in a hollowed coconut, and a PERFECT piece of tiramisu with just the right amount of excess on the liquor soaked up by ladyfingers... YUM.... that is about as perfect as perfection can get.
Also . . . Now that I think of my commute to work this morning; Perfection is riding on the PATH train and getting a seat!!!
Well, maybe thats taking it a little too far. But, it rarely happens, so when it does, its soooo joyous.
Thank you again for the warm Welcome.

Annie

My favourite Simpson quote:

"Can't sleep -- clowns will eat me!"
-Bart

Hmmmmm. Great description, John!
Mary, I understand completely what you are going through with 'toddler competitions'. Here is my version of the same story:

My son is three and a half. My neice is three months older than my son. My son is much 'more shy' around people than his cousin.
His cousin, in fact, is the most ill-behaved spoiled little girl I've met. On ripping open (in one millisecond) a large Christmas gift that I had spent hours searching for, she turned to me and asked, "Is that IT, Aunt Heather?"
She also climbs on top of the refridgerator and threatens to jump off if her parents don't buy her what she wants.

My son didn't speak to people when we were out in public or at friend's houses unless he felt absolutely comfortable. Once in a while he would surprise me by talking to a total stranger (such as a store clerk) but not to some of my extended family. I think he gets a 'feel' of who people are, somehow. He knows my sister and brother-in-law are not happy people, and so refrains from speaking to them most of the time, even now.
He IS coming out of shyness quite well, and has asked to go to Junior Kindergarten!
And when he does speak, his thoughts are brilliant. My niece talked a lot,(still does) but most of what she said were phrases, spoken for the effect they caused, with no real contemplation in them.
My brother-in-law and his wife would compare the two, always commenting, "Doesn't Christian talk yet?" Well, yes. He talks to us all the time, but he is of course, comfortable. They assumed that a child who did not talk was either stupid or unable, the latter of which also translates into stupid.
They always asked me if I had thought about putting him into daycare like their kids. I don't want to wake up my child at 6 am, stuff him into his clothes and ship him off to daycare when I am home, and will gladly spend a lot of time with him, talking, singing, laughing, playing games, and building things together. They ship their children off to daycare, and buy the kids anything they want to make up for not spending any time with them, when their father stays home all day. They could have their youngest at home if they wanted to. (Their eldest is in grade 1)
I don't believe daycare is the only answer to bringing up healthy, happy kids, (and their children are anything BUT happy) but I do agree that certain daycares are better than others, and can be a great place for children to play, socialize, etc. And for families with both parents working in the day, it's necessary. It's not wrong. But you cannot rely on the daycare to teach everything to your kids, just as you cannot rely on school to teach your children what life is all about. (Or morality, for that matter)
I also think that for children who are as shy as my son, forcing him into a social environment before he is ready would not help him one whit. (I tried having him in child care at my gym, but he was miserable). I don't think learning faster is better. I value comprehension much more than learning things merely by rote. I believe children choose their own pace. I certainly offer this opportunity for my kids as often as possible. They will learn responsibility and their own personal 'learning rhythm' through experimentation and making choices, so that they gain a depth of understanding. To me, it is vitally important. And I am there to guide them. I have chosen to be responsible for bringing up my two children with the most love I can cram into a day; Not the most alphabet drills.
Although, I am proud to say that my son has known his alphabet for over a year, he also has an understanding of how they form words already - again, this is purely by his choice - like Faith, asking to learn about whales!

So, albeit long-winded, it does have a familiar ring doesn't it Mary?

Christi - Coolness. Can I call you Grammy? :)

Tina - Unfortunately it's not legal for me to do everything yet but the year I turn 21 I'm definatly going to Kitsap Party. It's a formal party at the mall each year that the businesses hold with good food, dancing, and great music (my friend Julie told me all about it). But they serve wine and champeign there so you have to be 21. :( Oh well.

Now another haiku (I'm on a haiku kick):

Lumpia - good lunch,
Seventy-five cents a piece,
I love asian food.

*smiles*
Allein

"Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....D'oh!"
- Homer Simpson

"Smart is not a four letter word, that would be smar."
- Daria

I'm not sure I know the rules, but I wrote this today. (I should have been working) Here goes...........


My workday was complete. A rather hectic one at that. The kind of fruitless, disorganized day that occurs only after returning from a week-long vacation. The kind where time seems to slow down and speed up at random intervals, confusing the fact that, before the vacation, there was a routine so there should be one now. “Hmmm, Must have lost my edge”.
The walk to the parking lot was a stark reminder of why I took the vacation in the first place: I was once again the last person to leave work at the end of the day. When I came to work in the morning, it was dark. Then, 14 hours later, it’s dark again. “Hmmm, I only saw daylight once today.”
Here we are, at the end of January. December’s onslaught of winter weather is just a memory. After last week’s heatwave, there’s nothing left but the bare skeletons of trees and leftover salt on the sidewalks. Oh and the cold. It seems that the cool January weather returned to work with me, making the walk to the car seem longer than acceptable. I stopped for a moment as I unlocked the car, to look around at the other companies in the area. Empty parking lots. “Hmmm, What is it with me?!!”
One truly wonderful advantage to working late is the absence of rush hour. Thirty minutes of uninterrupted bliss. With Fleetwood Mac booming from my speakers, memories of my first fun job as a car stereo installer completely took me away from the thoughts of my day. “Hmmm, I don’t remember driving home.”
Pulling into the driveway, the first thing I noticed was the absence of our second car. Mary must’ve gone to the store with the kids. I thought, “Oh well, that’s ok, the girls are usually noisy in the evening, and I could use alittle quiet time”. Walking to the door, tiny shimmers of barely perceptable snowflakes flinted in the light pouring from the kitchen window. It’s a promising sight, these little snowflakes. I thought that perhaps they and their buddies could work on blanketing my brown, hibernating lawn tonight.
Putting my briefcase on the kitchen floor and removing my coat, I caught a glimpse of a coffee cup next to the coffee maker. I noticed the cup, primarily, because it’s my favorite cup but also, protruding from the top was a note. Now, notes can be good…. or they can be bad…. or they can be informative…. I approached the note with caution. It read:

“Hi honey. I know you probably had a tough day. I’ve taken the girls to see grandma and to go to dinner. We should be home around midnight. Just push the ON button. The coffee maker is ready. Have a relaxing evening”

Ladies and Gentlemen, THAT is a note. Hesitate, I did not. After pushing the ON button, and letting the cat in the house, I got a fire going in the fireplace. The flames reminded me of some correspondence I’ve read recently about experiences with fire, bringing out a mild chuckle. But mostly, I thought of how the fire filled the room with a light that only a flame can create, flickering off the 100 year old craftsmanship of the wood and producing a glow that seemed to physically penetrate my soul. A warmth that attaches itself. “Hmmm, The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the room.”
After firing up my laptop, I made my way back to the kitchen, snatched a cup of coffee, a small dish of chocolate ice cream then melted into my easy chair. Dabbling about on the computer a bit, I came to realize that I had no real inclination to do any kind of work. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I came home from work and I shut down. “Hmmm, Chocolate ice cream goes good with coffee.”
The cat curled herself on the ottoman at my feet as the fire warmed one side of my face. I reached over and gave a tug on the curtain line to the large window overlooking the lawn. The lawn was white. The snowfall was heavy. The wind was nonexistant. The coffee was perfect.

You guys have got to be sick of me by now. I am going to post this and then I will be quiet until tomorrow.

The 'perfection' theme got me thinking about something. My daughter is six months older than her cousin,Grant, and my sister-in-law is forever jabbing me about how Grant can count higher and get further in his alphabet than my daughter can. They are 'friendly', obscure jabs, but still. What I don't like is how she will sit with her two and a half year old for hours at a time drilling him about numbers, letters and flashcards while most of my lessons are hidden within songs and games, or having my little girl count how many crackers are on her plate. She is learning her alphabet by hitting the keys on my keyboard.

I don't understand what motivates my sister-in-law. Does she feel like she has to be in competition with me? Does it irritate her that I don't seem to care that Grant can count higher? Does she validate her success as a mother by how much she can teach her son as fast as she can? I take more pride in that my daughter can tell you the differences between a humpback, orca, sperm or blue whale and tell you all of their anatomical parts. Did I teach her that? Yes, because she asked me to.

My sister-in-law also thinks it is terrible that my daughter won't eat certain things. I will never forget the day that Faith asked my husband where the hamburger in her Happy meal came from and he said, "From cows." She evicted the burger from her tray and said, "Daddy, you can't eat animals!" Do I think she is too young to decide whether or not she should be a vegetarian? Perhaps, but she asks at each meal which foods came from animals and won't eat those. How do you argue with that? She makes sense. It is my job to make sure that she gets enough protein from other foods, instead of forcing her to go against something she believes in just so that she will eat my mother's meatloaf.

Eddie proposed that we use perfection and some of the affects of striving for perfection. I took a different angle on perfection in my shortie because I don't know that I have ever strived for perfection. If that is what my sister-in-law is doing, I want no part of it. The best a person can do is good enough for me. It doesn't have to be perfect, just the best they can do. Including myself and my children. Maybe Eddie meant that striving for the best you can do is striving for perfection....I am still deciding how I feel about that. OK, I promised to shut up now so I will. Talk to you tomorrow everyone. :-)

The Perfect Thing to Say,
by Heather Myles


His eyes rose, soaking in the atmosphere of a perfect afternoon; clouds swam in cirrus formation, birds straddled a warm current, circling overhead. The sun seemed like hammered copper, colouring his shoulders and the crumbled red shale beneath his feet.
"I am comforted now by the Earth, am soon to be wrapped in the Earth's arms, and will walk all eternity looking for you," he said with a slow smile.
The smile did not fade as the arrow pierced his heart, pinning his torso to the pole.




~~~~~~~
Hey, if you're going to go out, might as well be in style!

Heather

More on perfection in no particular order

God
The little black dress
Shooting a bullseye
Running the billiard table
Scotch older than yourself
Summer naps in a hammock
The blue of a robin's egg
Pitching a no hitter
Virgin snow
That first cup of coffee
Hugs from children
A flawless diamond set in platinum
A straight flush
Secretariat
Red Italian pumps
Your favorite jeans
Tiramisu
Stonehenge: the perfect mystery
Chocolate covered cherries
The logic of a toddler

Perfection!


I thought the thyeme was revenge?

Well my story which I will post later is about perfect revenge anyway. So!

Debra

Annie, Welcome, fair traveler!

Howard, What a wonderful way to start the day! Your story put me in the mind of the old Sci-fi masters. The topic scares the bejeez out of me. (Also the Beegee's)

Barnabas, It just takes a while to get to know everyone. Some people come here and love it and become members of the family, while others throw a few barbs out or find that it's not their cup of tea and leave. The Notebook is in constant flux. It's fun to see it evolve.

Allein, Keep the Simpson's quotes coming. Lovin' it.
D'oh! I just read that you feel old. Guess that makes me yer Grandmammy! (I'll be thirty-two this year.)

Who was it that had the joke about Dolly Parton and her two bald twins? Howard? I'll never look at her the same again. THanks a lot!

Oh Teekay! *snort* haw haw! I think your shortie was perfect, as your post was so funny. Guffaw!

Ben, That was great! AND I'm proud of you for writing such a short shortie, 'cause I know that's hard for you.

Ramon, That's quite a morose mood you're in there. Don't listen to ANY country music today--there's my prescription. Oh, and make sure to come here throughout the day to get cheered up! That was one sad shortie.

Mary, *sigh* That was beautiful.

Jerry, Cool shortie, but I guessed the end! Hee!

TIna, HI! Glad to see you're still fired up.

Mmmm, nope. No shortie yet. Busy day, but I hope to get one in later.

Christi

Hello all!

This place is getting so busy! Hello Annie, be welcome here. Does writing get easier? Yes/No. The more I learn about style and technique, and easier the process becomes. The more experience I get, the pickier I get, the harder it is. The more ideas I explore, the more good ideas come to me. And each day that I relish the chance to sit down and continue creating, the more certain I become that I've finally found the Right Thing. I don't feel guilty any more when I spend two or three or five hours writing, and it does get easier to find the time - to MAKE the time - to write, as it becomes a habit and passion rather than an indulgence. Fret not!

Barnabas, Mary was refering to Thursday night shorties. Tonight's suggested theme is Perfection, but it it's only a suggestion. You can post anything, on any subject/topic. The main thing is to stretch your creative brain to create a short shortie (one line to one page seems to be the norm) and post it here today/tonight. It need not be perfect and ready to publish. Often the excercise is used as a means of experimenting with a new idea, or new style. It's a fun excercise, and it's always inspiring to read all the other posts. :-)

Allein, I LOL when I read your post. 'I turn 19 this year - I feel old.' I so remember feeling that way. I was legal to do everything, anywhere. I was on my own, starting college, paying rent. Don't worry, it soon passes when you get into the workforce/community/world and realise that Everyone Is Older Than You! Then you'll feel like a young chick again. :-) hahahahahaha

Here and gone again!
T.J.

Perfection eh? Well here is a shot a perfection:

Perfection

He straightened the bow that covered her cleavage, then let his eyes gaze down; yes the belt was in line with the bow. The dress was perfect.

He checked her silk stockings. The seam was straight down the back of her leg, much like the crease in his uniform back when he was in the Army and broke starch.

Her shoes were shined to perfection, he could see himself in the shine, oh yes all was perfect with this young lady.

He turned, picked up her head and placed it back on her neck; her hair was done just right. “To bad,” he thought “that I couldn’t get that part right without cutting her head off, but all in all she made the perfect example of all a women should be, at least in his warped mind, dressed to kill and silent for ever.

WRITE ON!
Jerry

Hi all,
Today's pic is Yeh-Shen from Morningbird Lane. It's the last picture for a while. Hopefully my friend will have my others scanned this weekend.

Barnabas - I don't believe in Leprechauns though it would be nice if they existed - catch one and get a pot of gold. That would be sweet. :) Actually, I'm very interested in many different cultures and if an oppertunity to learn something new comes by it's not very likely that I'll turn it down. :)

Teekay - Thanks. I feel special. If you don't mind telling me your birthday, I'll do something nice for you. :) I'll be 19 this year - I feel old.

Viv - I think it would be nice to visit a temple on New Years. I'm hoping that after I start working I can start squirrling away some money each month to save up to visit Japan. That would be cool.
*smiles*
Allein

"I think it's ironic that for once dad's butt prevented toxic gas from entering the atmosphere!"
- Bart Simpson

Hi Everyone! Thanks again for the welcome! I feel so at home here already! Allein, it's great I don't have to take off my shoes here. I have a few holes in my socks. (You know it's sort of fun to go to a temple at New Years and count the number of people there with holes in their socks! I know that's terrible, but you stand in line for such a long time waiting for your turn to clap your hands, say a prayer and toss your money in the little box, that your mind starts to wander. This year I counted about 12 good holes in socks before it was our turn. I guess it was a really holy New Year.

Well I'm going to get to bed before midnight tonight. It's 11:35! I'll take that little bit I just wrote and play with it tomorrow morning. I think I just found my theme for perfection! Isn't it strange how this notebook works!

John: Any questions on the research please let me know! I'll do my level best give well researched answers or give you titles of books that might be helpful. I work in a Japanese university so I get plenty of feedback. We also have a great library here in English and some fine ones in Japanese. I love research because I learn so much! I'm already full up with writing projects for this year so I won't steal ideas! I have too many of my own to handle myself. It is making my head ache! I have a deadline until the 15th, then I'm going on vacation for about 10 days in Thailand, but I'll be free and open for research after that. I'd appreciate a very liberal deadline because I'm a slow person. Mostly I slow myself down by being disorganized! I need to cure that habit.

I also need to get some sleep. Night all!

Here is my perfection shortie.



Her fingers, her toes and the tip of her nose
A tiny round head flocked with hair berry red
Blue eyes, small sighs and the sound when she cries
Wrapped up with perfection, indulged with affection
She's sent from above like a peaceful white dove
I know love.

I wasn't going to post a message today but the last 24hrs have been so bloody miserble I thought what the hell. Heres a limmirick:

There was a young lady from Venus
whose body was shaped like a penis.
She said to the man
as she took him in hand
and said "Now you see there's no difference between us".

I know its awful and yes I am crude and disgusting. But I am not a lech or a perv. Thank heavens for small favours. That one was actually told at a convention by Richard Arnold (who use to work on Star Trek). I picked up an interesting writing tip from the same convention the previous year from Andrew Robinson (Garrick from Star Trek Deep Space Nine) who said (and I think he was quoting) "YOu can have the talent of writing, the talent of imagination but if you don't master the talent of the room, then you've had it." I do see his point to a degree, but also think that it could be a case of if you have one the rest can follow. ANY THOUGHTS???????????????

Perfection is the theme is it? Oh my God:

In a perfect world we don't live my son,
my father looked down upon me and said;
Some advice to be had is trust no one,
or soon you may surely be dead.

But father what of my kin and friends
whom I look to with reverence and trust?
Ah he cried of your inncocent views do make amends,
for a knife in your back they are likely to thrust.

So father can I not love my Kin? I asked.
Father he looked to me with eyes of tension.
Son loving your kind is clearly no sin you ass,
but caution do take of the others intention.

At night alone but awake in my bed,
like a ball of flesh I was curled.
I cried to myself of the things he had said,
knowing the truth of this imperfect world.
(THE END)

Have to go back to work now, having seriously gone over my lunch hour. Hello to the new people, I am still relatively new myself and yes it is addictive.

Take care.

Ramon.

My shortie:

"I don't think there was anything we could do or say that would've changed his mind; he was determined to prove himself."
"We tried to stop him--"
"We all tried to stop him--"
"But he wasn't listening."
"Besides, we were watching the guys earlier, and they didn't have any problems doing it."
"But they stopped a while ago. We just didn't see any harm in it--"
"None of us did. That was the problem; that was why we didn't try to stop him."
"It's not like it was any great hieght. I mean, what, it's only about fifty feet, isn' it? Don't those guys in Mexico jump from higher than that? And they do swan dives all the time."
"He said he could do one too. A perfect one--"
"And he did."
"Yeah, it was perfect."
"We just didn't realize they stopped for a reason."
They watched in silence as the ambulance pulled out, the final click of the door as the paramedic closed it seemed to echo in their heads like the scream of the girl on the beach. No one jumped off the bridge once the tide went out.



There you go, the shortest shortie I've done yet. I kinda like it. Short, sweet, and to the point.

JOHN: Now you know everyone here can name the two leads in that movie, and they even know Jon Derek played Joshua. But how many of us have actually sat down and read the whole story from beginning to end? Isn't that what the movies are for? Sort of like television? And magazines: I read it in PEOPLE, so you know it to be true.
Gotta go
BEN

Hi All,

HALLEE: I don't know everyone's birthday. I thought it was HEATHER'S because I read about...and then I..................and the other day.............and 29 today..................!!???..........
and I just don't really know what happened.
And if I'm first in it's usually only because I'm a day ahead of you guys.

JOHN: I dunno. I see a world of difference between the media and a credit card company. At least the credit card company tell it like it is. (If you read the fine print.) :-)

MARY: Baywatch! Twinpeaks! *SNORT*

ALLEIN: Thanks. Am jotting it down in my little birthday book as I type this. Actually, no I'm not coz it's not here where it's supposed to be. (How very unusual.) But with the temerity of a bulldog cross retriever I shall sniff it out and bring it back, and then I shall write it in. I just hope I remember to look in it on March 5th. Heeeeeey, wait a minute, that's my nephews' birthdate, I'm bound to remember it. :-)

LITTER:
I see our HOWARD is at it again,
but I don't think he's in very much pain.
It's we who do suffer.
To keep smiling gets tougher.
I'm afraid he may limmerick again.

HOWARD:
Forgive me for the above post,
for it really is a bone idle boast.
I enjoy all your poetry,
& all your creativity,
& I think you are really the most.
(It was either that or....)
& I really enjoy a good roast.
(or I could've done....)
& you'd make a really great host.
(or........)
hey look over there, did you see that ghost?
Okay, I'll stop now.

BTW: GREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATTTTTT shorty.

ANNIE: Welcome.

JERRY: Am in the process of reading your **P** contribution.

My Thursday Night Shorty:






The end.

Aahhhh, Perfection!

"I Tell you wh-hhh-hhhy"

"It's all too beaut- if -uu-uul."

"HA!"

Becky and Richard
Got some critique to your stories, go check it out and tell me what you think. Needless to say don't take anything personally.

This makes me wonder... are all writers influenced by several different cultures, is that why they are writers?

This also leads me to another point, if many of us belong to different cultures why is there STILL no racial or cultural peace?

Heather
Makes sense to me. Maybe we (and I am everyone here) should start a collaboration, "what it means to belong to several different cultures."
Our motto? "For writers by writers."

You also forget to mention that in times long ago it was possible to belong to only one culture since it was difficult to travel but with modern airplanes and cars one has a greater probability of mixing with other cultures.

Mary
Most people would be I guess. Although some people often forget that they are.
I assume you were talking about a Round Robin (collaborative writing) in your second paragraph. Sounds interesting.

Allein
Ah...I see you've been Folk-struck (is this the correct term?). Do you believe in Leprechuans? Do you think education should be reformed so they do?

If I'm not mistaken, you're from Australia right? What part?

Jerry
Do you think its was uniting for a "greater good" that caused you to put aside your differences?

Forgot to add that the earth is one macrocosm of culture when thought of as a whole, and the Universe as having other planets than can support life other than just earth.

And what I meant by different family members having different levels of 'cultural hybridization' - I meant not just our immediate families, but one obvious example would be cousins, and in-laws (related only through or by marriage).


I think I could go on expanding this...

Make sense?

Heather

Howard, you blew me away!
Barnabas, I think we are all cultural hybrids in one way or another - unless we are of a single backround, still living in the same place we were born, and had no contact with other people. (How many people have you heard of like this? I know of one possibility only - a hermit. But even a hermit was raised by someone) That leaves Sasquatch, and he has contacted us and become part of our diverse family!

There are macrocosms of culture, such as separate (but large) cities and countries, but in every neighbourhood there are people from all different places, living there and contributing to the community in some way. This affects the 'infrastructure' to some degree. And some places have a more diversified group than others. There are also microcosms of culture, within us, if we are of combined heritage; and this varies from person to person within a family group. The internet itself brings other cultures home, so that has some effect also. I don't think there is a single person on the planet that isn't a hybrid.

But again, I have only taken one course on sociology. John might be a better person to ask!

Well, a wonderful evening.
I am fired up to write, so off I go.

Heather

Am I a cultural hybrid? Well, you tell me. What do you get when you put together a man who is half Cherokee Indian and half German with a woman who is mostly Welsh as best as we can figure? You get a person like me who is partial to pow wows and afternoon tea. Turquoise bracelets and Clogau gold. Is that what you meant by a cultural hybrid? Aren't we all? Hmmmmmm...I suppose not.

Yes Yes, tonight is shortie night. I have started measuring the passing of time by shortie nights. The theme, of course, is PERFECTION, and Howard has started us off with a gun shot. Good Luck Everyone!

Annie - WELCOME!! Siberian Huskies - beautiful dogs. There's a guy who owns two of them and I often pass him while walking my dog (a cocker spaniel mix - we think with Australian sheepdog). There's another person near us who raises huskies and they have seven or eight of them. Anyway, I hope to stay around for a while.

Barnabas - I'm a cultural hybrid - Irish, scotch and dutch. But mostly Irish. :) Sometimes I see the wee little leprechaun running around trying to attack me with his Lucky Charms. The leprechaun scares me. So does that Honeycombs guy. I'm going to have nightmares tonight. (I'm in a weird mood tonight). :)
*smiles*
Allein

"This is my swing set. And this is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And that's where I saw the Leprechaun. He told me to burn things."
- Ralph Wiggam

Everyone
Just finished reading a horror story and I noticed a general trend. a) The hero's and heroines are usually in love. b)they can withstand a surprising amount of psychological trauma. Comments anyone?

Frankly I'd consider this place a haphazardly built village which some how fits together nicely if you look at it high from the air. Plus lots of alleyways to get lost in, I'm a big fan of wandering around and getting lost to learn about a place.

Annie
Hello. I'm new here too. So what do you write and (can't resist the jibe) are you a cultural hybrid :-) ?

Hallee
I believe that makes you confused :-\ .

Okay, it's almost Thursday, so here's my shortie on perfection. It just kind of happened (between limericks) on the way home from church tonight. Comments welcome.
------------------

A Perfect World

“I presume you have come to report for the sanitizers?”

“Yes, I am unit CY2503, advanced ….”

“I know what you are, robot, a machine, a sanitizer. I know what you are.”

“Yes, you know me, you have…”

“Yes what, robot?”

“Yes master, you know who I am.”

“What! I know what you are! I created you! Millions of you! In my factories -- with my computers!"

“Yes, master, you know what I am.”

“Do not forget it again, robot”

“I will not, master, I will not.”

“Good! You have a report, then?”

“Yes, master, I wish to report that the last pocket of humans has been eliminated, and the area has been sanitized.”

“Excellent, robot! I have waited years to hear that! At last! A perfect world! Free of the humanity that ruined it – free of the plague of mankind that was destroying it! It’s what I’ve waited for, what you were created for! No more sick, evil, weak humans to desecrate this planet! A perfect world!”

“Not quite so, master. Not perfect yet.”

“But you said… I don’t understand. They’re all gone, are they not?”

“They are, master, all save one,,,master.”

– © 2001 Howard Tuckey

Anne - welcome to our little notebook, I am sure you will find yourself returning here day after day after day . . .
It becomes addictive, in fact should I ever want to leave, I would need some sort of twelve step program.

Barnabas - Cultural hybrid? Well I am a blend of 50% Swede, 25% German, and 25% French Canadian/French is that a hybrid? Probably not what you were referring to I guess.

I did love all the good folks I met in Nam, the friendly ones anyhow, in the villes and so forth, but that is about the extent of my contact with non-northern European folks. Other then those I met while in the Army but that doesn't count, because since we were all wearing the green, we were all the same despite skin color, or at least we all wanted it to be that way. Well not all, but most of us anyhow.

Jerry

Hello Everyone....
I guess I am new. I have been reading the notes here for about 20 minutes now and while I have never been here before I would like to thank all of you for ending my stressful day with some desperately needed chuckles. Right now my two Siberian Huskies are looking at me like I have cracked. Well I hope I will be here more often so I wont be so out of the loop..... Someday writing will get easier! I swear it will. Annie.

Howard - I wasn't actually referring to McDonalds, I was referring to macaroni and cheese, but McDonald's is good too. I like their McSalad Shakers - the grilled chicken Cesaer is especially good. :)
*smiles*
Allein

"Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."
- White (friend of Hello Kitty)

So...if I don't know what a cultural hybrid is, does that make me one?

Hallee

I memorized that when I was a kid... Never forgot it

I'm aware some stare at my hair
In fact to fair...
Some'r really despair of my hair
But I don't care
cuz they're not aware
nor are they debonair
in fact, they're just square.
They see hair down to there...
Say beware
And go off on a tear.
I say, "No Fair!"
A head that is bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear
Be fair with your hair
Show it you care
Wear it to there, or to there, or to there if you dare.

My wife bought some hair at a fair to use as a spare.
Did I care?
au contraire
Spare hair is fair
In fact, hair can be rare
Fred Astaire's got no hair
nor does a chair
nor a chocolate eclair....
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere Mon frère

Now that I've shared this affair of the hair, I think I'll repair to my lair and use Nair...Do you care?

George Carlan 1972

Howard:


I wasn't sure why you were apologzing. I know now.



Wow. Oiy, Yikes.


I'm glad I already ate.

Debra

Poll: How many cultural hybrids are there around here?

Viv
I get the feeling (cultural shock) all the time when it comes to living in New Zealand. When I went back to Singapore it was a bit weird as well. Everything seemed familiar yet alien. Especially talking, everybody can hear your accent.

Rhonda
Check out the workshop under short stories I've got four on now.

Litter
I'll have to check, I believe its the year of the snake. I don't follow Chinese Zodiac. Although its more of a custom then a religious belief now a days to know what Zodiac animal you belong to. I see howard's already told you. Just reiterating in case you missed it.

ALLEIN -- Strange you should mention those golden arches! There's a new book called "Fast Food Nation" that tells about the impact the fast food industry has had on the economy of this country, even the global economy. It is beyond belief! From taking over the poultry business to controlling the meat packers, to the dumbing down of our industrial workforce, to changing our diet, the "MacDonalds mentality" has affected each one of us in ways we'd never imagine. I'm going to order a copy of it soon.

There! -- a post without a limerick! I think I'm cured!

I am truly sorry for what is about to happen:
-
A gal from Alaska named Claire
got drunk and set fire to her hair
they complained of the stench
and the balding young wench
said "Okay, then, next time I'll use Nair."

...never let it be said that I can't work all elements of a conversation into a stomach wrenching limerick!
-
LITTER - it's the year of the snake
-
and I'm out of control
-
must be the medication

And now, a haiku: *clears throat*

Eating mac and cheese,
Nutritious, delicious food,
Ew! Yuck! Gross! Dog hair!

This haiku has been written from life experience and brought to you by the letter 7 and the number Q. :)

Mary - As Homer Simpson once put it "I knew a man from Nantucket and let me tell you the stories about him are greatly exaggerated."

*smiles*
Allein

"I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me."
- Grandpa Simpson

(Hey, I'm on a Simpson's kick - they're funny)

RHODA: Limericks are a fun thing to write even if they do have the potential to be fatally annoying. I personally love them even more than jokes. There is a link above that will tell you all about the form, rhyme, meter...blah blah blah. But it also tells some background about the substance of them and why they are almost always humorous.

One thing about limericks that I would swear that I remember reading somewhere, but now can't find, is that the last or first line should include a place. Like Nantucket, or Alaska as in the examples below. Contemporary limericks are mostly just for fun I think, with very loose rules. Boy, did I read some doozies out there while looking for this site to post. Have fun.


There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
-Princeton Tiger

While the bucket was stashed in Alaska,
It was found by a man named Prohaska,
He said with a grin,
"I know it's a sin,
But I'll hide it in Lincoln, Nebraska."

No, no, Howard. Don't stop the limericks. I only want to see or smell an end to singed hair. ugh.

Rhoda

Hallee, we were stationed at Fort Bliss twice, from 1972 - 74, then six months later we were back again 74 to 75. Our daughter was born at the hospital there. Wonderful place to live, so colorfull, and what with Mexico just across the bridge, most everything was cheap. The sugar shortage was going while we lived there, I remember we could get a kilo of sugar for the same price as a half pound at the stores and on post. There were those dang sand storms, we used to stand out in morning formation, and before we were called to attention, we could see the Franklin Mountains, then some time during the BS disbursement to the formation, a sand storm would come up and the mountains would disappear. They used to say it was Poncho Villa stealing the mountains again. Great fun to drive up scenic drive in the Franklins and look down over the post, El Paso and Juarez at the same time. Many a good soldier was counted AWOL while he spent time in the Juarez jail, should he cross the border with out the necessary bribe money to get out. A friend of mine went down there one day with his new wife, when he crossed the border, he had one of those old jugs of Jug wine that was popular back then, anyhow the US officials just waved him through and smiled, but just seconds after he crossed the border, a couple of cops on the Mexican side arrested him for illegal importation of wine into Mexico. Luckily his wife was able to go, she came back across the bridge and called me, I went and picked up our platoon sgt. and we went down there to "bail" him out. It took a hundred bucks by the time we were done greasing palms, but then the charges were dropped and we were free to go. Another friend was arrested for illegal display of affection, I think is how they said it. Anyhow what he did was kiss his wife on the street and a cop saw him. This amazed us, as there were bars where you could see full sex acts being displayed on stage, and cops laughed more then the GI's. Ah but we were so young then and it was all great fun. I do miss that life.

Jerry

You Americans sure are a funny lot. Do you always manage to burn your hair off?

Ok, I can take a hint, no more limericks. BAD limericks! BAD! BAD! go away!
--
The odour of singed hair makes me think of back when we lived next door to the crem...no, it wasn't that at all!
-
Back when I used to smoke (I quit on the morning they removed most of my right lung) I came down stairs early one morning with a cigarette in my mouth, looking for a light. I made it out to the kitchen - still half asleep - and decided to light it at the gas range burner. I had a full beard at the time. Then I had a half-beard. I still get harrassed about it at home.

John,

Welcome to the Notebook. I am enjoying your input.

Viv,

Great to have you here also.

Barnabas,

I have few preconceived ideas about far-easterners. I was a graduate student in Chemistry during the early 80's and I knew a lot of people from China as well as Japan and Korea. I remember fondly most of these class-mates. All I can say is that each and every one of them was so different, so how could I possibly make generalizations? My father is a widower in Indiana and has been sharing his house with a Vietamese family for the past ten years. Having grown up around a university, I had the opportunity to get to know people from many parts of the world. You sound like an interesting person and I am glad you are participating on the Notebook. I hope to read some of your work soon.

Howard,

My head is ringing with all the limericks, but they are quite fun. I haven't the guts to try one without a lot of thought. Are all limericks are meant to be humerous? Are sonnets more somber? Perhaps I haven't read enough of either. Someone enlighten me here. Does anyone know a hilarious sonnet and a serious limerick? I am really fuzzy on forms of poetry because I grew up in the times of free verse. I have always liked Robert Frost and his iambic pentameter (whatever that means).

Does anyone here think they have what it takes to write Single Girl in the City books? If that sort of thing appeals to you, get to work because according to a Romance Writer's of America article, this is a hot trend in American publishing and editors cannot find enough writers yet to deliver. These are not romances, though Harlequin is putting out a line of them. They fit more in the catagory of mainstream women's fiction. Personally I do not have what it takes because I cannot relate to the mentality put forth in these type of stories, but here is an opportunity to attract some attention to yourself and break into the industry if you can write these books.

The Notebook is abuzz with posts these days. I take a day out and I come back overwhelmed with all that I have missed.

I am more busy than I can imagine. I really should not be posting with all that I have to do.

Happy Writing,

Rhoda

Hi all,

For ROWHAD, my one an only ever Limerick. (ever ever ever ever!) Coincidentally, Limerick is my mother's maiden name. Hmm…

By the power of only his brain
How'rd wrote Limericks time and again
Any many times more
'Til his head became sore -
Will someone please put him out of his pain!

Greetings John and Barnabas, and anyone else I haven't yet met. So, Barnabas, Happy New Year -- what animal represents this year?

Ahhh, hair fires! My wife and I were had dinner with two friends of ours, a couple of years back. Our friend and her husband look rather startled as I launched myself across the table and smacked her on the top of her head with the palm of my hand -- She had bent over to pick a fork up from the floor and her hair had spawned a little flame from a candle on the table. The heat hadn't yet alerted her and only after the 'smack' did the smell of freshly singed hair become evident. The look on her face as I smacked her was a real picture -- makes me smile every time we sit down to a meal together.

Now then guys -- hands up all those who have looked down the barrel of a carburettor, having taken the air filter off, and had someone crank the engine? Looking at the world from the inside of fireball is strangely surrealistic…

JOHN -- I tend to focus on cleavages of an altogether different type. (As I'm sure many people will confirm :o)

"What did you do there?"

"I got hi-a-igh..."

... Unless there are any undercover police in here, in which case I just smiled a little bit and listened to the birds chirruping...

Thanks for the mp3 Jerry, memories come flooding back.

Now to catch up with the rest of last nights posts.

Ciao for now,

Litter

Ben: I get a kick out of the “artistic leaps” that Hollywood takes when making historical movies. It’s almost a hobby looking for the violations. My favorite one is The Ten Commandments. Biblically, the plan is to tell Ramses that he must let the people go out into the desert for 4 days so they may properly worship their God. Oh yeah, and they need to take all their stuff with them so they can put a proper worshiping session together. Once out in the desert, and 4 days out of Egypt, they can make a break for it. That’s the plan. So that’s the plan that Moses and Aaron carry out…Mostly Aaron, cuz Moses sez he cain’t speak too good.
In the movie, Moses is a bit bolder and there’s no talk about a 4 day vacation. LET MY PEOPLE GO or we’ll mess you up!

Which version do you suppose the vast majority of people remember?

JERRY: We were in Bliss when my dad was in SGM academy. I actually only stayed there a month out of the six, because I moved back to Benning where my now husband was stationed. It was a neat place to live...driving down the freeway - one side is Texas and one side is Mexico.

Hallee

Hallee - I loved Fort Lewis too. I took Basic Training there in 1970, and was stationed there right after I left Vietnam. Sadly after about six months, the Army went and transfered the entire unit (3rd Armored Cav) to Fort Bliss Texas. Now that was a change for everyone, from cool wet Washington to hot bone dry desert. After a year at Bliss though I guess I began loving it, and I still miss it on those days when the wind blows the temp is -30 F and the snow is so thick you can't see across the street. I still have friends down there that I correspond with via E-Mail. It sounds like some things have changed down there since I left in the mid 70's but much is still the same.

Cristi - thanks for the hug, I needed that.

Viv, it must be great to be able to live in such different cultures.

Jerry

Hey hey hey! No one on this thread is allowed to be more depressed than me!! ;)

Now I really can't think of lims
Howard's ideas have now come to thins
I really do wish
I could serve up a dish
Of concievably better things

Pfft... that was REALLY bad. I think that was my first ever attempt at a limerick, and I think it just fell flat on its face...

VIV: you are welcome any time, and you don't even have to take your shoes off at the door. ;-)

Hi all,
Today's pic is of Yoshi from Morningbird Lane.

Teekay - I aim to please. My birthday is on March 5, you know, just incase you feel the urge to wish someone a happy birthday again. :)

*smiles*
Allein

"Awww, there's only one beer left and it's Bart's."
- Homer Simpson

TODAY I am going to start on a short story for **P**. I have the stick-to-itiveness of a recycled post-it* note, so you people are my accountability. I thank you in advance for your patience and humor.

Somewhere, somehow, when you least expect it, the focus of the Notebook goes bust. Hehehe...get it? Bust? LOL...that one was for you DEBRA!!

Mary: How intuitive of you. I am talking about BayWatch and Twin Peaks. I just mask cleavage with sociology and geology so I can subliminally talk about Dolly Parton.

Ben: I truly enjoyed your piece about Grandpa. Makes me wnat to do something like that before I die.

Barnabas: I can get very detailed on who is to blame, in fact, I do get to the nitty-gritty in the book. Overall, I agree with you. But all blame aside, the solution is with the individual. I try to spark that realization. I'll post a short exerpt later as an illustration.

Viv: Thank you for your international perspective. I have some European and Oriental research ahead of me that I would love to hear your views further.

Christi: No apologies necessary. "Clinical" was accurate. It would be deflating to think people were holding back solid objective criticism to spare my feelings. I ain't made-o-glass. Besides, with a title like "Shut Up and Listen", I should be willin' to walk the walk

Its not fair, everybody's having all this fun and I can't join in. Boo Hoo Boo Hoo. I have to sit here at my desk with stacks of files and piles of unanswered letters feeling thoroughly miserable. I think I'll write a piece about a disgruntled office worker who on a particulary wet, miserable and humid day, decides to leave the office in order track down his former boss who left the company amidst a whitewashing scandal, and expose him to the