Archived Messages from March 14, 2001 to March 19, 2001

 


Mary Mon Mar 19 19:04:03 PST 2001

I just remembered something I read a while back that author's do when they want to be notified when their manuscripts have been received. They enclose (besides for the SASE for returning the ms) a stamped self-addressed post card. The editor just pops it in with the rest of the outgoing mail from the office and bingo....you know they got the ms without any pesky certified mail.

I read a quote one time by an editor that said he read a ms once that he probably would have passed over simply because the stamps on the return SASE were paper-clipped on, instead of permanently affixed. It intrigued him that the author was so confident in his work that he knew he wouldn't be getting the ms back, and wanted the editor to be able to use the stamps instead of adhering them to what would have been a wasted envelope. The editor did, in fact, send back the ms, but the stamp trick got the guy read, where otherwise he might not have been. Just thought that was interesting. :-)


Jerry Mon Mar 19 18:37:45 PST 2001

BANKY - there are different reasons why folks write I guess. I only recently began writing, oh maybe six or seven years ago. Why did I start? Well I was in Voc Rehab going to college for the first time in my life, and studying Law for paralegals. We were required to take the basic college load in addition to our legal studies, and of course we had to take English Composition 101. I discovered that, first of all, I could write, and secondly it made me feel good and provided a means for me to escape.

At that time I needed to escape as my career was pulled from under my feet due to an accident, my kids were of the age that they needed mom and dad's help to get out of the minor scrapes they encountered growing up. Workers Comp and Social Security were standing back to see what my doctors were going to do, meanwhile I was without pay. The federal government was foreclosing on my home because I was behind on payments (FmHA).

I still write for some of those reasons, in fact just today I got a letter from IRS telling me that since the Fed sold my house for less then it was worth, they were keeping my income tax refund of a little over $800.00, money that we were counting on to catch up on some bills.

Now that I have been a writer for some time, I find that characters come to live in my head and torment me daily until I sit at my computer and allow them to escape onto the page. I write because it gives me a sense of self worth, that I am giving something back to the world that has given me so much.

Last summer I was walking through the campground at Fort Lincoln near Bismarck ND, and looking at the huge campers belonging to those who make much more money then I ever will now that I am living on the fixed income of Social Security and Workers Comp. A idea hit me, all I have to do is write one good best seller, and I can own one of those instead of the twenty five year old camper we pull behind my ten year old pickup. Now all I have to do is start that best seller and have it published by next summer and my dream can become a reality.

Jerry


Teekay Mon Mar 19 17:30:00 PST 2001

MARY: WOW!!!! Good story. Loved the ending, it was certainly unexpected. Can't say anything more, I may give away some stuff.
Trying to think of a title too.


Teekay Mon Mar 19 17:19:26 PST 2001

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!

Got behind in the posts again ~sheesh~

BEN: Funny, while I was reading your post about wearing a hat, I WAS wearing a hat - and I don't wear hats, which makes this a rather bizarre coincidence.
It's not a stylish hat though, it's one of those raffia numbers - like you care. :-)

BANKY: If you have an itch, you just gotta scratch it. That's why I write.
Welcome!!!!!!

MARY: That story is for yet another competition. There really are quite a lit going here. I just hadn't a clue where to find them.

RHODA: I agree with you re; the submissions.

Hello to all new and not so new and downright old folk here at the BIG 'N'.
Bye to all above. I've really got to go and do some stuff.


Heather Mon Mar 19 17:14:24 PST 2001

Mary - your story is excellent! I'm thinking on the title....



:o)

Heather


SusanS susanshock@yahoo.com Mon Mar 19 16:50:17 PST 2001

Katrina-My knowledge of 1940s medicine is very limited, although I did write a detective novel set in the 40s. It was actually easier than setting the novel in the present day because DNA analysis and forensics are a little confusing to me, even though I watch just about every forensic science show on television. I can tell there were no paramedics in the 1940s and I don't think ambulance attendants were trained in first aid or life saving techniques. Antibiotics were a pretty recent development also. Wish I could be more help. I enjoy writing mysteries set in the 20s, 30s and 40s. I know a lot about popular culture of that period. It helps having an MA in history.

Banky, I don't know how to answer that question either. I just like to write. That's what I tell people. I get questions like that at work sometimes because I often write on my breaks or when I have to punch in. Sometimes I get more writing done at work than at home. Probably cause I hate my job and it allows me to escape the drudgery even for a few minutes. Personally I don't feel the need to answer the question as to why I write. I just do.

Taff, that really must have sucked to lose all that info. I think you should continue to write the story. Try to do just a little every day. Eventually the story will start to flow. You never know, what you produce now might be better.
I've been lucky that never happened to me, partly because I do all my first and second drafts in longhand. That sounds crazy I know, but I've never been very comfortable writing on the computer. I almost had a similar disaster several years ago. I went down to the computer lab on the campus of Central Michigan University where I was a graduate student, to print out a copy of my thesis, because my printer at home at the time wasn't letter quality. Anyway, I picked up a computer virus which wiped out my thesis on my two discs. Fortunately I had a copy on the hard drive at home. I still shudder to think about that near disaster.

Well, I've babbled on enough for today.

SusanS


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Mon Mar 19 16:47:38 PST 2001

Viv - I got it at school. The guy with the birthday is Flipino and so is his girlfriend and his girlfriend made lumpia and brought it in. I think it was pork lumpia but I'm not sure.
There are about 3 different places here that sell lumpia because there are a lot of Filipino people here. So it's easy to get it. I love lumpia. :)
I would send you some but...no it wouldn't get rotten it would get eaten before I reached the post office. :)
*smiles*
Allein


Heather Mon Mar 19 16:44:32 PST 2001

Debra: "Let's all go to the movies, let's all go to the movies, (repeat) ...and get ourselves a treat."
Walking popcorn and soda cups, etc.

Mary, I would LOVE to meet you! October. Hmmmm - calendar is empty so far, with the exception of Halloween! BUT I hate driving to T.O... but it'll be worth the harrowing, lip-bitten moments and ramrod swerve-and-bird drivers. Really! I'll remember to tape up my middle finger just for the highway 401 occasion.
Going to read your story now!

Heather


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Mon Mar 19 16:15:52 PST 2001

HEATHER: I have been trying to email you the story, but my email account is down and I can't even get to my address book.

It's posted in the short story workbook. After some of the comments I have received so far today, I feel a little more comfortable with posting it now. It's not titled as yet, so any comments about the story, or suggestions for a title are more than welcome. It's only a little over a thousand words...quick read.

VIV: It's in the Workbook, Short story section. :-)


Viv Mon Mar 19 15:25:32 PST 2001

Allein- Ohhhhh yummy. Where'd you get the lumpia? I really want some right now and it's not even 7:00 AM. Isn't that weird, one word can spark such and intense wish for something! What kind of lumpia are you eating, shrimp, beef, vegetable or pork?

Mary- I want to read your story too but I can't find it. Where is it? I seem to be missing something because I'm not finding any current short stories in the notebook. I was wondering what happened to Barnabas because he's always got a new one in the Notebook. I like reading Heather's work too and it's not there. Are you guys talking about another place you posted or did I miss something when Jack did the site renovation?

Just as you are taking mothers and children from your writing, I'm taking out any reference to Japan. It is a little frustrating but interesting. I'm going about it by making fuzzy backgrounds and filling them in with a lot of characters and talk. I want to write using "Anywhere'sville" because then people can feel like it's MY town/My experience.

Taff Harris: I know what you are doing! Stop thinking about how good the old stuff was. You'd revised that old stuff you'd written several times. Begin by simply thinking about what you want to write. Start like you are starting from scratch. Trust yourself. YOU CAN DO IT! The end product will be better. This time if you loose the attitude that the old was better, you will find that it will go easier because you have experience and you've thought out your research.

This loosing stuff happens to everyone. It's depressing but the reality is that you learn you CAN do it again. Right now you are just scared. Don't be. You have that talent & experience in your fingertips. Start NOW by just getting the first 3 chapters roughed out. Then take yourself out to coffee in a nice public place because they'll look bad to you and you'll want to just scream, cry, pull the covers over your head. Realize that all it takes is to revise those chapters, just like the first time you did it.

Start in with the red pen and rewrite it all right there in the coffee shop. Get up the next morning and rewrite again. Once you have the first five chapters back you'll be writing again. It WILL NOT be the same. You can't do that. Thank God you aren't a Xerox machine. It will come out better although you might not feel that way at the time. Once in a while you do find a copy of the original and you look at it and compare it to your new stuff and say...."Wow, I was wrong. This old stuff is really terrible."

Hang in there. And don't believe everything about the perfection of copy and back up. I've done that too and invariably, the disc is missing, blank, or damaged. Life is messy. Things screw up. The only thing constant is the fact that you have that talent in your fingertips. If you hang in there, you will just get better and better. These foul ups are the things that make you versatile. You can't really write until you've lost stuff a million times and rewritten it. It sure hurts though. Everyone here can sympathize!

Post what you write as you go and we can all encourage you.

Viv


Viv Mon Mar 19 15:04:24 PST 2001

Allein- Ohhhhh yummy. Where'd you get the lumpia? I really want some right now and it's not even 7:00 AM. Isn't that weird, one word can spark such and intense wish for something! What kind of lumpia are you eating, shrimp, beef, vegetable or pork?

Mary- I want to read your story too but I can't find it. Where is it? I'm also trying to write about things other than just my daily life. I want to get away from this "Japan-setting" monotony. I want to do things based in places where people actually READ books in English for fun and not for study. The problem is, I haven't seen Australia, I saw England twice in a big hurry, I have never seen Canada except for a ferry trip to Vancouver for a couple hours, and America is extremely fuzzy. It is a little frustrating but I'm going about it by making fuzzy backgrounds and filling them in with a lot of characters and talk. I want to write using "Anywhere'sville" because then people can feel like it's MY town/My experience.

Taff Harris: I know what you are doing! Stop thinking about how good the old stuff was. You'd revised that several times. Begin by simply thinking about what you want to write just start like you are starting from scratch. This time it will go easier because you have experience and you've done the research. This loosing stuff happens to everyone. It's depressing but the reality is that as you do it again, you learn you CAN do it again. Right now you are just scared. Don't be. You have that talent & experience in your fingertips. Start by just getting the first 3 chapters roughed out. Then take yourself out to coffee in a nice public place because they'll look bad to you and you'll want to just scream, cry, pull the covers over your head. Realize that all it takes is to revise those chapters, just like the first time you did it.

Start in with the red pen and rewrite it all right there. Get up the next morning and rewrite again. Once you have the first five chapters back you'll be writing again. It WILL NOT be the same. You can't do that. Thank God you aren't a Xerox machine. It will come out better although you might not feel that way at the time. Once in a while you do find a copy of the origional and you look at it and compare it to your new stuff and say...."Wow, I was wrong. This old stuff is really terrible."

Hang in there. And don't believe everything about the perfection of copy and back up. I've done that too and invariably, the disc is missing, blank, or damaged. Life is messy. Things screw up. The only thing constant is the fact that you have that talent in your fingertips.

Post what you write as you go and we can all encourage you.

Viv


Mary Lou evans_hagen2@prodigy.com Mon Mar 19 14:38:38 PST 2001

Christi and Rhoda: Glad I'm not the only unethical writer in the business. All jokes aside, several well-published authors have advised aspiring writers to submit, submit and submit, thereby ignorning the simultaneous bit. The chances that two houses will want your work at the same time are very small. From most of the responses I have received from editors, I don't feel I owe them a thing. That's not to say I haven't had a few very nice replies, but they are certainly in the minority.

Debra: Hope I don't come across as a hard old gal with a negative attitude. I have paid a certain amount of dues to hold the opinions I do.


Debra Mon Mar 19 14:34:09 PST 2001

Anyone:

I'm trying to remember the little jingles from the drive in's. Remember them? They were so cool with the walking food an the corny music. If anyone remembers some of the words let me know.

Kitty or anyone:

As far as linear is concerned, I think I would just take my chances if I decided to send out more than one manuscript at a time. I find myself really impatient at times and on other occasions not. So I might just play it by ear. If I start feeling cagey, I'll send it out again to someone else. That's the plan, at the moment. I do have three young adult books finished. The third one is finished as far as a publisher seeing what is all about, but I add more stuff on a daily basis. So if anyone wanted to see it I could send it out, but I would have to sit down and really finsih up adding all the little thoughts that are still left. That wouldn't be a problem if I ever got a bite.

I'm really extited at the moment because I just got Stephen King's new book about writing. I cant' wait to tear into that. I'm just counting the minutes until the kids go to bed.


Mary:
By the way, we do have a lot in common, because I just started a short story that has nothing to do with women or mothers or kids. I want to expand. That's what your story is all about for you. Right? You did it so well too!


Debra


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Mon Mar 19 13:57:39 PST 2001

HEATHER: If you were worried about people thinking you were creepy about your loneliness shortie, then you know how relieved I am that nobody is freaking out about my story. :-)

Yes, I have never seen a publisher who liked simult. subs. either.

I am going to be in Toronto for three days this coming October...the beginning of the third week I believe. Anybody around there care to toss a few back and chew some cud with me? I am pretty sure that no matter what country I go to, I am legal age to drink...sighs. But seriously, I would just love to meet some of you guys...let me know. :-)


Heather Mon Mar 19 13:50:19 PST 2001

Mary: Yes, indeed, you are right. If the publisher states that they accept simult subs, then I would not hesitate. Of the publishers on my top ten list (most compatable) none of them accept simult subs, however! During my research on publishers I noticed that only about 1 of 30 accepted simult subs. Simult subs. I kind of like that short form.

About your story, Mary, SEND IT ON!!! I'm surprised nobody thought I was being creepy when they read my loneliness shortie.

About the linear approach (Kitty, I think this is in response to your post) I agree wholeheartedly to get as much product out there as possible. I wouldn't consider it simultaneous if what I was sending was not multiple copies of the same ms. Good idea to make that cut and dried!

Oh, and I'm from Ontario, South Western area. About an hour from Toronto. I remember you saying you were from Quebec - what an incredible province. I have loved every one of my visits there.

Rachel! Thanks for giving Sebastian's toes special kisses for me! I am beginning to think that the whole world must have a foot fetish. Nothing else explains it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~distraction break~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My veiled chameleon (Cosimo) is farting around in the ficus tree behind me as I'm typing and his rustling is distracting me. Any minute his little feet will find carpet and he'll be escaping again. His favourite hangout, besides the tree in the front window, is to become partially wedged inside my printer. Go figure: It's a colour printer and he's colourful. How he gets up on my desk is a tricky matter - he climbs the cables and cords in back of the computer and shimmies onto the desk! I just hope he gets too big to hide in there soon so I don't accidentally print him to death.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~break over

Welcome BANKY: I write because the characters and their stories will not leave me alone until they've been expressed. And because I LOVE IT. But, if no other words come to mind, "Because" is always a good reply!

TAFF: I have been there. The exact spot. Here are the defining questions: Do the characters still come to life in your mind? Do they still have a story to tell? If you answered yes to both of those Q's, start again. Start now. But be very careful to back everything up on disk, and print it out every time you add a new page or so (or just print the new page if you haven't changed anything ahead of the new section). I save my novel on four disks, four places on my harddrive, and in paper form. I know that sounds labourious, but believe me, it's worth it. At the very least you still have a copy to re-type from. Chin up! You may find, as I did, that the story comes out far better the second time around. If this is redundant, forgive me!

Off now,
Heather





Christi Mon Mar 19 13:35:09 PST 2001

Ah poopy. Mary, I had a whole note written for you and it disappeared. Not that it was a work of genius or anything. Your story was fantastic. I've emailed you. I read it for enjoyment, not even thinking of critiquing. I never critique unless asked to.
PS Bet if you ran a check of my posts you'd find that they take up 50% of the notebook right now! =) I'm shutting up after this one.

Kitty, Ahhhh. (Heaven's gates opening--light pouring into my brain.) I had not thought of a letter informing of your acceptance. Still, wouldn't that make things even more difficult for the editor, having to hold onto the letter until they come across your manuscript? I'm not trying to be difficult here, I really want to know!
And I agree with you all the way that there's nothing wrong with having as many manuscripts out there as a writer wants. All the better! I actually prefer to send several things out at a time; it makes me feel more productive and like I have more of a chance of actually selling something.

Another thing ... sorry. I hear that editors don't appreciate recieving manuscripts by certified mail. For the life of me I can't figure out why.

Hey Rhoda, Nah, I never thought of editors as The Almighty. I guess I just put myself in their position and think about how hard their jobs are. (And how fun, I would think) I don't know why I've heard such terrible things about simultanious submitting, only that I have. But you're right. Reverence is out the door. We deserve some respect too, eh? :)

Hugs for Rachel and Sebastian. Thanks for the updates, Rachel, I love them!

Going for a while. Getting a life.

Christi


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Mon Mar 19 13:15:53 PST 2001

Rachel - Is Sebastian sleeping through the night still - that's great. My parents said I used to wake them up every few hours. Actually, after the first couple of days, my dad said he didn't wake up but my mom did and if I didn't cry about on schedule my mom would come over thinking something was wrong.
I was tempted to get a sleeper for Sebastian I saw that said "Party, my crib, 3:00AM" but I didn't know what size he would be and baby clothes are SO expensive. I can't believe these people who buy expensive Tommy Hilfiger and Calvin Kline baby clothes when the kids are going to grow out of them.
Now, burlap sacks, those come in all sizes - those are perfect. I'd wear a burlap sack 24/7 if I could. Just kidding. :)
Actually, if I could, I'd wear pajamas all day. I can't wait until I can wear my scrubs all day - scrubs are SOOO comfortable.

Anyone hear about the new rule up in Canada? I'm not sure if it's true but I heard because they have so many underage USA kids going across the border to drink (because I think in Canada the drinking age is 18 or 19) now if they find that you're from the US, and you're underage and drinking or attempting to drink, they'll get you for that now because I guess they got sick of Americans coming into their county, getting loaded and then trying to cross the border. Actually, I hear they're taking drinking and going by whatever law your county has so it means if you're from Germany, you can drink when you're 15 and they can't touch you. Europe is a lot more liberal about drinking than we are over here. And they don't have a big drinking problem either.
Why so much about this - a guy in my class just turned 21, but I doubt he'd go out and get drunk because he's not that kind of guy.

I'm eating lumpia. :)
*smiles*
Allein


Debra Mon Mar 19 12:53:57 PST 2001

Mary:

What a story. It was the first time I ever in my life started to see things through the eyes of a person who likes rough sex. I really don't get that. Anyway, I felt her through the whole story. I saw him and was right there.

When it became apparent that her children had suffered for her sins I was just floored.

Nice. I hope you do something with that. There is a huge audience for that stuff and yours is right up there with the great ones.

You are a true writer.

Debra


Hallee halleec@aol.com Mon Mar 19 12:37:23 PST 2001

MARY: Wow. I'm blown away.


Rhoda Mon Mar 19 12:29:01 PST 2001

Sorry, Mary and Kitty.

Kitty,

That Mary post was for you.


Rhoda Mon Mar 19 12:26:04 PST 2001

Christi,

Regarding your senerio: In such a case you have signed on the dotted line and your story has been bought by Publisher A. Rather than being mad, Publisher B will be beating his head on his desk wishing that he had been quicker to respond. Unless you get them in legal trouble or do something totally unprofessional like don't make your deadlines or talk badly about them behind their backs, editors do not get that spiteful. They understand that what they do is a business. They are usually fair-minded enough to realize that they hold out hope to people all the time only to reject them at that last moment. So here is your book doing nothing productive for months. Editors do understand.

Some editors do like you to be upfront and to tell them in advance that you are submitting to other houses simutaneously. I have heard several different editor panels, and this question often comes up. I have never heard an editor admit that they get angry at simultaneous submissions. If they like the book enough, they don't care how you sent it out or who you sent it to.

Incidently if the above book becomes a best seller and you believe that Publisher B is the better house to sign with, Publisher B will be more than happy to forgive if they believe your books will enhance the quality of their line and the guantity of their profits. These people are not that proud.

I think attitude is everything here. It is important that a writer conduct him/herself as a professional and follow the norms and standards of the business, but there is a tendency to look up to these editors as if they are messengers from God condescending to us when they show interest in our work. I think it is for this reason that so many authors settle for bad contracts and practically give their work away for free. And so many writers are so careful to do everything the right way. I have met people who did everything wrong and got published. One lady did not even know she wasn't supposed to call editors when she was calling editors and plugging her book. Only after she sold one did she find out. Would she have sold that first one if she had done everything by the book? Perhaps not.

Mary,

The travel plans are now not to go to Northern Scotland. There is too much driving involved from site to site. In as short time as we have, we thought we would go where things are closer together such as lowland Scotland. I am trying to interest the other ladies into an excursion into Northern Wales so we can see the ruins of Maelgwn of Gwynedd's stonghold of Deganwy. I have seen pictures on the internet, and this place looks really cool. Also here we are close to Snowdonia National park, and there are a lot of historical places of interest in this part of Wales. A town full of bookstores would be wonderful. I will have to pass that information on to the others.

As far as my history with submissions, the first one I sent to Dorchester took almost a year, but the rejection notice was very nice. It was written by the editor's assistant and it told me in very general terms why they were not interested in the book, but judging by the content of the letter, I was assured someone had actually read the submission. My second submission to them was about two months faster because one of their editors had requested it after I talked to him at a writer's conference. Simon and Schuster requested one and took eight months with it. There again I got a very nice rejection letter. St. Martins was the fastest. After requesting my three chapters and synopsis, they wrote back within a month.

I later sent queries to Simon and Schuster and to St. Martin's about another book, and within a month got very impersonal, terse form rejections. I doubt that either letter got to the editor I had addressed it to.

BTW: Query letters are faster. You can send a query letter to anyone, even to a house that claims only to take agented material. An acquaintance of mine did that and ended up with a three book contract from Signet, UNAGENTED. So, do not believe everything you read. Just do what makes sense and if you think you have written the best book since WAR AND PEACE, act like you have written the best book since WAR AND PEACE.

Do not cower in fear before these people!!!

Rhoda


Hallee halleec@aol.com Mon Mar 19 12:12:50 PST 2001

BANKY: I write because if I didn't, the conversations in my head would drive me insane and everyone around me. It's also nice to escape to another city for a few hours a day and delve into someone else's life with all it's ups, downs, and sideways(es). Hard to put into words - haha - I should have a character do it for me - they're so much more eloquent than I.

TAFF: I would begin my putting those thoughts that are floating around in your head on paper - however intangible they may be. Sometimes (I write mystery/thriller romances) I see one thing that sparks me to write a note that by the time I'm finished, I have the very sketchy basic premise of a novel down in my notebook. I filled 3 pages after seeing a dumpster in a parking lot of a seedy motel one day when I took a wrong turn.

MARY: RESEND! Please! I accidentally deleted. *sniff* then I emailed you and you didn't respond. AOL does not like YAHOO.

Hallee


Mary Mon Mar 19 11:09:55 PST 2001

KITTY: Wasn't me with the three completed books, but I can tell you one thing. If I did have three completed books, they would all be out there looking for jobs at the same time.

Provocative? Well, you know what they say. Bad publicity is better than no publicity. I will send that story to your email right now. :-)

Thanks.


Kitty edwyer@spherenet.com Mon Mar 19 10:37:01 PST 2001

Simultaneous and Linear submissions: "Simultaneous submissions" refers to one manuscript being shopped to several publishing houses at the same time. When I used the phrase "linear" I was referring to having a number of completed projects and whether you only send one out at a time and wait till it is bought or returned (linear) or do you send all of them out, more or less at the same time (a multitude of offerings ). Mary wrote that she had three completed young adult novels, if I recall correctly. What I wanted to know was whether all three had been sent out or was she waiting to hear about the first one before sending out another. It would seem advantageous to get your product out to the buyers as soon as it is ready and if you had more than one item for sale, you would have a greater chance to make a sale. I cannot see any conflict in having three different manuscripts on the market at the same time. Or does that make sense?

Christi: Hi! Having accepted an offer to publish your book, are you not obligated ASAP then to inform anyone else who might be looking at the manuscript that you are withdrawing it for consideration? There's probably an article in Writer's Digest that outlines the "etiquette" of simultaneous submissions. It seems to be done more and more these days.

Rhoda: A year! When you sent it, did you pay the extra dollar to have someone sign for it at the other end? At least then you know it arrived.
Have you finalized your trip details? I just ran across some information about a town in Wales that is famous for the number of bookstores there relative to the populace: 1,350 people and 35 bookstores in town, 4 more on the outskirts. Bibliophile heaven. Of course, you would have to bring an extra, reinforced suitcase just for the books.

Heather: Hi! Where in Canada?

Katrina: If you live where there is a college/university with a medical school, call their library (look in the phone book, call general information for the school then ask to be transferred or get the approriate#) and ask a librarian to help you find books on the history of medicine, be specific about what you are looking for. Or call your local library and ask the same of the librarian. Librarians are experts at research and can be very helpful. Are you working on something to do with WWII? I seem to recall hearing dialogue along the lines of "Medic! Medic! We need a medic here!" in those great old films about WWII. The medic was usually some young, earnest young man from the Midwest with 50-50 odds of making it through to the end of the film.

Mary: How provocative! Will curiousity kill the Kitty? I'll take a nibble, cautiously.

Banky: Hmmmm..... Because that is what I do. No mystery. Why did Hillary climb Everest. Next time someone asks you may want to respond "Why not?" or "I write therefore I am."

Taff: the mantra is: "Back up copy, back up copy, back up copy" repeated over and over everytime you sit at the computer. This seems to be a lesson we all have to learn the hard way. Get back to the computer and start typing down those ideas. Just don't forget the mantra: Back up copy, back up copy..."

Ben: Message received.

Kitty



Mary Mon Mar 19 09:56:46 PST 2001

CHRISTI, DEBRA and HALLEE: I have already changed a few lines of that story since I sent it to you. I can't wait to see if they are the same ones any of you comment on.


Rachel Mon Mar 19 09:33:33 PST 2001

Heather - I love baby feet too! I always kiss and nibble away at them. I could just eat them up! I'll give an extra kiss to Sebastians' baby feet for you (grins). His feet aren't really that tiny. He has these adorable, long, thin, flop about feet. In the hospital he and my first son were called 'big foot' People always want to look at my kids feet. I think they whole world my have a foot fettish (grins and laughter)!

Take care you,

Rachel


Christi Mon Mar 19 09:16:21 PST 2001

Hi Taff, My suggestion would be to hang out here for a while. There are many fabulous people here with advice to die for.
Your book will most likely be better for this in the end, if you stick to it. Most here who've lost material, rewrote, then found the old copy later like the new version better!

Good luck,

Christi


Mary Mon Mar 19 09:14:19 PST 2001

BANKY: I write for sanity. Mine and everyone around me! :-) I write to escape, I write to get thoughts out of my head, I write because there aren't that many things I am good at, so I jump on something if I am. Most importantly, I write because I love to. Nice to meet you, and welcome.


Christi eggnoggin@yahoo.com Mon Mar 19 09:08:46 PST 2001

Me too, Mary! I'd love to give it a read.

Dear Banky, What a great question and a great way to ask it. My short answer (because I'm in such a hurry) is that I write for different reasons at different times. Probably the over-all reason is because I have to. Or I would go insane. And drive everyone else insane with my questions and ruminations.

Simple and boring. Now you've got me questioning what the real answer is.


Taff Harris davidjohn@dharris41.fsnet.co.uk Mon Mar 19 09:07:47 PST 2001

HELP... new to this site (excellent by the way), I'm an enthusiastic, if not very good aspiring writer, I am in a quandary. Two months ago My computer went pfzzzzzzzttt and wiped all the contents of my hard drive, stored there were my research notes and the first (rough) couple of chapters to my, what I hoped, would be my first attempt. Now I still have all the idease bouncing around my skull but I am experiencing a total block when I try to metaphorically put pen to paper.

What can I do? I don't want to forget it because no doubt I will end up kicking myself in years to come for not at least attempting to write it.


All help greatly appreciated


Hallee halleec@aol.com Mon Mar 19 08:38:09 PST 2001

MARY: I'll bite. :)


banky Banky@talk21.com Mon Mar 19 08:16:07 PST 2001

Hey all. I'm new to all this so if the following has already been discussed then please let me know in a gentle manner.

I was in a bar the other day and since it was quiet I found myself a seat in the corner. I was doing a little spot clean on an old short story when this guy came over and asked what I was doing. I told him and we had a pleasant enough conversation about it, then he wandered off to go play with the juke box. But during the conversation he had asked me why I write. I'll be honest, I didn't know what answer to give. I'd never actually thought about "why" I write, I just sort of do it.

The question planted itself firmly in my mind and made me think about exactly why I do it. After some struggle I did manage to come up with some answers but they all seemed more like poor excuses than anything else. It was like all I could come up with was reasons to justify what I was doing and to make it valid, but no actual reasons as to why I write.

So, good people, here's the question. Why do we do what we do. Why do we write. What is it that drives us to lock ourselves away for periods of time and to live inside our heads.

Like I said at the start, if this has already been asked then please let me know. If it hasn't then... What you got?

Toodles.


Mary Mon Mar 19 07:44:29 PST 2001

DEBRA: I thought I had your email addy in my book, but I don't so I guessed. I was pretty close too, but no cigar. I just went through the archives to get it and I sent it to dpalardy@home.net......shoulda been .com. Will send again now.


Debra Mon Mar 19 07:37:29 PST 2001

Mary:

Looking forward to it. I got to run.

You can't lose me. I'm like a bad penny.

Debra


Mary Mon Mar 19 07:25:28 PST 2001

DEBRA: Somehow, I knew you would bite, but I am afraid that if you read it you won't want to be my friend anymore! Haha. I will send it to your email...but I warn you now, it is not a nice story.


Debra Mon Mar 19 06:56:53 PST 2001

Mary:

I'd love to read it, but I'm running out right now. Post it, who knows maybe I can get back early enough to read it. All I know is I'm sure it will be brilliant.

Debra


Mary Mon Mar 19 06:45:57 PST 2001

Not "here" as in Notebook, "here" as in Workbook. :-)


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Mon Mar 19 06:43:40 PST 2001

I finished a short story this morning that was intended to be my shortie for Thursday's 'Mercy', but then I didn't show the mercy and changed the ending. I want to post it in the Workbook, but it is undebatedly an adult story. (No, not because of sexual content). My question is, would anybody please read it for me and let me know what you think? Or should I post it here with this as my disclaimer to read at your own risk? Let me know if you want it and I will send it via email. Thanks in advance. ~~see ya


Mary Mon Mar 19 05:21:23 PST 2001

HEATHER: I am with you on the submissions topic. Exception: If a publisher openly accepts simultaneous submissions.

TEEKAY: Whatcha doin' with that last story you sent me? How's it going?

Hi CHRISTI!


taylor Mon Mar 19 01:01:22 PST 2001

im wwriting a werewolf story, keep an eye out for City Wolf

though the other one that i started, its probably gonna stay unpublished is a romance novel about this guy who sings on cruises, his guitarist friend, his competition. and about a woman of course, havent figured out what shes gonna be yet


Heather Mon Mar 19 00:57:03 PST 2001

Katrina: Hi! A great place to find out info such as you are seeking is to go to the library and go to the history section; you should be able to find a lot of books on the history of the medical profession including photos or drawings of the equipment.

At the hospital where I used to work there was a neat (if not scary) display area in the front foyer that had all the old 'tools' that the hospital's founding doctor owned and used. The scariest part was that he was an OB/GYN and those old tools from the late 1800's were indeed a fright for already nervous patients - imagine walking past those glass cases on the way to deliver your first-born? They had ancient stirrups and forceps and ...

nevermind. I'm making the guys green.

Not with envy, either.

Heather


Heather Mon Mar 19 00:49:20 PST 2001

Hey Christi! Hey everybody! Rachel, give Sebastian a kiss on each perfect toe for me, will you? I love babies' feet with a distinct fervor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)

On the submission topic:

I think I'm going to stick to the 'linear' method of submitting my work for the time being; I have a feeling that it won't take quite so long to hear back from a Canadian publisher as it did for Rhoda and others. The reason? My primary 'target' publisher only accepts work by Canadians. That narrows it down a bit, right out of the gate. I do realize there are thousands of submissions pouring into publishing house slush piles no matter the country or requirements; however, to go against my feeling is not a wise choice on my part. Done it before (oh, you don't wish to find out how often) and always regret it.
BUT I think it's great to see all the sides of the coin here. Simultaneous submissions seem to be so frowned on (esp in writer's market etc.) that I wouldn't want to take a chance YET. I may change my tune as well, when I've got mss' waiting through eternity for a thumb signal.

I feel badly that there are frustrated people with mss' out there and there hasn't been a word in a year or two. How do you deal with it? (That question is for anyone in Limbo, waiting on the big word)

By the way, I just readied my short story for submission to GlimmerTrain! I am mailing it this week! I'm excited; I'll have to take many saunas and beat myself with a rough loofa sponge (as is the Finnish custom) just to bear the waiting period. I am what I always considered quite patient. I have yet to truly test my patience for longevity when the context is awaiting acceptance or rejection. Here is my mountain. Pass me the gear. Quick.

Heather

P.S. Taylor, what are you writing? You gave us quite a wacky hint, but nothing concrete. Herein lies the mystery.

EDGAR, where did you go?


taylor Sun Mar 18 23:52:34 PST 2001

Began writing a different story than Im use to as a gift, as a treasurable gift I hope...
but boy its gonna be odd not having anyone killing anyone


taylor Sun Mar 18 23:45:04 PST 2001

teekay: that obvious huh?

Ben W: that does work, but it seems to be i dont know, cruel or something

Katrina: may have to ask the medical staff that, about medical equipment

finished reading an old mills & boon book called the Grooms Revenge, i've become picky about books though, and found the continuous use of the word, "had" to be quite annoying, and it seemed to push me, the reader, from the story... maybe its just me


Katrina Garibladi faithgaribaldi@aol.com Sun Mar 18 21:32:49 PST 2001

Hi everyone, I was hoping for some help. I'm trying to write a story about a doctor from the 40's, but I really don't know much about the machines or techniques used back then. One particular question is, did they have paramedics? And if so, what were they able to do? Any help would be great if you could e-mail it to me!


Christi Sun Mar 18 20:08:02 PST 2001

Whoops! Hi Marylou, Rhoda, and Jerry too!

On simu-submissions: What about this scenario? Your manuscript is accepted, you sign on the dotted line, and then months later you receive another offer. Obviously you have to turn that publisher down, admitting that you've simu-submitted. I'd think that would piss the editor/publisher off and not want to see your name on their desk again.
How do you deal with this? Acceptions or rejections can come at any time.
My first rejection was mailed back to me in a week! (Actually, my only rejection. I'm still waiting to hear about the rest.)
I've only submitted to publishers one at a time, but I AM fairly new to submitting. Could be that I'll change my mind on down the line. Thanks to you all for your input.


Christi Sun Mar 18 19:52:30 PST 2001

Hey Heather, I'm right here! :) Thanks fer asking. Been a fast-paced weekend out here in the West. It's nice to finally kick off my shoes and relax.
Mmmmmm, potato chips. I adore kettle-cooked jalepeno and cheese, and salt and pepper chips. Who'd have ever thought that salt and pepper chips could be so yumpcious? Who brought up the chips? Eddie?

Speaking of Eddie--dear poor Ed, I've been thinking about you. Hang in there. In times like these I wish I could do something to help.

Americo, Ditto the above. Many warm wishes your way.

David ... I mean Teekay, (HEE!) I send lots of mousse and smokey, sexy eyeliner your way. I'll bet your haircut really looks gorgeous. It takes time to get used to a very-short haircut.

Great funnies, Allein!

OW! HARD, :( Another kissy for the finger. *smack!* I broke mine playing vollyball once. Didn't even know it until the game was over.

Hi Hallee, Did you actually say 4:15 in the MORNING? I didn't even know there WAS a 4:15 in the morning. There was a time when I didn't know there was a 9:00 in the morning. Sigh. I'm going to really try to get up earlier than my son (per your example), otherwise I don't know when I'll ever get some real writing time in.

I know, I know. "Try" is such a copout. Yoda says, "There is no try--only do, or do not." Words to live by.

Heya Mary.

Hi Ben, Kitty, Rosemary, Debra, Randall, Hop, Mr. Woozy.

Hugs for everyone! Especially those I'm sure to have missed.

Christi


Jerry Sun Mar 18 19:52:22 PST 2001

Eddy - I can sympathise with you, although not on so great a scale, I do remember when Hog Colora hit on my dads farm, I must have been about 6 or 7 years old. The vet came and inspected, then came away telling father that all the hogs had to be destroyed, along with the hog barn, the fence and anything else the hogs had access to. We were lucky that dad kept the hogs and other livestock in different pastures. I remember dad and his brothers standing at the fence shooting all dads hogs (around 20 or 30 if I remember correctly), then pouring kerosene on the pile of bodies, intermixed with old fence posts and some coal slack that they gathered from our coal shed. Then the fire burning the barn, the hogs and all the crap that lined the pen, all the grass in the pasture that the hogs had the run of (not all that big, as hogs don't take much room thankfully). I will never forget that smell. It must be so much worse over there now.

Jerry


Rhoda rfort@familynet.net Sun Mar 18 19:38:29 PST 2001

I concur with Mary Lou. I haven't been asked for material, but I have waited almost a year to hear back on submissions. You only have a problem if more than one house wants to buy your work--what a terrible problem. So your work goes to auction and you end up with a $250,000.00 advance instead of a $5000.00.

So, never be afraid to do simultanous submissions. I do it all the time because I cannot afford to wait, and my time is just as valuble as any editors.

Rhoda


Mary Lou evans_hagen2@prodigy.net Sun Mar 18 19:31:26 PST 2001

Debra: Can't help putting in my two cents worth about simultaneous submissions. I've been writing for nine years and after several rejection letters and attending work shops where published authors give advice, I say forget about the "poor" publisher who does not accept them. They don't mind letting you hang for months. I've even heard from them after a year that they are not interested. Right now I have two submissions out to major publishers that were sent in Nov. 12. 1999 and March 24, 2000. In the case of the one sent last March, the editor had requested the material, I have written 3 follow-up letters (all with SASE) and have yet to hear a word from her. (This submission happens to be the book that another publisher has accepted.) So, if you wait around you loose valuable time and usually end up getting a rejection. The writing business, especially from the publisher and agent side, is a dog eat dog and the author gets the little end of the stick. Now that I've had my say (a lot more than two cents worth, I know), I'll get off my soap box.

Mary Lou


Moondance submissions@moondance.org http://www.moondance.org Sun Mar 18 19:27:57 PST 2001

Call for stories! Moondance Ezine, a UNESCO Award winning
site celebrating women's creativity, seeks exquisitely
crafted short fiction for inclusion in its quarterly publication.
Because our audience and staff are global, we especially treasure
stories that speak to the issues, hopes and dreams of all women.
Quarterly themes can be found on our website, though distinctive
fiction that does not perfectly mesh with these will be considered. Preferred length: up to 6000 words. Submission deadlines are 1 October, 1 January, 1 April, and 1 July. Please direct questions and submissions to Martha Gibson, Fiction Editor,
fiction.editor@moondance.org

http://www.moondance.org/


Mary Sun Mar 18 18:04:42 PST 2001

HEATHER: Now you have me thinking 'Salt&Vinegar', or the really great Maryland Blue Crab flavor chips I used to buy when I lived in Baltimore. They had the lightest sprinkling of "Old Bay" seasoning on them that I just love. When I moved back to Ohio, I brought 4 bags with me because I knew I would probably never have them again. My stomach has now caught up with my tingling tastebuds and is growling something fierce.

DEBRA: Yeah. What Heather said.


Heather Sun Mar 18 17:52:52 PST 2001

Hedgehog flavour. MMMMMMM
I think Hamster flavour would go over better. No pricklies.

We have an amusing array of chip flavours here. I could get into it right now but then I'd have a craving and no one would be able to stop me from running to the store and snarfing down a bag. If I just don't go anywhere near chips, I'm fairly safe. Fairly. I do so love salt.

Heather


Heather Sun Mar 18 17:49:20 PST 2001

Debra: What you are referring to is called 'simultaneous submissions'. You must check very carefully in your Writer's Market 2001 to see whether each publisher you intend to send your manuscript to will accept a submission that is also being sent out elsewhere at the same time. Most publishers do not want simultaneous submissions, because it can cause problems if more than one publisher wants to publish your work. My advice is to do it the 'linear' way; send one out and wait until you either get word off acceptance or rejection of your work, and then you are free to send it to the next chosen publisher.

So there you have my whole few cents on that.

Great funnies, Allein!

I don't know if that's good news, or bad news, Eddie!

Howard, here's another SMOOOCH for your poor finger. Oh, and don't move it like that if it hurts.

Hi Litter, good to see you, but sorry to hear of a doubled workload. Just think of a nice pair of jigglies. Hey, you might not get as much work done that way, but you'll be smiling and no one else will know why. Aren't mysteries terrific? They can render a man beguiling.

Kitty, hi! Don't think I've welcomed you back yet - I'm a fellow Canadian... there was something else... I'll surely remember after I post this.

HI EVERYONE!

Christi, where you at, girl?

Teekay?

Have a great time, Jack! Allein - try to make it to this one, won't ya?

Heather


Eddie French Sun Mar 18 16:42:17 PST 2001

Allein,
A potato chip flavour that flopped over here in th UK:
Hedgehog flavour.
Absolutely true.

Just passing through. back to the grindstone tomorrow.
Things are no better over here, my workload has doubled.
The debate rages over the firebreak slaughter policy. The government has temperarily halted this action. Farmers in the county of Cumbria are revolting and threatening the use of firearms to keep MAFF vets and slaughter men off their land. (I don't think it will come to blows though)
I watched a 600 meter long pyre go up a few days ago. WHat a waste of animal life!

Later,
Ed


KNOCK KNOCK Sun Mar 18 16:30:27 PST 2001

KNOCK KNOCK!
WHO'S THERE?
BEACON!
BEACON WHO?
BE DONE WITH KNOCK KNOCK JOKES!


Debra Sun Mar 18 15:17:13 PST 2001

Kitty:

I might have read something wrong. But,no harm done.

I am taking a linear approach to sending my stuff out. Is that recommended or is it what makes it so slow of a process?

I could send more out at a time. That's not the reason I am doing that. I do it because I thought it was the correct way to do it.


I'd actually love to send my stuff to lots of different places at a time. I think it would be way more exciting.

Let me know. Imagine the question that didn't seem like it would make that much of an impact, actually being the one that changes my life.

Debra


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Sun Mar 18 13:34:11 PST 2001

I've thought of a theme for shortie night but don't know if anyone wanted to use it. The theme is: CHEESE.

No wait, it's not, it's: CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.

Here's some funnies:

No way...I'll have to go check it out

If any of you remember the movie "Back to the Future II" you will recall that Bif goes to the future and steals a Sports Almanac, where in turn he goes back to the past to give it to young Bif. As we all know Young Bif was able to become very wealthy by betting on games where he already knew the final score. In an obscure line you hear young Bif say "Florida is going to win the World Series in 1997, yeah right". This movie came out in 1987, ten years before the Marlins did actually win the world series. And what's really weird is that Florida didn't even have a baseball team in 1987.

Interesting trivia ...

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

Dr. Seuss coined the word "nerd" in his 1950 book "If I Ran the Zoo"

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.

The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

The Bible has been translated into Klingon.

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

Average lifespan of a major league baseball: 5 pitches.

Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.

Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate.

According to one study, 24% of Iawns have some sort of lawn ornament in their yard.

Internationally, Baywatch is the most popular TV show in history.


These are actual lines out of OER (Officer Efficiency Report ) performance appraisal for the military:


Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

A room temperature IQ.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

Bright as Alaska in December.

One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.

Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

Fell out of the family tree.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

He's so dense, light bends around him.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

One neuron short of a synapse.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

I like Monkeys..

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for awhile, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.

I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a Solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.


HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

One hand on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California; with gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse,brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male.

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is not wearing a barrel: Las Vegas

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level,driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

A Supposed True Finals Story


This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid 'A'. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, even though the Chem final was on Monday, they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Aldric after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to UVA for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.

Aldric thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.

It said: (95 points) Which tire?


Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?"

"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

"Did he kill you?"

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

"How may times have you committed suicide?"

Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood.

***********************************************
I'm going to stop there and save some for next time. I've taken up enough of the notebook and it's already obvious that I have no life.
*smiles*
Allein


Ben W Sun Mar 18 12:33:27 PST 2001

KITTY: I sent you an email. It's one of those long, rambling things you seem to love reading as much as I love writing. I'm going with the .com on your address because I think those are the only ones going through. I'm not going to tell anyone here about the hangover I was wrestling with today. I'm just going to sit down and watch my favourite team play hockey--the coolest game on ice.
Ben


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Sun Mar 18 12:19:52 PST 2001

Richard - No, you have to put in your friends e-mail addresses in order for it to send out a message. But the more people you send it to and the more who sign up the better chances you have to win.
*smiles*
Allein


SusanS susanshock@yahoo.com Sun Mar 18 12:11:19 PST 2001

Thanks for the advice Halee. Ironically after posting my message, I somehow managed to write a couple of pages of my novel, and I wrote a poem, though writing the poem was tough. It's a form of expression that is still new to me. I can get a poem started, but ending it is always difficult. I run out of things to say and then don't know how to conclude the poem without sounding trite. But forgive the tangent. Anyway, I may try a writing schedule, or I might set myself a page limit. I've done that in the past and it helps. Maybe I just needed to tell someone my problem. I'll leave now and see if I can get some more written.

Susan


Sun Mar 18 11:59:35 PST 2001

Ben: First, I may have misread your post. It is not that you are leaving for a long time, but that you are not going to make long posts for a long time. Right? Well, I like reading your ramblings. Second, the way I keep everything straight is by jotting down notes on a yellow note pad as I read through the posts. Finally, as to making a living at writing, you would be able to if you would write that book I want you to write (hahaha!).

Debra: I think you may have confused me with someone else. It was my real time life that took me away from the computer, and the Notebook. That and a major crash and burn of said computer. I wrote a weekly column and feature articles for a newspaper, but had never had any fiction published until recently. I now have a short story included in an anthology, a writing group project that, thanks to the enthusiasm and energy of the group, was sent to an e-publishing house, a very interesting and positive experience so far. Except for the bit about the short story, which is very recent, it is all in my blurb on the bio page. If something I have written in a previous post misled you, I apologize.

As to your question… By linear publishing I simply meant were you sending out manuscripts one at a time and waiting till one was settled till sending out the next. It's not an industry term. As to agents and how to acquire one, I do not think I can tell you more than I already have. There is no one path to reach your goal. The common denominator in most success stories is perseverance. I do wish you well.

Susan: Yes, write everyday and always have writing tools at hand. I always have a stenographer's notebook that goes everywhere with me. In it I keep notes, jot down bits of information, make observations, record those brilliant snatches of conversation that always seem to play through your head at the most inconvenient time, etc. I even carry a mini stapler so that I can staple stuff onto the pages when necessary. Just remember to number the notebooks once you have more than one. Though I know what is in all of them, it's faster to find what I want by going directly to #4 or #7 etc. rather than flipping through the first couple of pages to identify which yellow steno notebook I have in hand.

Viv: I don't travel with Ted as much as I did BC (before children). The last time we went away together was two years ago to Paris and a Province. Travelling with Ted is always an adventure.
I've not been back to Taiwan since I left as a child. Ted has been and, from his descriptions, I doubt I would recognize my old stomping grounds. My older sister and I attended Taipei American School where you started learning Chinese from grade 1. My younger sister went to Chinese kindergartern. My parents wanted us to learn and absorb as much as possible. A great adventure. A great gift. And we did stand out a bit. My younger sister and I were very blond and blue eyed as children.
If you have recent book recommendations, I'd love to know so that I can add them to my little list. I think I have all the sequels to Raw Fish and Cat.
I didn't quite follow what you were referring to in you last sentence? Did I critic a writer and not the words or was that directed to someone else?

Allein: Loved the profound observations from the young deep thinkers. Funny and, in some cases, alarming.

Jack: Will the computer be on for the party? Do we get to check in and imagine the smell of the simmering soup, the beauty of the sunset? Wah! I wanna go!

Kitty


Richard Sun Mar 18 09:22:18 PST 2001

Hello all :p

Allein: This cash competition thing - if I join it doesn't automatically send e-mails to all of my freinds as well does it? I don't want to spam the IBG Command Staff and the KalidorWorX Productions team...

Anyone visited my website?


Debra Sun Mar 18 08:00:19 PST 2001

Rosemary:

Worry about nothing. Thankfully I don't get like that very much. It happens about once a year. But!


When it does happen, no one is safe. I mean no one.

Even my husband of 13 years, has learned to recognize when it happens. It's too bad that I don't think very clearly when it does happen, I could get him to hang up a few shelves. Shit I could get him to do anything. But, instead I just do my impression of "rantings of an idiot."

So I compeletly understand.

You do realize I was only calling me an idiot? Just so we're clear.

Debra


Rosemary Sun Mar 18 07:40:55 PST 2001

Checking for slings and arrows before jumping in.

Mary,
You're completely right. Right after I hit the post button, I cringed, snapped at my sister and went to bed. It was about 2:oo in the afternoon. Luckily I'm single so no divorce on the horizon. Not too many days like that.

HALLEE,
It's still cold and raining, so not yet.

DEBRA,
Mary is completely right. You have the constitutional right to burn your own fingers. (not a good apology but the weather is still lousy here.)

In our Wednesday writing group, we are suposed to concentrate on plot. I think I am going to use the alone shorty with the man riding across the desert as an example. It could be used as the beginning middle or end of a plot. --The reason I brought that up, is to say that the short shorty sessions have been very helpful.

Be good and write long.
Rosemary


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Sun Mar 18 06:51:04 PST 2001

Good Morning Everyone!

Oh, HOWARD! Your poor finger, come here and let me kiss it for you...smoooooch. There, see? All better. A popsicle you say? Ok hon, here's a nice big red one. :-)

I have successfully cut my Notebooking back to around 12%. I could never quit this place cold-turkey, I can tell you that, but at least I don't feel like a space hog anymore.

For anyone who may have missed it: shortie night theme this week is MERCY. (Newbies: You don't have to write about the theme, you can write anything you want to write...the theme is just a suggestion. One that works very well too! Thanks again HALLEE!)

Oh yeah, HI HOWARD'S MOM!

i must go ;-)


Jack Beslanwitch Sat Mar 17 22:28:06 PST 2001

Allein: Look forward to seeing you. If you need a ride to and from, I am sure that we can arrange for that as well. Anybody else in the area are more than welcome.


Ben W Sat Mar 17 21:05:42 PST 2001

Allien: Just popped in for a quick peek. Priceless. I gotta let my son read these. I'm finding out he's just as twisted humor wise as his old man is. I actually laughed out loud at most of them. My son would watch SNL all day long if he could...
Ben


Jerry Sat Mar 17 20:33:43 PST 2001

AMERICO - I have been having fun with the Mac, but the time grows short for my toy. My daughter has prepared a desk for it, and I will be traveling the six blocks to her home to help her set it up, so it can return to a paying job. So much for the fun of learning, but it has been nice to be able to play around with it, and learn the in's and out's of the Mac. I have installed FUSION which is a Mac emulator on my PC, and am transfering all the software packages to it, so I can play with them at my leasure. FUSION actually runs the software faster then the MAC, but I guess it is running on my PC with a 400 MHZ processor and 194 meg of ram, where on the MAC it is running at 33 MHZ with 72 meg of ram. There are suttle differences though, and some of the software refuses to work as well on the PC, as well it should, since it was not written to do that. I am beginning to see though were folks who grew up cutting their teeth on a MAC could become confused, lost, even angry when forced to live on what the PC puts out.

Jerry

Howard Well I am not spacing out, however I think I am getting CRS syndrom, indicated by the fact that I sat down to post both these posts at the same time, then slipped into whatever, and ended up sending yours, then composing Americo's. Guess we are all getting a bit older.

JE


Jerry Sat Mar 17 20:26:28 PST 2001

Howard - damn that hurts. You are so right about the old books, I too love reading them, but at times they do get a bit dry. I have a wonderful book that was left to us by my wife's aunt, who passed away about four years ago. It was her mothers, and was purchased during the first world war. It is a history book, of sorts, however it reffers to the terriable Hun! Very anti german/austrian. Amazing how history changes. The history books in the set tell stories of history that I have never read about, or heard about in any school. I was especially interested in the US Civil war, as told by those who were alive when the book was written. Puts a whole different slant on things, before they were glamorized in the minds of those who wrote the current versions. Also the tales of the Indian wars are very different then those told by Hollywood (but then what did Hollywood ever know about truth in the first place.)

Well I ramble on, and it seems the notebook is becoming full with the assult of the mad knocker (Now that brings to mind a different sort of story.)

Write ON!

Jerry

PS sorry for the pain in the finger, you do type rather well for a nine-fingered typist.
JE


Debra Sat Mar 17 19:53:02 PST 2001

Hallee:

Yeah, I guess if I were being honest I would have to say still a pain in the ass too.

I'm Italian it's expected.
Debra


Debra Sat Mar 17 19:46:37 PST 2001

Allein:

Thank you for that.

I'm voting my favorite as the one with the student who calls the teacher to thank them until they got an unlisted number. Priceless!


Debra


Debra Sat Mar 17 19:32:32 PST 2001

Mary:

Thank you. I may just do that. I think I might like to drop over for high tea and chat sometime real soon.

Debra


Randall startiki@hotmail.com Sat Mar 17 19:31:41 PST 2001

Good Saturday evening to one and all.

Whoa...Mr. Wizard. Son, better lay off that cheap wine and step up to Mogan David, at least some hi grade wood alochol. Whew, say, ever consider puting that tirade into a novel. Say 250,00 words or so, font 14, double spaced, 4 inch margin top and bottom, 4 inch spacing left and right? What genre would you call that? Anyway?

I struggle to compensate for a flaw that has followed me all my adult life. My thinking is TOO agressive. Words reveal the inner person. If there is conflict, emotional problems or rampant insecurity (my favorite)like Mr. Shakespear wrote "... will out." And it will, especially to an adult, mature person who writes words and is capable of picking up hidden meanings, within structure. We talked of this last year a little, (well ok, so I mentioned it!) and it is something that concerns me. Mostly because it's a problem I have.

"What in hades are you talking about Randall?"

Okay, many years ago a bunch of us were sitting around talking, guys, girls, most single, a few who were not sure. Someone asked if you could be an animal, what would you be? I said King Cobra, 18 feet long, sliding through a jungle. Why? Well, that darn agressive thinking problem. A guy next to me took the gentle road and said dolphin, swimming south of Flordia. Jesus H. Christ! Why didn't I say that? In the 70's if you're looking to impress single girls, well, they'll choose dolphin over snake any time. Probably still will. At a lake party some time later I showed up with a pistol and my cousin a guitar. Guess who commanded attention, and rightfully so. Guitars over guns anytime. (Unless you play with rockers, Guns and Roses!) There are several more stories but, so what!

Think of the gentle paths through life. Agressive thinking and action is an evolutionary step backward and sure as heck will effect ones Karma. There are considerations involved in being human, stop and think about them before you write. It will come forth in your work, as it has in mine. I've rewrote many passages that do not call for agressive thinking so many times it's not funny. All things in their place, if agression, nay, murder is necessary vent frustrations there. Words talk, sentance structure...well now I'm preaching to the choir! :-)

Uh oh, be very still, there is a penguin on my monitor. Better go, 'fore it changes into a snake and chases me 'round the house with a pistol.

Bye!

Randall


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Sat Mar 17 18:51:10 PST 2001

Jack - I will see if I can make it but because I have to ride the ferry, I may have to leave before 10. :)


Wanted to Share this one. :)

Deep Thoughts by Children

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him.
--Age 10

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower.
--Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.
--Age 13

I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor.
--Age 14

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
--Age 15

Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think about the last words of my favorite uncle: "A truck!"
--Age 15

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.
--Age 8

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
--Age 7

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote.
--Age 10

Home is where the house is.
--Age 6

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
--Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
--Age 5

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
--Age 13

The people who think Tiny Tim is strange are the same ones who think it odd that I drive without pants.
--Age 15

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
--Age 13

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
--Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
--Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't is morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
--Age 15

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
--Age 15

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks.
--Age 15

I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts.
--Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
--Age 15



howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Sat Mar 17 18:50:19 PST 2001

Bad news/good news -- finger busted (goes crunchcrackle and hurts like heck when I wiggle it)/daughter called and said not to buy a new dryer. They brought up an extra one they had (almost new) and it works just great!
So I taped the pinky to the ring finger (that's what they'd do in the ER, but they'd take so long and charge so much) and took a couple of advil.
Did you know that Advil and Viagra are the same color!? Now I can't bend my finger at all! :-)

Now that's scary! I just realized I've been sitting here staring at this screen for the past 10 minutes and haven't typed a word. Just vegged out, a blank spot in my evening. Mind going south? I sometimes get lost in thought, but this is different - can't remember thinking anything at all! Gee! An out-of-mind experience! What happens to the mind at a time like that? Does it just shut down for a rest, or does it visit some other dimension that we just can't remember? Or do we even want to remember it?

Will the "Mad Kn*cker" please stand up and show yourself so we can take better aim!? I truly apologise for mentioning the kn*ck kn*ck j*kes in the first place. Never dreamed the whole notebook would get kn*cked up!

I have to leave now.


Mary Sat Mar 17 18:26:36 PST 2001


DEBRA: Feel free to email me anytime to find out anything that you think I could help you with. I don't mind giving advice at all and if you do or don't decide to follow it, it is your fingers getting burned, not mine. (::[]::) There's a band-aid for your shins.

ROSEMARY: We are having the same funky whether and I am being quite the bitch. I think my hubby will be very glad when it warms up! :-)


Hallee halleec@aol.com Sat Mar 17 18:23:18 PST 2001

Hey everyone! Still in the old house...the weather turned ugly again, and since we don't have to actually be out of here until the 31st of this month, we decided to put it off. We were just excited about moving into a place we actually own instead of rent.

ROSEMARY: Rain and cooler weather. (sad frown) Where did the spring go? Let me know when you warm up - haha - we'll be about a day or two behind you.

KITTY: Thanks. Moving is an adventure, and as often as we move, it's almost my spring cleaning exercise. But not anymore! Yay! Signing on the dotted line was never more fun.

HEATHER: Thanks for the link. TEEKAY - did you pay attention to Heather's link??? (smile) Submit your short stories, girl - get them out there.

JERRY: What a treasure in those books! Wow - I love old books. I used to love to dig through the library archives and find OLD encyclopedias. I also love old magazines - the advertisements and such. Anything from the '50's back fascinates me.

SUSAN: It's hard to focus when things are on your mind. As stressful and busy as my life is, the one thing I'm able to do to keep my focus is to stick to a schedule. I write every morning from 4:15 to about 6:00. 7 days a week, I sit at the computer at 4:15. Some mornings I write a few paragraphs then write some emails, some mornings I write solid for two hours. But, I've trained my mind and my body to focus for that time period on inane things and let the rest of it come back and flood my mind when it's time to actually start the day moving.

HOWARD: I seem to recall a couple of other instances where you sustained injuries while trying to repair certain household items. Wasn't there something about something blowing up in your face a while back? (quick hug).

MARK: You lurking and just remaining silent? Your posts are so few and far between anymore...everything okay?

BEN: Yep - it was your story. Sorry about that.

CHRISTI: Hiya.

DEBRA: I'm still a pain in the ass. Ask anyone.

I think that about catches me up. Anyone I missed...I apologize. It's been a hell of a couple of weeks. BUT - my climax is unfolding nicely, and I'll be finished with this book very soon. Then it's time to discover just how hard writing really is. Up to this point, it's been a breeze.

Time to wash Kaylee's hair - get her into bed.

Hallee


Jerry Sat Mar 17 16:03:04 PST 2001

Yes indeed I was joking about the horse, I couldn't afford to buy one of those dang critters just to kill him for some god that I have never even been introduced to. I was recalling some history I read one time where in fact the Norse people did sacrifice their horses in the names of their gods and hung their bleeding heads in trees for others to see. You see I used to love auctions, and at one of them, I saw a box of books. The top bunch of books were a very old set of popular science hard covers. I bid on the box just for those but when I got the box home and unpacked them I found the true treasure. A 25 volume set of the worlds greatest history, with volumes for US - Japan - Germany - the Norse - Italy - Russia, and many others. I dug into them and read the most interesting parts of many of the books, but still have a ways to go to finish them all, I probably will never finish, but each time I grab one of them, I learn something new. The copywrite date on them is 1909, yet they are in very good condition.

See you all later.

Jerry


Jack Beslanwitch jack@webwitch.com http://www.sfnorthwest.org/maysocial.html Sat Mar 17 16:02:22 PST 2001

Allein reminded me that I was having a new NWSFS Social come this May. Some details are still a little up in the air, but if we do what we did last year, we will likely be able to pick up a couple of copper river salmon and bake them, or, if we get adept at harvesting crabs, we may do those instead. Still, all here are invited to come spend some time with us May 20th, tour Kubota Gardens, sit in the hot tub or watch some movies. This has more or less become an annual event for us, targeted mainly at the local science fiction population, but also any body else I think to invite. Take care. And, yes, Allein, you are invited as well :-), but can understand if not.



Viv Sat Mar 17 14:59:22 PST 2001

Heather: Neat website. I'm excited about that one. I'm going to try it out. I think it would be really great to be chosen. Have you been published there or won some of those contests?
This looks so neat I may disappear for a bit so I can get some things ready for each catagory. That way I'll feel like at least I loaded the bases!

Howard: Liked your description of fixing the dryer. Also think it's neat you have the ability to keep things running. My husband can do that too. Another reason I married him! What's great is he can just about fix anything.

Randell: Loved that post on junk yards.

Kitty: Absolutely, have read all! Good reads! Not exactly new lit though! I think basically my theme is not "What I Did For Love", but actually, "Sneaking a ride on his good fortune." You are absolutely right that Japan is fascinating. Most days I love it here!

Looks like your husband travels too. I guess you can do as I do and go along sometimes! Do you visit your childhood home often. How do you find the changes??? The real trouble is describing the things and the changes! I should keep a journal but I don't. I'm sure you do! Let's hear what you've written about changes sometime!

Did you attend the local schools when you were a child? You didn't say if you looked like the other children or if you were physically different. Interesting. That coupled with the fact that you don't spend a great deal of time in a country with your husband when you come on a 3-4 day visit, might explain the tone of your post. I suppose being a tourist you wouldn't experience much beyond the usual high of a visit to a strange place. I hope you didn't misinterpret my stories to mean I feel sorry for myself for living here: I don't. Attitudes toward or against foreigners are just as quixotic and mercurial as change. What scares me a little is that America might do or say something that causes bad feeling here. We watch the news and say: "cool it folks, get along with the rest of the world please!" The reason for this is although both Japanese and Americans are all generally kind and gentle our countries are like our children to us. People get very upset when something happens and tend to act irrationally. In the case of the week those stories were written, what was happening in the news was rather pertinent to our lives. Some Japanese high school kids were killed on that fishing vessel. They come from an area which is very close to ours. My daughter's good friend is a fisherman's son. They had a fight. He was a good friend and a kind person. She looks forward to seeing him on her juku nights because he teaches her all about fish. He was the only person to be her friend when she first joined the juku so she was really upset. The loss of a friend over political climate really hurts because you didn't do anything wrong but are blamed for being what you are. Hope that clears up any confusion.

You are right, those stories aren't my favorite but I posted them anyway because I am working on writing. Care to critique the stories and not the writer?


Debra Sat Mar 17 14:41:06 PST 2001

I was a huge pain in the ass as a kid.


Debra Sat Mar 17 14:35:40 PST 2001

Rosemary:

Wow! I didn't disregard anyone's advice. I only started to get advice less than two weeks ago. That's not long enough to disregard anything.

Kitty was here a long time ago. Then she left because she got some of her stuff published. At least that's what I thought. So I figured I'd ask for some advice from her too. It doesn't hurt to hear more. It never does.

Sorry! Really!

Debra


SusanS susanshock@yahoo.com Sat Mar 17 14:27:54 PST 2001

I need some advice on how to focus better on my writing so I can get something done. I go through periods of great productivity and then suddenly I seem to dry out. Sometimes just doing a lot of reading will get me back on track, but sometimes it doesn't help. Part of the problem is that I seem to have so many other things on my mind, problems, or conflicts that seem to hinder my creativity. I'll want to work on a project, like the science fiction novel I'm working on, but instead I'll end up worrying about something, like a conflict with a friend, or job problems, or money, and I end up not getting anything done. How do I focus on my writing and push aside those other things that always seem to be lurking in the back of my mind? Any advice would be appreciated.

SusanS


Rosemary Sat Mar 17 13:16:43 PST 2001

Hi everyone,

It's cold here today. That means in the 40's but that's cold because yesterday was about 80 degrees.

I guess the weather jumping around has put me in a mood because I'm going to get at least half the notebook mad at me now.

DEBRA,
Please quit begging for advice from us. At least four of us have given you the same advice about agents and you completely disregarded it. If you had asked us before using the subsidy publisher, probably eight or more of us would have told you not to do it and you would have gone right ahead. I'll bet when you were little, you were one of those kids that touched the hot stove even though everyone in the house told you not to.

JERRY,
I'm going to assume you were joking about the horse's head in the tree. No one who writes as well as you would do a horrible thing like that. No matter how bad the weather was.

HALLIE,
Good luck with the move. I hate to have to uproot and move to a new location no matter how much better the new place is.

I think I posted the first paragraph by mistake. Still not sure exactly what I did, but hope I don't do it again.
Later,
Rosemary


KNOCK KNOCK HTTP://WHOS_THERE.COM Sat Mar 17 13:08:31 PST 2001

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Aardvark !
Aardvark who ?
Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Aardvark !
Aardvark who ?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Aaron !
Aaron who !
Aaron the barber's floor !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Aaron !
Aaron who !
Aaron on the side of caution!
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Abba !
Abba who ?
Abba banana !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Abbey !
Abbey who ?
Abbey stung me on the nose !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Abbott !
Abbott who ?
Abbott time you opened this door
Knock Knock
Who's there !
B-4 !
B-4 who ?
B-4 I freeze to death, please open this door !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bab !
Bab who ?
Bab Boone is a real ape !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baby !
Baby who ?
Baby love, my baby love.... !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baby Owl !
Baby Owl who ?
Baby Owl see you later, maybe I won't !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bach !
Bach who ?
Bach of sweets !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bacon !
Bacon who ?
Bacon a cake for your birthday !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Badger !
Badger who ?
Badger cookies !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Balanchine !
Balachine who ?
Balachine act !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Balloon !
Balloon who ?
Balloon velvet !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Banana !
Banana who ?
Banana split so ice creamed !
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana ?
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Band !
Band who ?
Band in Boston !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Barbara !
Barbara who ?
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Barber !
Barber who ?
Barberd wire !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Barbie !
Barbie who ?
Barbie Q !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bargain !
Bargain who ?
Bargain up the wrong tree !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bark !
Bark who ?
Bark you car on the drive !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baron !
Baron who ?
Baron mind who you're talking to !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Barrister !
Barrister who ?
Barristercratic !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cabot !
Cabot who ?
Cabotret !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Caesar !
Caesar who ?
Caesar quickly before she gets away !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Caesar !
Caesar who ?
Caesar jolly good fellow !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cain !
Cain who ?
Cain you tell !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Caitlin !
Caitlin who ?
Caitlin you my trainers tonight, I'm wearing them !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Callas !
Callas who ?
Callas should be removed by a podiatrist !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Callum !
Callum who ?
Callum all black !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cam !
Cam who ?
Camalot is where King Arthur lived !
THE MAD KNOCK KNOCK'ER HAS STRUCK AGAIN, THIS TIME FULL AUTO ALL THE WAY!!!


Rosemary Sat Mar 17 13:08:06 PST 2001

Hi everyone,

It's cold here today. That means in the 40's but that's cold because yesterday was about 80 degrees.

I guess the weather jumping around has put me in a mood because I'm going to get half the notebook mad at me now.

DEBRA


Heather Sat Mar 17 09:54:59 PST 2001

Ben! Got a short story just waiting to be sent out right now? You're right about the four-times-a-year submission times for GlimmerTrain; January, April, July and October. But there are also contests in the in-between months, so keep checking and give it a shot!

I am.

Thanks, Mary! I knew that should be the defining point, but wanted a second opinion. Is everyone agreed on this?

Heather


Jerry Sat Mar 17 09:52:37 PST 2001

Oh, Johnny - another web site you may be interested in visiting:

http://www.tellsomeonewhogivesashit.org

Or.

http://www.kkk.com or http://www.newworldorder.org

Jerry


Rhoda rfort@familynet.net Sat Mar 17 09:51:58 PST 2001

Debra,

Don't feel too bad about losing your perspective. It happens sometimes. I did the same thing when I hired my "agent." I was warned, but I reasoned that at least the manuscript would get to people I couldn't get it to myself. I did get services rendered, but they were not what I thought they would be. At least you have something tangible to show for your mistake, like copies of your book. All I have is half a dozen form-letter rejections, much worse than the ones I got when I had submitted myself.


Rhoda


Jerry Sat Mar 17 09:45:50 PST 2001

Owhard - OUCH!! been there done that, decided it is not worth the pain Lessons I learned.

1. Don't try and fix it yourself, even if you know how, (and I do) it ain't worth the pain.

2. Don't pay someone else to fix it - paying for their first trip is the same as the cost of a good used dryer.

3. Don't bother buying a good used dryer, as the second trip the repairman makes to fix the good used dryer ups the cost to a cheap new dryer.

4. Don't buy the cheap new dryer as the cost of the third trip of the repair man to fix it ups the price to the cost of a new washer/dryer set by a major manufacture.

5. Skip steps 1-4 and go uptown to the local guy, buy the good brand name new industrial grade washer/dryer set - and you will be money ahead. Got the wife a new Amana commercial grade washer dryer, now not only did I have to pay for the set, but also paid for the new electrical wiring set up to handle the increased amperage of the new dryer, but also had to pay the plumber to come over and fix the drain to keep up with the new fast dump washer, that was pushing the water up the shower. Overall though I think I am still money ahead, and the wife doesn't cuss and swear at the new set like she did the old set. And the daughter who still can't afford the cost of a good used washer dryer set (I will let her read this post when she is ready) can come over and use our new set too. A task which she pays dearly by furnishing cappachino and bagels for Sat. Morning snack.

Jerry


Debra Sat Mar 17 09:07:07 PST 2001

Howard:

Yes, thanks for correcting me. I do mean subsidy.

I mean stupid thing to do.

Ben:

It might as well be Vantage Press. I got sort of taken. All I wanted to do was help girls. I have stories to tell. I would have never gone through them for those, never.

So. Live and learn. It's better than some people who live and don't learn. We all know people like that.

Debra


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Sat Mar 17 07:50:35 PST 2001

JOHNNY WIZARD - Heckuvva Drivel Generator! Where'dya buy/borrow/steal it?

MARY (and MOM) It's great to see Mom here! It reminds me of a line from a poem by William Stafford - something about "things that younger eyes could not have noticed." My mom (age 78) has been watching too, and asking if she could post something. Now I think she might!

BEN -- Roger that on GLIMMERTRAIN! And I always forget about it too. ROSEBUD used to be a real good venue also, but I haven't seen it around lately.

JERRY - I hope you saved Barney's butt -- maybe we can erect it as a tribute to Johnny W!

Reading list right now? S.K.'s "On Writing," and the latest issue of "GreenPrints" (the weeder's digest). The latter is an excellent quarterly pub for anyone who appreciates any phase of gardening and great writing. See www.greenprints.com for more info.

RANDALL - Perhaps it's more the lack of Sunday morning polishing?

DEBRA -- Do you mean Subsidy publishing? That sounds more like what you're describing. The author subsidises the publisher in order to get a book printed. The publisher can't lose! It's aka vanity press.

I noticed someone talking about scrolling up and down to see and comment on other posts. For those who may not have seen it before, try this:
Bring up a notepad session (I use NOTETAB LIGHT) along with your browser window. Right mouse click on the desktop, and click on TILE VERTICALLY. This puts the two sessions side by each, and you can see the notebook on one side, and the notepad on the other, and type as you go. Then copy/paste your notepad session into the posting box on the notebook.

Gotta go buy my wife a new dryer. I tried fixing the old one and am still in pain. When I popped the belt tensioner loose in order to remove the drum, it snapped and caught my hand pretty bad. Nobody around, and I couldn't reach it with my left hand to free it. Max Hurt! Took about 5-6 minutes to get loose from it. Took a big chunk from around the base of the pinky fingernail (will probably lose that), and another from the knuckle of the middle finger. Eyes watered pretty good there for a few minutes! Now (a half hour later) the feeling is starting to come back, and it really hurts!

see ya


Mary Sat Mar 17 07:11:54 PST 2001

Oh, I see Johnny Whizzer is back.


Jerry Sat Mar 17 07:04:02 PST 2001

Johnny Wizzard - I believe that you have us mixed up with another site, please visit:

http://www.psychoanalysis.com I am sure you will find the help you need there.

Thank you for dropping by.

Jerry


Mary Sat Mar 17 06:58:26 PST 2001

HEATHER: My understanding is that any works posted in a writing workshop are considered "works in progress" and not previously published. At least that is the way we got around it at the other workshop I belonged to before I found you guys. C-ya.

Thanks for all the comments to my Mom! We really appreciate them. Big hugs.


Ben W Sat Mar 17 02:34:12 PST 2001

Kitty: Thanks, you always see me in a different way than I do--if that makes any sense.

But Jonny Wizard? Where the heck did this doofus come from, and does he come here often? I'm sorry guys, I'm trying to be poilte, bite my tongue, and hold back--whatever--but this guy is in bad need of a better speech writer. He reminds me of that Mel Gibson movie about--"Conspiracy Theory" I think was the name--just a little bit over the edge. Eco-terrorism just around the corner, maybe? Of course, he can't be too paranoid, because the F.B.I. should be watching him. I don't need to be reminded about pollutants in the air when I consider all that I've put into my body willingly over the last twenty some odd years. In fact, I think I saw him in the streets of Vancouver last month, but then he was saying something about the world coming to an end and that I had to repent. I wonder how much it costs to repent? God, get a life...

Okay, I got that outta my system.

Randall: You can just ramble on as much as you want. Your insight is remarkable, and your take on life is right up my alley.

Heather: GLIMMERTRAIN is one of my favorite target markets, but it seems I always forget that they only accept at certain times of the year--a January-April-September-sort of thing--so that I always miss the deadlines. I guess it would be a good idea to write it on my daily calader.

Taylor: Let me say hi, and add that sometimes the best way to get a story going is to kill a couple of people. That opens things up.

JERRY: I read that King book on writing. I like his non-fiction as much as his fiction. He makes it sound so easy, and the fact that he just sort of fell into his success makes it all so much more attainable for everyone else, don't ya think?

Debra: I hope it wasn't VANTAGE PRESS. When I was a youngster, I wanted to be another Oliver Goldsmith. I wrote a poem a day, and got bored, so I made a poetic novel about Robin Hood--long before he came into fashion. The ms. was 150 pages. It needed to have a few rewrites, and definitely needed work, but I was young, I was 18 at the time, and decided to publish it myself. They sent me a contract, a hundred copies--which I sold in the neighbourhood pubs for $5.00 a shot, (autographed of course)--and then said they'd be willing to ship the rest out to me, and all I had to do was pay the freight, which at the time was around 700 bucks. I was already into them for 7500. I had to start working at the mill--which pretty well screwed me up as far as any further writing ambitions were concerned (but that's all supposed to be in the book Kitty wants me to write about the mill). Legitiamte publishers I found out later, will not even consider subsidy publishers like VANTAGE, and in fact, not since THE NINTH INSIGHT or whatever that book was that came out a few years ago, would they even look at anything self published. I told myself I would never pay for publishing a book again. They are supposed to pay you. That's how it works. And they will. Perseverance is the key word here. Small publishing houses would be the best way to get it published. We are not all going to make millions writing for a living. I doubt if I will ever be able to quit my job in the mill. Agents will come to you if you sell the book to a publisher, and say to them: Hey, look, I just sold this book, and I was looking for an agent to represent me because I want to make the best deal I possibly can. But by all means, go to a writer's conference. Too bad you don't live out here, because from what I've heard from the writers and agents and editors that attend the Surry Writer's conference, it's one of the best ones around. I wouldn't know if that's true or not, because I haven't been to any others. But they are very approachable. Jack Whyte, Diana Gabaldon are always here. Just send it out, all three of them, and when it comes back, send it out again. That's all you can do. Someone will take it. But research, and find your market, and then go get it.

Hallee: I think that might be my story? I don't know, but I know what you mean about the scrolling up and down part.

I don't know how you guys keep track of everyone and everything. I used to write long posts on here a long time ago, but now, if a person was to answer everyone, they would be long posts in general.

Teekay: Wear a hat, but something stylish.

Litter: Thanks for the email.

Mary: Your mother's awesome

And now I'm going to bed because I'm bagged. This will probably be one of the longest posts you'll see from me in a long time. But Kitty, you wanted to know what we're reading? I like to read short stories, because that seems to be all I want to write now. Alice Munro, Mavis Gallant, MacClean--all Canucks I know, but all considered to be the best in the field as well. I try to grab as many anthologies as I can and read as many stories as I can, but it seems I can only do that at work. One of life's little ironies: I get paid for reading I'm not supposed to be doing in the first place. But I guess you can get away with it when you're sitting on a boat and turn the radio off.
T.T.F.N.
Ben


Teekay Sat Mar 17 00:31:09 PST 2001

Hi All,
HEATHER: Oh, I've done that as well. And I keep doing it too. I read somewhere about how fools never learn from their mistakes, they just keep on going making the same mistake over and over again. That depressed me for a bit and then I decided that rather than a fool, I'm an optomist, I do the same whacky thing over and over again, but everytime I expect (hope) for the results to be better.
Once I coloured my hair black fringe, black sides, natural everywhere else. Sooooo bad.
And once I cut my fringe so short, there was nothing there. That was a really bad time.
And there's more, but I won't go into it. They were pretty much the worst though.

BEN: Two weeks huh? Just two weeks? I hope so much that your hairdresser friend is right.

BARNABAS: I was actually the one arguing, though I prefer to call it debating. The guy I was with was just calmly waiting for me to take a breath so that he could say something. Looking back, he would have made a wonderful husband.
This is a fault which I am trying to overcome.
I'm sure there might be plenty of male romance writers out there. :-) Go for it!

TAYLOR: AHA! Using my powers of deduction, I feel perfectly confident in saying that you are in actual fact.......a guy!
I know, I know, just call me Sherlock.

LITTER: HAHHAHAHAHA. I have no idea, but I'm really good at it.

HOWARD: Quote from the Darling Buds Of May:
"Perfik. Absolutely Perfik."

HALLEE: I'm so glad you weren't offended. I hate to offend. Honestly. That probably seems hard to believe, but it is true. :-)

MARY: Well obviously talent can be genetic. :-) That's probably an 'Oh, DOH!' statement right?

That's it, I'm orf fro a night of videos,
Just wanted to catch up on the posts coz I hate getting behind.


Heather http://www.glimmertrain.com Fri Mar 16 23:37:51 PST 2001

Oh, for the sake of our eyeballs, and all that is at least decent, Mr. Wizard! Stop posting in one elongated windbag column.

Randall, keep talkin'!

Hallee, happy move! Hope you get the internet hooked up again quickly! And I KNEW March 13th held grand significance - just not any definitive piles of ink-stained paper. Kaylee's miraculous presence is a much finer event to celebrate.

Mary, wish I knew what to say. Please encourage your mother for me; no wait I'll do it: Mary's Mom! Send in your stuff!


For all interested: GlimmerTrain Press Inc
is always looking for short stories - for contests and for publication! Check out the site I've posted above. There's a contest coming up! Just remember that any shorties we've posted here MAY not qualify. I was thinking of sending in "Bullroot's" but I will have to email the co-editors and ask whether they consider work posted here in this forum to be previously published work (it may be ok, especially since we post them much of the time to get crits and improve them)... Take a look at the FAQ's and submission/writing guidelines and you'll see what I mean. I think it just MIGHT be submissable. The guidelines aren't written in legalese, but the example conditions don't really cover it. Tell me what you guys think, will you?

May a blissful barrage of characters prance through your dreams.

Heather



Johnny Wizard nowhere@theuniverse.com Fri Mar 16 21:59:23 PST 2001

(Hi fellow writers. If anyone finds themselves further
interested, just type "Johnny Wizard" in a search, to
witness the deafening silence in the power of the word.)


Hi Friends

Thank you all for being here. Okay, so, what is it all
about then God? Well, primarily, it is our primal
fears of the unknowable. Example, our Air Forces
through the corruptible no leader NATO, is currently
dumping aluminum particles on us to kill you, or make
us all as the planet suffer miserably, to save facing
their personal fears through ego. Now, they are not
doing this deliberately to hurt ourselves necessarily,
but by our corporations refusing to represent the
public's interest, VLT's for example with Bush's poor
math skills, has us as the unheard screaming inside,
leaving them as evil without ourselves as God, fascists
under the power of the communists, and in so not being,
end all of life on our beloved Earth because they can't
handle that God is here. They get to tell themselves
secretly, that they're in on the truth without those
who, also secretly actually know better than everybody,
bigger and better than you or nature. They foolishly
think if they bite an apple, or sacrifice the injured
of Iraq, they'll just magically become accomplished
wizards or scientists without practice or study, who in
their stupidity would also claim you are not reading
this, or I am not the Prince of Peace and darkness as
the Son, the immortals immortal out on my own, looking
for a party. I am a living universe. They would say
to themselves, they're in with those in the know,
therefor, they can secretly hide themselves from their
cowardly fears as nazis, because these secret spy type
decisions, are made by the least informed and educated.
Example, almost everybody at the CIA. Life is not the
way these malcontents are treating themselves secretly
through our public, openly. They cause our needless
deaths, like they do with the innocent through
corporate wars, because they refuse to understand we
are of nature, not as the enemy, but as ourselves. As
Gods, we will continue with them to go to war with
myself, and in time, we will create a real heaven and
hell. All we want is justice and liberty, while
leaving the nazis to go it alone if they so choose to.
As I said internationally on Art Bell recently, while
speaking on true magic only existing through truth as
light or darkness, with evil demons just being stupid
ignorant evil people, myself being one with the
universe as a god stated, "has them as us". So, if I
were to side with the bogus TRIP patent laws, that
would make us all slaves to soulless corporations. The
action they believe they are doing to slow down Mr.
Bush's dummy death machine corporate automaton assault
on Mother Earth, can be slowed if they dump this poison
into our air. Surrounded by republicans as
republicans, circling down into hells, while ?I, say,
hey, you don't have to do that to ourselves. The
terrible thing also is, right wrong nazi republicans
don't like educated people because of jealousy, when it
should be envy, but their not intelligent enough to
know see? Like I say, they are our most fearful and
poorly educated, and are trained not to question or
think, but only obey orders from corporations as their
religion through sacrifice. Namely, their own.
Because they have taken these actions secretly against
us all, they haven't heard all the scientific data that
we know as the informed public. Like how everything
interrelates with each other as the ifinite universe
through God. What happens when we breathe these
pollutants? What effect does this action have against
our electromagnetic bodies? What about the evilest men
in existence at HARRP in Alaska, or the demons of hell
at Monsanto? What effect has their evil darkness on
the nature of nature that is of us all? What in heck's
name has this got to do with bath care products? Now,
these commies are sleeping in our doorways, because I
am everybody's best possible clean up crew, and inside
we all know we are true to God as love. I command all
NATO dumping of toxic waste on all of humanity to end
now. We will pay with our lives, if we do not address
these actions against yourself directly. If you are in
the Air Force, do not obey mindless illiterate commands
from the commies to continue this criminal assault
against all of nature as humanity. Take out your
commander if he orders you to continue this crime
against our concerns, continue as a soldier of mankind
to do this, until Mr. Turner becomes a real human
being by facing our bogus fears. Rush is a secret red
card carrying communist. I should know. They advocate
700 billion dollar corporate welfare recipients, who in
turn pay bribes to republicans to continue the
onslaught against every enslaved American, as the drug
industry does, who also receives billions in grants, to
get a tax break to steal further from us all. To
suggest, one of his secret commi friends, through
unethical activities, is more than a hundred thousand
times worth the man working as the middle class
struggling in America. The Washington Post has even
agreed, and they are considered already regressive
conservatives. They recently reported the top 400
corporate execs, who do little of anything for no one
but cash welfare checks, take more money from us every
year than 40 million average waged Americans. This was
printed shockingly. Americans committed to freedom
should be as outraged as The Washington Post was. You
see, all financial wealth is not synonymous with
someone who provides something to us as society in
America's communist state. America's nazi hitler
private reserve bankers are a perfect example of
communism. They steal our own assets for doing
nothing, and most cases have hundreds of billions of
dollars they claim to be their own now privately
stashed away, waiting for Bush to okay even further
takes from you as their God. That is what communism
is, and this so called recession they expect us all now
to suffer through for years and years. To stifle our
ideas, growth and potential through robbery from the
people as our capitals. Taking further from us as the
uninformed public. While Gates, does actually sell
something that people are willing to pay for.
(Although Amiga was the first multi-tasking computer,
Mircrosoft did lie about that, and the Amiga is still
the best for creative purposes. Also a much better all
around operating system, you actually can know what is
going on, but much alas, more expensive.) Not only
that, but Gates, in his spare time, does devote a
genuine concern for our political states. A
billionaire Democrat, figures eh? All world leaders
need to command our militaries to arrest any military
pentagon nazi official, that continues this assault
against you as mankind. I am still hoping and waiting
for official recognition with support from all the real
black berets. You can contract my office by phone call
with your concerns. Please, if you have a conscience,
flood our talk radio, and corporate news departments
with my plea to be heard publicly. We know all. In
less you as an American, are secretly a communist,
afraid of liberation, and granting all free speech. As
I have said, I am prepared to debate politely any of
the factual positions against myself born of God
publicly. Again, the unregulated defense department is
not serving for America's defence, because of the
infiltration of the secret idiots, without public
disclosure, has them as us hiding the spies, operating
against our interests for private corporate contract
swindles, or dumping bio warfare on us as the
unworshiped public. I will insure those responsible at
the defence department upon conviction, will serve the
remainder of their lives in prison, by now making their
continuing treasons actions illegal. Starting now.
Heavy duty style. Ride on!

Going stronger than ever without corporate cash
sponsorship on our souls,

the one and only,

John Wizard

Getting very serious with our superstitions, jealousy
and fear, but, still finding time for fun miraculously.


taylor Fri Mar 16 21:55:57 PST 2001

FINALLY!!
My creative juices are free flowing again...
I finally feel like Ive made a dent in my novel...
How chilvarous am I?
Is that a word? oh well...
The dent came at the expense of two characters' lives,

I have even started jotting down poetry, if you could class it as that...
THANKS PEOPLE!!


Jerry Fri Mar 16 21:35:31 PST 2001

Americo - this mac has hypercard on it, I haven't played around with it yet, and hadn't thought it to be anything special, but now I will have to play around with it a bit and see what it is, you have sparked my interest.

Jerry


Jerry Fri Mar 16 21:18:05 PST 2001

IT WORKED! - Although I hated to see old barny, our shetland/quarter horse cross go, I did it. Cut his blasted head off, all in honor of the great god of weather, ODIN. Hung his head up in the great oak tree in the town square, so all could see my devotion to ODIN.

The sun came forth, melting all the snow between here and Rapid City (all on the road at least) and the trip went very well, but I will miss old Barny.

Wife's Dr. did more tests, and will let us know on Monday what he thinks can be done for her painful knee. We have been doctoring now for over two years (he explained when checking her knee for the umpteenth time) and her boss at work is getting a bit anxious as to weather or not she can ever return to normal work, as is she.

Overall we had a great trip, I did find that the deer on the road are getting plenty of fiber, as can be seen by the deer s**t on the front bumper from the one who just about didn't make it across the road in time. We must have seen a thousand head of deer and antelope on the trip, more then we have ever seen, an indicator of a fairly mild winter and healthy wildlife.

Glad somebody liked my shorty's to tell the truth, I haven't much cared for what I have written lately, not real sure why, and I guess I didn't realize it until today when I was talking to our daughter on the trip and she asked about my writing. Then I realized that I was not at all satisfied with what I have been doing. I am going to have to sit down and figure out what I am doing differently, and correct that.

Well the trip was long and very tiring, so I am off to the land of nod, where my dreams can fix what my computer cannot, as I build images of stories to come.

Nite all

Jerry

Oh, someone asked what we were reading - right now, I have just finished the Breathern by Grishem, and am now in the midst of enjoying Stephen King on writing, which I find highly intertaining, and Stine on Writing, which I find highly informative, also working on the latest issue of writers digest, and some computer magazine the wife subscribed to for me, at the behest of our god-son who was selling subscriptions for school, along with the latest issue of the American Rifleman, and the American Legion Magazine.

It was a dark and blustery night in merry old England, when a knight happened upon an inn.

"My horse has gone lame, and I need a new steed to carry me on my mission to rescue the fair madin." he said to the inn keeper.

"Alas, sir, we have no horses at this inn, all we have is this great dane dog, but he is old and weak with the curr."

"But I must be on my way, the fair madin and all." explained the knight.

"Ah, no sir, I would never send a knight out on a dog like that!" replied the inn keeper.

Again, night all.

Jerry


Randall startiki@hotmail.com Fri Mar 16 20:38:04 PST 2001

Hello all! TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pass the wine!!!!!!!!!

Hop, I have mentioned the Dances With Wolves handle placed upon Anglos (ME!) writing of different cultures to Native American contacts. Makes no diff and I'm not surprised. Why? Well, mainly, we are all the same, inside, basically insecure, fragile, unsure totally unaware of what we are and why. Tribal influences and customs, Anglo, Hispanic, Chinese, all cultures, are dictated by tribal influences, fear, hope, dreams, environment, etc,. Environment is the greatest tribal influence oh humans, possibly because it is related to politics, but then one gets into fear there as well. Consquently, tribal aspects, protection of the human herd, (Human herd, Randall?)if you will, are part of our common humanity, at least genetic codes passed down from a 100,000 years of interaction with others in primitive, thus threatening environments. I see it all the time, this tribal influence. :-) It is on our site, (not written, as much as felt) how not, because...thats right, we're human. It's in everyday life, from home to home, family to family, job to job, country to country...SF writers are different than, say, biographers, or obit writers. However, like Bart Maverick's father said, "Thats not all bad."

Now, add the reluctance of a specific Native Culture to be splased over the written page without permission, equals silence. It is not so much an ignore it technique and it will go away, as in silence is dissaproval. Enough!

Why are a row of wrecked, worn out vehicles comperable to humans? Because, once they were bright, shiny and new. The joy in a beholders heart. A mechanical pact, between flesh and bone and steel and plastic...drive me where you choose, and I will care for you. Change oil, new tires, clean and care and I will protect with my metal body. I will take your family, safely down a road and in return you will grant care and love me. I will shield you from cold and rain, in return you shall clean me weekly, vaccumn my carpets, perform daily maintenance and be prideful of my ability to turn heads as we motor down the street.

Now, don't be uppity dear readers. Tour a wrecking yard sometime. Walk down the rows of discarded vehicles, knee deep in weeds, then stop. Look at the smashed fenders, broken windows, gutted interiors. Note some parts have been removed, transplanted to other mechanical machines. Wander down to the "squasher" where in only minutes, hydraulic/electrical power will reduce the pride in an owners eye to an object 18 feet long and a foot high.

I suspect some readers own no motorized vehicle. I have three, a friend has six. Texans are big on mobility, mainly because the darn state is so large. Internally combusted vehicles are expensive to own, require buckets of money to operate, and insure, and maintain. A major part of our life!

So are people.

The most despised person in your city, state or nation or world was once a baby, full of life, love and the joy in the arms of it's parents. So much promise yet to be fufilled. A treasure waiting to be loved and developed and taught the goodness in life. Faithful, loving and fun. Purity in soul and cleaness of eye.

So what happens? Sometimes? Sure, most of us turn out ok. Even me? (Aside from being longwinded on insignificant wordy tales!) Lack of maintenance? Lack of care? Lack of pride? No Saturday morning polishing? Why do some humans seem to be nothing more than famine or war or disease fodder? Or a sound byte on the news? Shunned. Discarded. Ignored. Trashed. Doomed to life in the weedy back lot of human waste.

What is it all about, this thing called life? I like to think, that yes, one day I will be on a back lot somewhere, among the weeds, missing a tire, or door, or fender. Then the God that knows the why for of it all will pick me up, place me in the "squasher," melt me down, and one fine spring morning return me as a bright shiny new baby boy. Once more the pride in a young mothers eyes.

So it seems (aside from soul) that there is not much difference between the life of a human and the life of a motorized vehicle. Is it? A promise kept, yet to be realized or a pact filled or unfilled.

Gotta go.

R


Debra Fri Mar 16 20:00:49 PST 2001

Litter:


Thanks for saying that. I think the flowers make a person feel hopeful and the boy and girl depict the situation. So it is my feeling that the girl who holds the book will feel hopeful about the situation. All three of the books will have a different black illustration.

I had asked one more question about Scotland before I wiped you out. You must not have seen it. I wanted to know if Scotland experiences domestic violence? Let me know, whenever you feel better. I'm sorry you and your family are so sick. We have had our share this year too. I know how awful that can be.

Kitty:

To get an agent so far I have sent it to one person. The women who reads the stuff first told me she loved it so much that she wanted to give it to her grand-daughter right away. The agent however didn't want to sign me up. I had asked him something about his fees that I think he didn't like. He was asking for 15% plus extras for some things I didn't get the particulars. All I asked her was would he consider waiving them so I could only pay the percentage. I went to Borders and ordered the 2001 Guide to Literary Agents book. It will come in next week. That's my next move towards getting an agent.

Scholastic is not the only house I sent my book too. I sent it to Rutledge and to my current publisher. My publisher sent me another contract for that one too. I wouldn't sign it though. I had learned to much about them in the time I sent it in and the time I received the contract. I would consider working with any publisher as long as they had a distributor. See my publisher doesn't. They try to sell the books themselves. I didn't know that when I signed their contract. I treated my book like an invention. All I wanted was to test the waters for my first one. Of course without a distributor there won't be too many waters to test.

Yes, after a certain amount of time, all the rights revert back to me. It will be next May 8, 2002. Then whoever is my publisher at the time, if anyone, they will have access to all three books. My ublisher now doesn't have any option on any other books, thank goodness.

Actually all three are done, but I only send the second one out at the moment, and the third one could always use more. The first one had a few more items that I tried to put in but everytime I got my book back to sign off as the final proofs, they were not in there. I finally gave up. One of them is the sentence "That's called a double standard." It will be in there as well as the other sentences that were left out someday.

A subsidary publisher takes money from the author first. As I mentioned I treated my first book as if it were an invention and paid money to get it out there. There were several reasons, one was because of the length, which I stand by. It is short. It is exactly what I wanted to say to my daughter whom I wrote it for. I thought why add more only to make it longer. This is the word formula that I think will work on her. So it is the way I want it when it is a book too.

What do you mean a linear approach to being published? I hate to sound dumb, but I really don't want to answer a question I don't fully understand and sound worse.

Another reason I went with a subsidary publisher is because if the book did well, then I might get a real publisher's attention. Back to no distributor, which they don't have, and that can't happen. They have two guys trying to sell the whole publishers books. They wharehouse their own books too. Forget about the fact that they ruined my format. I hate to keep bringing it up, but it was a real slap in the face.

I am full of hope. My motto is never say die. I hope it doesn't change to something else some day. I don't mind answering questions. I really need some advice. I need someone to point me in the right direction. Some how this will work. I just know it.

I want to help girls in situations I was in and found the answer too. I have teens in my family and some teens that live near me. They have really appreciated my perspective. I dont' have any advice for women my own age, maybe in another twenty years. That seems to be the way I'm running in the advice market. I learned valuable lessons and want to share them with the teens coming up. It seems like a market that has been done to death, but the mothers who bought my book have told me that they haven't seen anything like it before and really love it. So I have that to go on.

Thanks for getting back to me so soon.

Debra


Cassandra arcane128@hotmail.com Fri Mar 16 19:27:38 PST 2001

Mary- Don't worry, I'll either keep things short or put them in the appropriate place... if I have time to do shorties while classes are in full session. *winces* It just might maybe sort of kind of be semi possible.

Hallee- Thanks, the real secret is where the idea came from. Allien knows... *sneaky smile*

Kitty- Since you inquired as to what we're reading. I've got a whole stack of books on Duane Micheals, who is a photographer of the surrealist nature... that's for my paper for history of photography. But for fun I'm into The Farthest Shore by Ursula LeGuin and the The Forest House by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

well, it's off I go into the wild blue yonder.


up up and away!

Cassandra



Debra Fri Mar 16 19:19:43 PST 2001

Mary:

I'm sorry to hear that you had lost a child. You have my deepest sympathy.

Debra


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Fri Mar 16 17:38:39 PST 2001

Kitty - Nope haven't been to those. I was going to go once but my parents said no (this was a few years ago) because they didn't know Jack and didn't want me in Seattle alone.
I would have liked to go though.
*smiles*
Allein


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Fri Mar 16 15:52:56 PST 2001

KITTY: Yes, I have always been aware of my mom's writing talent. She could blow me right out of the water. She has completed a novel and when she submitted it, the editor who read it sent the manuscript back with notes in the margins on almost every page and a handwritten note that said, although her writing style was marvelous, her book didn't fit the "formula" they liked to use and that the conflict was too external to the two main characters. They wanted to see a conflict resolved between the two main characters, not two main characters working to solve a common problem. She requested that my mother please send her any future work and wished her well. I would love to get a letter like that. I am sure that if my mother had re-submitted it somewhere else, she could have placed it, but my son died at that very time, and she could never get back to being interested in it. I am hoping that getting her into shortie nights will break her back in slowly. Thanks for asking. :-)


Kitty edwyer@spherenet.com Fri Mar 16 15:26:16 PST 2001

Ben: Wow! Insightful (re: Sasq) and romantic (in the literary sense). An insightful romantic. What a way to start the weekend.

Sasquatch: My previous comment was not in reference to your secret, but to your earlier post. As to your secret, what I was going to say before reading Ben's eloquent words was: I am willing to take the path of enlightenment, if you would but show the way. The mountains are high, the path is narrow and treacherous, and the secret places where we frail humans might find shelter are unknown to us. Is there hope? Yes. Always. If you would but show us the way through the landscape of your place.

Allein: Lucky you. Does that mean you have been to one of their renowned writers/sci-fi parties complete with simmering hot and sour soup and a stroll through the Japanese gardens nearby? Wah! No fair! I've got to get back to the West Coast.

Americo: Where in Portugal? One of my closest friends immigrated from Portugal to Montreal. She had one of the busiest, most social households on the block. And the food she served was incredibly delicious. Happily for her but sad for me, she and her family moved to Arizona last spring where better jobs and better weather awaited them. What I know about Portugal I learned from her--and her mother, who "adopted" me.

Howard: I love Lewis Carroll and the Alice books.

Hallee: Happy, sane moving with the least amount of stress and destress.

Kitty


Hallee halleec@aol.com Fri Mar 16 14:52:21 PST 2001

AMERICO: Tell Jon that March 13th did not go unnoticed, as in our household, we celebrated my daughter's 4th birthday. He is forgiven for assuming other important events on that day, as Heather's novel runs a close second.

LITTER: Well thoughts being sent your way.

ROSEMARY: Thank you. It's warming to know someone thinks of me...and then thinks of me kindly. It was rough - lots of downed trees and such, but we made it through. Spend your spring in sunny Florida...ha! But, you're in Texas, right? You get weather right before us, and I remember you posting something about rain and thinking that our turn was next.

CASSANDRA: I enjoyed your shorty.

TEEKAY: Aww...((((((Big Hugs)))))))) No fun. :(

ALLEIN: Well done.

JERRY: I liked both of the stories. Saw the end of the second one coming, though.

MARY: Your shorty...to the point, for sure. You took my idea - haha.


HEATHER: Library night - how wonderful. Kaylee's been begging me to take her to the library - I just don't have the free hours I need, because once I get her in there, I would have to drag her out. Her grandmother has even stopped taking her to the toy store - she just takes her to Barnes and Noble (our major book chain) and gets a cup of coffee while Kaylee emmerses (sp?) herself in the children's section.

CHRISTI: Hillarious.

HEATHER: You, too.

TEEKAY (again): I am by no means offended. (haha) (hug)

Okay - I'm tired of scrolling up and down. Whomever (whoever?) wrote the one about the wife and the brother and the sister - I liked that one, too - but there was something missing from it - just can't put my finger on it.

OKay - time to finish packing. Conan's friends and their trucks show up at 7:30 in the morning, and you couldn't walk into my house and tell I'm moving tomorrow. I am a last minute kind of gal.

**Til my computer is hooked up at the new house**

Hallee


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Fri Mar 16 14:37:56 PST 2001

Why I love this place:
(one of my favorite quotes)

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
"We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

------
SASQUATCH -- You're beginning to frighten me.
-
LITTER - Hope you feel bigger and better and stronger right soon! ( who was that masked man??)
-
MARK - Where'd you go?


Heather Fri Mar 16 14:01:20 PST 2001

I don't have a clue how that happened. Half a post.
Ah, well,

it was under 500 words!

Ha ha ha

Heather


Heather Fri Mar 16 13:58:41 PST 2001

Americo, (oh, boy, here goes, just jump right in and say it)
I don't have my novel finished yet. I missed my deadline again. Don't tell Jon just yet in case he has a fit and decides to forbid me from his catnip patch!
It will be our secret.

I am, however, progressing well, and as I forcasted in January, I believe I should be finished this novel by my birthday (May 13). I have made true to my promise (to myself) that I would write at LEAST one whole scene per day rather than a set number of pages, so that I will push myself even harder towards the finish. So far so good, and
looking even better.

This week coming up should prove even more productive as this is my week off regular work and we have successfully beaten the last symptoms of a very nasty flu. Even after the major symptoms were over, there were headaches and fatigue that lasted another week and a half.
Litter: I sincerely hope you haven't caught the same bug that visited us here.
Micturition. Now that's a word I haven't heard since I was a nurse! (No, nobody really wants to know, right?)

Well, we'll leave it at that for now. Ta ta - library night and dinner and then... writing!

Hats off to a great turnout for shortie 'Secrets' and looking forward to next week's 'Mercy'. Hmmmmm

Heather


Heather Fri Mar 16 13:58:34 PST 2001

Americo, (oh, boy, here goes, just jump right in and say it)
I don't have my novel finished yet. I missed my deadline again. Don't tell Jon just yet in case he has a fit and decides to forbid me from his catnip patch!
It will be our secret.

I am, however, progressing well, and as I forcasted in January, I believe I should be finished this novel by my birthday (May 13). I have made true to my promise (to myself) that I would write at LEAST one


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Fri Mar 16 13:30:40 PST 2001

Kitty - I'm right across the water from Seattle so I'm fairly close to Jack and Fran.
*smiles*
Allein


Ben W Fri Mar 16 12:31:38 PST 2001

Me again:

Sasq: The egg is this fragile life we all hold in our hands, the secret of life we can never know the answers to; the promise of a future we can never see. When it is broken, we are dead: Life has been revealed, and is over--gone. There are no more secrets, no more promises, just an empty shell, the body.

But that's just my interpretation.
Ben


Ben W Fri Mar 16 12:19:41 PST 2001

Just for the hell of it:

A load has gone--it's off my back--it should
Have gone some years ago, but I thought
It was a growing part of me--all caught
In conflict and distress. Perhaps I could
Have held up longer had there been no flood
Of pressure weighing in? No holding back,
Not now; no thinking I could force attacks,
Or full response, because it's gone, its blood
An empty tomb. And what is this dead place?
An emptiness where once sat my heart? Force
it? It's nonsense to pursue it, to trace
What is truly a waste of time. The course
Is clear to me: To forge ahead with Grace--
Approach the coming years with no remorse.

It means nothing. I just wanted to write a sonnet.
Ciao.


Americo Fri Mar 16 12:04:59 PST 2001

Kitty,
I'm from Portugal.
Mary,
That's the bridge. You are a well-informed person. That's good.
Rachel,
Your post of thanks sounded to me like "The Song of Songs" (Solomon?) of a very happy woman. Thanks for the kind remark about my loyalty and truthfulness. Same to you.
Heather,
Jon asked me, as his secretary, what he had in his agenda for the 13th March. I told him that I had lost the agenda... But he may ask again. What shall I tell him?


Fri Mar 16 11:49:48 PST 2001

Litter, is "I have a shortie" a declaration or a confession?


Kitty edwyer@spherenet.com Fri Mar 16 11:41:11 PST 2001

On my way back home from taking Jackson to lunch yesterday, we stopped at Chapters, the local mega-bookstore. On a whim I checked to see if any of Britomart's books were available and there was one on the shelf!!! So, Britomart, if you are checking in, you must add Canada as another place where your books are readily available. Naturally I snatched up The Infernal and I am looking forward to a juicy read this weekend. Which got me to thinking: I wonder what everyone else is reading?

Debra: Thank you for bringing me up to date regarding your writing projects. I do have a few questions: What have you done to date to get an agent? Is Scholastic the only house that has seen your nonfiction project? Is it the only house you want to work with? Are the three completed fiction works sent out? If not, why not? Are you taking a linear approach to being published? What is a "subsidary" publisher, I'm not familiar with that term? And by being published with them do they have the rights to sell the book for a certain amount of time at which point the rights revert back to you? Do they have an option on any other books? Okay, that was more than a few questions. Please ignore them if I am being too invasive. I'm just trying to understand the perameters.

sasquatch: Yeti wise and funny

Allein: At least I got the right coast (or would you say left coast, haha)! Are you near Jack and Fran?

Viv: I guess you know all the verses of "What I did for Love." Living in Japan must be a great adventure. Hope you are keeping a journal. Ted goes to Asia at least 4 times a year and Japan is usually on the itenerary. Have you read Japan: It's not all Raw Fish by Don Maloney or I am a Cat by Soseki Matume. Ted picked them up on one of his trips. There is also a new mystery series featuring a Japanese-American who goes to Tokyo as an English Teacher and ends up in the middle of murder investigation by Sujata Massey (The Salaryman's Wife is the first in the series).

Barnabas: I am not Asian, but I did spend some of the happiest years of my childhood on Taiwan living on the outskirts of Peitou, a suburb of Teipei in what had once been a summer house that perched on the side of a mountain and was fronted by a red gate.

gariess: Haha! That canteloupe couplet was sooo bad it was good. You deserve no mercy.

Mary: Your mother's contribution to the short works was perceptive. Were you aware of her writing talents?

Americo: If you wouldn't mind, where are you located? I don't think the U.S. For some reason I thought Europe, but maybe it is South America?

Rosemary: Or go to the late showing and then you only have to contend with noisy adults.

Litter: Speedy recovery. I did ask where you were located then waxed fondly about an anniversary trip to Edinburgh. Oh, and I did my cheerleading bit for that tasty Scottish delicacy, haggis. I think Rhoda committed to trying it on her upcoming trip. Perhaps you could recommend someplace that serves traditional fare garunteed to make you a convert and at a reasonable price?

Rachel: I may be late, but I am truly sincere in wishing you and Sebastian health and joy as you embark on the great parent/child adventure. From your post, you seem to still be floating on the euphoria that kicks in after labor--and from what I can gather it was one heck of a labor. Felicitations to you and your happy family. This is the year when my youngest goes into double digits and I am beginning to realize that there are no small children in my house anymore! How quickly they grow! Enjoy.

Kitty


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Fri Mar 16 11:15:29 PST 2001

HALLEE: Hiya...smiles.

CASSANDRA: I was afraid this would happen. Please, please don't think for one second that a long story for shortie night is "breaking any rules". Feel free to go on as long as you need to about the topic. Post the longer works in the Workbook from now on, but by all means, please post them.

LITTER: Curiosity killed the cat and you've just about murdered me with your secret. Lucky I have a good three or four lives left.

Great shorties everybody. Hi sasquatch.

Next week's shortie theme: MERCY


sasquatch Fri Mar 16 11:12:10 PST 2001

debra person i sasquatch marvel that you have seen within my words this you say. never thought this way since i sasquatch am not as humans persons who must answer the One for this. only humans persons must do. i sasquatch am only creature not made in likeness of the One as humans persons. no, the meaning of my words was simple observing what is true and able to be seen if looked at. i must go.


Litter http://www.litterali.com Fri Mar 16 10:20:34 PST 2001

Arghhhhh

My whole family has been blighted with sundry ailments -- flu, chest infections and glandular fever… (my nearly 18 year old has been kissing too much!) Having been laid low I have no doubt missed some stuff before Jack archived the last time. If anyone asked anything (Debra?) that I haven't answered then, by all means, ask again.

DEBRA -- had a look at the cover of your book -- they may have cocked-up the page layout and what not but I think that the cover looks pretty good and works well. As for the content, I'm male/biased/defensive/etc., so my opinion doesn't count :o)

PERPETRATORS of the heinous knock-knock jokes -- be warned! I do not want to have to leave my sick bed to have to hunt you down and hurt you!

Paronomasic Jokes -- "You can't have your kayak and heat it!" Ahaha hahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahah…

TEEKAY -- interesting visual image you conjured up -- just how does a person of the distaff gender perform such an act of micturition?

I had a shortie, I really did! I wanted so much to show it to you all but in good conscience I could not. I wrestled with my feelings of overwhelming ambivalence before I decided. It was a heart-rending choice -- a choice between doing the right thing and, ehm, doing the right thing. Consequently, you may think that, it should have been an easy choice?

Alas, ** upcoming cliché warning** when all said and done I made the decision and, in the best interests of everyone on the workbook, none of you will never find out what I really had to say.

You see, it is a secret and if I tell you I will have to kill you! Anyone still want to hear it?

RACHEL -- you'll have to learn to side-step quicker. Glad the motherhood bit is going OK -- tickle that little bit between Sebastian's eyebrows for me.

Now I'm going to curl up and groan a while,

Litter


Debra Fri Mar 16 10:10:58 PST 2001

Sasquatch:

I decoded your secret.

The Egg means Easter and religion.

The secret is the way people looked at Jesus before he died.

The promise is his coming back and he did.

The broken is people having all that proof and still doing things that are sinful.

The revealed is the people that come back after learning the truth, sometimes the hard way.

The gone are the people who never come back.

The empty shell represents the being in it, God, and who is now amongst us.

How's that?

Debra


Cassandra arcane128@hotmail.com Fri Mar 16 10:09:05 PST 2001

Hi all. Sorry, I was one of the offending shorties. I just checked the story and realized it was a little lengthy. Guess I just got carried away *big smile*

Barnabas- My new idea doesn't really deal with the supernatural so much... but I'd still love to read the prolog to Psiforce. I'm currently reading a critquing Allein's latest chapters, but feel free to send it whenever the mood strikes you.

Anywho, I have a 20 page paper to get my little butt moving on... and to think, I thought history of photography would be a 'Fun' class. :(

it's slavery time for me...

cya

Cassandra


sasquatch Fri Mar 16 09:43:58 PST 2001

hello again i sasquatch have hard time with this one. the words are not all together but perhaps the meaning is clear.
here is my secret work.

egg
secret
promise
broken
revealed
gone

no more secret
promise either
only empty shell

i must go


sasquatch Fri Mar 16 09:12:03 PST 2001

i sasquatch have a secret. but if i tell it will not be still a secret. i must go.


Dave banky@talk21.com Fri Mar 16 09:09:59 PST 2001

If you want to see a movie without any kids, just go when they're in school. It worked fine for me and Toy Story 2.


Rosemary Fri Mar 16 07:51:14 PST 2001

Morning Peeps,
(Easter is coming)

About the successful male romance novelist, a friend mentioned one just yesterday. His first name (on the books) is Leigh. Due to the fact that I don't read romance fiction and wasn't really interested in his name, I don't remember the last name. MARY LOU, if you see this post, jump in.

So--Men can write romance novels just as women can write westerns or Si. Fi.

Saw the preview of the new Harry Potter movie on TV this morning. I definitely want to go, but how to find a theater that won't be full of yelling kids?


TAYLOR,
Why not knock knock jokes? A lot of people seem to like them. I only know Aggie jokes. Don't know why, didn't go to school there.

HALLIE,
Saw on the news you're having bad storms near-by. Stay safe we need your humor and expertiese.

I started a short shorty about secrets but got sidetracked. Maybe I'll finish it and post it today, maybe not.

Gone for now,
Rosemary


Debra Fri Mar 16 07:32:31 PST 2001

Nice shorties guys. I really look forward to shortie night. I know I won't always write one and I won't feel like I let anyone down. I do always look forward to it though. I know I will read some great stuff. That's the point. Right? Also, it helps when sometimes we let life get in the way of writing anything at all. So when we have a long week and we haven't done a bit of writing, not really, we have shortie night to make it not such a lost week. As far as rules and guidelines go, I always complain going in and coming out, I'm really glad I had to work a little harder.

Baranbas:

I don't buy CD's with bagpipes but I don't ever turn away from them either. I do love them.

Christi:

I'm glad you liked it. I guess it might sound like a beautiful story if you are not one of the characters.

Jerry:

Praise from you is high praise indeed. Thank you. I also feel proud to be your friend. I wonder about some day we all pick a weekend and find a place to have a little get together. How does Foxwoods sound? hahhahah. I've never been. The group of writers notebook in a place like that. I see some longies coming out of that one.

Debra


Rhoda rfort@familynet.net Fri Mar 16 06:54:41 PST 2001

RANDALL,

I don't know. That poem does sound kind of neat, but I really think that it is Klingon rather than Viking.

Best knock, knock joke of the week:

HOP and his yodeling one.


taylor Fri Mar 16 04:31:29 PST 2001

about their being a successful male romance novelist, I dont know
I thought i may try one...already got a setting, lead character... kind of drag me away from my main project


taylor Fri Mar 16 04:27:49 PST 2001

Hi all...
why all the knock knocks?

just seen Return to Me...Duchovny reminds me of Harrison Ford....
reading different kinds of books now, on old Mills & Boon
now...
Chivalry is not dead... its very, very dormant


Hallee Fri Mar 16 03:55:17 PST 2001

HOP: Actually, the current president of the Romance Writers of America is a guy. I was surprised when I found that out. I have a feeling, too, that many published romance novelists are guys using a feminine pen name.

Hallee


Barnabas "Hop" humanarchives@hotmail.com Fri Mar 16 03:26:52 PST 2001

Sorry I've been away. Busy, real busy.

I've been critiquing Mark and Kru's novel. So Mark and Kru check out the workbook.

Does anyone know if there are any successful male romance Novelist (maybe I can be the first!)?

Seems chivalry debate's gotten quite a response.

Now I usually don't do cheesy jokes most of the time but I actually remember this knock knock joke which is probably my most favourite joke.

Guy A: I bet I can get you to yodle
Guy: B: I don't believe you.
Guy A: Okay.... Knock! Knock!
Guy B: Who's there
Guy A: Little old lady.
Guy B: Little old lady who?

Get it (try saying it out aloud, it may help)?

Eddie
Did you hear that burning infected cows is bad, it spreads the disease instead?
Here in N Z the Germans or French (I think) announced that the cows here had foot and mouth when they didn't, so the Germans had to do a public/global apology including having prominent scientists announce no such thing has happened.

Gareiss
Didn't I already say something like that about chivalry? I wish people wouldn't repeat ideas!

Sasquatch
Never mind then.

Mary
Writing is definitely an addiction. I keep getting the urge to write. Sometimes I find myself chanting dialogue.

Your mother's shortie squeezed me in an iron grip. I live at least part of the present in the past and wrestle with my emotions many times.

Heather
Okay, let's all be chivalrous, all I wanted people to realise that chivalry has had a bad history to it.

Rhoda
Your comment about the Titanic reminded on my view of death. For some strange weird reason for the last few weeks I felt strange. Sort of hyper-alive to the point where if I died this instant I feel I'll come back as a ghost and continue living as I have except as a ghost. I guess if this feeling continues and I had to sacrifice myself to save someone I probably will. Weird right?

Teekay
The guy you spoke off who argued for three hours with you sounds a lot like me. I usually don't concede unless I'm convinced my argument wrong otherwise I keep going although I usually stop for friendship's sake or if I have other pressing matters.

Debra
Another bag pipe lover! How did a Chinese (like myself) get to like bagpipes you may ask?
I used to be in Boys' Brigade and since it was invented by a Scot their Bands usually have a bagpipe section which is where I got my love the sound of bagpipes while I won't go out and buy a music CD of bagpipes I don't mind a good tune now and then.

Viv
I see you too have the "cultural barrier" problem as well. It's annoying at times having to explain what you take for granted most of the time right?

We have a word where I come from for foreigners. I'm not going to say it though because I need to work out what it means maybe I'll post it as a dialect tip instead.

Your recount of Japan society reminds a lot of home.
Actually, I'm wondering if there are any more of my race out there lurking in the notebook. I seem to be the only Chinese around and frankly all I see is "Westerners" around me. It would be nice to know of others like me who grew up in competitive environments and still turned out okay in terms of creativity.


Randall
Read the prologue to my novel and you'll see how my characters can do "magic" with their minds. They definitely have a power source in my case however I didn't involve sorcery in this novel.

As for contact with other races, not all of the other races are welcoming, you have to be really sensitive for one thing, of course their sensitivity changes from person to person.
Don't tell us what you think of dances with wolves, tell your contacts!

Nichol
You get used to the notebook. I've only been here for a few weeks and look at the debates I've started.
I am definitely a non-productive member of society since I'm studying now.

Ben
You know, teenagers do grow up (even if you believe they won't ever). I think Jerry would be a prime example of this.

Cassandra
Since I was brought up in a rather traditional society I'd probably be one of those people staring at you being chivalrous.

If your new idea's about say supernatural events could you read the prologue to "Psiforce"?

I think you should thank Heather because if it wasn't for her comment about honour and chivalry it wouldn't have started my comment which started the whole thing.
You're welcome and yes I do know who I am. Sorry, I really love and crave taking credit.

I never got a lot of credit or praise in school or anything I did actually. I did a lot of things but was never "excellent" at anything except for possibly music which was forced upon me. That's just a tiny peek into my world anyway.

Rachael
Take it as a compulsory holiday and enjoy it because you'll not get the chance for at least another 10 months.

Here's my shorty "The avatar". It's not really about secrets but it has the word "secret" in it- It's a small, brief and early draft exert from what I hope will be my greatest novel trilogy, I haven't started on it yet. How do I know it's going to be my greatest? Because. Just because.
I was interested in chivalry because it would be one of the themes I was going to tackle is this novel.

It is a place, void of everything. Only two presences occupy it.

"You can't destroy me. I'll still be here."

"Maybe I can't destroy you but you'll never re-emerge again," she says as the energy of Chaos surround her.

"Fool, you serve me. As long as you live so do I."

"Wrong. As long the true God of Chaos lives so do I."

"So, you know of my secret. Then you know I destroyed him years ago. Only his energy remains, and at my disposal."

" I know you believe you destroyed him years.." Her eyes turn to inky blackness.

" No. I destroyed you," his presence shies away.

" Think again evil one." Her voice full of the God's power.

" You won't succeed today," his presence returns stronger than ever.
" Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. I'm immortal just like you. With each life time I grow stronger and I remember more about my true nature." She faces the presence as the showdown between Good and Evil repeats again.


Ben W Fri Mar 16 02:06:51 PST 2001

TEEKAY: My best friend is a hairdresser, and I once asked him what the difference was between a good haircut and a bad one. Answer? Two weeks. And that's why they study in London?
Ben


Hallee halleec@aol.com Fri Mar 16 02:01:59 PST 2001

SECRETS SHORTY SHORT

“You have to think, sir. Think of anything he might have gotten into. Even if you aren’t sure it could be poison, we’d know. But we have to know what it was so that we know how to treat it.”

Jeremy stared at the lifeless body of his four-year-old through the glass wall in the emergency room. His wife was leaning with her forehead against the glass, silently watching the people working on him, “He was on our bed. Nothing was out of place.”

“Think. It could be anything.”

“Doctor!”

He whirled and nearly ran back to the room. Jeremy could see the lights on the monitors, could hear the sounds of the alarms. “I have to tell them,” he said quietly.

“Don’t you dare.” Jessica turned. Her eyes were wide, her face pale. “You don’t know that’s what it was for sure. They would come and take him away.”

“If I don’t tell them, he could die.”

Her eyes glazed over and she turned back around, putting her hand on the glass, her fingers spread. She was pressing so hard that her knuckles were white. “No. He’ll be fine.” He watched as her shoulders shook from the emotions she was repressing. “He’ll be just fine.”

Giving her a disgusted look, he stepped forward and put his hand on the door. Jessica screeched and attacked. “Don’t. Don’t! No, we can’t. Don’t do it!”

It took little effort to knock her off and rip the door open. The doctor didn’t even look up until he spoke. “Cocaine.” Everyone in the room froze, giving him their full attention. He took a deep breath and plunged forward. “We had two grams in the drawer of our nightstand. I can go home and check, see if it’s still there.”

They stared. One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Then the doctor barked out an order, and the team that had been floundering for ten minutes, not knowing what steps to take or which path to choose suddenly had purpose. Jeremy stood back and watched, thinking it was like a choreographed dance as they worked their practiced moves to put the life back into the little body.


Heather Fri Mar 16 00:49:33 PST 2001

Must have been the hair stories that inspired my shortie...

Hair risen.

Heather


Heather Fri Mar 16 00:47:44 PST 2001

pardon my typos, please!

'Despair'

and 'Fiona pointing'.

There may be more, but I've stopped counting.

Heather


Heather Fri Mar 16 00:45:21 PST 2001

Teekay, don't dispair - I myself don't want to leave the house lately because (and know whatcha mean about not answering the door without makeup and hair goo): I decided to snip my own bangs again. BIG MISTAKE. I may be pretty darned good at cutting other people's hair (my best friend is the best hairdresser alive and she taught me a few things) but my own hair? Forget it. Every time I get pissed off at my bangs I tell myself to just wait until my hair appointment and no matter what, do not do anything rash. Well, this was beyond rash. I didn't even aim. I just grabbed the chunk of hair that was tickling my eyelashes and s-nnnn-i-p! Oh, shit.

I've been doing things like this since well, let's see: grade seven. You should have seen my hair (should I say head?) the day I had to go up in front of the WHOLE SCHOOL to receive an award. Oh, you would have laughed until your socks were full of poop. I was practically bald. Nobody noticed the pinking shears were missing. You know that spells LAUGHING STOCK.

Rachel - feel for you with the jet-propelled BM's! I've seen it fly faster than a speeding bullet first hand too when my kids were tiny... must be the backpressure.

Ok... great shorties so far and here's one more

(Forgive me, my COMBINED post is much longer than the 500 word limit, but my shortie isn't!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Shhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ok, Ok, here he comes, and don't you DARE laugh," Fiona pointing the end of her pen at me.

"Now you've gone and dared me," I smirked back at her, and quickly lowered my eyes back to the computer screen. I fidgeted and swore that I wouldn't look. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he'd stopped at the next workstation and I heard him mumbling something to Grant or Dean. I can't look! But I was going to have to look. He was on his way over here next.
Oh, dear God, please don't let me laugh. Please.

He greeted me first.
"Mornin', Mr. Thompson," I replied, my face flushing and my eyes fighting to stay focused on his. I heard Fiona snort and that was it. My smile grew to the size of the grille on a Mack truck. I let out the smallest little whiny chuckle through my teeth. Mr. Thompson's comb over was this complicated, hairsprayed cartoon of a thing. Undone, the lock of hair he coiled on top of his head must have been 3 feet long.

"Windy out this morning, isn't it?" he asked, shifting his briefcase to the other hand.

"Um hmmmm," I replied, deadpan serious and biting down hard on my lip to keep the shreik in. Didn't he know WE KNEW?

"Is something funny, Miss Kaye?" He was so serious. So, so serious.

"Oh, not at all. Just thinking of a cartoon I read this morning..." and I went and did the unthinkable. I looked up at the gelatinous monstrosity and it wouldn't stay in my mouth. I hooted. I giggled. I bloody well guffawed. That living hairsprayed skull cap of his had been ripped up in the wind and was perched, tilted back on his shining scalp as if it were a fashionable hat!

When my laughter died off I heard Fiona thunking her head on her desk.



~~~~~~~~

Mary's MOM: Loved your shortie. You're right. My shortie was more about gossip than a real secret.

Heather








Thu Mar 15 22:24:28 PST 2001

F***ing hairdressers!!


Teekay Thu Mar 15 22:23:28 PST 2001

EDGAR: Good to see your finally catching on to who's boss here.


Teekay Thu Mar 15 22:17:03 PST 2001

Maaaaan, I'm sorry if I rained on anyone's parade or pissed in anyones pocket. (Now who did I get that charming expression from? i think it might have been MARY actually. :-))
I don't want to stifle any ones creativity either, and I wasn't pointing fingers or naming names cos I had no idea who wrote them, I was just scrolling around to see what was going on.

Now about creativity. Sometimes, just sometimes creativity could use a bit of stifling.
Like how creative the hair dresser was while cutting my hair today.
I am now suffering from a major case of depression bordering on suicide because I now look like a very ugly version of David f***ing Cassidy.

It was soooooo bad that I got a fit of giggles right there in the hairdressers and I could NOT stop. And that made me look even more revolting which just made me laugh more. It was a very vicious circle.

I got home, where I was confronted by 2 very savage teenagers who said to me, "What did I tell you? Hmmmmm? I told you NEVER to do that again to your hair didn't I?????"

They then dragged me to the bedroom where we emptied most of the contents of gel onto my sad old head, which did make it look much better and then I plastered my face with makeup, which made that look much better, so, at least there is something I can do.

Trouble is, for the next 6-8 months I'm not going to be able to step out of the door, or answer it without wads of makeup and hair gel.

So if any of you people out there are feeling down or out, just think of me and count your blessings. :-C


Christi Thu Mar 15 21:12:37 PST 2001

Holy shnikies, there's been a whole lotta posting going on. Crud, this post will surely exceed the length of my shortie!

Allein, I thought your shortie was great and I'd like to know what happens next!

Anonymous knock knocker, You must die. Or at least be sent to your room. :)

Nice to see you participating, Cassandra!

Teekay, Hee! HEE! You crack me up! And I LOVED your knock knock joke! I'll have to say nice things about you more often. :)

Hey Jack, Kitty, Americo, Sasq, Gariess, Hey Heather! Please don't flog me if I missed someone; I'm vewwy tiwed.

Thanks to Mary for being the short shortie mistress and for laying down the law! Whocha! (That was a very laaaaaame attempt at a whip sound effect. Ugh)

Oh Ben, that was so sad. I hate that this kind of thing scars so many lives. Great story.

Allein, I'm very glad you're NOT from California. I can't help disliking L.A. in particular for all the snootiness and the smog and the etc. Just try getting someone to smile at you there--it can't be done! Okay, rant finished.

Rachel, Thank you, thank you! I'm a fairy godmother!!! Oh I'm so excited. I can't wait to get my wand.
And I don't doubt for a second about Sebastion smiling so early. My son did too, and it was the sweetest sight ever. BIG HUGS!
And P. S. You listen to your doctor, girlie! Take gooood care of yourself.

Mary's Mom, Your poem was deep; I loved it! Now I know where your daughter gets it from. :)

Viv, I like your shorties; please don't stop writing them. Teekay wasn't making any reference to talent, only to length.

Edgar, Nice shortie!

Jerry, HEE! Great joke. Reminds me of the one with the punchline "an obscene clone fall."

Debra, Absolutely beautiful. *sniff* Thanks for telling.

Hey Randall! And goodnight!

Aw thanks, Jerry. I liked yours too! (T'was quite suspenseful.)

Night all,

Christi


Rachel Thu Mar 15 20:32:13 PST 2001

Allein - Thank you so much for the book! It came in the mail today. I Love that story. I heard it once years ago. It was told in my son's grade one class. Yup, I'm one of those mom types who goes in to help with the reading, and crafts. The story stuck in my mind and I have told it and sung that song to my children from then on.

I was delighted to find the book in print, in my very own hands! Thank you (big hugs).

I read it to Sebastian, Daniel, Jordan and Alex. Corey was on the phone with a girlfriend or I'm sure he would have sat for the reading as well. All of my kids are story junkies. They love to be read to.

The card was great! Love the translation. I have been a urination station for Sebastian all ready. He also shot a poo at me! It was shocking. I kind of forgot about how fast and with what pressure babies can have a B.M. YIKES!

Hugs for yah!

Rachel

All - On the topic of Short Secrets or Secret Shorts, or... Well, I have been working on several stories with this as the theme. However, if I were to share them, they wouldn't be very secret, would they (grin/wink)?


Jerry Thu Mar 15 20:21:13 PST 2001

Debra - yours is the greatest seceret story, because it is so touching. When I read it, I realized how proud I am to know someone with your gumpshun.

Christi - good shorty, and short too.

Jerry


http://www.radnor.addr.com/teachinged.shtml Thu Mar 15 20:20:39 PST 2001

ALLEIN: This is a link to some free software that teaches you Japanese language and all kinds of things. The program is called Nahongo Lingo. Just click on the name to download it once you get to the site above. Good luck.


Thu Mar 15 20:05:05 PST 2001

Christi's......sorry


Thu Mar 15 20:03:52 PST 2001

Christie's story was 425 words....just as another example for length......that is the last one I will count. C-ya


Randall startiki@hotmail Thu Mar 15 20:03:38 PST 2001

Greetings from wind blown Texas.

Norsemen!!!!!!!!!!

Vikings!!!!!!!!!!!

Odin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Lo, there do I see my father.

Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters, and my brothers.

Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.

Lo, they do call to me.

They bid me take my place on Asgard in the halls of Valhalla,

Where the brave may live forever."

A Viking Prayer.

Where the brave may live forever Americo. Forever.

Kinda neat, huh.

Uh, reckon they might have room in the back, perhaps in the basement? I mean, brave is relevant. Right? Sure that was fine when swords, plunder, looting was in vogue. But brave now? Morally? Ethically? Brave in traffic? Brave in crossing busy streets? Brave in WRITING? Being exceptionally brave when one SAYS they are a writer? In public! Perhaps brave is in danger today, like chivalry? In my writers world brave would be travelling to Window Rock. Stand in front of the Navajo Tribal Council and announce I formatted my book using THEIR traditions, legends, beliefs?

NOW THAT MIGHT GET ME A FRONT ROW IN VALHALLA! FREE TICKET!

Say goodnight, Randall

Goodnight Randall


Christi eggnoggin@yahoo.com Thu Mar 15 19:55:33 PST 2001

Okay, I wasn't going to write a shortie this week. I really wasn't! But then I had a little idea pop in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone, and what the hell else can I do but post it here? I didn't work too long on it, so I hope ya'll will forgive me. I'm posting before I lose my nerve and now I get to catch up on the other posties.
(The title is in honor of ALL of us who are getting putridly sick of knock knock jokes.) :)

KNOCK KNOCK
By Christine Ritchotte


“Thank you so much for coming with me,” said Janine.

“Honey, you know I wouldn’t let you do this all by your lonesome!” Sylvia smiled.

BENSON 33 MILES, read the signpost.

Shit. The contents of her stomach swirled. She shouldn’t have had that double cheeseburger at the last stop. Or the chili fries. Wap! She thunked her head against the steering wheel in frustration. Her teeth were gritted and grinding, and her head felt as if it would pop off from a pressure headache that kept building with each passing minute.

“Sweetie, ya gotta stop stressing!”

Janine looked over at Sylvia. “I know, Syl, I’m just so worried about what they’ll say.” Then she corrected herself. “No, I’m more concerned with how they’ll act. They just won’t understand. I’m telling you, you don’t know these people. They’re insane, I tell you.”

“Janine, they’re your parents! Come on, you’ve told me how much they love you; are you telling me they’ll turn their backs on you for one little thing?”

She smirked wryly. “One little thing. That’s rich. You always know how to cheer a gal up.” She reached across and took hold of Sylvia’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Thanks.”

Sylvia smiled her sunshine smile, the one that made people on the street stop what they were doing and stare. Then her eyes went out the window again. “City limits. Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“Yeah. I’m doing it.” A surge of courage swept through her. She wanted to do this. They’d find out sooner or later and she figured it would be best coming from her.

The two didn’t speak until they pulled up the drive of the little blue-shingled house at the end of the cul-de-sac. It hadn’t changed a whit since she’d left three years ago, but she’d changed an awful lot. She turned to Sylvia, her heart in her throat. “Well, here goes. How do I look?”

“Hon, you look fabulous.” Syl reached over and honked her bulbous red nose. “Now you just get in there, look your mom and dad in the eye, and say, ‘Mom … Dad … I’ve quit college to become a clown. Live with it.”

Janine hurled herself at her friend, giving her as big a hug as her bulky outfit allowed. Then she straightened up, brushing leftover crumbs off her blue and white polka-dot pants and opened the door. She got out and proudly stepped up the walk, her foot-and-a-half long shoes squeaking with each stride.



Mary Thu Mar 15 19:52:46 PST 2001

OK....here is the deal. I don't want to limit anyone's creativity. I don't want to stifle anyone's thoughts. SO...please, if you write a shortie that exceeds 500 words (give or take...I am not gonna count) post it in the short story Workbook. Do not let this have any affect whatsoever on how long of a story you write....only let it affect where you post it. For an idea of how long that is, VIV's last post was right around 500 words. (They will still be read guys. Scouts honor.)

If anyone at all disagrees with this guideline, please speak up, as I am not a dictator. It is probably a good idea to have a guideline or two in relation to shorties because so many editors or publishers have strict guidelines, so you may as well get used to it. Not only that, but the Notebook is getting so big that Jack has had to archive in the middle of shorties twice now.....leaving some of them on the board and putting the rest in the closet. (Big hugs to Jack for taking such good care of us.)

Nods to TK for opening her mouth. Good call girlie, I probably wouldn't have ever said anything. Especially after I found out that even through a shortie night, my blather takes up 28% of this space. I am cutting down, I swear.

RACHEL: Thanks sweetie....hugs. (itty bitty kissy for Sebastian)


Debra Thu Mar 15 19:41:25 PST 2001

Mary:

Secrets is a tough one. I was going to write a cute story about a blind date gone wrong, but I got trapped with responsibilities of life and couldn't finish it.

I would like to share a secret that no one in my family knows. It's not hurting anyone but I started it and now I cannot go back and fix it. I don't think anything bad will happen if I don't. So that's the plan.

Here it is.

When I was seven months pregnant with my twins I went in for a routine ultrasound. It got quiet in the room and when it was over I was asked to go to the doctors office. I was with my husband and mother-in-law. Imagine? Well they told me that they found something wrong with one of the twins and ordered me an appointment for an ameio two days from then. It's a dangerous test with a needle in through the navel. Anyway, just before I was supposed to go, I told my family that I wasn't going because I knew they were wrong. They scheduled me for another ultrasound to confirm their findings and still found problems. I might add that they said the good news would be that the baby would die. The bad news was that she might live and never know me and be severly deformed and where diapers and never speak. They wanted the amio because if she were to start to be born to early they could just let her die inside of me instead of taking me into delivey. I had heard that people lose their babies in these procedures and it's more dangerous with twins. Also, I had heard that sometimes the findings are wrong. I didn't want the doctor to refuse to deliver my little twin and later find out she was fine.

My husband was begging me and so was my whole family to get the amieo. I kept telling them that I knew my baby was fine and I didn't want to jeopardize the health of both babies to find out something I would know when they were born any way.

Well they sent me and sent me to one doctor after the next and kept making the prognosis darker every visit. I had to fight my husband and family and doctors to keep them from doing this test, all the while proclaiming that I knew they were wrong. The only reason I didn't want it was because I knew I could lose both babies and I was already seven full months. I finally had to stand up at a doctors appointment yell it at the top of my lungs that my baby was fine and for everyone to leave me alone. I told my doctor that if she sent me to one more doctor who was suggesting an amio, I would just not come back and have the twins on my kitchen floor. Of course I told her I would blame her for anything that went wrong in the process. Well she finally heard me and so did my family, well not my whole family. I had some support, not that they thought the doctors were wrong, but that I should have a choice about intrusive procedures.

Here's the secret. I didn't know she was fine. I was scared to death. I went to bed every night with an acid stomach and trembled all day for two months. I was on the verge of tears every second of every day.


I tried to picture my life with a broken baby who would grow into a broken person and just keep going blank. It was kind of like writers block but blacker.

Well of course you know the rest they were born and both perfect. My family was so glad that I didn't chance it and congratulated me for knowing my baby was fine. I should have told them I was scared to death then, but I was so overwhelmed with my good fortune I just smiled. That was three years ago. Now when people bring it up I want to say "hey, I was just guessing. I got lucky. I really didn't know zip." Ijust keep smiling. Why shouldn't I? She is perfect.

So I tell myself this: I really didn't know, know, but maybe I knew something deeper than my actual thoughts. So
that is the logic I feed myself. So far, so good.

So you know my secret.

HAPPY!

Debra


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Thu Mar 15 19:31:31 PST 2001

Here is my secret shortie:





Pssssst.


Jerry Thu Mar 15 19:17:29 PST 2001

Teekay - No, I don't think I want to throw any stones, which reminds me of a joke -

Seems there was this king, who was very rich. He loved the sunshine, and to watch everything that was happening in his kingdom, so ordered his new castle to be built on the top of a hill out of glass. This way he could look out any direction from where he was and see what was happening anywhere in his kingdom. The castle was built, and the kings things were moved into the fabulous building. When it came time to place his throne, there was little room, so he ordered it taken to the very roof of the castle, where he could sit and watch, yet it would be safely out of the way. The workmen carried the very heavy throne, made of gold and jewels up to the roof and placed it in the very center, as the king ordered. When the throne was sat on the glass roof, it broke the glass, falling all the way to the basement, taking much of the castle with it.

Which only goes to prove people who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

I agree, we are getting a bit carried away with our shorty's they started as short-shorty's, but have grown to short-short stories, but I do love them all when they are posted. Does this hurt to post them the way they are? I don't know but I don't think there were ever any limitations placed on size. I guess one could be established should that be the desire of the notebook, I am open to suggestions too.

Jerry


Edgar Thu Mar 15 19:12:12 PST 2001

Hello all. One more try at this. Teekay do you approve? This is a fiction, it's short, and it's posted on Thursday.

Hope you like it.

SECRET --
"Don't worry, sir, you'll be examined by Maryland's most experienced polygrapher."
"Thank you. That's reassuring."

Reassuring. Amateur thing to say. Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Alright, what have I got that he's going to stumble on? What have I got that they aren't really looking for, but that I don't want out anyway?

No, don't think that way. Any little nastiness I remember now will be like a fresh grave to walk around when he begins the questions. Let the old dead stay firmly buried. Walk right over the graves, they do not exist, it's just turf out there. No graves.


Rachel Thu Mar 15 18:36:18 PST 2001

Mary - "Mary, Mary, you're on my mind" You ever hear that song? Every time I read your name I think of that song.

Good name!

Rach


Viv Thu Mar 15 17:55:06 PST 2001

Gee Allein:
I took your name. Sorry about that. I don't know what happened but it could have just been me typing the wrong thing in the wrong box. My brain gets going and I make mistakes. Sorry Teekay, that was my goof.

Teekay,
For you, because you are very experienced, shorties probably seem a rather silly exercise. I think this is because: a. You think of themes and ideas naturally;
b. You can write many different ways without too much difficulty. I am hoping you got this experienced by writing a lot, and that it isn't just something nebulous that is called talent because I hope someday I can feel "experienced".
I'm not too comfortable yet because I haven't practiced enough. I think the shorties are really helping me when it comes of working on writing. It gives me a defined set of limitations which helps me choose my setting and characters. This week I'll be late because I noticed I was getting into a rut style wise. I'm going to try something different with the characters and settings.
I often post on the S. story page because I'm late and long winded. I enjoy reading the stories as they appear in the notebook however and notice it does get everyone in to write on Thursday (my Wed.)
Those are the reasons I like it. How about others? If it's not popular, what other ways could we accomplish the same thing for the less experienced writers in the notebook?

Anyway, Teekay, keep writing because it's fun to see where I might get if I just keep really working on this!

Kitty, My husband is a chemist working for a government lab here in Japan. It's an Environmental lab which oversees American interests in Asia. He got to help move and set it up so it's been a neat learning experience for him. He is in the final phase of getting it certified. It's taken a long time because it's been kind of complicated. Also there was a terrible air pollution problem that we needed to work out with the Japanese because it was really endangering a Navel Base where there were mothers and young children. The Japanese court system works very slowly, and the Americans couldn't just move the base because there isn't enough land for it. It's a base where there is a lot of air traffic from the airplanes coming off the air carriers. So it needs a lot of space. That's almost resolved but there's a constant need for water monitoring and other health issues. He isn't involved in any political things, he just makes sure the water, air samples, soil samples or whatever get tested and sent out on a regular basis. We pretty much just go where there are jobs and live because this sort of lab is being shut down on a regular basis in America. It's pretty much contracted out to smaller labs that you can pay to get the answer that you can solve in the cheapest possible manner.


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Thu Mar 15 17:27:35 PST 2001

Hi guys! When I told my Mom about Thursday night Shortie night she asked me if it would be ok for her to throw something in occasionally. I told her yes, of course, so here it is: My mother's first shortie.



EARTHQUAKES DON’T WHISPER


Pathetic little wisps of breath in an ear aren’t
secrets. They’re gossip. Their only value is a
temporary respite from your own inadequacies. A
little ‘you look bad and I’ll look good’ kind of
thing.

Real secrets are festering wrongs that can never be
righted. They lay nearly dead inside you for years
and suddenly some little trigger will crack your
secret’s shroud and squeeze your soul with it’s shame.
You’ll relive your dishonor in agony, regretting
your weakness until you both come to a truce that
embeds your devils in the courage to go on with your
life, and to triumph over failure.

Great strength comes with fighting the battle of
conscience and evil within us. And myself, I prefer
people with secrets.


Mary Thu Mar 15 17:06:43 PST 2001

AMERICO: Are you talking about the bridge that collapsed? I haven't seen anything about that on the news, but read the article in the New York Times a few days ago. From what I understand, the bridge was in poor repair, and when it collapsed over 70 people were either killed or injured and washed away in the strong current of the river. There is an uproar from the citizens who blame the government agencies responsible for the care and upkeep of the bridge because they were aware of its poor condition and failed to do anything about it. At least one of the officials has already resigned. Is that the same tragedy you are talking about? How close is that bridge to where you are?

Back later for my shortie.


Heather Thu Mar 15 15:52:43 PST 2001

Rachel: I'm glad you and your family found a way to share a meaningful Christmas without feeling you had to bring home the whole mall to do so! I feel like that sometimes too, and then shake my head a bit and remember that it's the time we spend together that really counts! I wish I could tell my brother in law that, but no matter what I suggest or advise it will fall on deaf ears. All I can do is spend time with my neice and nephew when I'm there or they're here; and hope it makes a difference to them. It is very easy to load kids down with presents, but it's not as easy to take the time to just sit down and listen, play, laugh. Parents can so easily get caught up in the whirlwind of adulthood 'responsibilities' that our minds are elsewhere when we do spend time with the children.

Every so often I sit back and think about what I've done with my kids that week or that day, and weigh it against the other things I was up to. Did I spend at least an hour just sitting or reading with each of my kids every day? Did I listen to what they said? Did I encourage them, praise them, did I remind them at least ten times today that I love them?
This year at Christmas my husband and I gave our kids mostly things that we all use together, and didn't break the bank either: board games, toboggans, skates and helmets, etc. That way we spend a lot of time having fun using the items as a family!
I like what you and your family did for Christmas. We sponsor a little boy in Chile, and sent him a box of goodies this year; the kids made paintings and sent stickers that they picked out. It was a great experience and the kids really loved picking things out too.
You're a great mother. Congratulate yourself on that!

Back later for my shortie...

Heather


Ben Woestenburg Thu Mar 15 15:50:14 PST 2001

Teekay: What is too long? Give me a word limit. Is 200-300 too many? 500? I don't know how long mine was, because I didn't count them. But if you want it, fine.
ben


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Thu Mar 15 15:39:20 PST 2001

EVERYONE - My webpage has been updated - there are more pictures now. :)

Rachel - I'm glad Sebastian is doing good. I bet you've already taken tons of pictures and I can't wait to see them. I hope the present I sent comes to you soon. I'm sure he'll be creative - with his mother being so creative and from what I hear his brother and sister are too. But now all he has to do is lay there and look cute.
I do sometimes think about stuff like the smile thing you mentioned. Usually late at night when I'm laying in bed with nothing else to do.

*smiles*
Allein


Gariess Thu Mar 15 15:27:12 PST 2001

No shortie, but I worked for hours on the following. I am trying to write the canteloupe pun of the week, month, whatever.

I would that we could wed, my deer. My heart belongs to you.
But you can't elope with an antelope. So love me honey, do.

No mercy,

GS


Teekay Thu Mar 15 14:58:34 PST 2001

Hi everyone,

You know, you can probably all stone me if you want to, and I wouldn't mind awfully much, (mainly because I wouldn't feel it, well, not physically anyway,) bu-u-ut do you think we may be getting a leetle out of hand with the Thursday shorties?

I know there's a heck of a lot of talent here and I do enjoy reading the contributions, but I think one of the important things for a writer is discipline and I think by shortening the shorties we are working on saying what's important at the same time leaving sparkling little gems for the rest of us to enjoy.

Perhaps the longer works could be put in the S/S workshop.

I dunno, it may be just me, but that's the way I've been feeling about the shorties over the last couple of weeks. Not that there aren't some good ones.

I know I can always skip them, but I've never really been one to keep my mouth shut when something's on my mind. Well, that's it folks. :-)

MARY: Thankyou for the critique, as you know, it is VERY much appreciated.

HOWARD: I hate knock knock jokes too. :-)


Rachel Thu Mar 15 13:37:34 PST 2001

Hi all - Okay, below are my responses to all the lovely wishes and greetings that people left for Sebastian, my family and I.

Thank you all and I do apologize for taking so long to respond.

Hugs all around.

Rachel

Jon - Sebastian gladly accepts the job of President. I have no doubt that his time in office will be one of peace, productivity and prosperity for all. Thank you for the welcome story. I read it to Sebastian. He listened with a most knowing and wise look in his liitle eyes. Thank you from the both of us.

Americo - I have heard from you via private e-mail, but want to respond here. You have been such a true and loyal friend, through all the steps of my pregnancy. Thank you for being you (warm, wonderful hugs)!

Christi - Sebastian continues to thrive. He is an amazing little guy. He now smiles, I’m sure he smiles. I don’t believe for one moment that it is at this point gas. We got the first real smile at 9 days. That was also the day his cord fell of and that he rolled onto his side for the first time. He is amazing!

I’m not surprised that you would have picked up on something being wrong. You seem a very tender and caring person (hugs for you). Labour and delivery can be very alarming. It is also a great gift. It puts people back in touch with important things.

I love the gift you would give to Sebastian. Thank you. Yes, you may be his fairy god-mother!

A tight squeeze for you :0)

Rhoda - I didn’t really get much rest at all when I came home. My life stops for no one, not even me! There were visitors the night I came home. The next morning it was up and off to hockey. The next day it was soccer and hockey again. The next day more activities. We had visitors and visitors and more visitors till I thought I would fall over from exhaustion. I began to wonder why I had been so firm about wanting to come home. I was invited to stay in the hospital for several days. I just have an aversion to hospitals. I don’t spend any more time in them than I have to. Now I’m feeling quite rested. The visitors have dwindled off, my life is returning to normal. I have been writing again and walking. Soon I’ll be able to go back to all my fun activities!

I also don’t believe that children can be given too much affection. My family is very close and tight. We often lay together like a den full of puppies. Sebastian is being snuggled enough for ten babies! My children no longer insist on the timer being set for snuggle times to be fair and even, but there are the occasional tiffs about who has held him for longer than who and who got to feed him for a greater length of time. That sort of thing. Thank you for thinking Sebastian blessed to have me as a mother. That is a fine compliment.

Take care you.

Teekay - Thanks for the hugs. I kind of needed them. It was so hard to think that I had come so close to not having Sebastian at all. Now those feelings are melting away. I find that each day they are further and further away. That is where I want those thoughts and feelings, far, far away. Yup, saw them, dealt with them, now lets store em (grins). Hum, lets not forget the writing about them. I write about most things...

Yes, well loved is a better way to say it. Spoiled does carry nasty ideas with it. In my family being spoiled isn’t always bad. My children have a lot of grandmothers and grandfathers due to the way that my family is structured. One of the grandmothers is known as “Spoiling Grandma” Some people say that Sebastian will be spoiled, but I don’t think that they mean it in a bad way. I do say “Yes, he will.” I don’t give a crap what they think. I can be a very fierce mother (Bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!! wink). I think that people know enough about me when to back right away from a situation, because God knows I won’t. Not where my children are involved.

Heather - I think that your niece and nephew sound a bit like me. When I was a kid I got a lot of things. My mum gave us stuff to make up for the early childhood we had experienced. The thing of it was that we didn’t want stuff, we wanted her time. To this day I value the gift of time given than anything else. Sure, getting something is nice, but there isn’t anything better in my eyes than something that cost the person very little, other than their time. That is what I love. That is what I am teaching my children to value. They also did the “Is that it” trip a couple of years ago at Christmas. My husband and I were shocked. We just wanted to give them everything, then to see that everything was not enough, not even appreciated. We knew it was time to look at what we were doing. That was a time of great change in our lives. We gave our children the gift that they wanted most. We gave them back our time. We also cut back to bare bones the next Christmas and sponsored a family instead. My children thrilled to this. They loved going out to shop for the family. It was a great experience for them. Best of all was that there were no thank you cards from these people. That wasn’t what they wanted. I want them to know that giving something is always twice and nice if you do it only because you want to and not with any expectation of reward or praise.

It sounds to me like you really gave your nephew a wonderful gift.

Barnabas (Hop) - It is now two weeks since I gave birth and I’m feeling great. I want to get back into all my stuff. I want to go to karate, I want to run and hike. I’m just not quite allowed to yet. My doctor gave me a stern warning not to engage in any of these things. I am so impatient. It was easy for me to hold back on doing the things I loved for Sebastian, it isn’t quite so easy when its for my own sake. Hey, but I’ll listen (grins). At least I’ll half listen.

Eddie - Thank you (hug)!

Hallee - Yes, your prayers must have found their way to me. It’s funny, I’m not a believer, but I do value the prayers of other. I think that any selfless request to the fates, God, what ever you call it, will never be made in vain. Thank you. I had so many people praying to so many different things on my behalf. I really do believe that it made a difference.

Litter - Thank you again for the poem (hugs).

Garries - Thanks for the mercy (grins and laughter)! I also liked the elephant hugs. I gave a gentle elephant hug to Sebastian for you. Don’t worry, I have no plans to do this again! Dan and I picked up some information about how to make sure it doesn’t happen again (grins). The final line on one of the papers that we read was “Helping to make men unproductive members of society since 1991.” I laughed my ass off when I read that line. I guess I shouldn’t be so quick to say I’ll never do this again. I said that once before and look at what happened... Hum, I should stick to my never say never policy.
Hugs for yah!

Taylor - Thank you very much for your well wishes. I thought it was lovely, that a person who didn’t even really know me would wish me well. That was really something :)

Cassandra - Thanks for the congrats. Sebastian is a total hottie. All of my children are (big grins). I mean really, how could they not be (merry, cheeky, laughter). I will cherish this time with Sebastian. I know how quickly it passes. Even now he is growing and starting to interact with others. His world is growing before my very eyes. In no time at all it will be a wide world indeed.

I am happy to hear that you have found somebody special. It is always exciting, frightening, wonderful, thrilling and everything else to fall for somebody. Enjoy all of it, even the tought stuff. Uh, and between you and I, I like the weather station...

Hugs for you.

Mary - Thanks from Sebastian and I for the greetings.

Mark - Yup, he’s out,about and doing great. I was very happy to share my nws with all of you.

Tina - You know the old saying... No rest for the wicked?

I’m just kidding. Sebastian likes to sleep at night. When he wakes up all he wants is a clean bum and somethibg to eat. I’m very lucky : ) Thank you for the congrats.


Trudy - I’m also glad that the book of mt pregnancy will close on a happy note, a note of joy. Hugs from Sebastian and I.

Jerry - Yes all is well that ends well (big, wide, eye squinching smiles)! I am very happy and relieved. I’m relieved that I’m not so round any more!

Debra - Thank you for your congratulations. If my relief were bottled it would be pretty potent stuff (grins). One sip and your drunk on life.

Howard - Thanks for your congratulations (hugs).

Allein - Hey girl! I gave Sebastian a kiss for you. He burped in my face! What a charmer... You know I have been thinking of how pleased many men are when the burp or fart. You know it can often be quite the production. I have a lot of male friends. They often seem to take great pride in their natural gas efforts (grins). I believe this all must stem from being babies. Each time Sebasian burps or farts I praise him and tell him what a good little man he is. Hum, I kind of wonder what I’m encouraging here (grins and laughter). Another thing I thought about is when a baby has gas they smile. It is a painful thing, the smile isn’t really a smile at first, it is a grimmace. It makes me wonder why we connect joy and happiness with smiles, when in our most innocent and natural state a smile is only a reflection of pain... Do you ever wonder about stuff like that?

Yes! I did feel the earthquake. I was lying flat on my back being induced. At first I thought that my husband was bouncing his leg against the bed, then i thought my children were playing a game with me, then I knew it was an earthquake. I don’t think a hospital would be a good place to be if a major earthquake were to hit. I couldn’t believe how much that building moved!

I remember Rainbow Bright and Strawberry Shortcake. These were things that my baby sister was into. I used to sit with her and watch some of the shows she liked. She was 9 years younger than myself and always felt a little left out of things. We all made extra efforts to be a part of her life.

Jack - Thanks for that emoction. I love the big red smile!

Richard - Screaming and howling... Gezz, you were there (grins and winks)! Thanks for the congratulations.

Heather again - Thank you for your congratulations. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I’ve been getting things organized over here. Any complications for myself were well worth it. For Sebastian I wish they didn’t need to have happened, but all is well now. That is all that matters. Thank you for the welcome to Sebastian (hugs for you).

Cassandra again - I have no doubt in my mind that Sebastian will be a creative wonder. Each of my children seem to embrace creativity in all that they do. I see no reason why Sebastian would be any different. Hum, must be something in the water (grins). You should see this guy! He has such big blue eyes. That blows my mind. My husband and I both have dark hair and dark eyes. This is our second blue eyed child. It isn’t really that big of a shock. I’m the only dark eyed child of six.

Mary again - Thanks for the hugs you sent to my family and I. I send hugs back in return.

Viv - Hi you : ) It was so wonderful to get induced. I was ready and ready and ready times two, to deliver! The first days with a baby really are very precious aren’t they?

Sasquatch - I am so pleased to see that you are well and posting again. I very much enjoy your views on life and the world around you.

My little cub is doing very well. I don’t mind if you want to call him cub, right at this moment I think he might be part bear (grins). He can bawl and growl all at the same time (smiles). I just love his little self. Thank you for being near with your thoughts.
Hugs for you.




Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Thu Mar 15 13:03:34 PST 2001

Kitty - That was from Viv to me. And I live in Washington. :) But I wish I lived in California.

Great shorties so far!! Keep it up.
*smiles*
Allein


sasquatch Thu Mar 15 12:01:58 PST 2001

i sasquatch am having difficult to understand all the knocking going on here. all Yeti would not know this either because Yeti do not have doors. Yeti learn long ago not to look up and say who is there when we hear noise two times like knock knock. it is sometime klick klick as making long gun ready to fire and if we say who is there we perhaps never hear the answer. or anything ever again. but we do know why does elefant do things. and do not look up when goose flies over. ha ha. i must go.


Debra Thu Mar 15 10:50:58 PST 2001

Amrecio:

What happened. I didn't hear.

Debra


Americo agsousa@esoterica.pt Thu Mar 15 10:39:43 PST 2001

Jack,
Divers are the talk of the town here in the aftermath of a serious accident occurred in the river Douro some days ago. Apparently talent, courage and sophisticated equipment are useless against strong currents and/or opaque water. I wonder whether American TV has reported the tragedy.

Randall,
Welcome back. I had a good friend from Texas. I liked his straightforward, honest approach to things. When referring to Americans in general he always said "they". Never "we". As if Texas were not part of the USA. And whenever I complained to him about some mischief practiced by the Americans he would comment: "Yes, but you'd better shut up before they hear you..." Quite a nice chap in his own way.

Jerry,
To understand what a jewel the Mac is you must use specif software which does not exist for the PC. Hypercard, or even better Supercard, for instance, let you build virtually any application you may fancy just using English and your imagination. The best of the Mac, however, is that they are less prone to viruses than PCs and apparently crash less. But they do crash and can sometimes be a pain in the neck like any other machine. Recent models are supposed to be very fast, but they are expensive (at least here) and, perhaps, a PC user should stick to PCs, as he is used to them. Computers are after all just tools to do a task and can be a waste of time for writers if not used sparingly.

As for the shorties. Jon has already posted a couple of what he pompously calls "poems", but he hasn't written anything for tonight (aren't we lucky?).

Howard,
I enjoyed the knock-knock about "debbie or not debbie". The person who wrote that long series is very talented... Those knock things are difficult to understand for a foreigner.

Happy weekend.


Debra Thu Mar 15 10:36:05 PST 2001

http://www.dorrancepublishing.com/store/samples/nonfiction/selfhelp/SweetieSample.htm

Okay it needs an .htm on the back of it and I can't get it to appear.

Sorry.

Mary

Nix that slap on the back I just gave myself.


http://www.dorrancepublishing.com/store/samples/nonfiction/selfhelp/SweetieSampl Thu Mar 15 10:08:57 PST 2001


Debra dpalardy@home.com http://www.dorrancepublishing.com/store/samples/nonfiction/selfhelp/SweetieSampl Thu Mar 15 10:06:54 PST 2001

Kitty:

I have written three young adult books. The first one is out already. I went with a subsidary publisher and will never do that again. The first thing they did after taking my money is ruin my book. I was supposed to have photographs of sunflowers on the cover and got illustrations instead. I asked for an illustration of a boy and girl on the cover too and got what I wanted there. Thank goodness.





It was supposed to have 90 pages and only has 34. It is supposed to be short but I wanted only a mathamatician to be able to figure out how many pages it might be. I have one hundred lines that girls will hear when they are being pressured by boys to say yes to sex. I wanted them two per page and the illustration of the boy and girl on the cover of the book to be in the middle of each of two lines. They shoud have been on fifty pages and are only on seven pages. The rest of the book tells girls that they are polite by nature and boys use this nature to get them to agree to sex.

The above link is the first page of my first book that is out. All three books have the same conversational tone in them.



I wrote two more books that go with it. The second one is to be given to the same girls who received the first one. It dicests the abusive relationship from start to finish. It is supposed to help these girls get out of one if they find themselves in one and also to help girls recognize one on the onset. That way they will not get stuck in one.

The third one is to be given to the same girls when they turn eighteen. It is all the stuff they need to know but I couldn't tell them until now. It had to be seperated into three books. The reason is because if you don't give the girls the first book when they turn tweleve or a little older then it might be too late.

The second one is not appropriate until they turn at least sixteen. Like I mentioned, if you wait until they are sixteen to give them the first book it could be too late. So they should be sold as one package with three books in it. The parents should give them out at 12, and 16, and then 18. That is what I see in my heart. I of course need a published to see it too or at least an agent.


Each book is longer than the last. The second one is a lot longer than the first and the third is normal book length.

I have heard from someone at Scholastic that they loved my books, but I needed representation. So that's where I am.

I have a novel almost finished, but it is fiction. The young adult books are nonfiction.

I have three children's books finsihed too. I also have eight more plots to start on as soon as I am ready.

I just need an agent. I know my books will sell. I can feel it. The first book will be reformatted to have ninty pages with another publisher if I don't get an agent. This will happen next year.

I only live in a four room house with six people and two dogs. I am really motivated to make this happen for them. My husband God bless his soul is doing all he can. He is doing a great job. We need a bigger house for starters. I feel that this could result in the money to make that happen for us. My twin girls who are two sleep in my bedroom. They need their own room fast. The lock on our bedroom door isn't helping my husband and me at the moment.



So in short, Kitty, I need agent fast.


Mary:

Did you notice I learned to add websites. I can thank you for that.


Debra


Kitty edwyer@spherenet.com Thu Mar 15 09:36:14 PST 2001

No shortie from me. I'm new to the concept and would like to observe for the time being. I don't know what the protocol is on commenting, so will refrain till I can participate.

Ben: I am having some difficulties with my e-mail, If edwywer@spherenet.com doesn't work, try edwyer@spherenet (no .com). Ted, my in house computer whiz, is on the job and hopefully this will be resolved ASAP.

Debra: Rosemary pretty much answered your question regarding agents which you directed to a rather perplexed me. I don't have an agent. Most of the writers I know who have agents got them after a publishing house showed interest in their manuscript not before. So my suggestion to you is to make a list of the publishing houses you think might be interested in your manuscript and start sending it out. It will take time to hear back from the publisher because your manuscript will probably land in a slush pile with hundreds of other. Don't despair! Pretty much everything in the slush pile gets a cursory glance. Why? Because publishers are looking for the next J.K. Rowling, Nora Roberts, etc… Now I said cursory glance deliberately because there are some things that will stop an editor cold like poor grammar and lots of typos or sloppy presentation. These are all fixable before the manuscript goes out. You want the editor to be sucked into the story and, if you should be so fortunate to receive something more than a form letter, you want them to be commenting on the substance of the text rather than your creative use of spelling. Be greatly heartened if you receive anything that looks more than a photocopied form letter. (I once received a rejection slip-it didn't even qualify as a letter, that was about 1/8th the size of a standard piece of paper. Humbling, but justified. The story was dreadful and the presentation horrendous, but it was my first attempt.) This means that you have risen above the average and you most likely now have someone specific to direct your next attempt too (the signer of the letter). Editors have surprisingly good memories for writers. The key to success is perseverance.

Now if you are determined to have an agent, yet no one will take your calls, go to a writer's conference. Often participants can make appointments to meet with editors or agents who are actually sent out by their respective companies to troll for new talent-as well as touching base with clients. Sometimes these meetings are in groups, sometimes one on one. There are conferences that cater to practically every genre. Jack would know about sci-fi. I can recommend Malice Domestic and Bouchercon for mysteries, though neither is a hardcore writers conference. RWA has a huge national conference every year. There are a slew of more literary festivals and conferences across North America-check out Writer's Digest. Not only will you have a chance to ask editor/agents question directly, but you will meet other writers and aspiring writers. It can be a very invigorating atmosphere. As well, there is a whole world of writing grants and writing retreats that I've never looked into, but I imagine is full of networking possibilities.

So to wrap up, birth that baby, slap a diaper on it and send it out into the world. Once the door has slammed on its tushy, wipe the tear from your eye, take a deep breath or two and start gestating a sibling.

I'm curious to know what kind of book and where do you want to send it? And why did you think you needed an agent?

Viv: Is it a corporate transfer that finds you in Japan or are you there more or less permanently?

Allein or Viv: was that message with "Allein" in the name spot in the header from Allein with the first paragraph directed to herself or was it from Viv with the first paragraph directed at Allein? I thought Allein lived in California? I'm a bit confused.

Jack: I'll have to check out Britomart's site. Ted is off to Europe at the end of the month and will be spending the weekend in London. Since I don't get to go, boo hoo, he has promised to pick up anything I put on my little list--as long as the books are not too big nor too heavy. Ah, he knows me well. But B's books are out in paperback now, right--small, compact and light. Now,I just have to figure out how many of those chocolate orange Polar Bear cookie/wafer things from Sainsbury's he can wedge into the odd nook and cranny.

Jackson's off on spring break and I have promised to take him to his favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch. Ta for now.

Kitty


Thu Mar 15 08:23:58 PST 2001

TO: MARY
FROM: HALLEE

BIG GIANT WARM HUGS stop maybe a shortie later if I can figure out what to write stop


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Thu Mar 15 07:05:45 PST 2001

TO: NOTEBOOKERS
FROM: MARY

good morning everyone stop glad to see shorties popping up already stop good thing jack archived so i dont have to feel guilty about posting my morning rabble stop i dont think i like nok nok jokes anymore either stop more later stop


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Thu Mar 15 06:39:22 PST 2001

I hate knock knock jokes.


Ben Woestenburg Thu Mar 15 02:37:05 PST 2001

Okay, It's Thursday morning, so I'm gonna write a shortie. As usual, I'll just write it straight into the box. Please forgive me for any typos and what-not. But this is the best part of the whole thing. I try to come up with an idea at work, mull it over in my head a bit, and then let it come out, oozing, or gushing, and re-read it once or twice for a quick edit. It's the challenge I like. I also get ideas from them, sometimes expanding them and making them into stories of their own. I did that with the one where the grandfather walks the kid down the fence. So, here goes.

Untitled--so far...

He came home from work later than usual; a train at the crossraods had held up traffic for fifteen minutes. It was a pain in the ass when that happened at two in the morning, but he always had a book close at hand, so he simply turned on the interior dome light and sat back, lighting a smoke. When he finally made it home--taking his workboots off at the door and shaking the grain out of the creases--he noticed the strange glow of candles coming out of the front room. The music was on low, and he thought maybe, just maybe, she was sitting up waiting for him. She hadn't done that in years. Knowing her though, he told himself she was probably sound asleep.

He went downstairs quietly, taking his workclothes off and dumping them in a heap on the laundry room floor. He put his wallet and loose change, the scrap bits of paper--bills and receipts he'd collected through the work week--on the shelf above the washer. He found his bathrobe hanging on the nail just where he'd left it before going off to work that afternoon. He didn't bother tying it up.

As he came up the stairs, he thought about stopping off in the kitchen to get a quick bite to eat, but changed his mind when he heard her voice, soft and distant, as if his coming home had awakened her.

"That you, Hon?"

"You know it is," he said, walking into the front room. There were three candles burning on the coffee table, an open bottle of gin, and two martini glasses set side by side. One of them was still half full.

"Company?"

"My sister. She came by to wish me a happy birthday."

"Did you like the flowers I bought you?"

"Loved them. I especially liked how you tied them around the bottle of gin," she said, effecting a smile.

"Couldn't wait to get into it, eh?" he grinned.

She looked up at him sadly, and he saw her eyes for the first time, noticing a single tear spilling down her cheek. He dropped to his knees beside her, taking her hand in his and asking her what was wrong. He hated seeing her like this. She was a sensitive woman, crying whenever she saw a dead cat on the side of the road, or if she heard about a friend of a friend dying--someone she'd never even met before. She'd always been like that, and he hoped she always would be. Her emotions were what made him realize what he had been missing for most of his life.

"I was talking to Jill about Richie."

"Richie? What's he been up to?" Richie was her older brother.

"He's into coke again."

"What? Why? When is he going to grow up?"

"He doesn't have a job anymore, either."

"Then how does he afford the coke?"

"He's got friends. His baseball buddies...they all do it. I guess they'll give it to him until they get sick of him always wanting some. You know how he can get."

"Addictive you mean?" he laughed.

"Yeah," she said, trying to smile.

"What? What else did she say?"

"She told Jimmy about what he did..." She let the words hang in the air, wanting him to say it for her because they hurt too much for her to say them herself.

"Why would she do something like that?"

"She said he was old enough. He's nineteen now."

"Didn't she think maybe you should have been the one to tell him if anyone was gonna tell him? I mean, it was you he molested, not Jill. Hell, I didn't even think she believed you. Didn't you say she didn't believe you when you told her about it the first time?"

She half shrugged, trying to smile. "I guess she thought about it."

"Thought about it? She obviously wasn't thinking about it when she told Jimmy. Doesn't she know Jimmy hangs out with Dave and Peter? How long do you think he's gonna keep something like that from them? They already hate their dad--and now with his being into coke again. Jesus, she just doesn't think things through, does she?"

"She's my sister, Bobby. I can't hate her for saying something about it; I'm the one who told her about it in the first place."

"Yeah. Right. So now when Jimmy comes over to visit, what's he gonna think when he looks at his favorite auntie? You know what's obviously gonna be running through his mind? Incest isn't something that goes away, you know?"

"I know."

"Well, come on then. Let me take you upstairs."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna take your clothes off, lay you in the bed, and hold you in my arms until you fall asleep."

"Okay."

Well, I think that'll do. Short, sweet, and to the point in a round-about-kinda-sorta way.

Ben--(if there's anything wrong, blame the editor, he's a lazy bastard sometimes. I don't pay him enough.)


Jack Beslanwitch jack@webwitch.com Thu Mar 15 01:25:53 PST 2001

Welcome to all the new faces and just noticed Americo made an appearance. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome, indeed. Glad to see that you are keeping posted about Fran and my adventures in diving. After a somewhat disastrous last go around where Fran had trouble with wheezing and I had trouble with clearing my mask, we have decided to take things a bit slower and see if we cannot dive and also get into somewhat better shape. I hope to have some pictures and/or video to share with everybody in the near future so keep posted.


I have also archived everything up to the posts for today, i.e., the 14th. Oh, and thanks for the suggestion about trying to get to the books via Canada. I will check it out, but I am still looking forward to reading Kim's new book and am especially intrigued by the one that she outlines on her web site. Take care.


Allein Wed Mar 14 23:01:18 PST 2001

Allein: Thanks, I need to hear that occasionally. I get a little disgusted with jerks in general, but here in Japan it's no worse or better than other places. I think in general people are pretty nice here, but there is a definite culture difference.. Some things that I fail to do probably rile a few folks. Gaijin isn't really a bad term, it's just a general catch all for foreigners. Basically I use it myself. I'll see an interesting looking Gaijin type on the train and I usually will say, "Hey Gaijin! What's up?" It's pretty funny when you get a Russian. We will both be trying to speak Japanese and understand each other. Sometimes we end up doing a lot of Mime work!

Debra: Yup! The Japanese teens can be pretty outrageous.As in all societies you can get real bottom of the barrel activity. They've had some crime that in a gun free society can stand your hair on end. Rape is rather common, and yes, kids sometimes bully other kids to death.

That's the absolute worst. Most kids are creative and intelligent so you get the usual stuff. Right now, Richard, sex ed is a big topic. The young juku teacher is getting married. This is leading to a lot of impolite behavior. Sexual jokes are really big among the girls...especially since the teacher is getting married. (One girl went so far as to tell the teacher to put pin holes in condoms). They are having sex ed. in school too, Richard. It's really gone from normal to completely raunchy lately. I do know my daughter isn't perfect either.

One boy is refusing to take Karate, he wants Judo because his grandfather does not teach Judo. Everyone is into dying hair and thinks my daughter is lucky because she can use magic marker to color her hair. They also think she's really lucky because she is allowed to have blue fingernail polish and pierced ears. They know that she's allowed those because of a culture difference. It's considered cheap among the Japanese to do that before college.

I figure if I let out the stoppers slowly, I won't get over-reaction when she is off on her own. I allow pretty much anything except glue on her legs to hold up those ugly baggy socks. I've told her to skip the socks. Same goes for platform shoes. She's tall enough. The Japanese girls get those, so they learn that culture goes two ways. (And I've seen nail polish and remover going to juku in the front pocket of her backpack and one day I drove up and found her wearing NO SOCKS and NO SHOES with a guilty look on her face. She had her socks and shoes in her hand and was hopping around trying to put them on her feet. So I know she was wearing someone elses shoes and socks after class.)

The rule of thumb here is the younger the child the more rebellion is permitted. By high school the kids are pretty well tamed, but then they have a tremendous bust out in college. These are the 4 years you get to actually be playful in Japanese society. Once you turn 21 here you can legally do what you like. You can smoke, drink, put holes in your ears, (and although it's not allowed, spray paint walls with graffitti.) What really makes me proud is there's a place in Enoshima where one of my class members spray painted, "Take it easy!" That's my little catch phrase. I'll have to come up with a new one and see if it shows up in the grafetti.

What I've noticed is although these kids are rebelling, it's not usually harmful to themselves. Beyond smoking which EVERYONE does in excess, and sometimes overdrinking, the kids are pretty nice. They dress like thugs but often the worst looking kid will be nice. They generally have a nice sense of humor and you can work with that. Napster is a really popular rebellion too!

There is a small problem with anorexia among the girls. This is a society of overachievers. The anorexic ones have really tough mothers.

Mark this is just a response to comments. Will post fiction later. I think this time you're going to be able to tell the "real thing". I made it profoundly different.


Teekay Wed Mar 14 22:57:11 PST 2001

Hiyall,

HOWARD: A 'good' knock knock joke. Now that's not like you. You sick or something? :-) But yes, I'd love to hear it.

CHRISTI: Thankyou very much. Frankly I've been telling people that for years, but, I dunno, some people just don't listen. :-D
okay, anybody, before you start in about 'blowing one's own trumpet' I'm kidding okay. Just kidding. truth be told I think I'm a piece of low down dirty scum, but that's okay. My therapy starts next week.

CHRISTI: Impatient cow w---Mooooooo HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH GASP HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.
I spoke it out loud to myself, but I found it funnier in the written word. I don't think my timing was quite right when I came in with the Moooooooooo part.

TAYLOR: Poor you. I usually feel blissed out after a day at the words.

CHRISTI: Hopi I can help you HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA GASP HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.
See how it pays to say nice things about me?

Knock knock
who's there?
A psychotic killer
a pschotic killer who?
A psychotic killer of knock knock joke tellers

It's much funnier when the pschotic killer lets rip and kills the knock knock tellers, but you guys are going to have to imagine it.

RHODA: I know. Real scary thing this hoof and mouth. May it all pass over real soon.

DEBRA: *kiss* *kiss* ((((((HUG))))))))) (((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))Thankyou soooooo much!!!! Will be watching th emailbox for it. :-)

MARY: WOW! Anybody would think you had nothing better to do. Like 'ahem' critique my story?? Pleeeeaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee.

HOWARD: Second thoughts. let's skip that joke.

Going.


Jerry Wed Mar 14 22:33:07 PST 2001

Well since I posted my first shorty too early, here is another:

John Ark punched the time clock and left the hospital for another day, his job as an orderly was beginning to get him down. He had no idea that he would be forced to take such a job when the detective told him that he could be placed in the witness protection program. Not that he had done anything wrong, oh no, just the opposite, he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

John remembered that day, it seemed so long ago, almost like a dream, he could think about it but never discuss it with anyone, least he be found and killed.

His real name was Mark Simpson, he was a Stock Broker, and a very good Broker at that, he was personally responsible for his investment corporation becoming the best know corporation in all New York. Then came the day when he was out walking his dog Rollo, Rollo had just done his deed and Mark bent down to scoop up the product of the walk and place it in the bag, as required by City Law, when it happened, a long black limo stopped just up the street and three men in suits jumped out from the back, they ran up the street and began to fire their guns, a young man and his wife were the target, and within seconds, they were both dead. When Mark saw this happen, he was still bent down, so he simply lay down on the sidewalk, behind a mail box until the hoods returned to their car and drove off. Mark had presence of mind to look at the license plate on the Limo, and jotted the number down on his brown paper bag.

The next month was a haze of hotel rooms, courtrooms and offices, attorneys, cops and the FBI agents. Then it was over, Ernesto Rico and his crime machine were behind bars, and the head of the largest crime family in the City was locked up. Mark’s name was on the lips of each and every family member who remained free, and the contracts on his life were written and signed in blood. His corps was worth over three million dollars in the City.

There were days when John would gladly face the music in the City, but they were few and far between. He could live with his job, and he was making a few friends. Nebraska weather was not as bad as he thought it might be when they told him he was to move there. He missed his little dog, but he was very glad indeed that his x-wife thought he was dead, it was better that way, the fact that they never had children was a blessing.

Then came the day he dreaded the most. It began the same as they all did since he moved; he rose from bed, fixed himself a bowl of cereal, and a cup of instant coffee, then off to work at the hospital. He was working the ER, his favorite assignment, there was actually a bit of excitement from time to time, nothing like they have in the city, but a few heart attacks even a gun shot wound during hunting season, what with all the crazy’s who came down from the city to hunt. But this day would be different.

The ambulance siren screamed as it turned up the drive to the ER. John hurried out to the back door of the ambulance with a gurney to bring in the patient. He knew it was a tourist who had been struck by a car crossing the street up at the museum, that much came over the radio as the ambulance approached. What they never told him was that the tourist was from New York City. What they didn’t know was that the patient was Joco Rico.

John pushed the cart back into the ER, Doctor Smyth ran along side, checking the injuries, as the ambulance crew called off the vital stats. John only looked at the patients face after he was in the exam room. When he saw it, he went white. The nurse who was standing beside him took his arm and escorted him out of the room.

“The blood gets to all of us once in awhile John, you just sit down and take a few breaths before you come back in OK?” She said, as she led him out to the chairs.

“Ah – ok – sure.” John replied. He needed time to think, he needed to call the agency. He needed to leave quickly. Joco had seen his face, he could tell when he looked down into his eyes, he saw the recognition, the faint smile that crossed his lips.

John pulled his cell phone from his scrub pocket and dialed.

“Agency 198, how may I direct your call?” the voice on the other end said.

“Bill Collier please and hurry!”

A few seconds later, he heard the click on the phone, then a voice, “Bill here, how may I help you sir?”

“This is Mark Simpson, I have been found by the Rico family, I need help!”

“Are your sure Mr. Simpson?”

“Hell yes I am sure, Joco Rico was just brought into the hospital, I could see he recognized me!”

“Ok, Mr. Simpson, you say he is in the hospital, any chance he won’t make it out?”

“I haven’t thought of that, no, I don’t think he was injured that badly.”

“Well look Mark, there have been some terrific budget cutbacks, we can’t really afford to move you, is there anything you can do to, oh, say make sure that Joco doesn’t make it?”

“You want me to kill him? Are you Fucking crazy?”

“Now Mr. Simpson, I would never suggest that you break the law, and there is no need for that kind of talk.”

“Look you have to get me out of here right away!”

“Can I get back to you Mr. Simpson, I have to talk with my supervisor, look why don’t you give me your number, and I will call you back in the morning, ok?”

“The morning! Good God man, haven’t you heard a word I told you? I may not be alive in the morning if you don’t get me out of here now!”

“You have to understand Mr. Simpson, there are channels we have to go through, we simply are not set up to move you at the drop of a hat.”

“Well what do you suggest, how can I stay alive until the morning when you call back?”

“Why don’t you just go home now, I doubt if Joco will get out of the hospital today, he won’t will he?”

“Maybe not, but what about his wife, and anyone else who happens to be with him?”

“Don’t let your imagination get the best of you, for all we know he may be traveling alone.”

“Well Ok.” John said, whipping the sweat from his brow.

He returned to the exam room, where Dr. Smyth was just finishing stitching Joco up.

“How’s he doing Doc.?”

“Oh he should live, there was some internal injuries but I don’t think they are all that bad. I gave him a shot of morphine so he will probably sleep for a few hours, blood get the best of you John?”

“Oh no, for a second there, I thought I knew this guy, but I was mistaken. Sorry about that Doc, I know you don’t like it when your staff has to leave during an exam.”

“Don’t worry John, you are still new at this, soon it won’t bother you a bit. Why don’t you roll Mr. Rico here up to his room, admitting said they gave him room 403.”

“Ok, thanks Doc.” John said, as he pushed the bed out of the exam room and headed for the elevator. He needed to come up with a plan, it was certain that the witness protection office was not going to be much help. He looked over the setup, there were two bags hung from the frame of the bed he was pushing, one of saline, the other with some yellow product he was not familiar with. Attached to the foot of the bed was a hanger with a unit of whole blood, which was being fed into Joco’s leg vein.

He pushed the bed into the elevator designed for just that purpose. He was sharing it with Bob, the janitor. Bob had his cart in the elevator too, and John was right next to it. Then John saw it, there was his salvation, a can of liquid ant poison was on the cart. He watched until Bob was looking the other way and stole the can, it was easy, just a flick of the hand and the can was in the pocket of his scrubs.

When the elevator reached the 4th floor, John pushed the bed up the hallway and into room 403, he closed the door behind himself, then quickly using the syringe he had in his pocket from the ER, he filled it with the clear contents of the ant poison, and then injected the poison into the saline IV. The can he placed back into his pocket to dispose of later.

As he left the room, he could hear Joco begin to jerk around on the bed, quickly he walked to the elevator. Bob was just going back into the elevator, and held the door for him.

As they started back down to the main floor, John heard the code blue room 403 over the intercom. He smiled, as he carefully placed the can back on Bob’s cart.

As he stepped off the elevator, he met Roberto Rico, who was on his way up to see his brother. John looked for any sign of recognition, but there was none. His shift over, John punched out and headed home. Sometimes a man will do anything to keep a secret.


Cassandra arcane128@hotmail.com Wed Mar 14 21:54:28 PST 2001

Jerry- The norse god you were looking for is Odin. I believe he was the weatherman of the group.

Here goes the shortie... I guess the youngins are the first of the pack to post on Thursday! Go Allein

Salvageable

“Don’t you think love should be more than that? Shouldn’t love be passionate, exciting and invigorating?” He asked the question simply enough through the pale cream receiver cuddled between his cheek and shoulder. She seemed silent for a moment as if seriously thinking or just now comprehending what he had said.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t any of those things. I don’t know…” She sighed minutely for fear that he’d hear and think that she’d rather not be talking to him. Getting up from her sprawled out position on her fold out couch, she let a small groan slip out from the depth of her strained back.
“What’s wrong?” Responsive as always, their problem hadn’t stemmed from any lack of care.
“Just stress. The black belt test is on Friday, and I feel completely unprepared.” Her back popped like a half kernel in the bottom of the popcorn bag. Arching her back wide over the chair usually did the trick.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine Charise.” The slim sizzle of his fry pan could be heard over the phone for a moment as he dipped down to taste the bubbling cream sauce simmering next to the chicken. “How about a nice home cooked meal to relax you afterward?” It didn’t quite have the punch he wanted, so he shook some more pepper into the mix.
“Sorry, my boyfriend’s got dibs on the supportive role, Bill.” Charise sat down at her desk, about to growl. Charise and Bill Morris, for some reason, at some point it sounded right to her. A year previous the two spent Christmas with his family, everyone smiling and laying compliments on her like blankets in winter. His family made her welcome and warm, and nothing but fond memories surfaced of them. They had been a cute couple.
“Hey, I offered first. If he snoozes, he looses.” Setting his spoon down he placed the pan off the heat for a moment. The pasta needed draining, a wonderful thing to set his mind away from being shot down. Seemed that happened a little too much, getting handed his walking papers. Nice guys always took the brunt of life's pain. His wounds were still fresh from his latest, and worst, heartbreak.
“He offered the moment I knew the date and time.” She absentmindedly started a game of computer solitaire. She didn’t want to be having this conversation. He made this whole thing seem like some sick competition between the two of them.
“I’ve known you longer though…” Tossing the long angel hair pasta a little to force the water out of it, his misery crossed his mind again. He missed her, he missed women period. Part of him wondered if he only reached for her because of his desperation. Once she told him that out of all her ex-boyfriends, he shared the distinct honor of being the only one she’d consider taking back. Something intensly special happened between the two of them. Some unspoken bond kept things perfect when she had graced his life.
“Not counting when we didn’t talk,” A bit of biting annoyance crept into her normally static voice, “and just to be nice I’m not going to mention who broke up with who…”
“Do you mind if I tell you something personal.”
She knew better than to answer yes, but curiosity came screeching out of its cage. Why not mess up things to make life interesting for a moment? “Go right ahead.” She puttered, placing a spade over a heart.
He took a deep breath, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I’ve been kicking myself recently for what I did to you. You never deserved it, you were nothing but nice to me and I didn’t even give you a reason at the time.”
For a moment, Charise’s eyes watered. She couldn’t help thinking of aiding in the baking before Christmas weekend and the small perfect diamond in the necklace that he had given her. Life seemed simple at that time, and he doted opon her, to a point. They shared so much in common and nostalgia grasped gently at her as a baby reaches for its mother without strength to hurt. “Thank you… I never thought you cared.”
“I… I have to go, my dinner is getting cold. Talk to you later, bye.” He hung up the phone without notice to her small insistence on waiting. Avoidance always was his specialty.
A moment passed between her relinquishing her receiver to its home and its ringing again. Lifting it a hope crossed her mind and she issued a rare prayer to a god in which she didn’t always believe. Tom’s calm voice echoed in the electronic pattern. “Hey you.”
“Thank god, I thought you were someone else.” The lullaby calm of her boyfriend's barritone voice relaxed her aching muscles.
“Who?”
“Bill.”
“The pedifile?”
“Yeah” she sighed. She didn’t want to believe it either.
“I still can’t believe a twenty-four year-old could date a fifteen year-old and still not see anything wrong with it… let alone dump you for her.”
“Yeah.” She thought that redemption was like a mountain bluff, scalable, but a secret could sit tan and sprawling like lions flanking each foothold.
“Why do you even talk to him anymore?”
“I don’t know, I guess I just wish he was salvageable.”


Night all

Cassandra


Wed Mar 14 21:34:21 PST 2001

WARNING BELOW IS A DRIVE BY KNOCK KNOCK JOKE _ IT BEGINS WITH A SEMI_AUTOMATIC THEN GOES FULL AUTO


Wed Mar 14 21:25:59 PST 2001

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Debbie !
Debbie who ?
Debbie or not to be !

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary !
Mary who ?
Mary in haste, repent at leisure !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary !
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tad !
Tad who ?
Tad's all folks !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tad !
Tad who ?
Tad old black magic !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Taipei !
Taipei who ?
Taipei sixty words a minute is pretty fast !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Talbot !
Talbot who ?
Talbot too thin !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tamara !
Tamara who ?
Tamara is Tuesday, today is Monday !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tamara !
Tamara who ?
Tamara the world !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tammy !
Tammy who ?
Tammycles' sword !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tamsin !
Tamsin who ?
Tamsin time again I came to the wrong house !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tank !
Tank who ?
My pleasure !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tank !
Tank who ?
Your welcome !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tango !
Tango who ?
Tango faster than this if you want !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tania !
Tania who ?
Tania self round, you'll see !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tara !
Tara who ?
Tara-ra boom-de-ay!
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tarzan !
Tarzan who ?
Tarzan stripes forever !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tariq !
Tariq who ?
Tariq of perfume will put anyone off !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tauber !
Tauber who ?
Tauber inferno !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Teacher !
Teacher who ?
Teacher to go knocking on my door in the middle of the night !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Teachers !
Teachers who ?
Teachers for the red white and blue. Hip hip.. !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Teddy !
Teddy who ?
Teddy is the beginning of the rest of your life !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Teheran !
Teheran who ?
Teheran up the road !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Telly !
Telly who ?
Telly your friend to come out !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Ten !
Ten who ?
Ten to your own business !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tennessee !
Tennessee who ?
Tennessee you tonight !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tennessee !
Tennessee who ?
Tennessee is played at Wimbledon !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tennis !
Tennis who ?
Tennis five plus five !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Teresa !
Teresa who ?
Teresa green !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Termite !
Termite who ?
Termite's the night !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Terry !
Terry who ?
Terry's nothing like a dame !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tex !
Tex who ?
Texedo Junction !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tex !
Tex who ?
Tex two to tango !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Texas !
Texas who ?
Texas are getting higher every year !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thad !
Thad who ?
Thad's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thaddeus !
Thaddeus who ?
To be or not to be, thaddeus the question !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thais !
Thais who ?
Thais an interesting cuisine !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thatcher !
Thatcher who ?
Thatcher could get away with it !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thayer !
Thayer who ?
Thayer thorry and I won't throw thisth pie in your face !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thayer !
Thayer who ?
Thayer sorry and I won't tell teacher !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thea !
Thea who ?
Thea later, alligator !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thelma !
Thelma who ?
Thelma your soul !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thelonius !
Thelonius who ?
Thelonius kid in town !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Theodore !
Thedore who ?
Theodore wasn't open so I knocked-knocked !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Theodore !
Thedore who ?
Theodore is shut, please open it !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Theresa!
Theresa who ?
Theresa fly in my soup !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Therese !
Therese who ?
Therese many a slip twixt the cup and the lip !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thermos !
Thermos who ?
Thermos be a better knock knock joke than this !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thermos !
Thermos who ?
Thermos be a better way !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Theron !
Theron who ?
Therinheit or Centigrade, I always get mixed up !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thighs !
Thighs who ?
Thighs the limit !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thistle !
Thistle who ?
Thistle be the last time I knock on this door !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thomas !
Thomas who ?
Thomas happy fella !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Three !
Three who ?
Three surgeon !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Throat !
Throat who ?
Throat to me !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Throne !
Throne who ?
Throne out the baby with the bathwater !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thrush !
Thrush who ?
Thrushow must go on !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thumb !
Thumb who ?
Thumb like it hot and thumb like it cold !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thumpin !
Thumping who ?
Thumping green and slimy is climbing up your back !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Thurston !
Thurston who ?
Thurston and hungerin' !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tibet !
Tibet who ?
Early Tibet and early to rise !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tic tac !
Tic tac who ?
Tic tac paddy whack, give the dog a bone !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tick !
Tick who ?
Tick em up and give me all your money !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tiffany !
Tiffany who ?
Tiffany rubbish out the bin will you !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tillie !
Tillie who ?
Tillie comes I'm going to wait here !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tillie Bell !
Tillie who ?
Tillie end of time !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tilly !
Tilly who ?
Tilly-vision is my favourite invention !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tim !
Tim who ?
Tim after time !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tim !
Tim who ?
Tim you got scared !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tina !
Tina who ?
Tina salmon !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tinker Bell !
Tinker Bell who ?
Tinker Bell is out of order


Jerry Wed Mar 14 21:03:49 PST 2001

Damn! I had a whole bunch to say but it slipped my mind! I hate it when it does that.

Snowing here, we have had over 3 inches tonight - Friday I have to drive the wife down to Rapid City, the news just said that Rapid City has received over 12 inches of the white crap and expecting another 12 by morning. Why does the weather always have to be against me when I have to travel?

Which of the old Norse gods controlled the weather, anyone know? Maybe if I sacrificed a horse to that god, he/she will stop punishing me for whatever I have done in a past life to piss him/her off.

Life is wonderful, you know. All this talk of the stock market going down and guess what? I don't have enough money to invest in any stocks, so I am unhurt by the crash. The wife however does have a couple thousand in mutual funds, and has lost a bit, but not enough to be mad about.

Told the wife I was going to call the park service and reserve a camp-site for opening weekend, I do this after catching hell for the past three years for not doing it in time, so I figure lets get it started early. Know what? She says "No don't get a reservation, it falls on your birthday and your sister is coming down to celebrate."

Just can't win.

I am learning about Mac's now, kind of fun for awhile but they do become boring after a week or two, they simply don't crash and give the blue screen of death we PC owners love to hate. I have tried very hard and did manage to crash the Mac, know how? I tried to interrupt it's file transfer to my PC over the network. Now I am not all that sure weather it was the Mac or the PC that crashed, but since I hear so many good things about Mac's I think I will blame the Mac, why now I need the ammunition.

Americo, so good to see you posting again, jump right back in, give us another shorty, you know you want to.

Debra - Never saw that item, guess I wasn't looking for it, will have to check it out too, I do so love little programs like that, even when I have no use for them. I still have that old program, Nico, I think it was called that has a little kitten who chases your mouse all around the screen. OH and I have Kamikaze cat who runs around your screen climbs up on top of control panels and dives to the bottom like the Devine Wind from WWII.

Well I am doing what I do best, taking up space, so will sign off for the night.

Good Night John Boy.

Jerry


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Wed Mar 14 20:43:53 PST 2001

I'm gonna be the first one with a shortie. :) Hope you enjoy!
*smiles*
Allein

********************

King Quachik rummaged through his mother’s old things hoping to find something that his daughter could bring to school for a history presentation.
He found it strange that his daughter was studying her grandmother as “history” when in his mind he could still remember her – the way she looked, the scent of her perfume, the sound of her voice and her gentle touch. He didn’t need any of the pictures he saw in the old trunk to remember her red lips, her captivating brown eyes, the brown curls of hair that framed her face and her slender body usually dressed in blue – her favorite color.
He pulled one of his mother’s diaries from the trunk. It was her diary of the year he was born.
She’s dead, the king thought. I’m certain she wouldn’t mind.
He opened the diary to June 13th, the day after he and his twin brother, Chélon, were born. There was no entry for June 12th since the queen had spent the majority of that day in labor.
In the diary was written:

June 13th

I never imagined it would be like this. I hardly have the strength to write. I went into labor yesterday afternoon. I thought it would be easier this time, but my daughter was a single birth, my sons were multiples. Three little exact copies of each other. I believe they’re identical but it’s hard to say at this point. I’m going to get some rest with my babies now.


Three, King Quachik thought. She was tired, it must have been a mistake. He read on:

June 13th (again)

My husband has decided that one of the triplets must go. He doesn’t want three brothers fighting over the rights to the kingdom. It is heartbreaking. I am sending the middle child – he seems strong enough. We can’t give away the rightful heir and the youngest seems too weak. I’m sending the child to San Riago in a basket accompanied by my most trusted slave girl.
I will tell the twins we are keeping someday – when they are older.
The eldest of the twins is named Quachik, after my husband’s father. He is chubby and enjoys being fed. He already has downy black hair on his head and there is a birthmark on his shoulder.
The youngest we’re naming Chélon after my father. He’s thinner than his brother and sleeps most of the time. The only difference between him and Quachik is that Chélon’s birthmark is on his rear end. They’re both my little miracles.
I hope one day we’ll all be able to meet again.




June 14th

What’s done is done. My son will grow up never knowing who he truly is. My slave girl says that she found a nice looking family in San Riago and left him on their doorstep. After ringing the doorbell, she hid and watched. The lady there seemed happy to find him and she and her husband took him in.
I suppose now we move on and raise our other sons.
Magiki has seen her brothers – she knows nothing of the third one. At first she seemed displeased – she wanted a sister, but now she’s very protective of them and loves them. I love them too – I always will.


The June 14th entry stopped there. King Quachik flipped through the next few pages but there was nothing more written about the other child. It was as if he never existed.
He leaned back against the wall. It was too late for his mother and Chélon – they had both passed away years ago.
He decided that for his mother, he was going to search for his brother. With that decision, he hurried out of the room and went to find his sister.


Mark Wed Mar 14 19:57:09 PST 2001

HOWARD -- knock knock "a bust" ? {sigh} Still playing that tune, eh? How low can this go? hmm, Maybe Heather's the one to answer that. Speaking of whom . . .

HEATHER -- "Ender's Game" has been in the mail since last week. I'm a bit surprised you haven't posted a note to say you received it. Soon. Customs probably x-rays packages these days.

MARY -- !! cantaloupe (o)(o) -- knock knock -- ah HA -- why yer jus slicker 'n 10W 40. I never did make that connection there. Tho I don't believe I've ever referenced cantaloupes quite like that. I *have* held a woman's casabas in the produce department, and I believe we (the boys and I) did habitually remark on melons the neighborhood girls would carry.


Randall startiki@hotmail.com Wed Mar 14 19:44:56 PST 2001

Good evening all.

Uh, well, let's see. Mmmmm,... gosh, I don't know any knock knock jokes. Ain't that just the way it is. Just when you think you've got a handle on life's mysteries...someone inquires if you know any knock knock jokes! I do know a humorous tale about a parrot, a lady of the night and a one-legged sailor. UHHHHHHHHHH, okay not here! :-)

Life can be cruel, fickle, uncaring, mean, etc.

Hi Americo, old friend. :-) Hang in there buddy.

SAY!!!!! I did see an interesting bumper sticker today. Some dork was cruising 'round town in a cowboy cadillac. On the back window was, "The only thing better than sex, is driving my Ford pickup!"

Wonder what Freud would make of that? (Giggle!) Wonder what Freud would think of our culture? You know, I'm proud to be a Texan, but I think the Good Lord dumped a lot more idiots here than sensible folk.

I HEARD THAT!

Just because I'm unable to come up with a decent knock knock joke is no call to me names. :-)

Well, I'm wasteing Jack's space with my ramblings.

See ya!!!!

Randall


Debra Wed Mar 14 18:29:51 PST 2001

Howard:

I totally fell for that one.

Good one.


I think I'll try it sometime.

Debra


Americo Wed Mar 14 18:22:41 PST 2001

Sounds a bit childish to me, but it's okay. Not so bad as the foot-and-mouth disease at any rate...
Happy night.


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 18:13:08 PST 2001

I guess the knock knock thing didn't work either. It's one of my favorites though. You ask someone if they want to hear a good noknok joke. When they say yes, you tell them "okay, say Knock Knock." So they say Knock Knock, and you say "Who's there?" Then you just stand there and wait for them to realize they've just been had.
Guess you hadda be there.


Wed Mar 14 18:12:46 PST 2001


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 18:05:40 PST 2001

AMERICO - philanderer was a play on words. or an attempt at a play on words. I guess it didn't work.
:-(


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 17:48:56 PST 2001

Who's there?


Mary Wed Mar 14 17:32:10 PST 2001

Out of that 61,748 characters, 17,054 (roughly 28%) of them were mine. I think I will go sit in the corner and shut-up for a little while.

Shortie night tomorrow: SECRETS

bye


Americo Wed Mar 14 17:26:15 PST 2001

Howard,

I wrote philanthropy. Interesting that you read philanderer...



Mary Wed Mar 14 17:05:50 PST 2001

Just for whoever might find this interesting:

The Notebook, before this post, contained

61,748 characters
10,300 words
1,127 lines

I know. I need to get a life. Or so it seems, BUT I actually only spent two seconds on finding that out. I downloaded a freeware application called "Text Tally" from the site Jerry linked to earlier today. ( I was there to check out "WebTalkster", but decided against it. ) I downloaded Text Tally because even though my word processor counts words, it doesn't count characters, which I need for some of my desktop publishing. (I do brochures and newsletters for a few local businesses.) Ahh well, enough of that. See ya later.


Debra Wed Mar 14 16:27:55 PST 2001

Teekay:


Sweetie is on its way, signed, sealed and soon to be delivered.

Debra


Debra Wed Mar 14 16:26:05 PST 2001

Mary:


How-ward you say touche!!!!!!!


Debra


Mary Wed Mar 14 16:21:55 PST 2001

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard I know ?

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard you know unless you open the door ?

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard you like to stand out here in the cold while some idiot keeps saying "Who's there?"

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard you like a punch on the nose ?

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard can it be to guess a knock knock joke ?

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard the ground is when you slip on a banana skin !

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Howard !
Howard who ?
Howard like to be outside for a change ?


Rachel Wed Mar 14 16:11:21 PST 2001

Knock Knock :o)


Mary notdotcalm@yahoo.com Wed Mar 14 16:03:04 PST 2001

HOWARD: Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing?

Knock knock


Debra Wed Mar 14 15:26:04 PST 2001

Knock Knock!


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 15:12:14 PST 2001

Ok DEBRA and RACHEL !!

Say "Knock Knock"


Jerry Wed Mar 14 14:09:47 PST 2001

Found an old Pioneer PL-120 Turntable on Ebay the other day and bid on it, like many things I really don't need, I won the bid. It was advertised as needing a new belt, so I got it real cheap (10.50 plus 15 shipping) It came in the mail a few days ago, and I set it up. Today I dug out some of the hundreds of old LP's my wife and I had long before we were married (most of them anyhow) what a delightful merger they were. Have been listening to them now almost all day, so great to hear the old tunes of my youth. They sound so much better then they did when I had the old Deca record player. The PL-120 drug just a bit when I turned it on, so I took it apart and lubed it, that's all it needed, with modern Silicon club on it, it works fantastic, hooked to our modern stereo and surround sound speaker system it is almost like being there. Sometimes things work out despite themselves.

Now all I have to do is plug that system into my computer and I can transfer them all to CD's so I can take them along camping. Almost camping season you know, have to call and make reservations for a campsite for opening weekend.

Jerry


Rhoda Wed Mar 14 13:59:07 PST 2001

Incidently, the Dow Jones Industrials fell another 317.34 points and the NASDAQ fell 42.70.


Rhoda rfort@familynet.net Wed Mar 14 13:52:13 PST 2001

Just read a horribly depressing article on hoof and mouth disease. I appreciate more than ever what a rough job EDDIE must have. I think prayers and healing energies ought to go out about this problem. A case of hoof and mouth has just showed up in Argentina and there have been some cases in France. This problem is more close at home than I realized. Do you realize that English farmers cannot leave their homes and their children cannot attend school? They are trapped on their lands while looking financial ruin in the face.

I don't mean to put a damp blanket on these "excellent" knock, knock jokes.

Rhoda


Cassandra arcane128@hotmail.com Wed Mar 14 13:24:26 PST 2001

Christie- That's my favorite knock knock joke, expect I usually here it as "interrupting cow". :)

here's one of the others I like...

Knock knock
Who's there?
Apple
Knock knock
Who's there?
Apple
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
orange you glad I didn't say apple?

I like this one mainly for its annoyance factor. Did I ever mention that I have a seriously impish nature?:)

well, writing time for me... I can't waste more of the day sleeping. (don't ask how late I slept in, it's vacation!)Besides I have to go do the dishes at some point... hopefully before dad gets home.

cya
Cassandra


Allein peachick2000@hotmail.com http://members.fortunecity.com/peachick2000 Wed Mar 14 13:16:41 PST 2001

Viv - I've been called a Gaijin before in Seattle's International District - my friends and I went to an Asian restaurant and were treated really badly. The food was good, but they served the Asian people there before they would serve us and they were offended when my friend asked if he could have a fork to eat with. I'm not going to that place again. Most people over there are nice - I didn't expect that experience.
Thanks for teaching us more about Japan though - I like to learn all I can.
*smiles*
Allein


Debra Wed Mar 14 13:14:46 PST 2001

HOward me too.

Debra


Debra Wed Mar 14 13:13:17 PST 2001

Christi:

What a nice thing to say. And out of the blue like that.


You made my day.


Debra


Rachel Wed Mar 14 12:31:58 PST 2001

Howard - I would love to hear your joke.




Howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 11:57:11 PST 2001

MARY - the 30GB? I'm gonna keep track of every time you brighten my life!

:-)


Jerry Wed Mar 14 11:35:48 PST 2001

I guess maybe he was so tired of waiting on his poor wife that he wanted to get even with her, and not have her out looking for him. I don't know just figured it was a good way to get rid of her before he ran to his island. Sometimes I guess men just don't think them through, heck look at me and my shorty.


Jerry

KNOCK KNOCK

WHO'S THERE?

Ilene

Ilene who

I lean over and kiss your rosy lips


Rosemary Wed Mar 14 10:35:28 PST 2001

Howdy all,

DEBRA,
Just send your stuff to the appropriate Editors/publishers and after you sell something, the Agents will be happy to take care of your work. Up till then, you can pretty well believe that the only ones willing to accept you will be the crooks. (There are exceptions to all senarios, but few here.)

It's raining again here. Our boat tour last week was nice if you like grey. At least it didn't actually rain. We were planning to go to Tyler Texas to see the azalias (flowers spelt wrong.) next weekend, but not if the weather stays the same.

TINA,
Excellent shorty and you need a whistling tea kettle.

Shorty later, I hope.
Rosemary



Ben Woestenburg Wed Mar 14 10:33:14 PST 2001

Howard: Did you say Robert Ludlum died? Damn, I sure liked his stuff. He kept the pages turning for me.

Christie: Yes, Kitty is a smart'un, isn't she. That's why I am so glad to see she's here. And btw Kitty, I tried sending you two emails, and they keep coming back with errors. Why's that?

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Dwain.
Dwain who?
Dwain the bathtub, I' dwondin'.

That's my favorite all time knock-knock joke. Been in my head since I was seven at least.

Being "spent" writing hardcore, or doing hardcore writing, isn't that the idea? he-he-he. Or am I just being lecherous?

On the lighter side of things: When I went to work last night, the kids decided they were going to make a birthday cake for their mother. My son insisted that anything less than three layers would be a "loser" cake. I asked my daughter what he was planning to put in it--custard? jam?--and what about the icing? She said not to worry, he was stupid anyway, and didn't have a clue about this sort of thing. She's 12, he's 15. They've never made a cake without one of us there. The last thing I said to them as I left was to make sure they cleaned up the mess.

They made the cake. I came home from a long, stressful,day at work--they took me off the water for some land based shit I hate doing (diving a huge 966-E Cat with a bucket on it)--and I looked at the cake they made. The bottom layer was about two and a half inches thick and sloping to one side, the one on top of that, double the size. There was a third cake sitting on another plate that they didn't use--but I don't think it was for lack of trying on my son's part. The thing was held together with toothpicks, because it was falling off at an angle. The icing--one of those canned jobs I imagine--was spread so thin, the top layer of cake came off and mixed in with it so the color wasn't white anymore, but kid of ochre(?). They get full marks on the cake, because it tasted great, but presentation? I guess that was a bust. The wife loved it of course, because it was a great surprise, and they even cleaned up the mess, which, as we all know, is the most important part of the job when you're making a surprise cake for Mom. I could imagine what the surprise would have been like for them if she came home to a sink full of dishes and her countertops so cluttered with dried on icing and spilled batter...I shudder at the thought.

Anyway, I've gotta go. I've got a story to work on before my daughter comes home for lunch. We're supposed to go to school for an awards presentation for her. Which is easier than going to school for my son which seems to include a trip to the principal's office, week-long suspensions, and general warnings about misconduct. I keep telling myself, five more years and he'll probably want to move out, and then I'll miss his trouble makin' little butt. And then I realize I work with guys who say the kids never want to leave home anymore. Some stay into their thirties...I can already feel myself pulling my hair out.

Now I definitely gotta go
Ben


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 10:31:05 PST 2001

Chee! Doesn't anyone wanna hear my knock knock joke!?!? :-(


Rachel Wed Mar 14 10:10:42 PST 2001

Taylor - Hang in there (hugs).
Take care you,
Rachel


Heather Wed Mar 14 09:55:28 PST 2001

Christi - glad you're feeling better! Hey, cheesy can be good.
Christi, you reminded me that I forgot to wish a special someone something...

Hallee: Pass this on:
Kaylee, HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY TO YOU! And a pinch to grow an inch! *little pinch to her cheek*

Knock knock

Who's there

Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

(Alright, it doesn't matter what knock knock joke it is, they're ALL cheesy)

I have decided to write one scene on my novel per day, no matter how long each scene ends up. I think this will work out better than writing a certain number of pages, at least for me. It will help me keep my thoughts focused on what happens next! I suppose it can be equated to finishing one thought before going on to the next.

Wish me luck.

Hallee, great idea. You're almost ready to edit! Do not fear the editing process. It's only refining an already wonderful thing. I think we fear editing because it may mean some re-writing, and that may at first appear to be too much work to contemplate after so much work already went into the novel! But don't despair. You'll get into the groove of editing in no time. Also, remember that not every sentence, or paragraph for that matter, will need tweaking.

Jerry: Ok - so basically the guy wanted to get caught, somewhere deep down. Even if the police and forensics hadn't found her for a week or two, they would still have been able to gather this evidence and prove it was murder! I liked your story, by the way, and I didn't think it was posted before it was ready. There were just a few little things that I wondered about.

Heather




Wed Mar 14 09:38:01 PST 2001


Christi eggnoggin@yahoo.com Wed Mar 14 09:26:00 PST 2001

Whew! The notebook's getting huge, no thanks to me. Help, Jack!!!!!!!

Randall, I did a fudge and thought I'd just jump on over to my email and answer you, but alas my stupid yahoo account is down-doobie-doo-down-down. (Geez am I a cheese-ball or what today?!)
Anyway, I thought I'd just talk to you here if you don't mind. I have no experience at all with the Hopi culture, but I do know a little about the Yaqui and Navajo. (Very little, I assure you.)

We lived faily close to a Yaqui reservation when I was younger and I had some friends who lived there. Also, my family sponsored a young girl, who happened to be Navajo, to come live in our home so she could further her education. She lived in Snowflake, Arizona, and the furthest grade her schools went to was the sixth grade. She became part of the family, but sadly in the past years we've lost touch. Email me any questions you might have and I'd be happy to tell you what I know. I Hopi I can help you ... oh man, was that bad.

:)
Christi


Christi eggnoggin@yahoo.com Wed Mar 14 09:11:00 PST 2001

Helloooo guys n gals!

Teekay, You're the absolute bestest. Just wanted you to know that.

Mark, You sound as if you're doing well. Good to see you coming here again!

Hey Kitty, What a smart 'un you are!

Hallee, THAT'S GREAT! I know you can do it. And happy late-birthday to Kaylee!
You must tell me. Are you the kind of person who doesn't need a lot of sleep? I wondered, because you do so much writing in spite of all your obligations. I'm trying to make myself wake up earlier than my son, but I need eight hours sleep or I can't function. What's the story? Am I just not dedicated enough?

Hi Americo. Come on, stay around and stir the pot a bit!

Debra, Your stories are great. I always enjoy hearing them.

Randall, Please check YOUR email. ;P

Tina, That was an awesome shortie!

Jerry, I liked your shortie, but why would he even attempt to make it look like an accident if he was going to run for it anyway? Actually, why would he kill his wife at all--he could just take the money and run. I loved the secret though. Were they ACTUALLY playing pinocle or were they playing 'hide-the-salami'?
I'm sorry, that was completely uncouth. HEE! Apologies to Richard. I really couldn't help it though.

Howard, Gariess, and Mark, you guys are TOO funny!
'Knock' me over with a feather ... hey, that makes it sound as if I'm very small! Oh well, it's none ya business anyhoo. ;P Since knock knocks got started because of you, here goes. It's one that nearly every child knows, but I only heard it a few years ago.

KNOCK KNOCK!
WHO'S THERE?
IMPATIENT COW.
IMPATIENT COW W--
MOOOOOOO!

It's much funnier when spoken, but what the hell.

Taylor, You need encouragement after doing hardcore writing? I need encouragement to get some hardcore writing done! Help! Actually, what I really need is the time.

I'm feeling a heck of a lot better today. JOY TO THE WORLD!

Seeyas,

Christi


Wed Mar 14 08:56:01 PST 2001

cold sushi: oximoron or redundency!


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 08:40:23 PST 2001

VIV - sounds as if your "Sunday Suit" guy may have been not as much concerned with outside appearance as he was with putting into practice what was on the "inside." I think there's a parable or two about that, and he apparently took it seriously.

JERRY - I thought I had to format this drive to correct an error I had made. I formatted it with PartitionManager. Turns out I didn't have to format at all. LaL.

ROBERT LUDLUM - R.I.P. -- I truly enjoyed your books.


Jerry Wed Mar 14 08:00:27 PST 2001

Heather - There are things that are obvious to the trained eye that made the police decide before the medical examiner arrived that it was indeed murder, things like the location of the blood on the door frame, and the blue tint of the lips, along with a slight protrusion of the eyeballs due to suffocation. Maybe I should have hinted at that, or even said that, but this is a shorty, and I posted it before I should have obviously.


Jerry


Jerry Wed Mar 14 08:00:23 PST 2001

Heather - There are things that are obvious to the trained eye that made the police decide before the medical examiner arrived that it was indeed murder, things like the location of the blood on the door frame, and the blue tint of the lips, along with a slight protrusion of the eyeballs due to suffocation. Maybe I should have hinted at that, or even said that, but this is a shorty, and I posted it before I should have obviously.


Jerry


Wed Mar 14 07:50:53 PST 2001

Knock, Knock

Who's there

Boo

Boo who?

Well you don't have to cry about it!


Debra Wed Mar 14 07:36:26 PST 2001

Viv:

Do Japanese teens give their parents a hard time, or is that never done in Japan.

Forgive me if that is a stupid question.

I'd just like to know.

Debra


Viv Wed Mar 14 07:23:32 PST 2001

Excuse me Mark for not making myself clear. I am a gaijin living in the Tokyo area. In a large city one finds many foreign nationals. I naturally assumed that others would understand I wasn't the only gaijin in the greater Tokyo area. Would you go to New York and see only Americans?

As for your other comments I will address them as follows: 1. Western and Eastern men do have a different values. You wouldn't see a Japanese man stop to help change a flat tire. This is not the way the situation is handled. Japanese get out their cell phones and call others to repair the tires. Americans, Canadians, Germans, French, and Italians seem to think, changing a tire is not a major repair. They tend to roll up sleeves and get to work. Many times it's due to the fact that we do not know what number to call nor would we be able to tell someone what was wrong or where we were located. We simply do it ourselves rather than go through a major hassle in communication.

2. Sunday suit. On Sunday morning when a man wears a suit one would assume he has been to church. Generally the Sunday suit is of a better quality than the average working day clothing. There's a basic understanding that one should not have to change a tire when he is dressed in a suit. Suits cost a rather large amount of money and the man may not be able to go have his tailor make another on a whim.
Note: On Sunday, many foreigners as well as local nationals go to church. There are many very active churches in the area. If you can't find your faith you simply go in any church and ask. You will be handed directions! No, Japan is not all temples. We have freedom of religion here. These are modern times! Many of the private schools in Japan have religious affiliation. Students often join the faith of the school.

3. Finally and most important of all...that wasn't a story simply a running commentary on a subject being discussed. When I write a "story" in the notebook (for a shortie theme), I'll be sure to place your name and let you know that it is fiction. Sometimes we all discuss things other than serious fiction in the notebook.

Viv



Debra Wed Mar 14 06:31:25 PST 2001

Mary:

You could never be a failure.


Debra


Mary Wed Mar 14 06:23:08 PST 2001

Good Morning Everybody!

Why do I suddenly feel like a knocker failure? ;-)


Debra Wed Mar 14 05:57:37 PST 2001

I made up a knock knock joke when I was doing daycare for preschoolers.

Knock knock


who's there


Ya

Ya hoo!


remember preschoolers.


howard htuckey@stny.rr.com Wed Mar 14 05:37:11 PST 2001

Well that was a bust! Wait, though, Teekay hasn't come in on it yet. Teek, would you like to hear a good knock knock joke?


taylor xfilefanatic2000@yahoo.com Wed Mar 14 02:30:40 PST 2001

hmmmmm hi people
i think i need some encouragement or something...
ive been doing some hardcore writing, and I just feel so..... spent


Return to forwriters.com