Writers Notebook

Treachery - -

I was so very proud to have served this great nation. I felt it an honor. I went proudly to the air port, and held my head high as the hippies and yippies and peaceniks chanted horrible things and threw balloons filled with their urine over the fence trying to hit us.

Sometime, while over there it came to me that all was not as we were told, the war was wrong, very wrong but still I served, MY COUNNTRY RIGHT OR WRONG! I thought, I was so very proud of that great flag of red white and blue that flew over our camps, proud of the heroism of our troops, proud of our country for trying to do the right thing despite their mistaken backing of the wrong side.

The pride stayed with me when I got home, things were not all that great when I got home, the anti war crowd were getting even more angry, and doing even worse things, yet I stayed, I served. For eight years I served, for eight years I stayed with the Army, for eight years I offered my life for my country.

Now, when I sit wounded, unable to fight any longer, my country seems to say "it makes no difference what you did, nobody cares, we want our money no matter what!"

To quote the U.S. Attorney "What are we supposed to feel sorry for you?" My answer was NO, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, just recognize that what I did made a difference.

Turning it's back on it's veterans, that seems the ultimate in treachery.

Sorry for ranting and raving, I am just a bit pissed off and down in the dumps, I will get over it, I always do.

Jerry 7-13-2001 0:36

&&Heather&&

Ah, alas, I did not write those poems. I agree; they are very good. I'm also very flattered that some thought they might be mine!

Debra - I think you are exhausting yourself and your kids aren't ready to toilet train yet. Of course you will get very frustrated and near losing your mind if they aren't going on the potty/toilet and are instead having numerous accidents. Think of it this way: Would you rather change diapers a little longer or have to clean up after messy accidents all the time? Diapers, please. By now I'm sure you're about an expert in toilet training kids; but no matter what they have to be willing and ready. They have to be able to tell when they need to go, and also have the muscle control to be able to hold it for a minute or two while they physically get to the bathroom. This takes time and practice - when they wear diapers they just go whenever there is the urge - no need to hold it in.
If you absolutely won't go back to diapers, have you tried 'pull-up' training pants? They're sort of like diapers, but if they 'go' in them, they feel wet. Not like the 'modern' diaper, which does its best to keep 'baby's skin dry'. It's often hard to tell if those diapers are even wet unless you gently squeeze them (from the outside, of COURSE). Now if you used cloth diapers, it's a whole different ball game.

My daughter trained in two weeks at the age of 2 and 1/2. I wanted to take her camping (not at a campgrounds with bathrooms) so I had a talk with her and she was willing to try. At the end of those two weeks she was even dry all night. We celebrated much like Viv did! Bought her fancy underwear and made her feel special, and we had an absolute blast when we went camping the next weekend.

My son, on the other hand took what seemed like forever. He didn't get interested in actually using the toilet until age 3, and I tried the potty thing for 5 months. He refused to use it. This sounds weird, but I asked my husband if he'd SHOW my son how it was done (pee, mind you) and after that my little guy actually thought it was cool - fun, you know. I guess it's the thrill of 'writing your name in the snow'. Then I bought a potty seat that fits over the real toilet because he wouldn't sit on a potty. He used it almost right away and has been trained ever since. The thing was, we just had to wait until he was ready. If I'd tried to force him to sit on the potty I would have been doing much more harm than good. He doesn't see the toilet as a threatening thing. He doesn't think he'll fall into it, or that I'll get mad at him if he doesn't use it... etc.
Now the problem is that he is busy playing and tries to wait forever before going. He'll be doing the 'pee pee dance' so frantically that I wonder how he can get his wee pair of jeans down in time! But he is getting better.

Mel - brilliant! I love the idea of 'TOADY DANCES DOWN'.
I CAN draw, but usually the manuscript for a children's book is submitted without drawings, and the publisher would contract the illustrator they think would give the illustrations just the right look. It's actually harder to have a kid's book published if you have the drawings already, but I've got a kid's book or two still up my sleeve - for that wonderful day I've got my other novel(s) finished and they're off in the great mailing circle.

Have to run... wanted to say more and greet more people with individual comments, etc., but time does not permit!
Take it easy, friends. HUGS TO YOU ALL!

Heather 7-13-2001 0:06

**Teekay**

Good morning everyone,

Well whoever did the smbolistic, haiku, feminist etc offerings well done. Well done indeed I say.

MEL: Standing ovation. This idea really should be seized upon and worked with, because it seems a shame to let it fade into oblivion.

HOP: Good to see you ol' buddy ol' pal.
To be perfectly honest, all joking aside, I have to tell you that I think I'm one of the most normal people I know.
Although my sense of what's funny may be a little off the wall, I don't have any behavioural conditions which would have me locked away or frowned upon by society, and apart from the occassional bad haircut I can pretty well mix innoticed within the general public.
So yes, as maybe the only normal person on this earth, I can tell you that yes, indeed, they do exist. :-)
I think perhaps my post on 'normal' people would perhaps be more appropriate if I replaced the word 'normal' with 'boring'. :-)

Also, perhaps God didn't actually make those commandments, maybe the church did because they wanted control over man kind, and what better way to get it that through fear of spending the afterlife in hell?

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I would like to point out that I did say 'perhaps' and 'maybe'.
Just covering myself for the onslaught which may follow.
bwaaaark.

VIV: But I am. I am hot on Oprah.

DEBRA: Just so long as it's a pot of despair. :-D
Could be much worse.

TREACHERY:
Beautiful lips speak caramel words
to mask the bitterness,
and a stunted soul, a hungry heart
would seek to make me less.

Soft poetry into my ear
two meanings does it speak,
those perfumed words spoken aloud
to cover the whispers reek.

And cruel innuendo in flattery's guise
'tis the touch of the devils kiss
soft upon this cheek of mine,
-what treachery be this?

Going,

Teekay 7-12-2001 22:14

Viv - I'll send that now. I've been busy these past few days getting my externship done and all the papers finalized - now all I have to do is find a job. :)

Allein Allein's World 7-12-2001 22:10

Mel and Viv:

Well Mel, I know what you're saying. I know that I'm not alone in this either. I am, however, alone in this house with them and that makes me feel alone. Thank goodness for my friends at the NB.

Viv:

Unfortunately, we won't be able to afford Kindergarten, well preschool. Kindergarten is free. Preschool is for the three year olds and we won't be able to afford that. No I'm training them now because they are three and I've had enough changing diapers. I changed diapers every day since 1989. Most of that is because of all the daycare, but my mind is fried and I don't want to do it any more. So I am the one who is ready, apparently it's only me.

Debra 7-12-2001 22:03

Allein: Where's the song to translate. I didn't get anything on my e-mail account yet. Hana is set and will work on it after she studies or on the weekend or between exams. It won't take her too long she says. Please send immediately and don't wait so I can get it to her. Also I have some friends (Japanese) who will visit August 1. I can have them check the translation. They are English prof. who work with me.

Viv again 7-12-2001 21:56

Rosemary: Throw out the photographs and look for someone out here who can draw your book's pictures. I'll bet there is someone here who can have fun with this. I wish I knew how to draw. Also maybe you could use some sort of photographic technique where you superimpose one on the other. I know how to do an old style darkroom trick but it doesn't work all that well. With a computer maybe you have another way.

Debra: Are you training the kids so they can join the kindergarten in the fall? I had to train Hana so she could go to kindergarten (it started at age 3). If you didn't your kid was considered slow...which Hana was. She was very slow to train and once painted the wall for me in the bedroom with you know what. I lost it with that and really let her know I meant business. After that she was fine. I did it that way because we were moving soon and I wanted her to enjoy the town kindergarten. She loved it once she got in and still talks about the fun they had there. Some of her kindergarten buddies still write her from Germany.

On Sarah, I left her in diapers until she was tired of running around with wet diapers. That was the day of the pin up, not pull downables. I just ignored her and then when I had time I'd say, "Oh, you poor thing. that really stinks. I'll bet you'll be glad to be big enough to get out of diapers." THEN AFTER THE COMMERCIAL MESSAGE I CHANGED HER. I'd tried training but when it wouldn't work I said, "Oh you are too little to learn this."

I left her in the darned diapers until she was begging for real panties. Everyone had them and she wanted them. She was about 31/2 Then I took FOREVER to decide and have time to go shopping. Every day I'd wake up and she'd say, "Now?" I'd say, Oh no..not today. I don't have time. YOu have to wait and be a baby some more. Sorry, but I just can't go shopping today. That took about 4 days. When we finally went we made a big celebration of the panties. We bought ruffly pairs, colored pairs and we told the salesgirl (who thought I was crazy) that we were buying her first underware (at 3 and a half! Disgustingly slow!) We had an ice cream party to celebrate and invited her friends to admire the underware. There were still accidents but they didn't happen too often and she didn't paint the wall. I thought it was more fun to do it that way. There was more joy in the growing and celebrating the change from baby to child. This is also traditional in Japan. You celebrate the ages 3, 5 (for girls only), 7. They wear kimono's and go to the shrine. So it sort of fell into line with the Japanese ideas especially when I lied and said it was the custom to train late and underware was like a kimono in a way. They fell right into the game and accepted it, maybe because they were being kind too.
My kids are physically very slow. They don't walk until they are about one year and two months, they didn't ride bikes easily, and they don't really excel in sports until their late teens. It's just a physical awkwardness.

Whatever way you decide on, it's not a big deal. They don't remember too much about it. I think they make a huge hairy deal in the books about potty training. I just sort of did what felt right for each kid. Hana liked being a baby. She was carried until my back broke down at age 5-6. She wouldn't walk anywhere. My oldest carried her, my husband carried her, and even when her feet were dangling almost to my knees, I carried her. If I hadn't forced the issue she'd still be wearing diapers. She's a sweet kid, but not real concerned about being older than she is or sanitary.

Allein: Don't tell her I told you that when she translates for you. She's now very sanitary 14 and all grown up.

Viv 7-12-2001 21:38

RANDALL

Hi all

Sorry to hear of your problems Jerry. I think the distress I see between the lines is something that comes with unwanted age and unforgiving maturity in an unfair world. And it doesn't help to see others apparently breeze through life with few cares. We all see these jerks. With all the money they need. And brand new 50,000 vehicles. And 200,000 homes. And 25,000 bass boats. And vacations to the sea. And wasting enough money in a month that would keep your family in food for a year. And credit cards up the ying yang. Been there. Hell, am there!

An old Chinese man told me one time. "Stand on a bridge long enough and the body of your enemy will float by." Well, actually I read the quote one time. (Red face. Sheepish grin.) The only "Old" Chinese I ever knew were saying things like...."Hey sailor! Come inside check it out!" Or "Hey sailor my sister dances for you!" Things like that. Still the quote is right, well sorta, and probably has more meaning if you live near running water (I don't) or of Chinese extraction. Perhaps it means that eventually those who do you wrong will eventually pay the piper? Sounds good.

Jerry, one of the more relevant quotes I've heard came from Elvira....the Halloween lady. The teenage boys dream girl, with a black shiny slinky seductive slit dress up to there? She hosted a TV show lately...on vampires (Imagine that!) and said. "Being a vampire sucks. I mean that's unnatural!" :-) You gotta love understated humor.

No one promised us a life filled with positives and just as soon as I find out why not and where this person is...I'm gonna look 'em up and try a little bit of their ass on! :-) Cause it seems the older I get the more problems I have. Frankly, I'm dragging so much baggage behind me now I need a dozen Skycaps and/or Baylor Medical just to get along. I thought when I retired, secured another job we would be on easy street. Couldn't have been more wrong if I tried! Ross Perot would weep in shame at the financial load I'm carrying these days. It is very frustrating! Texas poet in residence Willie Nelson once said, "Where there is no solution to a problem, there's no problem." Which is darn hard to follow when the temperature is 105 and the house AC is running 25 hours a day. Unfortunately, the power company does not share Willie's philosophy and WILL pull the plug if you get behind. "Randall, we share your pain, but this is business, so pay or sweat." Still, Willie's remark makes sense in a weird kind of a way, just wish he would learn how to sing......:-)

On a more somber note.....sent a section of my manuscript to Native Peoples magazine in LA. As the book deals with Native Americans, I asked one of their Navajo editors to comment. Nothing yet......

Hang in there Jerry. One day all of this will be behind us. Well, time to have a bowl of peach ice creme.

Randall

Randall 7-12-2001 20:00

Garies - thanks, well I do have a Chevy Silverado extended cab 4X4 and the arms, I guess I could round up a couple of other guys, but I don't think I would use the arms that way. No matter how angry I get, I know doing something stupid like that would only make things so much worse. I would make me feel better for a short time.

Fixing the money thing is going to be hard, but I just got off the phone with an attorney who says he can help for a very reasonable fee. I found him by talking to a friend here in town who is an attorney but doesn't handle such things. I feel a bit better now after speaking with him, he sounded like he knows what he is doing, and how to help.

Don't think I can come up with a shorty today, way to much other stuff happening right now and my sister and brother in law are down for a visit, always a comfort to see them. This is also celebration time here in Lemmon, as we have the Boss Cowman rodeo happening, with all the timings, including a huge block long tent where they hold dances, plays dinners and things like that. The rodeo is a three day affair beginning tomorrow afternoon and ending Sunday afternoon. We bought buttons that let us into all activities, the buttons cost twenty bucks each but are well worth it. I skipped the steak dinner last night, didn't feel up to it. Been having some back trouble of late, and hitting the pills way more then I like. Anyhow I ramble on, so will sign off before I run the notebook over.

Hi to all. Thanks for the hugs, I can use them right now.

Jerry 7-12-2001 18:48

MEL,
Those stairsteps were a cute daydream. The complete impossibility of even getting those animals together, much less lined up is staggering. On top of that, those geese are MEAN. The dog would co-operate but he would be the only one. Have to learn how to manipulate photos. One of each then put them together. I think toad season is over too. Haven't seen one in a couple of weeks.

The cutest ideas are usually the most difficult.
Bye,

Rosemary 7-12-2001 16:02

ROSEMARY: How about photographs of your cute animals in their most-visual moments? :-) Could you line up the Doberman, the goose, the duck and the chicken with the frog?? THAT would be most challenging! But fun! :-)Collaboration sounds intersting - I've wanted to do some kids' books; I too have a lot to learn about them. From working in libraries, I've seen a lot of cute little books that don't rhyme - that's the author's choice!

Mel 7-12-2001 13:46

++Rosemary++
Howdy,

JERRY,
I noticed that 'arcadeathome' has 'death' in the middle. Wonder if they did that on purpose???

HOP,
Darn, I thought you might have a grusome instatutional experience you could gross us out with. I guess I didn't read the piece with the reference in it. It really worked out with you being gone for a while though. Sneaky.

MEL,
Thanks, the knee only hurts when I first get out of bed or a chair. It stiffens up really fast. The MRI is not until the 27th of this month. No telling what the knee will be doing by then.
About the book idea. It sounds great, but finding an artist who can reproduce my vision, and a publisher willing to invest in a new author, and learning the rules of childrens books, (they're rigid about formatting) then they will probably want it to rhyme and I don't do poetry. The whole thing is giving me a headache. But thanks to you and Teekay for your encouragement.
P.S. I loved "Toady Dances Down" Think Collaboration. What's a few miles between writers?

Got to go,

Rosemary 7-12-2001 13:36

**GS**

Posting in the blind somewhat. I am trying to squeeze in a bit of posting before running off for an appointment. I will read all the posts later,

Jerry,

Sorry to have rankled you so, especially at a time when you seen to be under seige. Upon reconsideration, I believe it not best to react to political comments. Your plight with the SS (Social Security) etc. sounds like a very unenviable thing to be in. I am unclear how it shakes out, but it doesn't sound like happy time to me. I hope it works out so you don't have to exercise your right to bear arms (with two other guys in a chevy silverado.) A right, I must make clear, that I do not oppose. Never did.

gariess 7-12-2001 13:10

DEBRA: Tell your kids "what's in it" for them; e.g. as soon as they're potty-trained, as a family you can go more places, you'll be able to take them to the zoo, etc. Make the learning experience end-rewards higher for them. We mommies KNOW the end-rewards for mommies are indescribably relieving! :-)

Mel again 7-12-2001 12:57

DEBRA: Don't feel bad; my other four kids took a normal(?) year or more to potty-train. Some say it's the parents who are getting trained, to take their kids on a regular basis for trips to the bathroom until the kids make the magical connection. I always resisted that self-training; I figured each child would learn the technique when they were ready, with some parental guiding and discipline, of course. But don't make yourself crazy! The day after you fall, exhausted, frustrated, and depressed beyond words, into that pot of despair, your kids will all of a sudden make the connection like it was no big deal to learn and then you'll wonder why you exhausted yourself trying to teach it to them!

Mel 7-12-2001 12:44

Mel:

TWO WEEKS!

In two weeks I'll be face down on the floor in a pot of dispair.

Debra 7-12-2001 12:13

*@* Rachel *@*

Debar - To crap a brick is very painful! That must be why people do what I ask of them in my house. They don't want to see it happen (wink).

Hop - Hop, HOp, HOP! Love that name! I just want to get up and spring all over the house.

Caio for now.

Rachel

7-12-2001 11:52

Heather - I used to know a family like that, but they only had two kids (yes there is a God who saw what was happening and stopped them from reproducing after they had their two) He used to work for me on the PD until I had to fire him for theft. His wife was an absolute bitch, and everyone knew it, including him. Their house was so bad that your feet stuck to the carpet when you walked through their house. When the left town the folks who bought their house (for a song) had to hire a cleaning company to come in and steam clean the whole place. They found the skeleton of a cat under one of the beds that they left, it was in their son's bedroom. They moved to Fargo, where he was hired by the University there as a campus cop, he worked there for a couple of years then had a nervous breakdown. Workers Comp sent him back to college and now he is an unemployed social worker. It was interesting when I fired him, he lived in the basement of the house, she lived upstairs. He had his own kitchen and never went upstairs, she never came down. The kids had the run of the place and no attention from either parent. I got an email from him yesterday (he forgave me for firing him, I haven't forgiven him for making me do it.) He had a link to one of those white power sites, saying they were right, and that he finally found people he could call friends. Now that's scary.

Jerry 7-12-2001 11:15

Hop - retro gaming? Ever tried MAME or RAINE? If you are into retro-gaming, these two emulators will give you over three thousand arcade games, all you have to do is download the software, then get the ROM's. ROM's for mame are at http://www.mame.dk or http://www.arcadeathome.com the later also has ROM's and Emulators for hundreds of other emulators. My favorite is MAME, then Nesticle which is a super emulator for the Nintendo system. There are also emulators out there for almost any gaming system you can think of, even the Nintendo 64 and their competitors. These take up a large portion of my hard drive, but the kids absolutely love them when they come to visit.

Jerry 7-12-2001 11:09

Heather: That is the family from hell. They are perfect characters for a novel (as the bad guys) because every woman has lived through one or more of these pains.

Teekay: Glad you aren't all that hot on Oprah. The woman makes me feel cross.

Heather did you write that poetry? It was fantastic!

Howard: I'm sorry that happened. There's nothing like the gut punch of hearing, "Don't need you anymore." Ignore this, start writing. More than one writer became a published writer out of necessity.

End of the term. Today we had final oral exams. Five kids wouldn't stop talking. I told them to quit three times and they wouldn't shut up. The kids who were taking the exam in the front of the room had to stop talking and wait while I corrected them, then begin again. Three times this happened. Once it happened the kids in the front of the room would not do very well on their exam. I finally said, "Ok, you say one thing more and you fail this exam. O. YOu get nothing. Don't talk.

They kept talking (although one girl was smart enough to get up and go to the back of the room, away from the group). They failed. They went to my boss and complained.

Fun city. Tomorrow I get to go in for a review of grades and attendance. Most have missed just enough class to fail but some are under the 7 absences required to fail. I hope these little spoiled brats manage to trip themselves up time and again. Basically what I want to see is their lousy little backs...and I hope they spend most of their vacation with the people that raised them. Serve all of them right, parents who raised them, and the kids that have to live with the kind of parent who would raise that kind of "kiss my ass" attitude kid. Sorry, blowing off steam.
This place can get to you. That, Teekay, is why I keep a couple of little lizard STORIES (not lies) in my back pocket for the rough times. When all the @##$@%TYU&&^***flies about, I just sort of take those little stories out and run them over in my mind.

Howard, my husband is due to join the ranks of the unemployed after February. Maybe we all should look for a good steam grate together. (I want one outside of the Library of Congress, but I'm not picky, about any library will do).

Viv 7-12-2001 10:43

HOP: You're a rascally fella! :-) I thought maybe you named the Viewoods of your story after a real place when you said you went there! Now you can laugh at me too. So glad it was a ficticious (sp?) trip for you!!! As for staying up late (e.g. till 4 a.m. or later), I used-to-could, before I married and had CHILDREN--having kids who get up early and get you up early and stress you through the day at unpredictable moments takes its toll on your mentally-alert factors. No more late nights for me! Until maybe one day, if and when the kids all leave home for good... Hmm, lessee, sixteen or more years from now, I'll be 62 or so...will I WANT to stay up late by then? Prob'ly fall asleep in my porch rocker, wonderin' where I left my teeth...

Mel 7-12-2001 10:12

I was giggling with laughter (something I should be doing more of) when I read how concerned everyone was when I mentioned Viewoods social rehabilitation centre. I'm sure people like Rachel and Mel got the joke because the phrase about Viewoods was one of the sentences in the opening paragraph of my story.

I'm now an official New Zealand citizen!

I just got a gamepad which works fairly well with all those old console games I have on my computer. I'm a retro gamer and the experience of using a gamepad to play those games is very very very satisfying. Ah, the simple things in life are the best.

Viv's talk on medicine and doctors who asked you what you felt was wrong reminded me of Chinese doctors who tend to rely on looking at the whole body and on what symptoms the patient says he or she has. It's what they call a holistic view.

To cure most of these problems Chinese doctors will give you medicine which doesn't treat the illness per se but strengthens the body using the bodies natural defenses against the viruses or bacteria.

In my opinion, its better thing for everyday illnesses like colds and coughs which aren't life threatening. I might like to add that my mother had excessive bleeding after giving birth to my youngest brother and she took Chinese medication which probably saved her life.

Viv
Stress has the complete opposite effect on me, my immune system gets really hyper and I don't feel or stay sick even if I get the flu. After the stress drops I practically need life support, I shuffle around the house like the living dead giving out moans to try and ease my pain.

Try searching for race on Yahoo. I'm tired of explaining (typing out) the whole thing. I did and found a number of interesting articles denouncing it.

Heather
Oh never mind about the post.

Rosemary
What can I say about Viewoods now that we all know its just a fictional place? First off, its a maximum security centre for the most violent and dangerous inmates and boasts trained security teams with 24 hour surveillance via computer and alarms just about every where.

Most recently, a latent psionically gifted person somehow managed to break out and wreck the whole place. Two detectives have been assigned to it and so has most of the Psi-police department.

Mel
Funnily enough, now that's its the holidays I'm staying up even later than before (4 AM was the latest) but that's at home. It's not that I have insomnia but rather I've just got so many things do. Writing etc.

Randall
I'm going to give your deputy story a "hearty laugh" score.

Rhoda
Coincidentally enough I've been having problems with the CD writer on my computer and my software is CD creator 4. Now that I know the software doesn't work well (thanks to Jerry) I'll try getting others.

Teekay
I was rarely considered normal. So I've always wondered, do normal people even exist? Maybe that's why story tellers exist because people need stories and art to fill a hole their lives which they can't fill. The more creative I feel the more I find myself criticising the "mainstream" entertainment.

That reminds me, if you're a Marxist (should I leave this message nameless in case I get flamed by anti- communist fanatics?) then the ten commandments and religion was devised to keep the population "normal" by what the ruling class considers "normal."

If you're a Christian, the commandments were created because God decided that doing those things was abnormal.

If you're a philosopher, the commandments were created to be debated and examined.

If you're a theologian, the commandments were created to be debated and examined but the conclusion must always be that God is always right and since those commandments are from him they must be.

If you're a chicken, those commandments were created to protect you from human customs although the trade off is your descendants being eaten by man.

Jerry
Thanks for the advice about CD writers. Hopefully I'll get mine working.

Anybody going by the name e-mail name Jack Daniels?

Barnabas "Hop" 7-12-2001 9:49

**MEL**

G'Mornin'! :-) Put on your smiles and stir up the muses - it's gonna be a writin' day! But first, a few words for...

DEBRA: re: potty training...This too shall pass (forgive the pun). My third child trained the easiest: he got tired of climbing the stairs every hour on the hour to sit on the potty and expressed his discontent - he was told as soon as he went potty the right way, he wouldn't have to climb the stairs to the bathroon so often...two weeks, he got the hang of it.

AMERICO: Finish a book this year? Yes! I want to, I want to! Now where did I leave those nails so I can finish pinning my muse to the table? :-) I too enjoyed your beautiful words re: S&S. Inspiring!!

RANDALL: I agree with Mark: send your stories off to Hollywood! :-)

HOWARD: Sorry to hear of the lay-off...(((HUGS))) to you. Remember your shoulder might feel better for it - blessings in disguise - and more time to write is ALWAYS a blessing!!! Go for it! :-)

TINA: Will your hubby bake you a cake for 8/25 if you shop for the ingredients? Nahh - make him take you out to dinner AND dessert! :-) BTW, are you ready for the HIERO book? I'll send it on as soon as you want it. It was utterly fantabulous! :-)

JERRY: Good luck with the finances. Financial problems can make life really tough -- take a deep breath and remember the cheery sun and the azure are still up there, behind the clouds. Hope things smooth out for you soon. (((HUGS)))

HEATHER: Birthmarks...no lasting ones in my family that I recall; baby birthmarks faded by a couple years of age. Along with birthmarks for impacting a person's character or personality can be other physical attributes, like a cleft chin, a tooth that grew in too high and never dropped to the proper place, a widow's peak in the forehead hairline or a "Dagwood" hair that sticks straight up from the back of the head that no amount of combing or gel will flatten...etc. Then there are scars that occur during growing up and stay with you for the rest of your life...I have an "x" scar on on of my knees - a scratch in one direction, followed by a deep scratch not too long after the first one healed... Oh, the variety of things we can conjure for our characters to add touches of humanness to their forms! :-)

TEEKAY: I LOVED the "Ghost and Mrs. Muir" - both T.V. series and the original movie! :-) Re: your novel - try not thinking in chapters sometimes but about the story as a whole; what other events need to happen? Write them down; you can go back later and write the transition words to bridge the previously written chapters with the new scenes...and theblock will probably disappear without much trouble (my theory, anyway!). I think if writing came easily all the time, we might get bored with it. A block makes us step back and look at the big picture again. BTW, thanks for supporting me in encouraging Rosemary. :-) See following...

ROSEMARY: Ouch for the knee! :-/ Hope you're doing okay, not too much pain... Now about those visuals (and Teekay agrees!!): here's a sampling (and I think your muse is giving you these visuals as raw fodder - take them and chew them and find satisfying little stories amidst the grains of inspiration!) #1 - ducks waiting for grain to fall from horse's mouth: could be a counting book, each number represented by the pieces of grain that fall on which the ducks pounce and feed, and inbetween the numbered grain pieces, the horse chews and the ducks wait below... :-) #2 - disgusted horse eating old hay could be the start of a midnight mutiny, the horses break into the new supply for a picnic or a romp, when done they tidy up and return to where they were, and the next morning the farmer is scratching his head wondering why he's low on new hay... :-) #3 - poodle goosing the chicken...I'm still thinking on this one but I believe there's a great story in that one too. :-) And finally, #4 - and also my SHORTIE (heh heh - killing two birds--virtual birds that is--with one stone):

"TOADY DANCES DOWN"
For Rosemary (who saw it first)

leAP!!!

Ahh, Toady in the birdbath,
wet and cool,
Doing little froggy-kicks
'round the pool.

Swimming now is done,
So is the fun!
How to get down?
"Oh no!" Toady frowns.

"Dobey-Man, help!"
The dog circles 'round
And with a kick to the left
and a heel-click to the right,
Toady...dAnCeS...down.

"Goosey-Lady, help!"
Goose by dog found
And Toady dances down.

"Duckie-Friend, help!"
Duck, closer to the ground,
waddles off in glee.
"Can't get down from THIS duck!"
"Ohh," Toady moans. "TREACHERY!"

Then, "Chickie-Gal, help!"
Chick hops closer to the sound,
And Toady dances down.

:-)

Rosemary: thanks for such great inspiration!! My poetry is bad, but hope you get the idea!

Have a terrific writing day, you-all!!

Mel 7-12-2001 9:14

Teekay: Well, we moved across town, and that seemed to do the trick for the most part. Since we've moved, though we didn't move to get away from her (it was an added benefit!), at first she called a lot, and she wanted to come over all the time (and I said we were still unpacking - lie lie), but only recently did I actually go and visit her. Her daughter and my daughter loved playing together, and it was a tough call on my part whether or not they saw each other much (even when we lived nearby). It's not the daughter's fault that the family is a mess. I did not, and still do not however, allow my daughter to play in their house (it's so filthy that I won't go into that). It was all right for her to play at ours, and outside, but I drew the line there. And I was the sole supervisor even if they played at HER house, so they played often at ours.

At that time we rented the top two floors of this great big old red brick home, but we did have some really horrid downstairs neighbours. A nose-in-the-air student couple, who assumed that since I was a mother at 21 I had never seen the halls of a University, let alone a secondary school(or high school, for those of us NBers from the U.S.). They also felt the need to shove useless factoids about nature down my throat - heedless to the fact that I likely knew more about nature than these two suburban-raised, never-climbed-a-tree or made-a-lean-to-in-the-snow or ice-fished in their lives. Their idea of 'camping' was to rent a tidy hotel and watch birds with binoculars from the window. Me, I've been dive-bombed by birds when I got too close up in the tree and was within an arm's reach of the nest.
Not only that, but their idea of preservation of wildlife meant confining a magpie in the spare, windowless room between their kitchen and the front room. Oh, but it had been 'imprinted' by humans because at birth they'd been mauled by the 'breeder'. Really, it was a jerk who raided a magpie nest just before hatching time.
But there is sweet justice. That bird took every chance it got to bite them! And, because magpies can imitate human languages, after every time it bit them it soon started repeating the oft-screamed phrase of, "No bite! No bite!", and would finish with the eeriest imitation of laughter. I could hear it from upstairs. They had to eventually give the bird to the Toronto Zoo! HA HA HA HA HA!

Pertinent to discussion: These two decided that my daughter shouldn't be seen around the yard (since she MIGHT annoy them), especially not with friends. Especially not the neighbour woman's daughter because her daughter had an unfortunate birth mark that this couple found hideous. It is a raised bump with a bruised-looking end, on the girl's eyebrow. It is really quite large. The first time I saw it I wondered if she was being beaten, but it was quickly explained after my daughter brazenly asked about it.

Now I don't care about what my daughter's friends look like per say, and certainly not what a birth mark looks like. That's no reason not to have this wee girl as my daughter's friend, and she is, out of any of that family, a real sweetheart. That's what counts.
And birthmarks, hey, I've got one. Everyone in my family has one. I've lived with it, and it certainly does not mark us as anything other than human! Ours are not raised birthmarks like this little girl's is, but I liken hers to an off-centre unicorn horn, and so does she!
I did wonder, at first, upon meeting this family, that if the surgery to remove the birthmark was free (excuse me, covered) then why wouldn't they have it removed while she was young? They explained that that's how God made her, and there's nothing wrong with it. I agreed, but I did also say that birthmarks do make their 'owners' uncomfortable sometimes. It's not what others will think of it, but the girl herself.
Anyhow, it's not been removed and this wee girl doesn't mind. Now that's what I see that's good in her family. They are right. There wasn't anything wrong with it to begin with. No reason to alter what's already just fine. Guess it was the same with my birthmark, though the only worry was if it changed in size and shape, that it may have to be removed for health reasons.
So far, no problem. My kids have birthmarks too - my son's is like mine, my daughter's is more like my husband's; a perfectly round, brown mole-type mark.

On the subject of birthmarks, does everyone here have one?
Some are teensie things that are no more than a beauty mark - or indeed, it could be just a tiny beauty mark - otherwise known as a dark freckle all by itself, or a small, usually hairless mole. Then there are relatively large ones. I know a young woman with a port-wine that covers most of one side of her face. She's learned to live with it but she's terribly shy of meeting new people - in this day and age people still stare.

My older brother had a port-wine birthmark on his face as a baby, and by two years old it had disappeared. Sometimes they're called 'strawberries'. I knew a boy in school who had one over one eye, and it didn't disappear over time.
Mine is a brown mole, and it's exactly the same shape as a thumb-print, on my left calf. My son's is the same colour and a very similar shape on his back, just above his waistline on the right side. Rather over his right kidney... my daughter's is a small oval that is barely discernable from her skin tone but it's there nonetheless, just at the edge of her knee. My husband's is on his big toe, on the top.

I think a large number of people have birthmarks, and I'm interested to know if perhaps adding one 'onto' one of my characters might be part of rounding them out a bit, giving the reader a real 'image' of who the character is - like Rosemary's 'VISUALS'.

A relatively small thing like a birthmark can have a large impact on the character. I, for one, spent years trying to hide my birthmark when I was in a swimwuit. I hated it, and used to beg my mom to have it removed. She wouldn't unless it was for medical reasons, but she never did actually come out and say, 'You're perfect just like you are.' She did INFER it, I just missed catching that angle for a long time. My friend who has the port-wine on one side of her face is in fact not shy if she's in close company. She went to many different doctors over the years, but for a birthmark that size there wasn't anything they could do within reason.

Anyhow, get back to me on the birthmark Q.
Do, as they say, bare all.

Allein: Howard's snail mail address is written in the front page of the book! Hurrah for Howard's thoughtfulness!

Jerry: I'm really sorry to hear about the financial/gov't trouble. What a horrid PAIN IN THE ASS. Here's hoping you find a lawyer that will not sleep (much) until your claim has been won.

Have a great night/day all.

Heather 7-12-2001 3:13

Haiku:

Bathing, I stand on a stone
Slab. Someone pours water
Over my head

==============

Postmodern

I don't care who or why;
I simply enjoy it.
I stand on a stone slab;
Someone pours water over my head.

===============

Beat

On a stone slab
I simply stand
While water pours
By another hand

Over my head.

===============

Feminist

The sexless hand
Of one who pours water
Serves the bather

===============

Symbolist

Water. Can I not see the Jordan?
Can I not feel the history?
Am I not reminded of my place?
Here, where bathers come singly and in pairs,
One lifts a scoop of water
And pours it on the head of another.

7-11-2001 23:02

Heather - I'll send it back to Howard after I'm done reading it but I'd need an address to send it to. :) I can't wait till I leave to visit Cassandra though - 27 days and counting. :)

Allein Allein's World 7-11-2001 23:01

**Teekay**

A bather, I stand on a stone slab while water pours over my head by another hand.

There, now it's not passive.

Teekay 7-11-2001 21:53

**Teekay**

Howdy Dudes,

VIV: I only admitted to loving Oprah, not her show, but as you've not seen Jerry Springer or Ricky Lake you wouldn't realize that her show isn't the sleaze fest theirs are, though I do agree they are a bit on the boring side.
P.S. Ricky Lake's a woman. (Or an incredibly bad cross dressser .)
I did love Donahue (not the show - just the guy), but sadly he no longer graces the television screen o'er this way.

You were lying about the lizard???????
You know I didn't think he really turned into a lifeguard (just making sure you know), but I did think it may have done something interesting so that it would look like that.
I feel so foolish
-and gullible.
-and cheated somehow.
;-)

Yeah, and I know by your last sentence you're just trying to get me curious agian, but this time girly, I'm not biting.

MARK: Yes, exactly. :-)

JERRY: Back in medieval times it was thought that a person suffering from mental disorders did so because they had too much of some element in their body. I think they were phlegm, blood, water and I can't think of the other so I'm guessing air.
Strange how far we've come in such a little while.
Wether it all be progress though is another matter.

GARIESS: Bless you for your concern, but I sorted out my problem.
I was getting too hung up on writing for other people and so I just decided to force myself to continue on with it and to write at least a page more and as I'd released the pressure I'd put myself under, I just wrote what I was happy with .
(Makes much more sense in my head)
I ended up with 3 more pages. It could've been more but terrible toddler was jumping on my back and making it difficult to write.
I only hope that what I like is what other people like.

A bather, I stand on a stone slab while water is poured over my head by another hand.

I dunno. Is this right. It's not plural. It's not gender specific, it's not passive voiced and I don't think it's too stupid sounding.

DEBRA: Thankyou so much. And so are you :-)

HEATHER: Yep, that woman sure do need Oprah.
When you spoke of thumbs in toasters I thought maybe you were going for the DIY shock therapy.
Seriously though, I don't know what I'd do. I hate confrontation sooooo much. I'd probably pretend I wasn't home every time I saw her coming, and if things got too bad I'd prefer to move (somewhere sunny and beachy) rather than tell her off.
I'm such a wimp.

HOWARD: Gee, that was rather sudden - for me anyway. Ah well, it could be a blessing and as it's a done deal, I guess there's not a lot to do, but to make the best of it and start writing that international best seller. Or finish writing it.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))) to you, just in case you need them.

ROSEMARY: Trailer trash roots showing. Hahahahhahahahha You go girl!!!!

JERRY: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) to you too.

TINA: Hi, I was wondering where you'd got to.
Any takers on TINA's book 'Contact'? It's sci-fi so it probably won't interest everyone.

Okay, I'm outa here.
I can hear someone knocking at the door, so I'm going to hide now :-D

Teekay 7-11-2001 21:38

Sorry if I seem a bit off today, seems the Federal Government has decided that I make entirely to much money on Social Security Disability, so they have attached one third to pay for the house they took away from me while I fought them for the social security. This combined with my wife's inability to work any longer due to the injury that her surgery failed to fix has streatched our financial situation so far that there seems only one fix. I will begin seeking an attorney tomorow.

Jerry 7-11-2001 20:40

*Tina*

Howdy all!

Wow, go away for a few days and the NB overflows!

Viv, checked out the website of your home area. I'll have to take more time to go over it, but it looks so lovely! Just more people than I'm comfortable with.

Rosemary, those lakes aren't our main water source. We go on water restrictions because we use water from the mountain watersheds, and the reserves start drying up. We don't take much from the lakes, because of environmental factors. This part of BC is actually semi-arid, and in the south part of our valley, there is actually a desert. We are dry! A good spin-off is that the water availability tends to restrict the population growth of the area.

Hallee, more (((HUGS)))
Howard, you too (((HUGS)))

About movie critics.... nyah nyah nyah! (me thumbing my nose at them) I only agree with critics about 50% of the time. I mean, critics praised the movie 'English Patient' until it won Academy Awards, and that movie stank! And the critics hated many of my favourites, including 'Gaticca' and 'Contact'. I'm doing my best to maintain this attitude, so that I can ignore those critics who try to tear me and my writing down. I read book reviews in the newspaper, and they are my main source of discouragement! I put very little faith or confidence or trust in paid critics.

***Official Notice***
BIG party at Tina's house on August 25! My 30th b-day, and it will be a big deal! I plan to demolish the myth of the hated 30th birthday. I shall not age! I shall not be discouraged! I shall continue to pounce on life and not let go! I shall let the horse take the bit in her mouth and run far and fast! This is MY Decade!
***End Notice***

Okay enough ranting. Must go get groceries. I don't know what my hubby eats while I'm gone, but he doesn't seem to bring food into the house! (sigh)
TTFN

Tina 7-11-2001 20:20

Heather:

I don't think I'm out on a limb when I say you just wrote your shortie on treachery a day early.

Bravo!

Debra 7-11-2001 19:39

Garris - if you don't like reading my comments, the feel completely free to skip right over them, and I can do the same for you. Those political issues are always around, and they are issues that are talked about daily in this nation. Just because you would take away guns from anyone who you feel shouldn't have them, and you would support Rosie, or Operah or the rest, then more power to you. But don't presume to tell me what I can or cannot talk about in this form, that isn't what this forum is all about.

Jerry 7-11-2001 17:21

Oh - sorry guys, to be going on and on about this...

but I did want to say that even when I got peeved with this friend, I didn't lose my cool. I just simply said no. I wasn't sure my firm 'No' would work, since she automatically went on in a telemarketer bent, but I just said the same firmly put 'no' after she became exhausted from her speil and that was it. I could tell by the low drift in her voice that she knew she couldn't talk me into it.
I am usually very giving, etc., but there is a certain point that, once reached, I just won't budge. Otherwise I'd be bent until broken. Ain't happenin'.

Heather 7-11-2001 16:14

HOWARD! I'm really sorry to hear that. Like others have already said before me, lay back, enjoy it if you can. I'm happy to hear you'll have more writing time - that's an excellent thing!

Oh - Allein - I think it was you? You mentioned you were going to go and visit Cassandra. I have already read 'The Anything Box' and I was the one who sent it to her to read next. She hasn't returned it to Howard or forwarded it, and it's such a precious (and out of print) book that I was hoping she'd see my message and mail it off! BUT thank you so much for the offer! Perhaps you could secure the book for Howard?

Heather 7-11-2001 15:57

I did lay down the law. However, it took me a while - everyone arrived and basically, to use Rosemary's words, 'bum rushed' the house. In two seconds there was a kid in every room, grabbing at something. Let's put it this way: One 'me' and six members of her family. I have to be just as watchful with the woman 'in question' as I do with her kids. She's roaming through my corner display cabinet when I'm in the next room disciplining her kids. The husband was outside most of the time, chatting it up with my husband. So I sent the kids outside. (HA HA)
It's not that I think this woman is a child herself - she just happens to be rather gimme gimme when it comes to other people's valuables. She's not a theif, but a girping con artist. Vulture about summed it up. She sits on her porch and waits until she sees the neighbours come home and then dives in. We used to live a little way down the street and on the other side from them. It gets very difficult grappling up the side of your house in Ninja gear just to get in unnoticed. Finally, because I did put up with it too long, I cracked down and laid down the law with her. Since we've moved and haven't seen them much in the two years, I've had to re-establish the laws!

For instance: We went to the fireworks for Canada Day, and their family came along too. We live within walking distance, and parking is near impossible, so they parked at our house and walked over with us. Just before we left, the mother asks me for a warmer jacket to borrow. I cringed. It was chilly out. I have a tonne of coats in my closet. She knows it. I let her wear one that I haven't worn in a long time, and one I figured she wouldn't like. She hounded me to give it to her all night.
I was about ready to punch her in the jaw.

But I didn't.

Anyway, thanks everyone. I know I had to spell it out to that family. They just have no concept of manners at other people's houses. Especially when the house they live in is beyond frightening, the kids seem to be astonished and roam around our place as if they're visiting the Roman Colloseum[sp]. It's what they consider a 'hands on' museum.
Don't get me wrong, the house is kid-proofed - but for my kids, not hers. My children have an incredible amount of respect for our rules. They also don't have the tendency to jump on furniture, or swing from draperies. Therefore I have never had to establish rules about that sort of thing!

It doesn't matter much now anyhow - she hasn't called me back since I finally got peeved and said enough was enough.

Heather 7-11-2001 15:52

Heather,
Just slap them.

Jerry,
Your political inclination is showing. It’s very tiresome. These weary old soapbox issues like gun control, the liberal press, the liberal media, etc. are so worm out that there is no way to sneak up on people with them any more, ie via Rosie. Peddling Rush Limbaugh won’t do it either. He is plateaud at preaching to his own choir. We already know you are one of his tenor section.

Howard,
Don’t take it lying down. Unless, of course, your disability requires you to lie down.

Hi, Hallee.

Later,

GS

gariess 7-11-2001 15:04

HOWARD,
Lean back and enjoy the time off, then sue the socks off them for laying off a disabled person. My trailer trash roots showing.

HEATHER,
Your writing gives the impression of a no-nonsense, rule enforceing lady. Pretend you're writing and give the whole group the bums rush. Some people can't accept help without taking advantage of a nice person.

HALLEE,
Always good to see you posting.

Bye

Rosemary 7-11-2001 14:42

Food raiders. My brother's friends are all teenage boys, so my mom had to put up with them raiding the pantry and the kitchen until she finally made a rule that they could choose one thing they wanted to eat and she'd buy it for them. I hardly ever have friends come over but if I do we usually just drink soda or something.

Allein Allein's World 7-11-2001 14:34

Rachael:

Craping a brick sounds loud and painful. I'm sure everyone would stop immediately what they were doing to annoy you.

Just in case you were wondering!

Debra 7-11-2001 14:30

HEATHER: Sounds like you're being too nice. You'll really regret not being firm with her or her kids if the bowl ends up getting broken. I'd establish rules and make sure they were followed. Kids know when and where they can get away with disruptive behavior - and if someone other than their parent puts their foot down, they'll usually listen.

Hallee 7-11-2001 14:17

Awww, Howard - so sorry.

Hallee 7-11-2001 14:15

Woops! I just got laid off - last day is Friday. Was gonna be on disability anyway. Makes life interesting. Will have lots of time to write now I guess...

howard 7-11-2001 14:05

*Rachel*

Heather - I would crap a brick if somebody started to "troll" in my fridge. I have had people try, I just close the fridge, and tell them very clearly how things run in my house. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. I do not offer options. I lay out what I have made avaliable, if they do not like it, then then they will just need to hope that they do like the next food selection. I have five children, four of whom have very active social lives, which means that my house is full. I can no and will not get into the lot of them crashing through things. You can tell them nicely. I'm sure of it. I have never had to raise my voice, or freak out over the food thing. I just tell people as soon as I see something that will not go in my house. I explain that while they are in my house they will need to go by my rules. Most kids are good with that. I have had some pretty rough and tough characters in my home, yet they have no issue with my rules. They tell me it is because I explain myself and my reasons. They also say that I make good snacks so they don't care. One thing I had to learn was not to cut up food for the older children. I remember the first time that I cut up food for a 15 year old boy. He just watched with so much fascination and then asked if that plate was for him, the one with the fruit and cookies shaped into happy faces. I almost died when I realized what I had done. He thought it was kind of cool. My kids all still think it is pretty cool, but they also think it is time for me to step off with the mommy plate presentations for snack. I have to respect that. My kids are growing up. Ah well, soon I will get to do food art for Sebastian (grins and laughter).

I'll send you a hug.

Take care you.

Rachel

7-11-2001 13:48

Heather:

I feel your pain. I really do. I think since you are a writer and use words so nicely you should be able to fabricate a nice way to tell them to keep their grubby mits off your nice things full of food.

I would start with, "it's always time to renegotiate and now it's time again, and if they want something to ask first."

Dont' wait until you blow your stack and then you look like the awful person. That's just lose lose.

Debra 7-11-2001 13:05

Teekay - you mentioned Oprah - the woman in question does not have a TV to watch it on. Her husband is a very religious type (of what persuasion, I won't tell)... and he doesn't allow televisions in the house. He thinks commercials are evil, and much of the programming as well. (Hey, maybe they are, but we adults use our discretion. He figures his wife doesn't HAVE any discretion)
So she can't watch Oprah! I wish she could. It might actually help her. God knows it must help somebody; otherwise it wouldn't have the time-slot it does. And Oprah would be a movie actress instead. If you want to know why Oprah is so smug, check her bank balance.

Viv - family of six, actually, plus my family of four. Feeding them? Yikes. Her boys are continually trolling in my fridge and it pisses me off that she doesn't tell them it's rude! (that's AFTER I've already fed everyone) Not to mention my lovely lead crystal and pewter fruit bowl, practically spilling over with fruit that I stock up on for my kids. It's not that I mind so much if it gets eaten, but her kids are constantly grabbing at it, and are very rough with the bowl. It is very delicate. The pewter is the base that the (very thin crystal) bowl sits in, but they are not actually attached. My kids are perfectly aware that they must be absolutely careful with it - it was a wedding gift!
But I can't police the bowl exclusively, since suddenly there are 6 kids instead of 2, traipsing around the house, raiding the kitchen, and running through my flower beds. Mind you, there were only 4 kids (hers) doing any damage. I also find it difficult to discipline other people's kids when the parents just sit there and expect that lack of good behavior. It's not that I yell at my own children - but I expect them to be civilized and decent. Is that too much to ask? I hope not. I really, profusely hope not.

The reason she expects the counseling? Oh, well, you know I was a nurse. I automatically qualify for the job of psychiatrist, don't you know? Not that I ever worked at the Homewood.
Perhaps I could jam her thumbs in my toaster and then I'd have a wound I know what to do with. (Kidding)

Actually, I did take a healthy share of psychology, so I do know what to say, how to listen, and what to suggest; however, I do not agree with the 19 pills a day she is prescribed. There's no way on earth anyone could function on that many pills because of the type of pills they are.

I have a friend with AIDS, who must take more pills a day than 19, but his pills do not alter his sense of reality, nor do they placate his moods. That, my friends, is the difference.

I guess you could liken it to Elvis' drug usage: You take uppers to wake up, and downers to go to sleep. Pretty soon you have to take the uppers to get up at all, and the downers to sleep after all those uppers. Then, they start losing effectiveness. You take more to get the same old effect. Eventually, you try anything, and in any amount.

With this woman, she takes several things for depression, but at the same time she takes pills for her anxiety and nervous twitching, so in essence, the first crop of pills counter-acts the second crop, and she still feels cruddy. Then she has to deal with the side-effects of all the first two loads of pills, so takes more pills for that. There are always side-effects!
I have insisted for years that she would be wise indeed to go into the Homewood and clean herself out. NO pills. Nothing for a few weeks, to get her system cleaned right out - and she'd be in the psychiatric hospital already in case she needs other help/support. THEN and only then, she could be evaluated and if she does need one or two pills, then I suppose it's better than 19. But the way she is? 'Askin' fer trouble, friend, just asking fer it'. Actually, she's already met trouble head on. Anyway, that's my take on the issue.

And yes, shock therapy! Supposedly, the Homewood is one of the few places around that still employs the 'Frank ZAPPA' machine. I find it unethical and completely moronic to still be using that sort of contraption on people's minds.
I'm tellin' you, it's not a happy thought. At the very least, the patient is put under with anaesthesia. Still...

Well, I think I've writ my quota of post today. I know I've forgotten to address a pile of comments and so forth, but I'm ALMOST fresh out of responses at the moment.

Thanks, Americo, for your beautiful words regarding the new project.

Heather 7-11-2001 11:49

Teekay:

In case I haven't told you in a while, you're a ray of sunshine.

Thanks!

Debra 7-11-2001 11:19

Operah? How can a woman who's mother couldn't even spell opera right have anything worthwhile to say. I once nearly got kicked out of college when one of the students I was tutoring approached me in the dining hall and, trying to convince me of her point in a legal document she was working on quoted Operah. My reply will not be quoted here, but suffice to say she learned that Operah was not a legal source that the courts would consider when reading a brief.

I used to enjoy watching Rosie, she was funny until she began her anti-gun campaign, then showed herself a typical liberal two faced idiot by insisting her body guard be armed at all times.

Now Sally Jesse Raphael - there was a talk show host, well she was about fifteen years ago when she began her career on radio. Now she has degraded herself for the camera and become just another media voice amongst many who's hope of changing the world sounds like talking points for the democratic party.

Wanna listen to a talk show, Rush is the best, in fact the only one I like listening to. Now I do enjoy watching Geraldo Riviera, not that I agree with anything he says, but if you watch his show carefully, you will see that whatever he says on his show, is what the liberals in congress will be saying the next day. I think he gets daily "talking points" lists from the Democratic party. This has been the case since Clinton was in office, and during the last presidential election, it was great fun to watch him, then tune in the next morning and see the liberals on TV saying exactly the same thing, using exactly the same words.

Well must be off and try to remember those words I wrote last week, I know I had a great ghost story going in a grove of Aspen trees.

Jerry 7-11-2001 10:42

Teekay,

You are a devil. I know you will perservere. On the one hand you have washing dishes, and on the other, writing. I know which hand fills up first for me. Tell us your sticking points, maybe we can help. Is it plot, character development, story fluency, continuity?

Jerry,
I know your pain. I have been bitten so, often. Just when I think I have it covered it gets me some other way.

Here is an exercise for all you modern minds. Rewrite the sentence below so that it is not either gender specific, plural, in the passive voice or stupid sounding.

A bather stands on a stone slab while servants pour water over him.

Mark,
What Oprah did in Beaumont is consistent with the sense she has of herself as the new messiah for liberal enlightened women. Anything Rosie does is consistent with her sense of herself as the new messiah for unenlightened, unliberated working class women. She likes her sheep pre-shorn. In this way Oprah and Rosie don’t compete for the same livestock.

Later,
GS

7-11-2001 2:17

Shock therapy - I understand now they also use chemical shock, and it seems to work in some cases. I had an uncle who used to go off the deep end about every three or four years. We all knew about it as he became very violent. Seems my dad used to be able to talk him down enough for the sheriff to take him away for his shock treatment. It was very scary, the fellow would show phonomonal strength, once he took one of those old coal space heaters and threw it at his wife. Luckily it was summer and there was no fire in it, but it made one hell of a hole in the wall when he missed. That stove had to weigh over two hundred pounds, and he tossed it like it was a pillow. But as Mark said, once he underwent the shock treatements for a couple weeks, he was just fine. One of his son's now sufferes the same fate, but modern medicine thinks they can treat him with drugs. Guess it works ok from what I have heard, he is doing fine out in California, but when he comes home for a visit, he goes off again and needs to go for treatment. He is a very nice person, a fine worker when all is ok with him, just as his father was.

I have decided that I will indeed backup, it is so easy with my computers networked, just save it to a network drive too, oh and I have an LS120 drive on this computer so I could back up on it too, just lazy I guess. Never to old to learn you know.

Jerry 7-11-2001 0:14

Allein,

I'm glad that you got the book (smiles).

Take care you.

Rachel

Rachel 7-10-2001 23:22

^*Mark*^

Well, I _was_ going to just read a while then turn in. Kept reading and reading, lots of stuff here tonight simply got my juices flowing. Lemmeseenow, 2 B real writerly I need a thing called (prolly) a metaphor. Youse guys are like a shot of nasal spray, now I'm really flowing. Yeah, that's the stuff.

JERRY -- ouch. Well, on to the next project, eh?

T.K. -- One day in 1988 Oprah came to Beaumont, rented out the college auditorium, and did a show for the town. She charged no admission, brought no cameras, and made no publicity gimmicks of the appearance. Beaumont was the first city in the U.S. make her show the #1 program on TV for the region. She came simply to see what Beaumont was like and to say thanks for the support. For a while she fell into the trap of doing shows just like all the other daytime talk jocks. I think her choice to do shows with a positive message is admirable.

On not being able to write, or not having confidence: Well, can you shear sheep?

Oh, Mercury, god of thieves,
Grant me a little tobacconist's shop
Where I can linger in the smells
Of Virginia, Cavendish, and Turkish tobacco.

Mercury, grant me a little tobacconist's shop
With shiny glass displays
Where the hookers come to preen and primp
And prepare themselves for the street outside.

Grant me, Mercury, this little shop
Or any other. Just something
Save this damned profession of writing
Where I must use my brain all the time. apologies to Ezra Pound

RANDALL -- You need to drop your stories into a big envelope and mail 'em to Hollywood

GS -- Yes shock therapy still exists. It is less severe than it used to be, it's a kinder, gentler shock treatment. I, also, was shocked to hear about it, but I have seen the results of treatment (and later the lack of treatment). I'll say it made a real difference in two women's lives here.

I'm with you on Rosie O'Donnell.

HooBoy -- It's later than I'd like it 2b. ttfn. nitenite. ciao.

More Later

Mark 7-10-2001 23:00

Weird, that posted twice. If the Mastersmeitnerium@hotmail doesn't work, just let me know or I'll let you know. Another way is to stick them on your website and we can access them from there. I'm glad that they are Disney tunes but won't they just translate back pretty directly...no, my daughter says they don't. Hummm, what's going on here. This is interesting.

Viv 7-10-2001 22:29

Allein: YES! My daughter already agreed. Sorry to be slow in seeing your posts and thanks for posting it big. I'm doing the finals week here and finishing up homeschooling my daughter. The paperwork is astronomical and I'm using the notebook for little breaks between work. I post on a notepad but I think I'm missing something when I post because sometimes a section isn't there. My daughter can start translating as soon as she's finished the Iowa Basic Exams which I start next week. It will take her about one week I think. She's new at this ball game.
Giving allowance for the end of the term for her, and testing plus juku vacation, could you allow her until the end of July to finish or is it a hurry up job?

Teekay:
Don't know about Jerry Springer or the other guy; we don't get them here. Oprah is trite.
I'm glad she did well with her life, but her show is filled with "women's magazine problems".
Same stuff, over and over. I'd like to get all excited about it, but I hate anything that smacks
of formula. It's too easy, too positive and reminds me of the description of media in Orwells
1984. Yell all you like but she seems too "good for you" to make me want to watch. It's like
eating Grapenuts or Fruit and Fiber cereal. There are just some things that I don't like and
Oprah is one. She makes me want to go get a big glass of wine and a cigarette.

On the lizards and the lifeguards...forget it. I was responding to your post of 7/8/2001
and 7/9/2001. It started as just a little offering to help you with depression. If it doesn't help,
don't take it. What is great is that in helping you I found something that worked for me. It's in
progress and enjoyable.

Viv 7-10-2001 22:24

Viv - Cool. Just inform us when you're done and I'll post them here unless I can get your e-mail address which would be great. Since they are Disney Songs I doubt the lyrics are bad. One I've translated about halfway and then got to a paragraph that the way I translated it makes no sense at all. The other I can't find most of the words in my dictionary, but I may have copied it wrong, so if there's a mistake maybe your daughter will catch it. Thanks. You're both great. :)

Allein Allein's World 7-10-2001 22:23

Ok, ok, I know I should back up - I do have hard copies of all the stuff I wrote last year, and have some of that stored on my server, it is just the stuff I have been working on this year, the stuff I was actually WORKING on, you know as in wrote that - edited that - going to edit that again - GONE. That stuff.

Jerry 7-10-2001 21:46

**Teekay**

I truly have no idea why there's a big gap under my post, but I'm not deliberately trying to take up space in the notebook.

Teekay 7-10-2001 21:00

**Teekay**

Hi All,

GARIESS: HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHA *GASP* HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA oh my, I must say I found your reptilian post delightfuly cheeky.

JERRY: I am soooooooo sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine that. I always have backed up copies. What is wrong with you?????? You should know to have backed up copies.
Here's a couple of seconds silence in commiseration though.

JERRY: You need to make back up copies, that's what you need.

MEL: Remember 'The Ghost & Mrs. Muir'? I'd like something like that. Complete with housekeeper and cute little dog.
Captain Greig wouldn't be too bad either.

VIV: Please tell me what you're talking about. Why a handsome lifeguard? What does it do? Could you draw a picture or something?
We don't have those lizards this way. We only have things like gheckoes and sleepy lizards and frill necks and GARIESS' type.

My Confession:
I think Oprah is wonderful. I admire her greatly and feel that she has done amazing things with her life.
And at least her talk shows have some enlightment about them, unlike Ricky Lake and Jerry Springer.

No I don't watch these shows (unless I'm having a real funky kind of day), but I have seen them in passing.

ROSEMARY: Actually I think that's a great idea. A kids book based on the animals you have.
The first of which, of course, is 'Toady Dances Down."
Well done MEL.

DEBRA: My advice to you is - don't rush it, these things will come in their own good time.
- I think.
- I hope.
Now, for some advice on the husband front......:-D

ROSEMARY: Sorry, depressing you was not my aim. I just like to know everything and then of course I have to explain myself so....... You see how it happens :-)

Speaking of depressed, that's where I am now.
I'm once again doubting my ability as a writer. Last night I was thinking of other jobs I could do instead and about the only one I could come up with was dishwasher, and I detest dishwashing.
The chapter of my novel I'm at now is just not working properly. Getting it finished is a bit like pulling teeth and it feels like this big black blockade looms in front of me and I'll never get past it.
Does anybody else get put off this easily? Or is it just the domain of wannabe writers?
When things are going swell and the writings flowing well, then life is a beautiful place where the birds are singing and the flowers blooming,
- but when it gets ugly, then everything gets ugly and life becomes dull and washed out and hopeless.
Okay, that's a bit extreme, but it does get a bit shitty.

Going now.

But persevere I shall!!!!!!

Later.

Teekay 7-10-2001 20:57

The edge of the evening to all,

TEEKAY,
Now you've really depressed me. Just 30 more bales sounded like so much less than 73 until you mentioned that we have half as much again to go. Sheesh.

MEL,
Thanks, the visuals are fun. I'm not sure about making a book out of them. Sounds more like cartoons.

Good news and Bad news.
The bad news is that I stepped in a hole while mowing yesterday and hurt my knee. The good news is that there is already a MRI set up for that knee due to ongoing problems.

VISUAL
Disgusted horse chewing on dusty old dry hay while watching us load bales and bales of nice new green hay into the barn.

Bye,

Rosemary 7-10-2001 19:34

I'm engaged to a cat now? Well, I guess stranger things have happened.

Allein Allein's World 7-10-2001 19:15

Jack,

We are about to break a record. This is the longest page in the history of the NB! And it is still working. Well, almost...

Americo 7-10-2001 18:44

Ben,
In November 96 you showed pessimism about your future life and job. Now it's the present. How are things going? BTW: what happened to those fine Notebookers who were writing books in 1996/7/8/9/0... ?

Rhoda,
How's life?

Viv,
Allein asked you to please translate something for her. Allein is Jon's virtual fiancée (not that she accepted him, poor cat). You don't want Jon to interfere, do you?

Howard,
Hope things are all right with you, as far as health is concerned.

Everybody here must finish a book this year. And publish it!

Americo 7-10-2001 18:40

Oh the horror. I'm trying to get my twins into underpants. I have wiped up you know what and you know what for days now. I'm angry and exhausted.

When I look at my husband exhausted and tired and get that look from him I find myself saying, "can I help you."

The treachery for this week's shortie thyeme is when he says, "probably!"

Debra 7-10-2001 14:39

Rosemary: hee hee! Toady Dances Down...sounds like a children's picture book to me! :-) When are you going to take all your cute visuals and turn them into early books for toddlers?! :-) Kids love the animal stories and all you need is a simple plot, like a toad stranded on a birdbath!

Mel 7-10-2001 13:25

Hey there, You guys,

MEL,
Getting down from a duck gave me the most goofy vision of....the toad standing on the edge of the birdbath, underneath stands my doberman, next to him is a goose, then the duck. Some of the ducks are pretty tall so slide a bantey chicken up next to him (unchoked). Now the toad can take stairsteps down to the ground.

Enough sillyness from me,
JERRY,
If you ever get your stories back, please put them on a zip or even just a disk(A:drive) It would be a crime to lose all those great stories. Of course, you could go into the notebook arcives and copy the ones you have posted. Ditto when the Workbook comes back. You take your computers apart too often to risk all that work like that.:-<

I'm off to get my training hat.

Rosemary 7-10-2001 11:46

I can't come up with anything for CNQST because I can't stop thinking "conquistador".

WR= Waddah R'akibum (waddah translates to brilliant)(R'akibum makes me think of ass-kicking)

DTH= Danjuro Tobei Hebi (to me ...juro Tobei sounds like you ought to be)(Hebi translates to serpent)

FMN= Franz Medvedev Narkos (Narkos is obviously narcotics) Merz is a German owned pharmaceutical company you might garner some ideas from

Hope they help jar your creativity, Litter.

Mary 7-10-2001 10:56

VIV - COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME WITH A JAPANESE TRANSLATION FOR A FRIEND? :)

Allein Allein's World 7-10-2001 10:22

Jerry: You sound like you are having the worst nightmare of a day. You definitely have a camping trip coming after a day like that.

Gariess: You are more the type to go out and duel with an electrified toilet seat than walk around with an eyedropper looking for lizards...you sure you want to switch. Anyway, I've got you covered on those toilet seats. I just hope someone outside Japan can understand it. I'll send it to Heather for a test drive.
I very much agree with you about Oprah. I wondered if I was the only person in the world who wanted to just go goose the smile right off her face.

Teekay, I think just a couple drops of cold water does the trick. You don't have to douse the lizard completely. Mine changed immediately. Could be something in our water that does it, stuff tastes like it definitely could change a lizard into a lifeguard. I have no idea why this works. Like most scientific ideas, if it looks neat and is interesting, just remember how to do it again and forget the principle that it's based on. Have fun with it.

I'm sure you've made slime at one time or another; this is just like making slime. Follow the directions, it happens. You really don't have to understand polymer chemistry to do it. Drop the water on the poor little sucker and enjoy the life guard. There's only one problem, I can't get him to change back. It's a pain in the ass because he's stuck this way. Tell me if you have any better luck with yours.

Litter: DTH. In Japanese that's going to be tough to come up with. The Japanese people do not have middle names. Daisuke Hara? That's DH. I'll go through old class lists and see if I find a name that feels good. Every Japanese name has a meaning. (Daisuke means beloved one)

Hallee: I'm not writing either. The only writing time I have, I'm too exhausted to do much more than these posts. I'm thowing posts onto a notepad document as I snatch little peaks at the notebook inbetween all the have to dos. Sometimes I read it for just a second or two during my Business Writing Class when everyone gets down to work and is concentrating on their work. The stuff I write keeps me from screaming dirty words when things go wrong. Too many politics aout the house and husband's job. I try to think of strange things when the pressure gets too high. It's better than yelling what I am thinking at times. I just sort of go off into space and find lizards and such. I post them here because I figure we all can use a lizard now and then.

Heather: Why do some people assume that friendship includes psychiatric counseling , feeding a family of four, coming to the rescue, , and ohhhhhh what a wonderful thing...she's invited you to clean her house as well! Go for it Heather... write up Trechery and Oppression . Sounds as though you've had an ample dose of both.

Viv 7-10-2001 10:16

*Mel*

Hey All - I think the "funk" grabbed me the past several days, still fighting it off...

HOWARD: I finished "Hiero's Journey" Saturday morning. THAT was a GREAT adventure!!! :-) Ready for more Hiero, when you get a chance to send... How's the shoulder? Thanks for the Hector-cherry alert; probably won't get there, my family's not too keen on cherries but maybe fresh ones would tickle their palates.

ROSEMARY: Thanks for kind words re: my posts. I love your visuals!! :-) BTW, doesn't toady know you can't get down from a birdbath? -- You get down from a duck! (Booo... she hears the masses groan.)

TINA: Hope you had a nice trip. :-) Ah, Narnia--one of my favorite childhood haunts as well. Enjoyed the Stevenson poems - thanks for sharing them! :-)

HEATHER: Enjoyed your questionnaire. :-) I also enjoyed "Pay It Forward" (till the ending) - I thought the plot "challenge" was very intriguing, despite the weaknesses of the movie. If everyone in real life could have a pay-it-forward attitude, what a better place our world might be.

TEEKAY: My dream house is by the sea, too. :-) My P* story (if I ever get it done in time) includes the dream house and the coastal setting. Hey, if ya can't live there, write about it anyway! BTW, definitely quarantine any mailed spiders and tissues...better still, "return to sender." heh heh!

RANDALL: GREAT stories!! :-) I DO hope you're putting them all into an autobiographical anthology...?! :-)

MARK: "Would that we could" teach our children better about freedom and its tendency, with too much of it, to lead to the wrong things...

MARY: I love medieval fairs! We have one here in New York State called the Renaissance Fair, weekends in the summer - hope to go this year at the end of August. They are their own little world - a day's escape from the mundane to a world of pure relaxation and fun! I love the amulet bags too - had one till a few beads came loose, sigh. Will have to look around for another.

EVERYONE: Heaps of inspired writing I wish to you today! Chain your muses to your hearts and write it all out! :-)

Mel 7-10-2001 9:12

Litter - OK, I will give your name thing a try, how about:

1) Quinton Chacktaw– I’m going to make this one a US military man. One of the Chief’s of Staff or similar. Black or White – no real preference. (American Indian)

2) Wosaine Rahadaine – Middle Eastern Despot – perhaps a parody on Gadaffi or Arrafat (sp’s?)

3) Fosbert Milton Nastler – European, German or German-Swiss. Fat Cat name suitable for MD or CEO of Multinational Drugs company or the like.

4) Dahan Tho Ho -- Japanese (?) Fanatical Religious Sect Leader or Arms Dealer.

Jerry 7-10-2001 0:49

I NEED CAMPING! CAMPING, I NEED CAMPING!

Jerry 7-9-2001 23:52

(*%(*&(*!@$*&!!!
Ok, now that I got that out of my system. All that I have been working on these past few weeks, all the stories, all the tales, and anything else I happened to write are GONE! Gone in an angry moment, when I typed FORMAT C: /Q!

Well at least the f_____ computer is behaving itself, after two formats and two installs of windows ME, it now behaves itself nicely. If I remember all that I have written, I will try and put it all down again. Oh and that wasn't all, during this HOT SWELTERING DAY, the wife's built-in touch pad on her keyboard quit working, our main computer started randomly re-dialing the internet service provider, then just when it all came togather (remember now this is on a day when the average temp is around 95 and the humidity is right up around 90%) mom called, her insurance agent cancled her insurance, because she has put in to many claims and a different agent was coming over to insure her house, could I come and talk to him. Well I kept control, and left all the computers running on their own, secretly hoping that a thunderstorm would come up and strike the network hub, and KILL the bastards. Mom's house was cool, almost cold her central air pumping nice cool air into all the rooms at a nice steady pace. The clear tube that runs from the condencer in her attic and runs down next to the window looked like a garden hose running the extracted water out on her ever so dry lawn. We arrived at her house five minutes before the fellow was to show up, and began playing pinochle (what else do you do when you are waiting for an insurance salesman?) The clock showed he was a half hour late, then an hour, then two, then at two and a half hours late, he called reporting that he forgot the appointment, but would be there in a half hour. Five munites later he showed. I was having doubts that mom should trust someone who cared so little about being on time, but when he got there, he sounded almost professional. His sales pitch done, he left and we played the "Rubber" match, then left. When I got home, the computers were still running, it took about four munites to fix the wife's, then I began re-installing software on mine. I am still installing, and will be for a couple of days. The advantage of having a twenty gig hard drive.

Just another day in South Dakota. (Excuse the spelling, I haven't found my spell checker CD yet!)

Jerry 7-9-2001 23:50

Sighs. Choking your chickens, dousing your lizards...I can't leave you guys unsupervised for a second!

AMERICO: My writing tends to weaken in the summer, slowly fading for lack of attention. By the time the changing of the leaves starts though, I am ready to nurse it back to health. I guess it is sort of like gardening, there is a definite growing season. The rest of the year is spent tilling soil, fertilizing and stock piling seeds to be planted and raised. Last season's scrap was used to compost or mulch this years crop, just like this year's scrap will do for the next. Nothing ever truly dies; it evolves.

GS: I am truly glad you have returned to us.

HOWARD: Hope you are relatively all right. Hugs.

TEEKAY: Thanks! I think it is pretty safe to say that this is a lesson not soon forgotten.

ROSEMARY: I just love the smell of a clean barn stuffed full of hay, staw and sweet oats. I would have helped you toss bales. :-)

Giddyup

Mary 7-9-2001 23:43

RANDALL

Perhaps I should add a disclaimer.....nah, read at your own risk! :-)

A lady I know recently related she visited some friends up close to Abilene, Texas. She said the largest grasshoppers she had ever seen were on the highway, in the fields and pastures. With a quick measurement using her fingers, the pretty, wide-eyed girl indicated they were about 4" long. Monsters!

I responded with my usual cleverness and charm toward the opposite sex, "Wow! Why didn't you catch a few! They're prime fish bait!"

Grasshoppers are excellent fishing bait in the backwoods of rural Texas. I was shown many years ago a technique to attach a small hook to a grasshopper, using sewing thread, without killing the poor thing. A proficient angler, would then heave, toss or otherwise sail the insect into the middle of a small tank, pond for some of you. The proper grasshopper, matched with proper hook, equaled grasshopper casually floating across a placid tank. No doubt shocked at moisture after living much of his life in VERY dry surroundings, the grasshopper would kick his (or her) legs, thus achieving a modest rate of propulsion.

A large bass settled against a sunken log, resting, after eating a dozen minnows or perch would view the scene above as an affront to his dignity and fishood. (Fish hood? Would that be 2 h's?) Thus confronted with the belly side view of an absurd insect thrashing across HIS tank, the bass would rise leisurely and assault, I say assault, the unlucky victim, who was no doubt enjoying a first cruise. This is a low tech way to wile away the hot summer afternoons...and if the fish aren't biting, on strike or something......my mom once said my brother and I always managed to fall in when fishing slowed.

Now, catching grasshoppers isn't all that easy. One, they have wings, may hop like a ‘roo in heat and two, as freedom loving creations, not inclined to be tied to a fishhook and served up as involuntary fish fodder. Can't say as I blame ‘em. Straw hats are great for catching ‘hoppers, that is after chasing one winged critter across 20 acres of land to the point of complete physical exhaustion. Lots of folks throw rocks, but that negates the "Let the fish kill ‘em doctrine" and turns the poor think into mush besides that.

So, my friends, I am here to enlighten the writing brotherhood. Here is Randall's no fail way to capture grasshoppers, in quantity, with style and drink beer at the same time. All you need is a 1965 Plymouth Sport Fury, big engine, 4 speed trans, a 40 acre sunflower field, a driver, two suckers, I mean "Catchers" and a minnow seine. (Uh, a small mesh net, about 20 feet across 3 feet wide.)

Upon approaching the sunflower field ascertain if there are plenty of grasshoppers in residence. If so, position 2 volunteers or catchers on each front fender of the car. Have one guy hold one end of the seine in the air, the other volunteer, the other end. Clear as mud, huh. Make sure each catcher has a cold beer between his legs, (this promotes stability at high speed.) As not to spook the reclining grasshoppers, gently ease out the clutch, while pressing down the footpedal....everyone scream "CHARGE" and full throttle into the sunflowers!

The effect is startling, however, as to what the grasshopper clan thinks is in question. The Plymouth, 383 cubic inches of American brute horsepower, roars across the level, well, fairly level sunflower field. Sunflowers 6 feet tall explode as the speeding car charges forward and through them. Grasshoppers scrambling to get the hell away from the metal monster careen into the sky, and are consequently netted. The driver, on calm days considered a wild-eyed maniac, leans out the car window whooping and honking the car horn. Hanging out the passenger window a large German Shepard barks furiously. Hundreds of emotionally traumatized grasshoppers are captured in the initial foray. As the red Plymouth clears the field the driver executes a bootleg turn and lurches back across the field for a final pass.

The "Catchers" are spitting yellow sunflower petals and green leaves and dirt... and wildly indignant grasshoppers as they gather in the catch, stashing them in large plastic bags.

"We'll freeze them for later," one catcher boasts.

"Go, go, go," the other whoops washing down the debris in his mouth with a cold Lone Star beer.

The driver stands on the gas pedal and again the Plymouth charges into the field of one sided battle.

Very unfortunately, a game warden happened to be in the vicinity....heard the honking and hollering...and motor racing....and observed a plume of yellow sunflower petals and leaves and dust rising into the still summer sky. Wouldn't you know.....

Seeing a trail of debris, torn and shattered plants, disappearing into the field the diligent officer parks his car, and climbs on the trunk to get a better view. "What in the hell......" Coming rapidly at his position, all too rapidly, a metal monster, belching dust and mowing down sunflowers is headed directly toward him. He observes 2 men sitting on the hood, holding at first glance what appears to be a minnow seine high in the air, bursting with grasshoppers. He locks eyes with one of the men on the fender, notices the guys eyes widened, and mouth open. Too late! Bursting into the edge of the field the Plymouth plows into a jolting slide in a choking cloud of dust and sunflowers and petals and leaves and grasshoppers........and objects that are in motion, tend to remain in motion. One minnow seine, two "Catchers," hundreds of chagrined grasshoppers achieve formation flight, landing in sand and grass burrs at the edge of the game wardens sedan.

I've never seen an employee of the Texas Game and Fish Commission so mad, that is after he got off his ass after falling from the car. He was screaming...."You guys are going to get killed...." "Can't catch grasshoppers like this....." "Drinking beer!" "Get that net away from me!"

Adding to the uproar the Plymouth blew a radiator hose and clouds of billowing steam covered everyone. My brothers dog leaped out of the car, snarling and threatening one and all. Guess he couldn't handle the stress either. Another Fish and Game rep showed up, but no matter how hard they tried there was nothing in the rule book about catching grasshoppers with a car and minnow seine. And believe me they tried.

But mom drew the line at storing grasshoppers in her fridge, so the carp who swim above the dam had a hell of a feast a few days later.

A day in the life :-)

Randall

RANDALL 7-9-2001 23:22

Viv,

I just want to see if I have this straight. You invite me to write something about an electric toilet seat, and you set Teekay a task involving a cold blooded lizard. If this is so, I ask to switch with Teekay. I don't say she should be more comfortable with electrified toilet seats. It's just that I already have a cold blooded lizard. Of course it wasn't always so, It's just that I've aged.

GS

gariess 7-9-2001 23:12

VIV - Can you help me with a translation? Japanese?

RACHEL - I got Shadows today, it's amazing to actually own something you helped write. The pictures of Sebastian were great too - thanks. He's such a cute little guy. :)

Allein Allein's World 7-9-2001 22:47

**gariess*

Heather,
Yes, that word was schmaltzy. Ever wonder where words like that come from? It sounds like an Andy Rooney segment. "Ever wonder what happens to all the socks that never come out of the washing machine? If you’re like me, and you have a drawer full of unmatched socks, what are we expecting to do with them all? If I’m never going to wear those socks again why do I save them? Maybe some day I’ll open a store and sell hand puppets."

Seriously, Heather, it is good that your opinions about the films you like are not subject to influence by the professional appreciators. I miss being able to enjoy the marginally acceptable films I used to see in my younger days (and what side of the margin they fell on was debatable at best.) Those terrible, low budget horror and sci-fi films were fun when I was in my twenties. The bad movies they make today just don’t seem to be fun to watch. I guess I’ll have to ask someone in their twenties.

Mary,
I crack you up? Maybe you should go to the chiropractor’s office.

Americo,
There is something to what you say, my shirt died yesterday, and my neighbor’s chicken is looking pretty bad. Didn’t Teekay say something about thou shalt not choke thy neighbors chicken? Or was that just about choking chickens in general? Don’t choke the general’s chicken? I don’t know, I can’t remember.

Egad! They still do shock therapy? I thought that went the way of the fire hose and the wet sheets.

Teekay,
It was probably watching Oprah that put the poor woman off.
It would do it for me. The only thing worse is watching Rosie O’Donnell. Where in the hell do we get these cultural icons?

Litter,
I seem to recall something about Bell being a Scot. Somehow I still associate him more with "American" culture, but the essence of my diatribe is little diminished by his removal from it. By all means, strike AGB from my post.

Later,

GS

gariess 7-9-2001 22:44

**Teekay**

LITTER: Or maybe Faustmein instead of Freeman. That sounds more German.

Really am going now.

Honest.

Cross my heart.

Ciao.

Teekay 7-9-2001 22:03

**Teekay**

LITTER: Dulthur; Freeman; Wren.
Difficult to think of a US name for CNQST, the only thing that really comes to my mind is something like Conquestro. Perhaps he could be of Spanish decent?
Dulthur's not all that Japanese sounding either unless you use something like Don Tung Ho or some such.

Well that was a lot of fun - thanks. I hope it's of some help :-)

Teekay 7-9-2001 21:56

VIV: But how do they turn into handsome lifeguards????
signed,
more curious than ever.

Teekay 7-9-2001 21:49

**Teekay**

AMERICO: Wow! That is really beautiful.

Teekay 7-9-2001 21:45

Gariess: Hi! I had a lot of fun with your post on dueling vs. dualing toilet seats. It got me started and I couldn't stop. Now two pages later I have something to post on Treachery. It can wait though. It has 777 words. I don't want to be a "space pig" in the notebook. Thanks for the great image! Now, I want to see what you do in a duel with an electric toilet seat. Challenge! Can you write something on Trechery and an electric toilet seat? Shock us!

Teekay: I didn't have time to get into the names of the lizards because Gariess set me off on toilet seats. I will get the name of the lizards who turn into handsome lifeguards when water is dropped on them today. I have to go to the library anyway. If you happen to be in your local library, take some time to see if you find that name, would you please? Sometimes finding the exact Kingdom/phylum/class/order/family/genus/species can be a little tricky. Please remember when you get
your lizard that he is cold blooded.

I also want everyone to know that I am completely bonkers and invite anyone who doesn't feel like being normal today to come over and enjoy a day off. Bring your pens, laptops, paper, and your own bathroom slippers.

Americo: Weak things die in extreme temps. You find more deaths among the old and babies in the heat of the summer and the extreme cold of the winter. You are absolutely right, but what I try to think about is the wonderful feeling of being relaxed, warm, and floating off to sleep. Weak relationships are strained by extremes in temp, so they can die as well.
Best thing to do, keep yourself and the things you love strong.

Rosemary: I'd probably kill myself helping with the hay, but I could feel the prickly dusty itch of the heat as you described it. Nope, Your post was not dull at all. I envy you, but at the same time, I know my body would probably collapse after 5 minutes of that. What
you did was an accomplishment.

Debra: Thanks for the compliment but I found out yesterday they haven't passed that law. The SOFA agreement is under debate. I'm with you, because I'm the kind of person that seems to get entangled in stuff like that. I hope they just leave it as it is until I'm out of here. I think though, change is needed. It's just very tricky to decide what and how to change it so that no one who isn't guilty gets hurt. I think maybe they need to change traffic laws at the same time.

Back to work. Thank you Gariess Teekay Mary and Jack. I took an unexpected break to write that toilet trechery shortie, and now I'm off to work thinking about my lizardy lifeguard's names. This is going to be fun. I wonder if I should check out the cigarette machine to see if there are any good names in there???? Kingdom/phylum/class/or.......

May you all take pleasant flights of fantasy amidst the concentration of the day!

Viv 7-9-2001 21:35

Heather,

Details about "Saints and Sinners"? A writer only needs an idea to turn the wheels of imagination. You'll just have a title and a list of the sins and the virtues to refresh you memory. The project consists of trying to discover yourself and tell the amazing news in your style.

What's your style? Your style probably lies hidden in your predominant defects or in your best qualities (or in a rich mixture of both of them). Your style is your unique way of looking inside yourself and finding there the way mankind breathes.

What methods shall you use? Old writers (i. e. everybody before you awoke) used naked models, that's to say, characters to convey illusions. That's still a good way, at least before you discover something better. But avoid the notorious "show not tell" technique of the bad creative writing courses and start expressing feelings and describing things without fear. After you find the joy of singing with your own voice (don't sing too loud), play the words (not with words, that makes bad music). Play the words like a musician plays the piano. Who knows if, in the process, you'll find out that what's beautiful in a story is the way it is written and the lesson it refuses to teach? Be subtle, but not clever, be intelligent but leave the place of honor to the reader's mind. As a writer you are just a pathfinder, readers and time the empire-builders.

Americo 7-9-2001 21:21

714Kb and rising -- ouch!

7-9-2001 21:07

Hi All!

Still recovering files and settings after the ‘big reinstallation of 2001’. Some of my backed-up email folders are proving a bit stubborn and I only got my address book back today…

MARY – got the mail. Ta very muchly – I’ll thank you properly soon.

MARK – re the 4 pages on a page, book format thingy – I got a program called ‘Blue Squirrel ClickBook, with my latest software bundle – does just what you were talking about and integrates into all the usual Biggies like MS Word, Corel, Lotus, Adobe and a whole host of others. You can set up for 2, 3, 4, 6 or 8 pages on one, back and front with all sorts of bells, whistles and formatting options. I use it to see how I look in print as well – seems nearer the finished thing to set it up like that.

GARIESS – I think you’ll find that Alexander Graham Bell was Scots.

HEATHER – I have Adams’ ‘The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul’ sitting on a bookshelf not 3 feet from my right elbow. Wonderful Book, especially the bit where Toe-Rag super-glues the Norse God of Thunder to the floor. Thoroughly recommended!

Finally got back to some productive writing. (After a looooong apathetic hiatus.)
Could do with the teensiest modicum of assistance with some names. What I need are names that fit with 4 sets of letters and brief descriptions. If I do this myself, knowing what I aim to do with the names I fear that my focus will be too narrow. I’m sure that some among you will realise the significance of the sets of letters, relatively quickly.

Here goes: (all are male but worry not, ladies, main protagonist is female…)

1) CNQST – I’m going to make this one a US military man. One of the Chief’s of Staff or similar. Black or White – no real preference.

2) WR – Middle Eastern Despot – perhaps a parody on Gadaffi or Arrafat (sp’s?)

3) FMN – European, German or German-Swiss. Fat Cat name suitable for MD or CEO of Multinational Drugs company or the like.

4) DTH -- Japanese (?) Fanatical Religious Sect Leader or Arms Dealer.

Thinking caps on people. All contributions appreciated. Correct spellings of bona-fide names doubly appreciated.

Ciao for now

Litter 7-9-2001 20:57

**Teekay**

Hi y'all,

GARIESS: I suspect those 17 favourable votes were given either by persons in the 14 - 17 age group, or persons of that mental age, and don't be offended any of you 14 - 17 year olds out there, because my girls LOVED it.
They kept getting upset with me when I got to the stage in the movie where I realized it wasn't going anywhere, but down (and fast) and decided to make up my own lines which was a heck of a lot more fun.

ROSEMARY: I was just curious as to how much you loaded up the first time, because when you said you only needed 30 more it seeemed like you must have loaded up hundreds, but really, you've still got almost another half to go. Gee, sorry about that, that's sounds a bit depressing :-$
This is a long and boring explanation I know.

MARY: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) 2 U.
Oh you poor thing, and you were so looking forward to doing this.
Chalk it up to a lesson learnt, an experience lived through, and remember, never, ever, never do it again :-).

AMERICO: I'm sure there's a lot more to that question that what there seems to be. Therefore, I shall just shrug my shoulders and say "Dunno."

HEATHER: Cripes! That woman sounds like she could do with watching a couple of thousand episodes of Oprah.

Bah humbug, I did it again. I chose to work on my (fanfare please) "??NOVEL????" before going to sleep and therefore spent yet another restless night with all the characters popping in and out of my head and making it bloody well impossible to get a decent nights sleep.
Oh deary me, please don't make it that I have to get up at 4 am in order to get anything done with it. ~shudder~

Going.

Teekay 7-9-2001 20:41

HEATHER: Still 10! :)

I'm seriously lurking all...I'm barely skimming the posts. Sorry about that. Been extremely busy. And a little tired. I'm not even writing right now. I don't really have a block - I just don't feel like it. All this moving, not moving, moving, puppies, kittens, vbs, firing my secretary and losing a friend, my friends and their babies, my sister and hers...so much on me right now.

Hopefully I'll be motivated soon.

Time to do the dishes!

Hallee 7-9-2001 20:00

And though she would make an interesting character, with tonnes of material to choose from, I find it exhausting to contemplate.

Perhaps we could have a shortie night some thursday about oppression. Then again, maybe not.

I have other friends who are bi-polar to varying degrees, and I do not find it exhausting at all to cheer them up, or listen to them when they need me.

I had finally had enough of this woman's draining capabilities last Tuesday. She called, asking that I go over the next morning to 'help her around the house'. This is one of the major reasons to NOT tell people I clean for a living. They expect me to somehow have the ability to not only snap my fingers and erase months of dirty laundry and caked on food in the sink; but that I'll somehow magically reduce their workload forever, with no pay. I am a good friend, but not that good. I also have my own pigpen to (ha ha ha) clean. Actually, it's very clean. Just untidy today. The kids have to clean up their toys every night before bed, but it's not bedtime yet. I can tell by the pulling of hair and the screaming from outside.

Must be the sprinkler yelling like that.

Perhaps I will summon up some writing energy tonight and continue with more on my novel. I DO know where my next few scenes will go, and what I want to happen, etc. And, in fact, I think chatting here in the NB (mind you, I am still talking to myself until there are more posts!)
has given me a bit of a boost. Imagine that!

Ah, sigh. Let your fingers do the talking. Therapy, therapy. I may be in need of some desperate therapy.

(kidding)

(well, maybe I'm not)

Litter, Mary, I indeed feel your pain - at least some of it. My fingers have been swollen for two days and typing is finally not such a chore today. I don't know if it's the weather (usually is) or the moving of a lot of heavy furniture over the weekend, but my rings were too tight to wear these last 48 hrs. Like sausages, my fingers are. ICK. Perhaps it is sympathy pain? How about EMPATHY pain.

Heather 7-9-2001 19:45

Mary: Don't worry about falling behind on reading!
I've let my writing fall behind schedule this week. I seem to have had a hard time shaking the absolute drain on my system from not so much cheering up a friend, but dealing with her and her husband and four kids, and having them stomp through the house all last weekend. My mother aptly put it, when she saw this woman sitting on her porch: "She looks like a vulture!" And, indeed, anything that this woman likes she tries to get the object's owner to give it to her, employing as many interesting yet annoying so-called logistics. Oh, it would fit me better. Oh, it would look so nice on my table... Oh, I think it's my colour, don't you?
She's not wealthy, she's not even got the best in tastes. But she knows something of value when she sees it, or looks for it, or downright invades your space in search of it.
She'd make an interesting character for a novel, but a long one.
I sometimes think she tells people she's depressed in order to gain objects rather than sympathy. The saddest part is that she thinks the object will in some way create a sense of happiness, order, reason for living. Meanwhile she lives in a state of oppression; her escape is the local mental hospital/institution, known hereabouts as 'The Homewood'. Don't get me wrong, this woman does have bi-polar disorder. But the source of her depression is often times her lack of emotional and physical freedom. If you find it 'refreshing' and 'a holiday compared to home' to be locked down into the institution and receive shock therapy, then home must be a prison like no other.

Now, see? I've gone and winded myself right out on you, my friends. For shame.

Heather 7-9-2001 19:31

In response to your question, Americo, yes.
It does seem that a lot of things around here die in the summer. My grass, and my flowers.

Heather 7-9-2001 19:04

Rosemary - you'll get much cheaper rates if you book at least 2 weeks in advance. A return fare for my friend from Florida to Buffalo, NY and back, was about $300, booked three weeks in advance. We didn't book it online, but called the airline's 800 number.

But enough about air fares. Let's talk writing, folks.

Anyone embarking on a challenging project?

Yes, that's right! Americo is planning a project. Give us some details, won't you Jon, Americo? Pussy, perhaps?
We know the title of the new project, but little else!

Still planning to close Phantasium at the end of August; that does leave a fair bit of time for adding stories. I plan on at least one myself. Remember: The stories don't have to be scary. Just about spirits/ghosts, & the like.
This closing date does depend on how long the workbook is 'out of commission', however. Don't worry, Jack, take your time! The more stories, the better. That way, if we have to cut a few, there are still a plethora to choose from.
I will, with Mark's help, edit each story with the author via email; the revised stories can then be emailed back to me. In the edits we may also make suggestions for wording in revision; but it is still up to the author. The final copy of the stories must be approved by each individual in order that they are happy with what will be submitted. Polishing is priority, and so is smiling when it's all done.
That doesn't mean I am not a tough editor!

Chins up and pens hovering...
This week's shortie looks promising!

I dare you all to participate. I've been slack on shortie night myself, these last two weeks. :o<

Better grip myself firmly and pen my way to the page. Ha ha.

I hope puppy number 10 makes it, Hallee!

Heather 7-9-2001 19:02

**Rosemary**
It always seemed to me that more things die in the Winter. The gloomy weather tends to encourage sick things to give up. Maybe the things that die in the summer are more likely to be animals and the winter things are people? My experience anyway.

I was checking airline prices on travelosity.com and the fare from S.A. Tex. to Washington State was $192. You have to change planes in Dallas. So I thought I would check on the prices from Dallas, Tex. to Wa. and it was $435(ish). This didn't make any sense to me. Does anyone here know about those online airline prices? Did I do it wrong?

Oh well, I mowed for about half an hour and the mower ran out of gas. Decided this evening would really be better. It's awfully hot.

Gone again.

Rosemary--again 7-9-2001 14:53

Does anyone here feel that a lot of things die in Summer?

Americo 7-9-2001 14:40

Morning all, normal or not.

TEEKAY,
We loaded 73 bales on that trailer and gave 4 to the guy that helped. I mentioned that we would only need about 30 more to last until next July.(I wasn't really sure about your question) My sister and I unloaded the whole 74 bales ourselves yesterday, (30%me and 60% her. She's 7 yrs. younger and hasn't as much pain. We grit our teeth and keep telling ourselves, "It's good for me. It's good for me.)------What is lucerne? A place or a type of grass? Never heard of it. Our hay is called Coastal Bermuda. We can't buy alfalfa that is grown in Texas or Oklahoma because of somekind of a bug that is supposed to kill the horses if they eat it. Most vet's prefer the coastal anyway.
When my old horse lost most of his teeth, I had to get New Mexico alfalfa for him. The grassy hay was too rough for him. He died about 3 years ago at approx. 35 years of age. That's really old for a horse.

Now that I've bored most of you to death, I'll go decide to mow the yard now or wait until after 7:00pm.
Bye,

Rosemary 7-9-2001 12:47

Hi guys. Haven't been around much lately. I am in the deep end of working on the chiropractor's office. Turns out my sewing machine won't sew the double-thick vinyl I picked out for the tables, so I am reupholstering them by hand. It is killing my fingers and my joints. My wrists are all swollen and puffy. LITTER: I feel terrible that you are in a state worse than mine all the time, because even the smallest tasks like typing this post really HURT! I finished the last one last night and at the end I had to switch to pliers to pull the needle through because my fingers wouldn't hold it anymore. I hope I never see another staple gun as long as I live. My palm feels like it has a stone bruise in the middle of it. This was a much bigger job than I had anticipated and the doctor's wife is a real *itch. I think she is upset that the doctor has me doing it instead of her.

HALLEE: Sorry to hear about the pups that died. I know how terrible I felt when one of the little kittens died. ;-(

GS: You crack me up.

HEATHER: I