Writers Notebook

Archived Messages from July 10th to August 22, 2003

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?

oops. um, i guess we needn't answer that question.

urrummuh, well and healthy we hope.

Mark 8-22-2002 23:01

Carol,
Look up.
Your moon sounds just like our moon.
Pollution in the atmosphere turns it pink/red if it is rising in the dusk. The shallow angle to the surface means that the light from it travels through much more dust etc. than it does when it approaches its zenith, whereupon it turns silvery white.
Ed

Eddie 8-22-2002 16:59

Hi All :)

It's a hazy, humid day today. My computer doesn't like it and neither do I, but I'll work us both anyways. :)

Mary - a very big congratualtions and {{{HUG}}} I will send good wishes that your headaches disappear into the mist. My hubby gets migraines and I have suffered once or twice in the past so I do understand the pain associated with them.

I have a question for any of our sci/fi writers out there -- I've been trying to find a scientific backup for a feature I want on my "world" -- the feature, a moon which goes from white to pink to red and back again. What atmospheric conditions would cause this and how would it affect the planet and lives of its inhabitants (outside of the emotional/religious aspects)? So far I haven't been able to find a site to help me with this question and I'm running out of ideas for keywords/phrases to plug into search engines. My advance thanks for any ideas. :D

I did go the route of doing research all this week. Oh, what wonderful ideas I found! Now its a matter of getting back into the story and filling in all these wonderful ideas. If anyone ever needs it, I found a Shaman site that holds the wisdom power of over 300 animals.

Tina - I just discovered one of my nephews is going to take a tandem jump for his 18th birthday. I'm not sure who is braver, him for wanting to do the jump, or his mother for taking a bunch of his friends with them on the excursion! hehehehe At least from your posts, my anxiety level isn't as high as it would be without it. Thanks for that. :) See the effect of your work? And thank you too for the good vibes, I needed that.

Now, I'd best get back to writing before another day disappears on me.

Be healthy and happy everyone!

Carol 8-22-2002 16:01

ELAINE: You are an inspiration to us all. It's time we picked up our pens and got to it.
Good girl, well done.

Teekay 8-22-2002 1:59

Got the URL wrong on that last post. BTW, in case others did not notice. Tobias Buckell, a past visitor to the Notebook, is up for Hugo Award as part of Tangent Magazine and also a nominee for a John W. Campbell Award. Nice to see others doing well who began visiting here in the past.

Jack Conjose 8-22-2002 1:27

Belated great congratulations, Jerry. Glad to see that our written words are getting themselves out and about and you deserve hearty pats on the back.

Trying to get things together before heading down to Worldcon. That and getting use to my new dry suit. BTW, we were out at Cove 1 about a week ago and got buzzed by a harbor seal and I caught it all on video. If you are interested, I have included it on my Northwest Diving Videos page - http://www.fenwithfins.org/divingvideos.html

Take care everyone and, yes, I will get around to archiving before I leave for California. Take care everyone.

Jack Beslanwitch Conjose 8-22-2002 1:22

Mary - Congrats! (They found out what causes that you know) Just kidding) So happy for you, but sorry to hear of the head pain. My VA Doc told me that the only one she ever heard of taking Toradal (A med I take daily) was one of the VA Patients who take it im for migraines. She said it works great for that too.

May try to get something done for shorty night, I've missed that a bunch, in fact I haven't written much lately, too many computers and not enough time! I've been fixing my sisters, her daughters, my daughters, now my wife's is on the blink, damn things, I should just put linux on all of them, but then I'd have to teach everyone how to run Linux, and that's another pain, but at least Bill Gates wouldn't be giving me migraines. (Well not migraines, but headaches none-the-less.)

Now that we have Mary back, where's Debra?

Jerry Robot surgery 8-22-2002 0:33

Hi All,
MARY: CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooo happy for you. The headaches you describe definitley sound like migraines.

EDDIE: Heard on the news 2 nights ago about how a 30 year old woman was going to be stoned to death under sharia law for having a child out of wedlock.
Apparently the ruling pleases the vast majority of Moslems in Nigeria.
Stoning - imagine it, how totally barbaric is that???? Seems that monsters don't always hide under the cover of darkness and slither away under the glare of observation. Sometimes they name it religion and call it good.

About those people who have had a hard time of it through childhood. I don't imagine that all people who lack conscience come from that background. I'm willing to bet that there are cold blooded murderous who cause harm through sheer sociopathy.

I think I said it right :-D

My view points are fairly diverse.

When I said about how you felt about the girls siply because you knew of the town, again, I wasn't trying to be judgmental, again it was an observation.
My heart broke when James Herriott died. Didn't know him, never met him, had no idea what his favourite colour was and wouldn't know him if I fell over him in the street. James Herriott wasn't even his real name, but he was brought close to me through his work.

Be well all.

Teekay 8-21-2002 22:42

Tina,

Manfred did put on a show on Sunday. We had the Hornet make three passes. It is a beautiful thing to see. The piolt made these very slow passes. It was really something. I think I can turn off just about any sound. I can isolate sounds most of the time. You know, hear what I want to hear. I think it is a skill that you get from growing up in a large family with a lot of loud people. There was also lots of music in my home. I had to learn to tune out extra noise.

Mary,

I hope that your headaches go away. I know that when I was preggers I got some pretty nasty pounders. Most of the time I don't get pain with migrains (spelling)? When I'm preggers I get the pain. Isn't that weird? I wonder why that is. I don't really have to worry about it any more (grins). I don't really plan to carry another child. Then again you never know...

Take care all.

Rachel 8-21-2002 22:20

Hi all!

Jerry, congratulations on getting published!

Mary, contratulations on getting pregnant!

For everyone else, and the world, here's a hat full of good vibes ///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\

And Mel, if you get a chance to look in here, I got your letter/crit. Thanks! Except I'll have to send you my proper snail mail address. That one went to the place I used to work; I used their mail account to send you the hardcopy of shadow since they had business mail rates. E-mail me when you get back on line. As for your crit, I'm thinking much about it. Some very sound observations. Thank you.

Rachel, you can turn off the sound of an F117 screaming overhead? Very cool skill to have. Did the B117 stealth bomber come by on Sunday? It was freaky cool. And what about Manfred in his sailplane? I love Manfred, but he didn't perform on Saturday.

Blue skies!

Tina 8-21-2002 22:14

MARY -- I've heard lots of reasons why people have been absent from the notebook, but this is the best yet! :-)
Congratulations!

howrad 8-21-2002 21:51

MARY!!!

That is fantastic news. I am so happy for you (big hugs). Be sure to let us know when your due date is.

Take care you.

Rachel 8-21-2002 20:58

Hi Guys!!!

I have been trying to catch up on the posts, but it is taking me a while, I have been suffering some of the worst headaches of my life the last few days. You know, the ones that make you worry if something isn't BAD wrong with your brains. I lose all my peripheral vision and get white spots in my field of vision. Freaky.

There is a bit of news I wanted to share with you though! I am expecting a baby! No clue when I am due, but I will hopefully find that out Friday after my ultra-sound, so I will keep you posted. This is really exciting and totally unexpected.

Gotta run for now, but will be back soon.

SHORTIE NIGHT THEME: Malice

Mary 8-21-2002 19:10

MARK -- thanks for the pointer! That is excellent! Does that site post that level of poetry all the time?

howard 8-20-2002 23:20

I know after a sunny post like that you'll be kind of wondering a little at this post, it's going to be a little more... oh how do I put it, mellow? This is a poem I wrote, my sister says it's touching but what do sisters know? Just kidding. She's actually my critic, (in more ways than just writing). Just to explain it a little bit before I post it: it's a poem about a widow who is trying to get over the fact that her husband has died. She is still standing by his gravestone and in her mind she is hearing the last word her husband whispered to her. She answers that word with her own despairing thoughts.

Thoughts of a widow
(whispered) Goodbye...
Why?...
Why must you leave me?
() Goodbye...
No...
Please do not leave me!
() Goodbye...
Please...
I'm begging you to stay.
() Goodbye...
You can't...
I need you to be strong, to stay.
() Goodbye...
Must I...?
Must I stay silent as you're leaving me?
() Goodbye...
No...
My head realizes that you must go. It is only my stubborn heart that is still resisting the fact that you have already said goodbye.
() Goodbye...
Pleas...darling...
Never, never again will I gaze upon your beauty, your face. Let me look at you so that I may always know your wonderful features, every laughter line, all the weaknesses and strengths of you, so that when you are gone forever from my sight, I will still have your imagin inside my heart.
() Goodbye...
So...
So this is heartache... this is what the heartbroken feel... the aching for you when I know that I may no longer have you, touch you, see you, know you, feel you... this is lonliness of the greatest degree known to the human race.
() Goodbye...
Why?
Why must you go and leave me in this broken and perlious world? You loved me when no one else would. You picked me up when I had fallen. You healed me when you saw my infliction. You comforted me when I sobbed hopelessly and helplessly for a release of the anguish I felt...
() Goodbye...
Don't...
Don't leave me. I've no one else left. Who will care for me when I am sick? Who will I care for when they are ill? I have no one and no one will have me. My heart is shattered and the tiny pieces of which si left is enough to cause a pain that overwhelmes me even as I look at you.
() Goodbye...
No...
Please...my sorrow is caused solely by the knowledge that I will never again hear my name uttered from your sweet lips, never again will I be able to look into your beautiful eyes and see the love that is hidden and unhidden behind their brillance. My heart aches jsut to hear one reasurring word from your lips.
() Goodbye...
Why...?
My heart is broken into pieces so small that they are unconcievable to the naked eye. The only way to see my shattered soul is by looking into my eyes and seeing the sorrow that I was unable to hide there. Hope is far away and not within a year's throw. Hope is not the word that inspires the thought of peace and a sense that there is still a future, a tomorrow.
() Goodbye...
Why?
My heart is like a plant withdrawn from the sunlight that is needed for survival. My heart beats in expectation of you walking through the door and my head drops in despair and sorrow when you weren't there.
() Goodbye...
How...?
You were my light, my hope, my life. You held the threads of my heart together as a masterweaver threads together a beautiful tapestry. You made my life be filled with joy and laughter, all of which is now forgotten. You are telling me that I must leave you, that I must say goodbye. All I want to do is stay by your gravestone and pray that I am living in a nightmare and that when I wake up you image will be there, assuring me that everything will be all right. I miss you as I have missed no one and nothing else before in my life. To say that I must bid you farewell is to say that I msut say goodbye to life itself.
() Goodbye...
No...and yes.
Yes, I must say goodbye, the one word that might kill me. But even my death is better then the dreary world of which my life has become. You are gone and no wishing in the world will bring you back to me, even though I wish for it with all the broken pieces of my heart. My soul yearns for you as a crop yearns for water after a drought. Still there is no hope only a conscienceness that urge me to keep moving through this mediocre life of which this life has become. There is thawt urgency that I must survive, must keep going even though the hope has left me and the joy is gone. It has come down to this. I shall always be yours; forever more.
Goodbye.
() Goodbye...
Well that's it and my parents are shoving me off the computer.
Till Niagara Falls!

Elaine 8-20-2002 23:15

Whew! Link below to a knockyersocksoff poem.

JERRY !! CONGRATS !!

Mark kiss 8-20-2002 23:12

CONGRATS to you JERRY!! I just can't wait for the day that i'll be published. By the way with this talk of celebrations, I have my driver's liscense!!!! WHEW! I thought I was going to have to ride the bus to school every morning and afternoon to school. Talking about frost, it feels like we're going to get snow any day now. Just feels like it, the weather forcaster's didn't say anything about it (yet) here in Fridgeria. I want to thank Heather, Jon, Carol (twice) and Randall again. Thank you, there was a lot of well timed and well thought advice of which I needed desperately. It has helped so the advice wasn't misplaced. "All the world's a stage" but all the sight's a story. Well, see ya all in an updraft...(of snow)
Till Niagara Falls!

Elaine 8-20-2002 22:41

Carol - all the editor told me in the email was that she had selected my story for the next issue, I see it's published every other month, and it appears that the next issue will be Sept. Oct. so I assume it should be up in a few weeks. I'll let you know here when it happens, as I assure you I shall be checking to see when it's there daily.

Interesting, the news just reported that the US has had troops in Iraq now for the past 8 months on recon missions, and search and destroy missions. They also tell us that there are terrorists of the El Quida branch who are in Iraq and that they are using Sadam's labs to produce their weapons of terror.

It is on FOX so I tend to believe them. Also good news, the Amber Alert has saved another child in California today. It's rare that I say Attaboy to the press, but ATTABOY guys actually doing something right with all the reporting of missing children. It's about time they drop all the political sex crap and get on with true news, where they can be some help.

Now if they just keep it up...

Thanks everyone for the good words.

Write ON!

Oh I might explain, I used to be known (in college at least) as the "greetings and salutations" guy, however when I came to this notebook TOM (The Old Man) used something close to that, so I never used it, seizing instead on Write ON!

Or was it Goodweed? Could have been, haven't seen either of them around for quite some time. Wonder how their doing, and what about SKS Perry?

Jerry 8-20-2002 22:18

Umm, just a question, where did workbook go and is it coming back?

Laura 8-20-2002 22:10

No, I'm not dead and I will be putting up something soon, I have an idea I'm hashing out and I need some help on it.

Laura

Laura 8-20-2002 22:09

Hi All :)

Congratulations Jerry!!! That's wonderful news. Now do let us know exactly when your story will be put up and ready to read. I'm looking forward to seeing it as I entered this website after the Workbook disappeared. :)

I keep wondering how to comment on this recent discussion. Wondering just what my feelings, thoughts and ideas are. Truthfully, they are too mixed up to make any coherence from. One thing that caught my attention though was how hard it is to really know the mind of some of these, shall we say, oddities? My thoughts went immediately to this past spring when my undiagnosed lupus was acting up. I recall how scared I was of the temper I was experiencing. I do occasionally get upset, even burning mad, at things. But this was so different. It was like there was a cold steel bar running throughout my body where the blood and bones should be. I could feel that coldness in the back of my throat. Hubby could have said "I love you" and I would have wanted to strangle him. It was truly the oddest and most terrifying thing I've every experienced. It was only knowing that this was abnormal to my personality and my faith that kept me from acting on this oddity. Now that I know the cause of it, I will be even better able to handle it if it occurs again. But it does make me wonder .... and now I do have an experience, complete with sensations, to use for my villians. I know, none of this info helps to solve the problems of our world. Just a stray thought that found its way onto the page.

Carol 8-20-2002 14:36

EDDIE -- I agree wholeheartedly that something needs to be done. We've held up our precious freedom of speech (and it is indeed precious) until it's become a perverse god -- controlling and manipulating our society until we have difficulty telling right from wrong.

I believe we're beginning to harvest the fruits of the "good/evil/truth is whatever you believe it to be" philosophy. We as a society have denied the idea of an absolute standard (there's that word again -- maybe we're ready for it now?), until now we're becoming sickened by the evil that we've allowed to expand beyond the bounds of all that's decent.

Our president was derided when he used the "old-fashioned" term "evil-doers" to describe the Taliban, the Al Quaida terrorists, and those who support them. I think he was right on the money -- and the term ought to be expanded to include these monsters who prey on the innocent. We need to recognise that there is indeed evil in this world, and it is not merely a concept, but an active force that seeks to control, overthrow, and destroy all that is good.

We've listened too long to our shrinks, analysts, and crackpot psychologists who try to explain these aberrations away by saying that "The poor murderer, rapist, abuser, molester, thief, cheater, adulterer, whatever, is himslf a victim, and to him these actions are only a backlash against the society that has wronged him." These so-called doctors are suffering from the same delusions as their patients -- how can we expect a cure from them?

I'm currently doing some research, and re-reading a book called Practical Christian Theology, written by Dr. Floyd Barackman, an acquaintance of mine. It covers the major doctrines of the Christian church. I'm into the section on Hamartiology -- the doctrine of sin. That's another old fashioned word/concept that the learned doctors decry. It's awfully hard to read it without mentally seeing a direct correlation with the world around us.

No, it's impossible.

howard 8-20-2002 13:39

Well done Jerry.
It just had to come around some time soon.
<<<<<>>>>>

Teek,
It's more than just knowing the village where the girls lived. I have a stronger connection. More info later, if and when the trial develops. But really, even if it wasn't I would still feel the way I do. It is the culmination of a number of these recent events that move me. And this:
A few weeks ago I was looking for some software on the net and I was directed to a site (by a search engine) that had no relevence to my search. It turned out to be a 'violent sex' 'rape' type site. I thought I could look at this site in an objective way, to 'investigate' what is really out there. I couldn't! The depraved minds of some people out there defy description. I wont describe some of what I saw there before I had to close it down. I almost gave up on the internet. Then I remembered this site and knew that it would be letting the monsters rule my life. I am still here but I have been affected by what I saw and I am now re-considering my views on internet regulation.
ISP's have a huge responsibility which they are ignoring. If they don't do something now then legislation will come and it will be their own fault for not acting. I know that there are countries around the world which will not comply and I have heard all of the arguments about the dificulties of policing the net but - "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".
Somehow we have to get to grips with this problem.
Ed

Eddie 8-20-2002 8:52

JERRY -- Congrats! That was a good story!

Drawing and quartering would be appropriate, but I can think of a five way split that would be even moreso!

howrad 8-20-2002 5:56

JERRY: WHOOOO HOOOOOOOOO TO YOU!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
BTW: About the turning into a cold blooded killer thing, I didn't mean that to come out judgmentally, it was just an observation from your post. I was shaving my legs and the blade fell off the razor for the 5th time, and I was about ready to commit murder myself, though for less noble reasons.

Like I said, as writers we are able to have varying perspectives on life, the earlier one was my removed, clinical observation. I pray to God that I may never have a first hand account and am only left with my imagination as to how I would deal and feel with such a situation.

The reason I had to come back and say this was because I was putting my shoes on my son, and he looked at me with those huge child's eye's and said, "I love you, Mummy." And I thought of the conversation we're having here, and I wondered how much hate a person must have within them to do some of the things they do.

CONGRATS AGAIN JERRY!!! I am soooo happy for you. Now haven't I been telling you for ages??

Teekay 8-20-2002 3:29

RANDALL

Evening all ...

On human predatory monsters ... They have always been with us. From time before time. They will always be with us. Time after time. Humans, so much responsible for all that is good in the world carry an equal amount of related human garbage as well. We cannot possible understand these child rapists and murderers, because we, the good folk, cannot relate to them. Most of us are not predators who prey on young and innocent. Their inner motives and horrific actions are as remote as the back side of the moon to us. You can study them till hell freezes over and still not answer the simplest question ... WHY? In fact there is no answer other than they are a part of the human population and in all probability, sadly, will never be weeded out.

If this seems to be simple reasoning, it is. There has always been a percentage of human monsters within the general population. It is just that as populations increase world wide so do human predators with perceptions of reality beyond our understanding. (9/11 can fall within this category) Add to the expanding growth of human predators ... an active media...and you have the situations that are developing today. Prevention is the only answer and that will be darn hard to achieve. Evil evokes at will, while reaction is after the fact.

How would I do it?

Well, most of these guys have police records regarding child molestation. If within the human population of adult predator and child prey lie percentages of evil intent, then we must increase the odds in our favor. It is folly to allow ANYONE with even one known incident of child molestation to go unrecorded within any population. To that respect we must adopt a well known political scheme to achieve this goal. Best used in the Anita Hill hearings many years ago when she accused a supreme court appointee of sexual misconduct. "The seriousness of the charge..." was valid then and IS still a focus of American politics. Note there may be no facts, no collaboration of the charge, no witnesses, but ... "The seriousness of the charge warrants further investigation." Any investigation, however slim, of the charge of child molestation for a person could be prolonged and prolonged and prolonged.

True, this may violate the "due process" statute to some extent...but then how valuable is the life of a 10 year old girl? Reports of missing children in America are 2,000 a day. We're losing to many of our personal freedoms Randall! Thats right! Now it's time to make the evil doers lose theirs.

Randall

Randall 8-20-2002 0:21

Jerry,

CONGRATS! That is great (big smiles to you).

Rachel 8-20-2002 0:04

Teekay - so good to see you back again, I've missed your posts. Yes, I'm ready to turn into a cold blooded killer to extract retribution. Please not though, that this killing should be done publicly, televised on all channels, on prime time so those who think to harm another will think maybe twice before doing so.

It is right for society to kill those who kill, and anyone who wants to throw religion at me to show it isn't have read only those parts of the bible that they wish to honor.

At any rate on a totally different subject:

I AM BEING PUBLISHED!! Well it's just in an ezine but published none-the-less.

http://www.wilmingtonblues.com/ is putting my Tiger Piss story in their next issue, just got an email from the editor letting me know the same and confirming that I want it published.

Teekay - it's one of the ezine's you pointed me to several weeks ago, I just dug out one of my stories from Americo's project on food, oh so many months (years?) ago, way back when we had a WORKBOOK here to post such things.

I am happy about that.

And thank you Teekay!

Oh and by the way, I was exaggerating a bit when I called for drawing and quartering, in truth, I would be happy to see them get the needle.

I am beginning to change my views on the death penalty, maybe it's age, maybe the exposure to you folks, probably the result of Illinois experience where 13 men who were on death row were found to be innocent, thanks to a law school project that went out and found the real killers in each case. If one state can make so many mistakes, then perhaps we should be a bit less blood thirsty, and way more careful. From what I've heard the conviction of those men can be attributed to some police misdeed, some prosecutor misdeed, and lots of abuse of the prison informants.

At any rate, I am beginning to doubt the use of the death penalty, not because I think it murder, no, I think it a punishment that should be dealt out to one who will kill another. But because it is so final, once a guy's dead it's hard to bring him back and say "sorry bout that."

Anyhow must be off, Law and Order is on for the fifth time tonight, think I'll watch it.

Jerry 8-19-2002 23:47

Hi Tina,

Yes, I did get to the airshow. We were there on Sunday. It was pretty cool. My kids were blown away by the size of some of the craft that they saw. The airshow worked its usual magic on me. That is to say that around half way through I did the lay back, look up and stop hearing the sound of them. When I get tired I tend to turn off what it is that is keeping me awake (grins and laughter). It is really something to look up at the show and hear nothing at all. Talk about selective hearing. Maybe I just decide it has been to loud for too long. I used to live near train tracks. It got to the piont where I didn't even hear them any more. I had to be very careful when I would cross the tracks. I would look with great caution up and down. I had times when the trains were very close. I think they way I decide to hear things is a little odd. I am pleased to hear that you enjoyed your stay in the lowermainland. It is a pretty awsome place to live (big wide smiles). When it socks in for the winter with rain, rain and some rain, then I will dream of living in your neck of the woods. I’ll sit back and think about powder snow and wish for something different. I’m glad the writing bug has taken a chomp out of you (winks). Happy writing/editing to you.

Rachel 8-19-2002 22:54

Hi all;

EDDIE: I agree, Grandparents ought to play a big part in the life of their Grandchild, assuming they're normal (generous boundaries) that is.
((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) to you too.

RHODA and JACK:
There's a guy who has written 3 books about what happened to him, he was rated the third most abused child in America (that survived), but somehow he managed to overcome his past and to get on with his life productively.

I imagine that would be an incredibly difficult thing to do, easier to bury the soul and live by the flesh, which is what I think a lot of people who have had really brutal pasts might do.

I mean, how hard is it for someone to give up cigarettes? Gambling?

Imagine as an abused child, and I'm not talking the mild stuff here, not the normal everyday not listening to your kids when they talk to you, not spending quality time with them, not teaching them values, not teaching them to be a well rounded compassionate human being, nor the next step down, shouting and slapping and telling your kids they're good for nothing.

I mean the big stuff, imagine trying to throw off a whole perspective of yourself as shallow and worthless, Imagine having spent a childhood devoid of love, and somewhere warm to turn? Imagine a childhood where those who ought to have loved you best were those who abused and hurt you, how do you, after years of being told you were nothing, convince yourself that life is valuable? How do you learn to respect yourself and others, how do you come to believe that life is worth living, and that there is a God?

Sure, it's happened, there are people who have overcome amazing odds to come out of the dark, but for everyone that has, there are so very many more that haven't.

The human psyche is a delicate thing take EDDIE for instance, comes across as a normal decent human being,with not too much, if any of a terrible past, and because he knows the village where the two girls came from, is strongly questioning God's motives, maybe even existence.
JERRY also is ready to turn into a blood thirsty murderer, for the sake of retribution.

RHODA:
By this:
There will come a day when there is no more death, no more crime, no more evil. Jesus will return and he will reign.

What does that mean? That heaven will be on earth?

Be well all.

Teekay 8-19-2002 21:15

Howard,
Right on the button!
As parents and grandparents we have a responsibility to see to it that our young are given decent values and standards to live by.
I think I posted some time back about the value of grandparents in society but I don't remember getting a response. It is an important role which MUST be fulfilled.
Ed

Eddie 8-19-2002 19:37

EDDIE -- you're right -- if only people could be basically good, and considerate of others, this would be a much better world to live in. Unfortunately they're not.

Like this afternoon, for instance. There is a stretch of country road near here that's posted 20 mph through a village, next to a playground/swimming pool where there are lots of kids coming and going. The road is narrow, with bushes and trees on both sides. I've seen kids dart out into the road suddenly, as if from nowhere.
This afternoon I was driving through the village, and I slowed to 20 as I usually do. A woman behind me had been tailgating me for some distance (I try to obey the speed limit, or just over it). She blew her horn, impatient to get to wherever she was going. As we passed the last 20 MPH sign I pointed at it, and held up two fingers, indicating the speed limit -- 20. She promptly signalled back that she thought she was entitled to go at least one mile an hour faster! And this in front of two kids in her van who were in kiddie seats, as well as a couple older children. Now what kind of a lesson did those kids learn from their mom?

howard 8-19-2002 16:18

Hi everyone ~ It feels very odd to be interrupting the current sombre mood on the NB to announce my short leave of vacationing absence; however, I won't be here tomorrow to leave this post!

I am taking along a good many of the P* stories to the cottage, and will be editing a pile of them at leisure.

Have a great week, everyone, and hopefully the dark clouds on the horizon will bring only rain; not sorrow as well.

Heather Hemlock Bags 8-19-2002 14:37

Howard,
I understand that view, hence my quick re-post to Rhoda. I do accept (It should be obvious from my stated viepoint) that a lawless society, by this I mean a society that has no formal constitutional laws not an out of control society, can be a good society if everybody remains basicaly decent and considerate to others. However, my experience of the religious view of 'conscience remains the same. I was raised catholic and at one time served on the alter as an alter boy. My memories of that time are filled with the constant reminders and warnings of the fires of hell and purgatory for transgressions of the faith. This is indeed the instillment of the fear of punishment for sins by others, be it peers or diety. So my observation still stands (In a very simplistic manner I know)
I'm sure that everybody who wishes will be able to quote some passage from the bible which will clarify or even disprove this. My concern though, is for the here and now. There has to be a response to this increasing evil and it has to come from the good, no matter how we define the reasons for 'being good'
Not a good response I know, but I have one of those 'innocents?' on my knee and she insists on asking just what EVERY bit of equipment in this office does and she wants to know NOW!
Later

Eddie 8-19-2002 14:18

EDDIE -- The conscience is not a thing regulated by the fear of retribution from other people. The Christian view of the conscience is that it is an innate understanding of what is right or wrong by God's standard.

The Bible describes those who "do not have the law, but by nature do the things contained in the law...which shows the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness..." (Romans 2). In other words everyone knows down inside what is right and what is wrong -- even to the extent that that innate knowledge is compared with the knowledge of the law (what we know as the ten commandments)(), and that knowledge is placed there by the Creator.

It further says that this conscience is not indestructible, but can be overridden by the will (1 Timothy 4:2) and made of no effect. That is what Rhoda described, and what God calls "inexcusable".

howard 8-19-2002 13:18

Rhoda,
Reading my last post back after posting it, it may look as though I was answering you personally and it read somewhat harshly. That was not my intention. In better times I may have found a less blunt way of explaining myself. I know that you are a deeply devout christian and a good person. I did not mean to belittle your concept of conscience. We live according to the rules which we set ourselves but the results are generally the same; We become decent human beings.
((Hugs))
Ed

Eddie 8-19-2002 12:00

Rhoda,
Yes I do grieve. I grieve for the state of mankind too.
Just to pick up on something in your post (something which I have heard or read before)
"throw off the shackles on conscience and go where our inclinations would take us.. etc."
This often taken position has never sat well in my mind, I have tried to reason the intellect behind it and have failed every time. Here is my take on it:
I do not need a 'conscience' to live my life in a caring and thoughtful way. This implies that I am 'good' only because I fear the retribution of my fellow beings if I 'stray' from the path of decency and trust. This implies that I live a decent life only because I wish not to bear the consequences of transgression. If that was the only reason for me to live as society wants me to then I would be able to confidently weigh up the pros and cons of a given situation and make a decision about how I want to behave.
Jerry said that people kill or commit other henious crimes because they want to. The same goes for the opposite; I do not want to be a cruel B***tard! I do not want to steal from anybody and I certainly have no wish to harm the innocent.
I do not need a 'conscience'to tell me how to live my life. I do not say this lightly, I have thought it through in a philisophical manner. I have looked at it from every angle.
I am not naive however, and I do know that some will attempt to hurt me or cheat me. I have seen death and horrific injury, I know how it can get. All life is to be treasured and protected as far as we can possibly help it. Sometimes we make mistakes or fall down on the job, but we learn from these mistakes.
The preponderence of monsters in this world is a frightening development which needs careful consideration and effective management. Decent human beings will only take so much evil. They will act. It is engrained on our Psyche, just remember every story you ever read as a child, every drama or film that you watch now. In the end a HERO comes to save the day. The hero is a metaphor. The true hero is human decency. We have to believe this or we might as well give up now.
Sorry to take up so much space.
Ed

Eddie 8-19-2002 11:52

EDDIE,

It is horrible, and I grieve with you as I do grieve about the children who have been taken here in the United States as late. And yes, I do believe it is getting worse.

JACK,

Your explanation sounds so logical except it doesn't account for the fact that each person has a soul and a spiritual dimmension that transcends genetics, environment and gives each person a decision how they are going to live their lives. There are exceptions such as people who are dealing with a mental illness, but biochemistry, medical condition and environment will never explain everything.

There is evil in this world. Every one of us flirts with it in some form or another because we have something in us that is flawed. Christians call it "sin," a very old-fashioned word. Everyone also has a sense of right and wrong, a conscience, and that keeps most of us in check and helps foster the better parts of our nature like love, hope, generousity, compassion, etc. But what if conscience is squelched and squelched at such a young age that it never fully develops?

Is there anyone here reading this post who hasn't had a thought or notion they are soon after ashamed of? Do we have a flaw such as a bad temper maybe, or a tendency to drink too much, or a tendency to be selfish at times? I would bet that we all do. The difference is that we know some of these things are wrong and we temper them. I don't think any of us would hurt an innocent young child, but were we throw off the shackles on conscience and go where our inclinations would take us and lose all fear of the law and of God, it might be shocking to most of us to what depths of depravity we might sink to after five, ten years or more of living this way. What if there were no loved ones or no law either to curb all this? It would be hell on earth if enough of us were in this situation.

Well, there are people who for one reason or another make that decision. Some of these folks might do nothing worse than rob a few banks, embezzle from their workplace, run a house of prostitution, sell drugs on a street corner, etc., but there are a significant amount of them who will murder innocents.

I think the Bible give the best insight into the heart of man. I have found it consistent with what I have observed in 42 years of life. The good news is that one day things will be different. There will come a day when there is no more death, no more crime, no more evil. Jesus will return and he will reign. I know that is a hard thing for intelligent, modern people to believe, but I'll take it to the bank. Until that day, we just must work within our ability to examine our own hearts and make our lives something of worth. We take care of our families, friends and our neighbors who need a hand. We do what we can do to make our community better and safer.

Rhoda 8-19-2002 11:14

I know the press, the intelligentie, the shrinks, the Doctors, the social workers, and all the other elite's have theories about how monsters become monsters. Many say that it is due to abuse as children, many claim it's because the monster grew up deprived and poor, they say that the monsters grew up in homes that were one parent homes, or that the monsters parents were alcoholics, drug abusers, or trailer house trash.

Yet with all this information that they postulate, how come the vast majority of those who grew up in abusive homes, who's parents were alcoholics, drug abusers, who were raped and beaten when children, who were trailer house trash grow up to be good productive citizens who through their own efforts drug themselves up from the gutter and made something of their lives.

I used to listen to all this bs about the poor abused kids who had no choice but to be criminals, until I began work in law enforcement.

Then I became very aware that it was all a bushel of bull shit. Monsters become monsters because the want too. It's just that simple. It's the same with criminals, they turn to crime because THEY WANT TO!

Oh I'm sure they didn't start out saying "I want to kill little girls!" No it started out with "I want that toy!" and they stole that toy. Seeing how easy that was, they continued with larger and greater thefts, just a matter of degree until they felt they could get away with anything.

Much the same with mass killers, who began by cutting up live animals, and went on to bigger animals until they came to people.

I could be wrong, but that's the way I see it.

Jerry 8-19-2002 11:05

p.p.s

Again, I will be archiving in the next day or so. In part that is to make sure the Notebook does not grow totally out of size as I head off to the World Science Fiction Convention in San Jose. I will also after it is over be off to do some diving at Los Lobos and on the Monterey Express.

Jack Beslanwitch World Science Fiction Convention 8-19-2002 4:38

Eddie and Jerry: Let me expand slightly on what I stated before. In part this could be a developmental outcome due to untreated abuse at an early age or outright abuse to the point that a conscience never developed at a critical juncture in the developmental process. That and/or genetic components that allow for certain environmental pressures to express themselves in certain types of ways. This is not to exonerate the monstrous actions you allude to and I will recuse myself from the death penalty discussion since my own personal and religious beliefs are opposed to it, but I am sorely tempted in situations such as you describe to step away from principle. Serial killers, aggressive pedophiles and similar ilk, are individuals that we should deal with, yes, but also attempt to learn from as best we can to at least attempt to preclude it from happening again. What truly results in a monster is a question open for exploration and as writers this perhaps is a useful if unfortunate thing. It allows us to take our own tact on how we create a monster. My previous allusion to Hannibal Lector is replete in the three books with the motivations that ultimately resulted in the monster he became.

Point of fact, that might be an interested discussion in terms of creating the central antagonist in a story line. How do you create a monster. One of the assignments at a Clarion West in the past that I heard of was to come to class and create the worst most revolting and evil villain/monster that you can create. Then when everybody arrived with their take on this, the writer instructor told the class now make them sympathetic.

My usual approach or my hoped for approach is to mine the angst and anger and anguish that comes of such monstrous circumstances to motivate the words and the muse to make me put words on screen. This sidesteps entirely the specifics of the monstrous actions done in the last several days, but I can well understand the gut level desire to seek vengeance and justice in circumstances such as this.

Jack Beslanwitch 8-19-2002 1:04

Eddie - I know what your feeling right now. Can't say that I can explain a thing about how people do such things, they just do.

I fear that we are not half so civilized as we think we are. It's just that most of us control our hate and anger better then those who kill.

Those who kill kids though they are a different breed all together, they should die the same way they kill their victims, or worse. There is no fitting punishment for such animals, but as a civilized society we try to lock them away for awhile then tell ourselves that we have rehabed them then turn them loose on an unsuspecting society again.

We are facing 19th century animals and delving out 21st century punishments. Perhaps we should go back to death by the lash, or maybe drawing and quartering, but I doubt that it would help.

Most of these animals think they will not be caught, and know that if they are the punishment will be neither swift no fitting.

Yes, I think public drawing and quartering, that may be the answer, at least the one who is drawn and quartered will never hurt another child.

Jerry 8-19-2002 0:11

Jack,
You postulate that our intellect outstrips our genetic bent by at least a couple of hundred years.
God help us then!
The right way to live seems so easy to me. Why then is it so confusing to such a significant number of human beings.
My heart is broken right now. I just can't bring myself to believe that this is some genetic throwback behaviour which was at one time partly acceptable.
These animals should be removed from the face of the earth. It is so simple. It is not, and can never be, right to inflict this sort of pain onto the world.
(Cherish the children, for they are the future.)
Where was God when these innocents were so cruelly taken and killed.
Every day we find more reason to suspect that God has turned his back on our world.
(This from a person who has never been over religeous.)
If it is within our power as writers then we must try to turn the tide and make this a better world.

Sorry for the rant everybody. I just can't accept that any human being could do this thing.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Ed

Eddie 8-18-2002 22:18

p.s. I noticed that we care starting to get large. Some time in the next week I will archive. Also, I have a video up on my underwater video site of a harbor seal that scoped us out recently as well as cloud sponges and a wolf eel. Take care everyone.

Videos 8-18-2002 21:41

Eddie: As much as this sad and twisted event comes to assault us and bewilder us about the circumstances that would spawn such monsters, it is possibly good to remember that this is not new, just better reported and better pursued by the police in question. Set aside current depravities such as Ruanda and Cambodia and set back a century and think about the actions of the white population towards the Indians and the blacks. The etiology and causation of such madness, and it is madness, can be cultural, biochemical, genetic and more. The one lesson I think is important to bear in mind about all of this is that in the last fifty years we have become more and more knowledgable about how much nature there is to such homicidal rages and pedophilic depravities rather than nurture. The fact that we understand ourselves better now than a century ago and perhaps consider what was the status quo then as monstrous now perhaps says we are at least started to be pointed in the right direction. As writers and creative individuals who are prone to explore the nature of the human psyche we need to step back and not necessarily understand them, but at least be able to recognize what makes them tick. One of the more chilling books I read in science fiction was an account of an alternate history in which the defeated tories and confederates went to South Africa. The first and second books were told in major chunks from the perspective of the slave holding monsters and you found yourself drawn in deeper and deeper into their psyche until you snapped back and looked on in horror. It is this ability to draw the reader into the mindset of the monster that can create some quite compelling pieces of fiction. Another example that comes to mind is the trilogy of Hannible Lector, including Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs and Hannible. We may not like the real world outcome of these sick and twisted actions, but we can use them as inspiration for our writing endeavors. It does not change that we do not have Genghis Khan or Torquemada living today, because point of fact that are alive and well, just, hopefully, not with enough power to perpetrate actions on the scale such individuals have done in the past. That beggars the question as to whether it will happen again. The answer is likely yes. Hitler and Pol Pot and other of their stripe are not that far away. They are still trying to figure out how to adjudicate the individuals that comitted mass murder in Ruwanda. The best we can hope for is that we can mine the many faceted and very flawed diamond that is the human condition for some meaning that we can write about.

My 2 cents worth.

Jack Beslanwitch 8-18-2002 21:39

It is a sad day for the world.
This country has been glued to the news channels for the past two weeks.
Yesterday the bodies of ten year old Holly Wells and her best friend Jessica Chapman (Also ten years old) were found in a wood near to their home village.
I know the area well as it was badly hit by the foot and mouth outbreak last year. I spent some time in the Village.
The whole thing begs the obvious question. What the hell is going wrong with the World?
How do we breed these strange creatures that prey on the future of our society?
I gave up trying to get inside the criminal mind a long time ago, it was just too painful. If I think too deeply about it I may decide that I no longer wish to live in such a world.
Where do we turn now for directions?
Do we bring back capital punishment?
That was my gut response this morning.
I really don't know any more.
F***ing BASTARDS!!!
Sorry for my bad mouthing but it berst describes my anquish.
Later,
Ed

Eddie Simply Writing 8-18-2002 18:50

JERRY -- Please understand that I'm not picking on you, or poking fun, but "duel control on the electric blanket" does provoke some hilarious images! :-)

howrad 8-18-2002 9:12

Send a bit of that hot and muggy our way, the weatherman used the "F" word in the forecast tonight, no he said FROST!

Way too early for that, heck the garden isn't even close to producing tomatoes as of yet, and that's all that grew in this dry HOT arid summer. Now winter is creeping in, so very early. The past few days have been cold, in fact I put an extra blanket on my side of the bed last night and it felt very good. The wife would like to sleep with the windows open in the winter should I let her, she so loves her cold for sleeping. That's why I have a duel control on the electric blanket in winter, but it's too early for that too.

They say it may again get up in the 80's but then again, it may not.

Yesterday was so windy that more branches fell, gusts were over 70MPH again, that was what brought the cold spell, or so the weatherman said.

Oh well life goes on, and we should be writing about it shouldn't we?

Write ON!

Jerry 8-18-2002 0:18

It rained here today. Now it's hot and steamy.
G'nite!

howard 8-17-2002 22:17

RANDALL -- A pool of crude that's just a headache! That IS rich!

When I was about 8 years old, we were all coming home from a day at the lake. As we approached Lockport city limit, we passed Reid's Hot Dog stand. It was mobbed. My mother said, "He has a gold mine there." I stared at that stand and the people around it until it went out of view.
"Mom. If he has a gold mine, why does he keep selling hot dogs?"

Mark 8-16-2002 13:45

Want to end the drought??

Women's naked farming ritual brings rain
August 16 2002

Some 200 women in Nepal who ploughed their fields naked in a desperate attempt to bring rain to their drought-stricken region were rewarded as the monsoon began shortly afterwards, a report said yesterday.

The women had last week locked their husbands inside their houses and then stripped off to till their fields at midnight in a bid to appease the Hindu god of rain, Indra.

The superstitious women were trying to bring showers to the far western Banke district, where the monsoon had failed to materialise and farmers had been unable to plant rice.

Naked farming was not the only ritual performed by the locals, they also "married" male and female frogs and staged naked dances - all thought to provoke divine intervention to end dry spells.

Days after the naked ploughing, it began raining in western parts of the country and it seemed the rain god Indra was finally appeased, the Nepali-language daily, Nepal Samacharpatra said.

Local official Rajesh Kumar Mahato from the neighbouring Dhangadhi district told the newspaper some places in the region had 197mm of rainfall at the weekend.

The ritual had worked so well that excessive rainfall caused roads to become flooded.

Meteorology Department officials forecast the rain would continue for a few more days, the newspaper said.

Some 422 people have died in Nepal from flooding and landslides during this monsoon season, according to the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies.

AFP

Jerry 8-16-2002 11:28

Hoo! I've just come in from the garden, and it was sooo hot and dry out there...

How hot was it ?

Well, when I finally worked up enough moisture to spit, I was immediately attacked by three beets and a thirsty turnip! That's dry. They get mean when they get dehydrated.

Picked a bucket full of cucumbers for pickles though, and enough green and yellow beans to can a dozen or 15 pints. I always get to thinking about Greg Brown's song about this time of year. One of the best lines I ever heard was his "...and Gramma puts summer in a jar..." from that song.

It's supposed to rain this afternoon and tonight. I hope it does.

howrad 8-16-2002 11:21

As has been suggested right here in the notebook, I've spent this evening browsing news from around the world, including online papers from England, Germany, Ireland, Luxembourg, Russia, Malta and a few others who's names escape me at the moment. There was this nice page at the BBC world news that gives links to other news services, that's where I found the papers.

At any rate, from these papers I get the impression that first off, most of the world is simply too busy with their own worries to care much either way about how the US goes after Iraq. Now there were a few editorials both for and against such action, most suggested that while it is probably necessary, the US, should either 1.) Get permission from NATO, and other European powers, or 2.) Go ahead but don't ask us for help, or 3.) Mind our own business, leave the middle east to middle easterners, and attack only when attacked.

None of this comes as a surprise to me, what did surprise me was all the hell that other nations are suffering right now with the bad economy world wide, and their internal problems. They seem to face major problems, many of which come from the very social programs that many here in the US want us to go with, such as socialized medicine (200 health care workers jobs cut!) (Doctors on strike!) and so forth. One paper what complained that since guns are band, the increase of attacks by knife and hatchet are up, no surprise there, when someone wants to kill they take what is handy to do the job.

It was an eye opener. Now we spent the day on a trip to Bismarck where we got the shelves the wife has wanted since we moved into this house, and I haven't heard any news on TV, but I did find in many of the European papers that the US has been shopping charities to dispatch 6.6 million dollars to the poor and injured in Iraq.

This could well fit with Howard's hunch that the shit is about to hit the fan for Saddam, who by the way according to one paper was just nominated again by unamouse vote by the ruling council for another term as President of Iraq.

See, and you thought I couldn't read. (Just kidding)

Write on, the world needs your voice now more then ever.

Jerry 8-16-2002 1:13

Dunno if it means anything, but we got word tonight that the wedding we were to attend the day after tomorrow has been postponed indefinitely. The groom is unable to be here because his leave has been cancelled. He's in the Navy, stationed on the west coast. He had applied for the leave and been approved, with the good wishes of his commander. They notified him yesterday -- three days before the wedding -- that his leave is cancelled.
D'ya suppose something is about to break loose?

howard 8-16-2002 0:35

RANDALL

Hey!

Have I got a story for you! (Giggle) Boy is this rich! (Chortle, chortle) Talk about a key word ... rich! No, no we haven't won the lottery or anything like that. Well, it seems that two major restaurants are about to begin construction within a block of our store. TWO! Won't have to drive anywhere! No sir! Walk over and eat lunch! Great!

During the course of the last few months there have been hoards of persons examining the future adjoining construction sites. Various contractors examining two old buildings that will have to be removed. Men and women in hard hats spraying orange paint at various locations on the ground, surveying, plotting, writing on clipboards. And the core drillers. A lot of core drilling.

These core drillers are small, truck mounted drills that take samples of sub-surface materials. As the store delivery driver I have noted these operations on a daily basis. The core drilling has increased to such a frenzy that sometimes one crew will have to wait till another is finished before they move on site and begin! I mean, they have drilled so many holes it's a wonder the whole area doesn't sink! We're talking about an acre or so in size and the core drilling goes on! Day and night!

I recently talked to a man I know outside the store. He runs a crew that does dirt work. You know, the men who build pads that businesses sit on? These guys own backhoes, small loaders, dump trucks and a crew of hung-over, longhair, scruffy looking, blue-jeaned construction workers. I asked him if he was doing the dirt work?

"Well, not sure now," he replied wiping sweat out from his hard hat. "There may not be any construction at all."

"What?" I asked as we watched a large core drilling rig pull onto the property. While we looked the hard hats swarmed around and within minutes another hole was being drilled.

"They found sub-surface contamination. A lot, and the insurance companies are hesitant to proceed. That's why there is so much sampling going on."

One of the businesses to be torn down was an old gasoline station. No surprise there on contamination. The old timers routinely dumped used crankcase oil behind the station and never replaced underground tanks. Consequently, a lot of gasoline and diesel leaked into the soil. The EPA has put out of business thousands of mom and pop gasoline stations because they were unable to dig up and replace leaking tanks. Too expensive.

"But that's not the major problem Randy." He grinned at me. "They're finding crude oil. Shallow pockets of natural gas and crude oil. It seems there is a pool of oil underneath us that runs over a mile south."

CRUDE OIL? Texas Tea! Black Gold! West Texas crude is going for 25 bucks a barrel! By the gift of nature, free money! Good Lord! All ya gotta do is drill and case the hole and put up a pump jack. Call Haliburton Production, (Vice President, Dick Cheney's old outfit) and watch the money flow in! The stuff of legendary oil men! (H. L. Hunt who in 1981 tried to corner the silver market ... world wide! His brother Lamar who owns the NFL Kansas City Chiefs football team.) Instant wealth! From mule to Cadillac in a heartbeat! From tent to a swanky Houston penthouse! Overnight! Shades of J.R. Ewing! Edna Ferber wrote a novel about Crude Oil ... to some a testimony akin to the Bible. A little tome called GIANT ... a movie was made, pouty James Dean and stalwart Rock Hudson and luscious Liz Taylor.

Beautiful, black, stinking OIL! CRUDE OIL! Why, the very thought brings to mind the legendary "Spindletop" well in south Texas. When she hit it blew thirty foot joints of drill stem, top of the derrick, a greatly pleased tool pusher and a couple of startled roughnecks yards high. Spindletop! Blowing out thousands of barrels of oil a day! Crude Oil! Without Crude Oil no GM, no Ford, no airliner, no nutting! The stinkiest, gooiest, most awful liquid you will ever come across...and its right under our feet. Screw the Arabs! We got our own, and it's right here!

My friend noticed the look on my face. "Not enough for production though. Just enough to mess up the whole show."

He grinned. "Ain't that a bitch. Imagine a fellow in some office somewhere staring at the lab reports. All he wants to do is build a restaurant and the location is atop a low yield pool of oil! Seventy-five years ago, this would have been a minor strike. Now it's just a headache. Thats gotta hurt. More money in "Burgers and fries and cherry pies" than in oil production."

As an August sun blazed down, we watched another core drilling pull up.

Crude Oil! Who needs it!

Tina...thats ok. With a stiff upper lip and hands on the table I'll read your stories.

Randall

Randall 8-15-2002 22:09

There's been a lot of talk of the new laws allowing the government more power so they can catch terrorists. One such law that has yet to be passed, and I pray it is never passed, will require our local postman to report on any activity he deems dangerous.

I can see us now looking on all federal employees as enemies, much as the good people of Germany became fearful of those who wore the swastika.

I can see it now, Ralph the postman is angry because Beth has failed to give him a Christmas gift as most of those on his route do. To get even with Beth, he reports to his superiors that he has seen meetings taking place at Beth's place where many Arab men gather and he has seen them reading the Koran.

Now in actuality, Beth is a member of the local Methodist church, and has never even heard of the Koran, except on the nightly news, yet two days later, members of the combined federal task force on terrorism sneak up to her front door, and on the command of the unit commander signals the invasion, machine gun carrying SWAT members rush her house, breaking the door, tearing their way through her pristine home where photo's of her children in their youth are knocked to the floor, the glass ground into the very fabric of her carpet. She is located in her sewing room where she is cross stitching a pattern of Old Glory, and taken into custody for interrogation by the terrorists investigative forces. She is held seven days without being charged, and on the statement of the postman, is transported to Getmo and imprisoned with the prisoners of war, to be interrogated by investigators there.

The neighbors whisper at her duplicity, her ability to mask her religious beliefs, her Arab herriatige beneath her old grey hair. Marble Smith tells her neighbors that she never trusted that old bat, always knew there was something different in the pickles she made for the state fair, after all how could she have won that blue ribbon seven years running!

The rest of the folks on the mail route are even more generous with their mail carrier, and he is happy with the results of his little game. Who will be next to be caught by the terror police/mailmen?

Will it be me, or maybe you?

Jerry 8-15-2002 21:09

Here's one of the sites I visit regularly for a bit of down to earth talk of what's happening in today's military and the world.

Jerry Soldiers for the Truth 8-15-2002 19:31

JERRY/MARK -- I've been reading and hearing too much about this "righteous war" too, and I'm just hoping and praying that it's not just political posturing. I do admire and support our president, but at the same time I recognise that he's human, and susceptible to the same failures as anyone else.
Then again, from what I've been reading over the past dozen or so years, Saddam is an evil blot on the face of the earth. He cares nothing for his own people, having demonstrated his disdain for human life in attacking even his own, and in placing them deliberately in harm's way.
Perhaps we should practice some "stain removal" and put him under. But I'd hate to think we're doing it for the wrong reasons.
Thanks for the site MARK! Looks interesting, and I'll check it out later tonight.

howard 8-15-2002 16:45

I know this is probably too long, but it's a true story, and it just kind of poured out.

Bob was headed home. He hit 'resume' on the cruise control, and the big Olds accelerated away from the toll booth on the Garden State.

He'd just stopped to call Elsa, to tell her he'd be there around 3AM. She had protested that it was too late, that he ought to stop at a motel to rest for the night, but he was in a hurry. He'd made this trip so many times that he could do it in his sleep if he had to.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she'd said, "please, if you get to feeling too tired just pull over and rest for a while."

"I will," he'd reassured her, "but right now I don't feel a bit tired."

He had turned off the air conditioning and opened the window, thinking the fresher outside air would keep him alert. And no radio tonight -- he wanted to think about his son, and about the donut shop. It was getting near retirement time, and he was worried that Bill was more interested in girls and cars than in keeping the family business going. "I guess there are more important things in life than getting up early to make donuts," he mused.

He glanced at his mirror to check on traffic coming up behind as he approached the merge lanes. "No sense getting flattened by a tractor-trailer," he thought, still feeling a shiver as he remembered the last trip.

Something caught his attention as he looked back at the toll booth. A car was coming on way too fast to have stopped, and it was accelerating and catching up to him. He glanced at his speedometer. "Sixty -- that guy must be doing seventy already!"

He tapped the brake to disengage the cruise so that the other car would be past him before he reached the merge point. "Let him go, and hope I don't have to stop to pick up any pieces if he flips that thing down the road!"

The other driver came roaring by, and the next couple of seconds seemed to slow down and stretch into an eternity. He could hear loud music playing from the 8-track cranked up to the limit as they caught up to him. Strangely he recognised it -- "Sounds like the tape Bill listens to." He looked closer in his side mirror and saw there were at least three, maybe four people in the car. He caught a glimpse of something flashing through the air, then felt the crushing pain in his arm as something shattered against it. He smelled the beer as the quart bottle exploded against his arm and another on the window frame, showering him with shards of broken glass and splattering him with beer. And he heard wild laughing and someone yelling "You crazy s-o-b! I said not at the window!" as the car sped on by him and disappeared into the blackness ahead.

And then the lurch and bump, and the scream of metal on concrete as the big sedan jumped the concrete curbing and rode it to a stop a hundred feet down the road.

And then silence.

The siren in the distance told him that he was still alive, but he was hurting like hell. His arm alternated between numbness and excruciating pain, and the side of his face stung where the glass had embedded in his cheek. He could smell oil and antifreeze, and remembered that the car was overdue for an oil change, and he'd better take it in to have the cooling system checked in the morning.

The siren grew louder, and it began to get on his nerves. "Why do they have to run that thing so loud? I've already got a headache, and why is everything all blurry?" The noise stopped as if he'd wished it away, and he tried to smile gratefully, but it was more like a grimace as he sensed someone walking toward the car.

"Please step out of the car, sir." The voice sounded angry, or disgusted. "Now! Out of the car!"

Bob tried to move, but couldn't -- tried to talk, but all he could do was mumble incoherently.

The officer reached for the door just as his partner walked up. "I said ge.. Oh Jesus! Carl -- help me get him out!" What the hell happened to him?"

"I dunno, John," exclaimed his partner. "I can smell the beer, but I don't think he was drinking it. Looks like he got hit with a bottle! I'll call for an ambulance!"

They eased Bob to the ground beside the car and the first officer began to check over his injuries while the second ran back to radio for medical help. "Did you get a description of whoever did this?" asked the cop.

Bob shook his head. It was beginning to clear now, and the pain was increasing. "No," he rasped, "just caught a flash of blue as they went by. Three guys, maybe four." He groaned again as the cop checked his arm.

"It's broke for sure," he said, "but all the blood's coming from your head."

"I think they got me with two bottles. First one hit my arm. The second one hit the door frame and scattered back at me." Everything started to go blurry again.

"Just relax and don't try to talk any more," said the cop. "The ambulance is almost here."

Bob tried to nod, but it hurt too much. He grimaced again as he heard the approaching siren. Then he lost consciousness again as the ambulance arrived.

They took him to the ER at the local hospital, where it was determined that his injuries, though serious and painful, were not life-threatening. They cleaned up his face, sewed up the gash over his eyebrow and removed the splinters of glass from his cheek. Then they x-rayed and re-splinted his arm, and told him that the ortho guy would have to fit him with a cast as soon as the swelling went down. Then the nurse asked what he'd like for breakfast.

"Haven't got time for that," he insisted. My wife is expecting me, and I've got to get home. Got a business to run! Please, where's my clothes and my car?"

The ER staff protested, but he was adamant, and signed himself out. His car had been towed to a service station near the hospital, and he found the mechanic checking it over as he arrived.

"This your vehicle?" asked the station owner. "Stan says it needs an alignment real bad, and there's a busted oil line. Nothing really serious, but it needs fixing before you drive it very far. Geez -- are you all right?"

"How long to fix the oil line?" asked Bob, ignoring the stares of the owner and the mechanic.

"'Bout ten minutes," said the mechanic. "No trouble to fix it right now. But the alignment will take most of the morning. Gotta take it over to the tire shop for that."

"Can I make it home the way it is?" asked Bob, "I'm in a hurry -- late already."

"Well I guess," said the mechanic, "but I wouldn't drive it too far the way it is."

"OK, just the line then, and I'll take care of the rest when I get home." Bob looked around, "Got a phone so I can call my wife and let her know where I am? She's probably worried sick!"

He thanked the man, and limped into the office to call Elsa, moving stiffly all the way.

His wife was indeed worried, but calmed down as he told her that he'd only had a bit of car trouble, and would be home around noon. "And then we'll sit down and talk to Billy again. I think I really want to retire this time."

The Olds pulled to the right all the way home, just as the mechanic had said it would, but eventually he pulled into the driveway and shut it off. There was that hot oil smell again, and the tic-tic-tic that he hadn't heard before. "Guess I'd better see about getting rid of this one, and maybe getting something smaller. Wonder if the insurance will cover any of it?"

Elsa nearly became hysterical when she saw the bandages and splint, but he calmed her down, joking about it until she actually laughed at the thought of the cop ordering him out of the car. "He thought I was a drunk driver, until he saw all the blood!"

They had lunch, and talked with Billy, who was also unnerved at the sight of his father's injuries. "Yes, dad, I'll take it from here. It's time you did retire, and I do know what needs to be done."

"He opened this morning, dear," said Elsa, "as soon as we realized you weren't going to be home in time he went down and got everything ready for the morning crew."

"That's good to hear, Bill, I'm just getting too old and tired to keep this up much longer. Speaking of tired, I think I'll take a nap for a while -- it's been a long drive!"

"I think I'll join you," said his wife, "I never get much sleep when you're on the road anyway."

They went up to the bedroom, where Bob laid himself down gingerly. Elsa helped him get his shoes and outer clothes off, and stretched out beside him, and they both drifted off to a fitful sleep.

Soon she was awakened by a choking noise, and sat up to see and hear her husband breathe his last, as a massive blood clot from the shattered arm invaded his heart and lungs, overwhelming them. Death followed quickly as she sat helplessly holding him, pleading for him not to go.

Somewhere near the Garden State Parkway there are three or four young killers. Unaware, yet murderers all the same. Their fun and games were directly responsible for my uncle's death, and even though it's been twenty-some years, we still remember. And we hope and pray that somehow they'll remember too.

howard 8-15-2002 15:12

JERRY -- You say that you are seeing a whole load of information on the coming war and it all seems to echo the same sentiment about how that war would be 'right.' The link below is to a website with wildly alternate views expressed in dark, dark humor. Reading the cartoons there, I laughed until I cried. They take on the war in Afganistan, CEO honesty, political shenanigans, etc.

The really telling point (for me) in your post was the notion that maybe you've read too much and are writing too little. Amen, Brother. I need a balance in my life, and I'm sure I can bury my head in my own thoughts until the only world I know is the world in my head. Similarly, I can study the published world until I have no original ideas, until I know (on any event) only what other people think. I am a man of extremes. I've done drunkenness and sobriety, war and peace, hate and love. I know what I eat and what eats me.

Even my search for centeredness could be called extreme. I console myself with the notion that at least I no longer seek the extreme outside edge of things. In 1988 or 89 I fell asleep in front of the news about a possible Hurricane strike right on Port Arthur / Beaumont. I woke up to find that the hurricane had sped up, hit the coast, and we were too late to evacuate in front of it. I was happy. I wanted that experience. Turned out that the roughest part of the storm landed just West of us and went through the sparsely populated areas between Beaumont and Houston. Oh, well. We had a couple feet of rain. We were flooded. I put up a stack of cinder blocks in the back yard so the dog had a place to squat. Friends on the bayou had alligators in their backyards. I felt cheated. It had been too easy.

Mark dark humor 8-15-2002 14:48

Hi All :)

Just a quick pop-in to say hi. The writing has been going fairly steady the past couple of days though I do need to do some major research to fill in some holes. If I do that, then I should have a stand-alone chapter that can be submitted as a short somewhere. The only danger with that is getting so involved with the research that I don't write. I hate trying to make a decision like this. There's pros and cons for me both ways. I really don't want to stall out on this story like I have with so many others in the past. I'm enjoying this one way too much. Then again, maybe that enjoyment will pull me back into the story with less problems then I faced in the past. Perhaps I'll flip a coin. Course, then I won't be able to decide whether to call heads or tails. hehehehe Nope, after getting that off my chest here with you all -- I'll keep writing while the flow is going and then when I've got one of those days when I can't think of the next word -- I'll research and get the motivation to get going again. That sounds like a plan don't it??

Have a fun day everyone!

Carol 8-15-2002 12:26

Hi all!

Thanks guys for pumping up my ego ;-)

Randall, how about I put a warning at the beginning of my skydiving posts, hmmm? You know, something like, 'WARNING: the following post contains explicit details that height fearing individuals may find disturbing'.

Jerry, you know, your post about media and mixed messages was written very eloquently. To get a wider picture, though, check out the sites put up by people who oppose what's happening, and international sites for a POV outside of the US. You may find info that will rock your socks off.

Jumping tomorrow. Can't wait (she says while sighing a long, impatient sigh...)

Blue skies!

Tina 8-15-2002 10:57

Ok so here I sit with my new celeron computer, and it works just fine. Got the new processor for the old one today, and installed it in the wife's machine (she took my old machine when I got my new one) and it still locked up. Decided to part it out, and as I took off the cover, I figured one last try, took the ram out of the machine the wife used to use, and put it in the old machine, and all is well with the my old (the wife's new) athlon screamer.

So now I have a brand new HP with a celeron 1.2 gig processor that runs about half the speed of the wife's 1 gig athlon machine. Well it could be that 64 meg video card I had in the athlon vs the 32 megger in this one.

Oh well the wife deserves the best, after all she does have to put up with me every day.

Listening to some stupid news show today, when the reporter revealed that this sudden rash of child stealing isn't something new. In fact he reported this year has been slow compared to other years when many more children have been stolen. The difference? Well the press decided to cover them now.

You know how the press is, once they bite into a subject, they beat it till it's very dead, and very tender.

Not that there's anything wrong with the coverage of stolen children, my god the problem is where were they last year when there were more children stolen by the same month last year? Well they were chasing political stories, and were too busy to be bothered by missing kids.

Write on.

Jerry 8-15-2002 0:10

Randall

Hey!

Tina...I must request you refrain from further stories relating to jumping out of an airplane. Unless there is a real emergency of course. I don't know if it's the dad in me or the scardy cat in me, BUT YOU"RE SCARING THE BEJESUS OUT OF ME!

There, it's out in the open. (Grin)

Mountain climbing is high on my list of no no's, leaping carefree from a airplane ... way before that! I got chill bumps watching VERTICAL LIMIT. Indeed spent several moments peering around a kitchen wall at the TV as the climbers attacked K2 cause I couldn't sit down!

Well, anyway, you be careful lady!

Wow! Howard, now that's hot!!!

Randall

Randall 8-14-2002 22:08

Tina - Thank you so much for that trip through the sky. You have taken my old broken body places where it can never go, places where I can only dream about. I was there with you from the ground to the step of the plane and back to the ground again. Super writing.

I sit here tonight watching a TV special on the war in Afghanistan, while our President has us at the very edge of the cliff, one more step will lead our nation, and our brave young men in uniform into yet another war.

I have to stop and think about this one. I know the President is probably right, I know the history of Sadam Insane, and I know that it needs to happen, yet somehow it doesn't feel right. To start another war, oh sure we'll probably win, but at what cost?

I look around and see most of the rest of the world saying they will not stand by us if we invade, and I wonder if it's right, if they're right.

Such things happening now, the attack on our nation, a war still being fought in Afghanistan, and now another just around the corner.

I examine my feelings, and find that while I don't hate all Muslims (heck I don't even know any Muslims) I'm not happy at what I hear in the press, and what I don't hear.

Sources on the internet say that all Muslims wish to see the downfall of our great nation, even those who enjoy it's freedom, it's hospitality, and I wonder who's telling the truth. The sites I find this information at are sites that I feel I should trust. Trust even more then the press, and after the last election fiasco, I find that I trust the press less and less every day. The site's I am going to are put up there by real hero's from past wars, hero's who wear their medals proudly, and speak the language of warriors, a language I understand. They speak of the coming war with Iraq, and say it will be right, but again, I find myself doubting them.

I guess there's just too much information out there, and I spend way too much time looking at the information, and way too little time writing, I must get back to writing again, when I write I am free of the worries of the world, free from the terror of another war on the horizon, free from 9-11. When I am writing I become my characters, I live their lives, love their loves, fear their fears.

Some say reading is the best escape, but their wrong, writing is a much better escape, to just write and not worry about spelling, not worry about word usage, just tell the story, let it flow, live the life of the characters, what could be more of an escape then that?

Oh and I had my day off today, did nothing but sit on my ass and play with my new computer.

Tomorrow is my wife's birthday, I have some plans for her special day, she has to go to a neighboring town to pick up some meat for my mom, while she's gone I can get up town and get some balloons and such to decorate the house a bit. I hope she likes it.

The next day it's our thirty-third wedding anniversary, I must come up with a small gift, as she want's a recliner for her birthday/anniversary gift, and while we've exhausted the possibilities here in town with no results, we are planning a trip up north to Bismarck where we can look for just the right one. There were plenty of chairs here, but none that match her decorating scheme. I don't know a thing about decorating, hell I would have bought her a nice blue recliner, but my chair is brown and the couch is beige with brown stripes. The floor covering is earth tone, the drapes off white with brown specks. Guess she wants a brown chair.

Anyhow I'm filling the page with my babble.

Write ON!

Jerry 8-14-2002 0:21

Just got this from a friend -- it just about says it all:

How hot is it in upsatae New York?

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out
and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one
out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying hard boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

howrad 8-14-2002 0:02

TINA -- Wow! Wonderful! That had better find its way into print along with the rest of your jump memoirs! Awesome!

I'm sitting here reading email and checking the notebook while another bat (a smaller one this time) is swooping around my head -- just flew right over the monitor -- I looked up (haven't tried to stand up yet) and it flew directly past my face, within about six inches of my nose! This room is about 12x15 ft, and you should see this critter corner! They're really beautiful creatures! So graceful!

We have several roof windows, and never bothered to put the screens in them.

He just flew out. 'Bye, bat!

Only had one or two in past years, but this is the second bat this week! Better them than the mosquitos!

We get birds once in a while as well, and I have to watch out for the hornets, but no way could we do without the windows. Besides, the cat likes to come in and out them at night.

Still no rain, and I've got strawberry plants coming sometime this week. We've got a spring a little ways from here, just across the river from here. It's been running for many years, and the water is excellent. We've been drinking it off and on for years. There are a couple of pipes coming out of the spring, and the water flows freely out of them and into a concrete cistern by the road.
So I made up a slip-fitting adapter to slide over the end of one of the pipes so that I can run a hose from it to a couple of plastic drums in the back of my truck. It takes a while to fill up the drums, but I can read or write while I'm waiting.
At home I can back the truck right up the the garden, where another adapter lets me water my garden without overdrawing my well.
I think the strawberries will be happy.

howard 8-13-2002 23:51

For your further amusement... the next installment of my skydiving adventures.

***

I arrive at the dropzone to find it very quiet. The usual crowd is absent, and only a few determined regulars have shown up. I wave a greeting to those nearby as I heft my gear bag from the truck.

My gear bag. Implying, of course, that I have gear. For three months I’ve dreamed about showing up at the dropzone with my own rig, and now here I am, toting my heavy red gear-bag into the clubhouse. It feels surreal, and that makes me giddy.

Finding a clear spot in the clubhouse, I put everything down. Only a moment later Tom pokes his head inside. “Tina, hi. Hey, are you jumping?” I nod, he nods, and that quickly I’m on a load. I wander outside, knowing that it will be awhile before I need to get ready. The plane just took off with a tandem load.

I love this laid back, relaxing atmosphere. A few busy people are packing their gear, most just sit in the sun. I join them, happy to be at the dropzone. Twenty minutes later we hear the jump plane approaching on jumprun. I use my binoculars to watch my friends exit; I never tire of seeing that moment when skydivers leave the plane.

Tom reappears with a question. “Are you going to the top?” I shrug. I’ve only jumped this gear twice, both hop and pops from just 5500 feet, and I’m not sure if I should go all the way to 10,000 yet. But I want to.

Soon, it’s time to gear up and I need to decide. I find Koyne, one of my instructors, and ask him if I’m cleared to go all the way up. I’m thrilled when he agrees. As I pull on my jumpsuit, Tom asks me again. I tell him, “Yup, all the way.” Tom grins, and I know that he knew I wanted to.

I check my gear, turn on my cypress, and borrow a helmet and goggles. While I’m getting ready I realise that I need to decide what to do on this dive. I can do anything I want, and I’m not used to that much choice. I decide to work on my door dive, then just enjoy being stable and doing turns without potato chipping. I’ll pull high, so I can continue working with my new chute. And then, hopefully, land near the target and on my feet.

Now it’s time, and I have Bob give me a gear check. He’s very thorough, and I really appreciate that. Especially when he notices that I’m not wearing my altimeter! I’d grabbed it earlier, and then set it down. I like to think I’d have noticed its absence before heading for the plane, but mentally I chastise myself for such simple negligence. Bad Tina.

Because I will be the last person out of the plane, I get the comfortable seat behind the pilot. Wings of excitement begin to beat in my stomach as Taylor the pilot taxis out, and then we are speeding up and lifting off and now we are in the air. I can’t see outside very well, but that’s the trade for the comfy seat. And my stomach is not complaining at all as we take to the air, a small blessing that has taken 28 jumps to accomplish. No, the anticipation sends a tingle through my skin, but the nervous fear is very mellow now, smothered beneath the joy I know I’ll be experiencing soon. Still, caution makes me touch my pull and handles. They are positioned slightly differently on this rig than on the student rig I’m used to, and I want my arms to know where to reach when the time comes.

The other guys are doing a three way, and I ask them how much separation they want. I tell Taylor the pilot that I’m pulling high. I check my handles again. I compare my altimeter reading with Tad’s. I visualise what I’m doing on this jump. I chat with the guys to pass the time to altitude. And through it all, I don’t feel the fear that is usually coursing through me. I want this so much, and right now I want to be getting out that door and into the air. Just me and Beauty, my chute, alone in the air so high above the earth that casual eyes looking up would not see me. I want to savour the entire jump.

My altimeter reads 8500 feet as the plane pulls onto jumprun, carefully lining up with the spot we want to be above when we get out. We all shift and move, pull on our helmets and goggles, and wait. We pump each other up with cheers and funky handshakes and thumbs up until Taylor calls, “Door!” That word turns us all serious, because here is the moment we each dream about and it’s time to fly. Bob looks out the door to check our spot… and we are too far south. He shakes his head and signals for a go around. What fun! Taylor banks the Cessna into a tight turn, and in only a few minutes we are lined up and ready to go. Again, the door opens and wind rushes in and the guys climb out. I’ve never seen a three way exit, and I’d like to watch them closely, but I need to get in position. The plane rocks gently when they let go, and Taylor deftly adjusts for it.

Here I am. My altimeter reads 9500 feet above the ground, I am half out of the door of the airplane and perched on the step. The wind calls to me, and I imagine it to be a pillow lying on the earth, but also a pale blanket that waits to wrap around my falling body. Broken clouds are scattered across the sky, Vernon and the airport wait far below me. I can smell the metal of the plane, clean air, and the foam in my helmet. The prop blasts the air behind me and whisks a glove of wind over the plane. No other sounds can reach me here. It’s as if the world has stopped while I perch on the edge of time. There is no hesitation, not today. I count out the separation delay and then release myself into uncertainty; I let go and dive into mid-air.

I’m stable! Yes! Arms out, head up, knees bent sharply. Now stretch it out into a nice arch… what happened? I tumble once over my side, arch hard and turn onto my stomach. Ahhh, more like that, yes.

9000 feet up in the sky, when no one is with you and even the birds are absent, and only the wind is keeping you company, it is remarkable to discover that you fully believe that this is home. I am falling, I am flying, I am perfectly happy. Alone with the company of my thoughts, I have found a new place in which I belong. The pale blue sky is everywhere, the earth is everywhere, the mountains are everywhere, and I feel their heartbeat as I choose a heading and just stay there, looking out over the ageless world. I am perfectly free.

Okay, now I’ll do a 90o turn right, and now left. 360o’s left, and then right. I stop and go, feeling the pressure of the wind as I manipulate my position in it. When my altimeter reads 5500 feet, I stop and wait. Wave off at 5000, return to a stable arch for just a moment, and then reach for my pull.

What is that in the way? Damn, it’s cloth, something bundled up. My sleeve? Damn! But I can feel my pull beneath the cloth and I will not feel anxious, I grope a little and then it is in my hand and I toss it. My pilot chute comes out, and relief flies alongside. I’m slanted a bit… will that affect my opening? Not this time. The wind breathes into the pilot chute, and then I feel Beauty pulling me upright. She is brilliantly yellow and red and black against the pale sky, and we are flying together. I take a deep breath, and I notice then that I’d held my breath when I couldn’t find my pull immediately. I’d wondered about that, how you could possibly not find the pull, and now I know how easy it would be.

My Beauty wants to sing, yearns to fly, and now she is able to, running with the wind. We are partners, and I direct her to turn, to stall, to surge forward and slow down. We thrill through the sky, playfully trying stalls, flat turns, and spirals. I push her a bit faster than I did on our previous jumps, and she responds with glee. I can tell that she and I will have many wonderful jumps together.

Around 1500 feet there is some turbulence, and I work my controls to keep her even. She is so different from the student gear, she responds to my commands and to the playful wind much more quickly, and I treat her with caution as we descend below 1000 feet and turn onto the approach pattern. I fly my Beauty very carefully, turning flat and never tempting fate. A malfunction would be very dangerous this close to landing.

The ground comes up so quickly now, and I let her fly with only a few small adjustments to stay into the wind. I judge my height, ready, wait for it… now I should flare now but no wait for it! I can see every blade of grass now, okay, Flare! And I pull down firmly and step out of the air onto the very edge of the trimmed grass. I’m on my feet! Beauty collapses into the weeds, and I’ll have to shake out the seeds later. But right now I let out a whooping holler, because I have once again saved my life with a wing of nylon. Not just the life sustained by blood and heartbeat, but the life sustained by reaching beyond the routine of my life and discovering that I have more in me than the world has ever known or demanded of me before. In a world where the dance of life is never ending, I have finally found my song.

Tina 8-13-2002 22:44

Hi all!

Rachel, did you get to the airshow? We were there on Saturday, and it was, as always, awesome. The Snowbirds are my favourite; they easily outflew and outperformed the Thunderbirds. The Thunderbirds were very very good, but the Snowbirds have a grace and fluidity that the bigger jets can't achieve. The only disappointment was that the early clouds prevented Manfred from flying his sailplane, and the F117 Bomber was only on static display for a few hours and I missed it. It flew, and that was kick butt, but I didn't get to see it up close. The B2 bomber came by also, but didn't land. THAT is a very cool aircraft. No wonder people thought it was a UFO when it was still classified.

On Sunday we drove into Vancouver to the IMAX at Canada Place, and saw 'Space Station'. If you ever get the chance to see it, just do it. It was phenominal. Most of the footage was shot by astronauts while on the ISS. I think I would do almost anything to get up there. Wish I'd had this burning desire when I was younger, and the possibility existed of going to school and getting up there.

Got to reading and editing 'Shadow' during the trip to the coast, and now I have some new ideas and the writing bug has bitten me again. I'm glad. Although I'm thoroughly enjoying my skydiving obsession, I didn't want to lose the writing bug. My muse must've known better than to compete, and backed off for awhile. BUT now she's back. Yay!

As for 'comfortable'... I say it 'cumfterble'. Ya gotta love the english language, huh?

Blue skies!

Tina 8-13-2002 21:34

Hi All :)

While there are clouds in the sky and a cool breeze blowing, its still a nice day. I'm in a good mood and revved up for adding to my story. But, first I'll gab at you all for a few minutes. You don't mind do ya? heheheh

Elaine - its hard to know what words to throw at you to motivate you to work on your other pieces. If they are stalled, there could be a number of reasons for it. Not knowing what you're working on, I'll just out some stuff and see what happens. Maybe you need to kill off a character, or make one deathly sick, or give him a "happy" event with potentially sad repercussions. An example of a happy event with sad repercussions -- a man loses custody of his young son, years later the missing son wishes to see his birth father once again. By now, said man has a new family, is well settled and happy. What effect will this missing child, who he wants to see desperately, have on the serenity of his new family?

Life experiences do indeed give us everything we need to write. I am most proud of a flash fiction I wrote as the result of hours of watching the northern lights. I encapsulated the experience, the thrill, the awe, into 498 words and that little piece has been published three times. Any thing you experience, you add into your work in one way or another. Whatever captures your attention, add into your work. You see a person walking on the street, they stumble over nothing. Put that "image" in your story and have your character do this repeatedly, intensifing and exaggerating.

Randall -- my parents were watching the original Peter Pan this weekend -- I believe I saw a commerical for a remake coming out soon! :)

Heather -- while that birthday avoidance will make good fodder for writing, I fear that genetic trait will catch up to me in the near future. heheeh When I was young, I'd yell at Mom for coloring her hair, it turned gray in such a pretty fashion. HA! Years later, my own hair is turning gray in the very same pattern, but I'm coloring it over anyways! Its that gray texture, you know, that bothers me more than anything else. ;)

Jerry - here's wishing you a nice quiet day of work. {hug}

Carol 8-13-2002 15:12

Yes indeed!

TODAY'S QUOTE:

"How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?"

--Jay Leno

howrad 8-13-2002 12:44

Randall you are absolutely right. Speaking of ducks, the other day we took a drive in the country, and saw a mother duck with her chicks. The chicks were several months old, small duck now not really chicks anymore. As we sat and watched the mother and her brood walking across the prairie, they came to a stream bed that until a couple of days ago was plum empty, now it held a bit of water in the path of the duck parade.

The mother duck came to the water, and happily swam to the other side. You could see the confusion on the little ones. They looked from side to side, quacked at their mother a few times, then walked nearly a block north to where the stream bed was dry and walked across.

I don't know what you would call it, but I had one of those thoughts, and when I got home I rattled off a letter to the Governor explaining the incident, and requesting he go to the legislature for some funds to teach young ducklings to swim.

Yep, we've been having a drought, a bad drought, so bad that ducks no longer know how to swim.

I haven't been doing much writing of late, in fact it's been a very busy week or two, what with hauling the camper back and forth to get it fixed, then there was the computer purchase, the fish purchase, both of which were in conjunction with the camper hauls. Yesterday we called an early end to the pinochle games and came home to mow the lawn, boy that felt good to mow again, I didn't think I'd get to do that chore again till next spring, but the recent rains have been doing some good. Too late for the garden though, the only things growing were the tomato plants and weeds. I cut the weeds down with the mower, that was over half the garden but it looks much better now.

When I was finished mowing we hauled the clippings out to the dump grounds, I always use my bagger on the mower, keeps the lawn nicer I think. Anyhow when we finished unloading the clippings we had to go to the other side of the dumps where household garbage is mingled with tree branches, and as we unloaded the branches I noticed a computer desk, well a bunch of parts that when assembled would be a computer desk.

We picked up the pieces and brought them home, I spent the rest of the day reassembling the thing, and when I was finished we had a very nice very heavy computer desk that the wife fell in love with.

Today was spent rearranging furniture so she could have her desk, and tearing down nearly all the computers in the house to move them to their new places. Boy am I beat, I'll sleep good tonight.

After the busy week, I am silently wishing I could go back to work again, just so I could have a day off.

Write ON!

Jerry 8-12-2002 23:43

RANDALL

Evening...

Elaine...Writing what you know works for me. Somewhere in your life are life experiences you can use in story telling. Something you saw, a whisper of a conversation, something you heard. A pair of bats flying across a full moon in October. A young woman sitting on a wood corral fence as the sun sets behind her. (Happened to me!) Let your imagination flow. I recently saw a man leading a flock of ducks down the side of a bayou that runs thru town. The old noggin kicked in and now the short story I'm writing is nearly finished.

What were your experiences growing up? In the city? Country? Is there a novel there? (Sorry Mark.) A short story perhaps? A page? A paragraph? One sentence? No? Well, just one word will do! Everything is fodder for the story in a writers mind. How about just an idea? Yours? Your parents? What did your grandfather do. Your grandmother. Anything there? The horizon is wide open! Every single incident your eyes behold ... every word your ears hear ... a book read years ago? I read PETER PAN when I was 12 and never got over it. (I'm 55 now and sure wish Peter and Tinker Bell would show up soon! Times, they are a' running out!) It sent me into the realm of fantasy/adventure and I'm stuck there. "Second star to the right and on till morning."

In the greater scheme of things, it makes little diff what you write, just do IT! Volume makes you better! At least, that is writing to me. :-) Good luck!

Randall

Randall 8-12-2002 22:41

Thanks y'all,
The lines were getting fuzzy on which one is my real projects or what ones are there just because. I realized before that it was becoming into a real project and not the practice one that it began as I began it. What I really need is motivation for each of my projects that will bring each of them up to the level of my "practice" one (which is not really a practice project at all). Thanks again for y'all's advice see ya next time.
Till Niagara Falls!

Elaine 8-12-2002 16:39

Sorry everyone... that link doesn't work, but at least it takes you to ebay.ca! LOL

Heather 8-12-2002 15:33

Hi Carol! Mom's are great at age-denial, aren't they?
:o)
I have no idea how I painted that so small with such tiny detail. Ask my eyes, I think they've gone on an R&R!
HA HA HA!
(Really, I just enjoy it....)
(((HUGS))))) Don't worry, Carol, I'm sure the birthday avoidance is fodder enough for writing when next you have the opportunity!

Heather 8-12-2002 15:32

Hi All :)

Heather - now how on earth did you paint something that detailed and that tiny??? It's beautiful! Good luck with the bidding. I'm tempted, but right now I'm saving all my pennies for a trip to see the kids in TX in another 6 weeks.

Elaine - indeed, write whichever one calls to you. Some great author (wish I could remember who) once said that the first million words are only practice. Try not to label any of your works as serious or practice. Just have fun and see what gets published!

Spent yesterday at the folks. Mommy dearest is ignoring her birthday today, but a visit was in order. So no writing yesterday or yet today. But - my two avid readers are begging for another installment. (Thanks Viv!) So, its nap time and then another round of writing. Oops, no, wait -- gotta check the garden first. :)

Have a great day everyone!

Carol 8-12-2002 14:43

JMS - personal advice, or just quotes to share?

Heather 8-12-2002 13:47

Hi again, this sleepy board of scribes!
Good news! I have officially listed my very first auction item on ebay! Please have a peek and tell me what you think!
:oD

Ok.......if the link doesn't work, my ebay user ID is orchestrina, and all you need do is look for me in the search form in the 'sellers'category. I don't know if I can see straight enough to enter in that impossibly huge link addy again! 8-P

Heather Miniature painting 8-12-2002 13:45

elaine....im not a very experienced writer, but when i do have several things going, i work on the one that pulls me to it. the one in the big pile of stuff that sticks out.

Jon 8-12-2002 11:58

As one very talented writer put it, the difference is intelligence and grace; the difference is art.

Cynicism is not a virtue.

JMS 8-12-2002 6:07

Elaine - what's the difference between a 'real' piece of writing and a practice one? Why did you place single quotes around real, yet not around practice? Go with it.
Write on whatever piece you find is going well.

Heather 8-11-2002 11:06

Randall

FYI ... Hi old times in Utah ... or ... How boring can it get?

"UTAH (County)
Orem police say four boys who drove around town throwing mashed potatoes have been cited. Police Lt. Doug Edwards said after a mashed-potato ball was thrown at one car, two people in two other cars started chasing the boys. The youths were stopped by officer Kevin Arledge, who had noticed them driving erratically. They were released to their parents. -- Ann Shields"

And I thought my hometown was dull!

Randall

Randall 8-10-2002 22:36

Randall

Hello!

Having a hard time with my sons enlistment in the AF. Our house is too big and too quiet! Cannot keep my mind on writing at this time. I've read all the posts, but will not comment on them. Hello Americo! Nice to hear from you.

I'm trying to work on another comedy tale, but the comedy isn't in me. Maybe next week.

Randall

BTW... Looked at "Joes" web site. I would have posted something, but couldn't figure out where to do it.

Randall 8-10-2002 22:26

Hello!!!
I'm not dead, nor am I currently working on a big project, I'm just TIRED. Exhausted is more of the word I'm looking forward. I have a writing question. (How long has it been since I had one of those?)
I have two types of projects: practice project and my "real" projects. My problem is that of so many writers, my practice project is getting in the way of my "real" projects and I want to write with my "real" projects but my practice project has turned into something that is better than my other projects. Silly, but then, I am silly a lot of the time. I need help from you more experienced writers out there. Thanks for your advice on the topic.
By and by, how are you all? I haven't been around lately so that I could ask.
Till Niagara Falls!

Elaine 8-10-2002 22:03

Seeking adventure, horror and suspense serials, short stories and saga for new weekly webzine.

Joe Stories, Tales and Saga Online 8-10-2002 20:55

Jerry,

I also found that a good backhand would make my nose gush. I did try to avoid those...

Heather,

Then I'll send you some more hugs (big, wide smiles).

Now I am going to go and eat some breakfast. I can smell eggs cooking. I don't usually eat eggs. I have weird egg issues. Today, I have a craving for them that will not be put off. Yum!

Take care all.

Rachel 8-10-2002 13:27

Rachel - Fair enough, no snotty hugs, but regulars will be fine! :oD

Heather 8-10-2002 12:45

Never had anything cauterized, but last Wednesday when the Doctor shoved that scope thing up my nose gave me an idea of what it must feel like. Damn that hurt, but I now know exactly where all my sinus cavities are, and the whole path from my nasal orifices to my larynx.

I neglected to tell him that novacain doesn't work on me, to tell the truth that fact slipped my mind with my MD's voice in the background saying cancer - cancer - cancer. When I have dental work done they always have to shoot me up several times before doing the work, and this Dr. used some type swab with novacain on it to try and deaden the area. Didn't work.

I forgot to put on my regular glasses so he couldn't see the tears in my eyes as he probed around with that damn scope he even pulled it out once and put some vasaline on the end as it kept getting stuck and he'd have to push harder.

It was worth it though.

I do recall in my youth having nose bleeds but only when someone backhanded me, or I fell or something I know that taste though, it's something nobody forgets, I think.

Jerry 8-10-2002 10:40

Heather,

My nasal passages smile and send hugs to you. Yes, big, snot hugs (bwah, ha, ha, ha). Okay, that's a little sick. How about just hugs?

Rachel 8-10-2002 0:22

Heather,

OH MY WORD!!!! That is so funny (merry laughter). I honestly can't get past the image of the hag. I think pain and suffering when I see that word (grin/wink). Not that pain and suffering are anything to grin or wink about.

Big smiles to you.

Rachel 8-10-2002 0:21

OMG, Rachel, just read about your experiences, too, oh dear!
((nasal hugs)) to you, too!

Heather 8-10-2002 0:18

Rachel - it's a play on words, silly!
Cauterize = caught her eyes
;oD

But thinking of actual cauterization, well, simply put: OUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCH!

Guess it could be applied in other ways - such as in place of 'seared', 'singed', or 'scorched'.
Sorry Howard.... ((nasal hugs))

Heather 8-10-2002 0:15

Howard,

I've got nose stories! I just gotta share (bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha)!

When I was a girl I had my nose cauterized on a regular basis. I had massive nosebleeds. I have thin tissues, or something like that. I've had lots of troubles with that sort of stuff. I think maybe that is part of why I had the aneurisms in my eyes. I guess I'm just a delicate little thing (grins and laughter). Anyway, I had my nose done every two weeks for several months. It was so awful. The docs felt that they would do it till the bleeding discontinued. My parents eventually gave up. I was a strong kid and I would kick and scream the whole way. I am talking from my bedroom, where I would cling to my bed, dress, door, bathroom, door, sisters, bedroom door, banister, front door, car door, (I think you get the picture). Into the deal the woman who did my nose was a total psycho. She used to pinch my nose when it was done and say "We'll make some scare tissue pretty little one!" My mum was shocked when the doc did that. She told her she didn't like it. The woman tried to defend it. In future, she didn't make any comments. She just pinched my nose. Heck that hurt. I can remember times when my nose would bleed till I was pretty much passing out, it would bleed after I was down for the count. Sometimes I thought I might just bleed to death. My mother and father wouldn't know what to do. I would be sitting at my desk and my nose would just start to gush. I'm not talking a little drip. It was as if somebody had turned on a tap. As my gushers continued I got to know when I would have one. I always tasted metal and salt before my nose would gush. I admit that I did break my nose three times by the age of nine. I was sort of a reckless/accident prone kid. That likely had something to do with all of it. I still get nosebleeds when the weather is dry. They aren't as bad as they used to be. I can't think of the last time I had one continue for more than twenty minutes. I feel bad for anyone who went thought the cauterization experience. It is nasty, nasty, nasty! I guess that is why I can't think of it as a roman